I’m finally almost ready to publish an e-book of Nadezhda Khvoshchinskaya’s “Behind the Wall” (За стеною, 1862), seen here in serial form in 2023. I’ve already had some wonderful feedback from colleagues, readers of this blog, and students (my own and others’) who have read a somewhat revised version. Even when I’m about to pronounce it done, though, I keep finding things, and I’d love to hear any advice you may have (no formal/informal pronoun stuff this time, I promise).
The tenant’s own personal servant
Russian from the 1880 text:
На другой день, осторожные шаги его “собственной” прислуги показали, как дрессирована эта прислуга и, следовательно, как светски воспитан господин. […] Из его комнаты раздались звуки скрипки, замолкли тотчас, и его “собственный” служитель явился ко мне с извинением, что меня обеспокоили. (11–12)
How it looked on this blog in 2023:
The next day the careful steps of “his own” servant showed how well this servant had been trained, and consequently to what aristocratic habits the master had been brought up. […] The sounds of a violin rang out from his room, were silenced immediately, and “his own” servant came to my rooms with an apology for having disturbed me.
Then I changed it to this in 2024:
The next day the careful steps of his “personal” servant showed how well this servant had been trained, and consequently to what aristocratic habits the master had been brought up. […] The sounds of a violin came from his room, immediately ceased, and his “personal” servant came to my rooms to apologize for the disturbance.
A student at Carleton College asked a question I couldn’t answer: why is “personal” in quotes in that last version? Well, because sobstvennyi ‘one’s own’ is in quotes in Russian. But this is like the quail in Fathers and Children—the quotes might be in the same place, but the reason for them doesn’t come across. So why are there quotes around sobstvennyi in the Russian text?
Sobstvennyi and the related noun sobstvennost’, which imply private ownership of something, come up four times in the story: twice here to describe the tenant’s servant (as opposed to the landlord’s servant, whose services come with the apartment), once about a different apartment that the man owns rather than rents, and once when the woman explicitly and shockingly says she wants to be the man’s property and his slave. This is 1862, a year after the emancipation, and Khvoshchinskaya in 1865 talks about this story by contrasting the “time of serfdom” to the “new life beginning.” Are the quotation marks the narrator’s way of dissociating himself from the serfdom-era habit of saying people belong to people? If so, maybe I should partly revert to 2023 and replace “his ‘personal’ servant” with “‘his’ servant,” possibly with a footnote. Or is there a different way to take the quotes around sobstvennyi?
Flowers on her mind or a wreath on her head?
This is emotional elliptical speech where you need to figure out what verb is implied.
Russian from the 1880 text:
— Ну, кто ж мешает? вдовствуй себе честно, салон открой! Ну, мужа ей камер-юнкера, флёрдоранжи ей в голову. Каравай ей, попа, благословение родительское… (44)
How it looked on this blog in 2023:
“Well, who’s stopping you? Be the honest widow, open a salon! Fill her mind with dreams of a courtier for a husband and fleurs d’orange at the wedding. And the traditional loaf of bread, and the priest, and the parental blessing…”
What I’m thinking of changing it to in 2025:
“Well, who’s stopping you? Be the honest widow, open a salon! Get her a courtier for a husband and a garland of fleurs d’orange. And the traditional loaf of bread, and the priest, and the parental blessing…”
A trap I keep falling into, but didn’t know about before I started trying to translate things, is clinging to a misreading because it felt clever when I thought of it. I thought I’d seen something when I decided v golovu had to imply putting ideas into someone’s head, not flowers in their hair or (as I now believe) a wreath of flowers onto their head. Anyone know for sure? Fleurs d’orange for a conservative-minded bride are in both Khvoshchinskaya stories I’ve translated.
Better-looking or just better?
Russian from the 1880 text:
Год, в самом деле, больше года мы не видались… Ты мог и забыть, и встретить лучше… Лучше меня не трудно встретить, что же, не мудрено, пожалуй… Но никто не может тебя любить так, как я, нет, невозможно! (32)
How it looked on this blog in 2023:
For a year, really for more than a year we didn’t see each other… You could have forgotten me or met someone prettier… It wouldn’t be difficult to meet someone prettier than me, I’m sure it wouldn’t be as hard as all that…
And in 2024 I stuck with “prettier” though I changed some other things:
For a year, really for more than a year we didn’t see each other… You could have forgotten me or met someone prettier… I’m sure it wouldn’t be so very hard to find someone prettier than me, it would be quite natural…
Here’s the thing. Khoroshii means good, and luchshe means better. But the short form khorosh can mean “handsome/beautiful, charming in appearance,” and it often did in the nineteenth century. And luchshe can be the comparative for that meaning too. Both things are logical in context, and I know some people prefer “better than me” in this passage, not “prettier” or “better-looking.”
There is a line running through the story where the woman worries the man no longer finds her attractive and another line where she worries he loves her only because he finds her attractive. They fell in love when she was a 25-year-old mother married to someone else, and now she is 30, if we take the man’s words as precise. I like the “better-looking” interpretation here because it continues the note of anxiety from earlier, when he says she has grown more beautiful (pokhoroshela) and she is afraid she will seem old to him. But I may just have this wrong, and I don’t want to activate associations that shouldn’t be there.
Correcting a slander
There’s no question here, but I made a significant enough mistake that I want to call attention to it.
Russian from the 1880 text:
Вдруг она вскочила, стремительно бросилась к двери и защелкнула ее на ключ; я слышал, как она упала на колени; я слышал слова ее молитвы, если только это были слова, если только эта агония была молитва… (27)
How it looked on this blog in 2023:
Suddenly she jumped up, rushed to the door, and locked it; I heard the words of her prayer, if they were indeed words, if that agony could indeed be called a prayer…
How it should have looked and will from now on:
Suddenly she jumped up, rushed to the door, and locked it; I heard her fall to her knees; I heard the words of her prayer, if they were indeed words, if that agony could indeed be called a prayer…
Generations of readers of Anna Karenina thought Stiva Oblonskii was more reprehensible than they should have thought he was. The word raskaivat’sia occurs twice, 18 words apart, and a copyist accidentally skipped those 18 words, which would have told readers that Oblonskii actually did feel bad about cheating on his wife.
I managed to duplicate that poor copyist’s mistake even though I had electric lights and word processors and a much, much shorter text. I skipped from one ia slyshal to the next and missed the part where the woman kneels to pray, unaware the narrator is listening. This is of course a big deal later when the man is questioning the sincerity of her Christian faith. So there’s one advantage of my slow pace finishing this!