A train is coming, The car is on the tracks.
The horn blares louder and louder.
The people know its going to crash.
The car is not stuck, not broken down, not undrivable.
He hears the train, all the same, But stubbornly the driver wont budge.
A train is coming, the car is on the tracks.
The doors wont open, hes locked us in.
There's a thin divider between you and the driver.
The beating makes it crack.
He knows its coming, just averts his gaze from the passengers he has trapped.
Turning up the radio to drown us out.
A train is coming, the car is on the tracks.
Why isn't everyone helping? surely they see it too.
Only a few are slamming, and screaming at the top of their lungs.
The radio isn't loud enough to drown out the horn
Maybe they just avert their gaze and it all goes away?
A train is coming, the car is on the tracks
It can't stop in time, but a crash could be avoided.
If the driver would just listen to reason and act.
This could all be fixed, but its like hes colluding.
Who wants it done? couldn't be just anyone.
A train is coming, the car is on the tracks
The conductor will die too, surely this wont be good for profit?
The crash won't be subtle, it wont be small.
They all must know it, yet the train comes
We still haven't moved.
If anything the driver has readjusted.
Whats his game, whats his aim? We will all die in a blaze.
The train is coming, its going to hit.
The divider is cracked, either he moves this car or we do.
This will have an update on me and shit at the end. the main part of this post is going to be about writing a ttrpg.
## Background
I love ttrpgs, their fun to play, fun to read. ive made acouple even thought they where far closes to art projects than actual games. (thats not new everything i make is)
I was working on a mech ttrpg, i will come back to it, but for reasons i dont want to get into i switched to a wild west ttrpg.
I plan on making the game at its base a wild west game, then make a supplement or two for adding in more paranormal and supernatural things, like werewolves, vampires, some magic ect.
## Step One: Namin stuff.
I believe if your going to make a "traditional" skill based ttrpg, then naming things to get a flavor is step one honestly.For this its a d20 system.
The skills are
- Grit: Physical Rolls
- Guile: Dexterity type checks
- Brains: Intelligence rolls
- Heart: Social Checks
you also have
- Luck: This is for everything else, i will come back to it
- Vigor: think like health, but the mechanic right now is slightly different.
## Step Two: Core Mechanic
The core Mechanic for this game is a "roll high, under" system, or called "blackjack". This system is popularized by the white hack, which the way they do it is by setting a lower threshold as well.
So to roll a check you want to roll under your ability score. However, to get a crit, you want to roll your stat exactly. Right now, until i play test it, im not having the lower threshold number. This might change, the more i think about it in my head the more i think it will so, if thats a clue lol.
The reason im going with a "roll high, under" is because i believe that having character roll low for their main checks, then for damage rolling high can be a little confusing. This isnt a bad system, I love cairn and many other osr/nsr games that use that system.
It will be interesting to see how player adapt to it.
### Luck
Luck as of this moment, is a skill like Grit or Guile. The difference as of right now however is that I'm not allowing advantage and disadvantage on luck. As well luck will be a skill that can be used generally, but also can be used in place of other checks. So if you wanted to say push a boulder your grit low? wanna test your luck? you can!
### Vigor
Vigor is the "hp" stat, the big difference though is that its more meant to be about how much drive you have in the fight still.
In combat you have a two main actions, and 1 reaction. These actions can be anything, including doing the same action twice.
So while an attack hits your vigor. So does doing the same action twice in one round.Doing the same action twice in one round will always take 1 vigor.
## Step three: player options
Player options are things like weapons, classes, items.
### Classes
there are a number of base game classes being made.
- Gambler
- Ex-Deputy
- Preacher
- Ranch Hand
- Doctor
- Drifter
- Hunter
Classes take from a few different ideas in this game
They will have a blurb about the class
then tell you on creation what you get stat wise.
Next is two tables. The first table is who you are/where. So for the gambler it asks "who you where at the table?" then gives "Charmin Fella", "Card Counter", and "Just Fuckin Lucky", based on these you get extra points on a skill and minus one on another skill.
After that table is another, that is an item from your past. These items are hooks for your character, but in some cases can be used for things. the "trusty bonesaw" of the doctor can double as a weapon in a pinch.
Then will come acouple abilities. I plan on these to be passive abilities that just happen around the player or for the player.
Then coming from my beloved shadowdark. Talents
The Talents table is rolled on every couple times you level just to give a little more to the player.
## Closing thoughts
I want the game to be only some what deadly, and to reflect that im trying to make it abit more of a grounded game. I know personally i like games that are both deadly, and not. A deadly game is fun as a game, while the other end is fun as a group roleplay session. Both are solid and i want this to fit more to the deadly side while still being able to rp abunch and not lose your character in the first fight.
---
## Life Update
God its been... a bit, like a few months. Ive been around. Ive got plenty of blog posts in the writing, but getting the want to write is hard now adays. I'm here though.
I want to start actually finishing and posting blog posts again, but thats easier said than done.
I have one mostly finished on retaliatory violence again, but then charlie kirk went and got shot and so its on the back burner for a little bit lmao. I know some right wing loser did it but just for a little cause it had/has nothing to do with that mfer.
Ive felt pretty burnt out in general recently. Just in general, and getting myself to do shit sometimes is a slog. But we ball. I hope to have a playtest of this game ready soon for my friends first then ill upload the playtest somewhere and see what others say.
This is a series of rants that go together if you think for longer than five seconds.
# 1. The Revolution Will Not Be Televised
The revolution is happening; it's just not being shown to you.
## "Where's this revolution leftists always talk about?"
It's happening; I think we as Americans have a very basic understanding of revolution. "This happened, and everything was better!" That's just not how it happened. The civil rights movement wasn't three protests, and racism ended. Queer liberation wasn't just Stonewall, and then homophobia ended. Getting rid of slavery wasn't just the Civil War. Yes, of course, I could also bring this outside of America.
However, the point is that revolution isn't just one central event that overthrows the oppressor in one night. It's a long, drawn-out fight to the end. It is never one event that just ends it then and there.
## "The revolution about to be televised; you picked the right time but the wrong guy."
I am a huge Kendrick fan; I loved the Super Bowl halftime show. However... I don't think there could have been a more apt example of how the revolution will NOT be televised.
During the show, pro-Palestine protesters jumped onto the field and waved flags, dodging security. One of his dancers also got up on the gnx on stage and pulled out a flag. During all this, the camera suspiciously missed those parts. The only reason we got to see this is because, luckily, we all have personal cameras that we can use. If this had happened years ago, no one would have a clue that these protesters were on the field because the media suppressed it.
Did you know there have been [two times as many protests in 2025 than in 2017?]([https://wagingnonviolence.org/2025/03/resistance-alive-well-us/](https://wagingnonviolence.org/2025/03/resistance-alive-well-us/)) No? That's because the media is actively hiding them from you. You aren't going to find this knowledge in your average status quo-pushing media. For any further right media you may, but then you'll find them condemning them, of course, so they don't really matter.
## Revolution is everywhere.
Revolution starts with you. Then with your community.
The revolution starts at home and then becomes true through our actions.
Resistance is alive and well in America. It's alive and well all over the world.
That should give you hope. It should also make you want to help in any way that you can.
## Get information from the right places.
Some people will fight me on "unbiased" news sources. Here's the deal... I don't believe they exist; everything has a bias. It just means you have to understand the bias of the news source going into reading. You should get your sources from multiple places; real knowledge of events comes from whole numbers of different outlets.
This means getting information from everything you can, within reason.
You aren't going to find genuinely valuable discussion on something like Fox News, because they are less a news station and more a conservative bubble that just wants to anger conservatives. However, getting information from CNN, the Washington Post, and AP News isn't bad; it's knowing their bias that is important. If something seems fishy, look into it more past them. Getting your news from multiple sources is important and necessary, especially getting it from independent sources.
# 2. Stop Beating Around The Bush.
I think the longer people go on trying to act like this isn't the truth, the worse it will get.
America has always been fascist. Nazi Germany praised America and took notes from us on our treatment of natives. We had slaves for so long that we still have people who are pro-slavery. We helped fight the Nazis and then brought them home with us.
## ICE
ICE agents are currently disappearing major voices and protesters who are pro-Palestine and have green cards. They are legal citizens. (Not that it would be any better if they weren't legal citizens.) Then sending them off American soil to Salvadoran prisons.
Are we really not going to call these concentration camps? Are we really going to act like ICE isn't just the American Gestapo?
They walk up not in uniforms and take people off the fucking streets. The only difference is it's not a secret because we live in the most documented time in human history. We are lucky to be able to document everything with phones and cameras because if not, no one would know that people are just up and disappearing from ICE.
## Fascist America.
This is what this is.
This is fascist America. We either face that truth now and fight it wholeheartedly or it will only get worse.
Anyone arguing with you that we are not living through a fascist America is only trying to delay the inevitable truth.
Do you need the Nazi symbology? America First. Do you need the kids in cages? We've had them for a long time. Do you need the disappearing of political dissidents? We fucking got it. The burning of books? Whole government web pages have been scrubbed and deleted. Nazi Salutes? You'll never guess!
[The Rhinos have come.]([https://youtu.be/5WmHRRyoC7w](https://youtu.be/5WmHRRyoC7w)). [We have crossed the Rubicon]([https://youtu.be/0YFdwfNh5vs](https://youtu.be/0YFdwfNh5vs)). We can no longer deny the people are turning to rhinos; we can no longer divert the river. It's here. Stop trying to cope by ignoring it; fight it. There are a thousand ways forward and only one way back.
# 3. Revolutionary Roles
There are a couple of really good images about the roles and what's needed in the revolution.
I just wanted to talk about this.
Find your part in the revolution. It is not just the protests, though they're important. It's also organization and propaganda (this is not a bad word, but I don't want to get into this here.) , community, and planning, and supplying.
There are a thousand roles that you may fit into, and every single one is important in the revolution.
Find a community near you, or make one. Whether it is built from the ground up from politics or not. Then use that community to share a voice and passion.
## "We don't need another communist book club!"
Oh! We do, though! If you hear communist book club and roll your eyes, I get it. However, you're kind of missing the point. I am not saying that every communist book club is doing this; however, it is a community of like-minded individuals who get together to discuss political books that can then be turned into actual action when used right.
It goes further, of course. Do you get together and game with friends? Start talking about issues that are ongoing with them, find a common issue you can all rally behind in your local community, and come together to push for fighting it.
Our best fight against oppression is our community and friends. We can use that for good.
## Find Your Place
Find what you are good at, and use that. Learn about what is needed and about what you can do to help. Then do that.
We need more people doing more different things. Figure out where you're the most helpful. Are you able to easily explain complex subjects to people? Try to be an educator. Are you an artist? A writer? Propagandist. Are you a good leader? Organizer. Ect Ect Ect. Look into this and find resources on how to do it yourself. Find other people in the role you want and enjoy and ask them about how they do it. You don't have to go into it in the dark; people have been doing these all for years. Join in.
## 4. Holy Fuck, Censor Your Protest Photos.
First off, stop taking your goddamn normal phone to a protest. Like, goddamn. [Activist Guide to Securing your Smartphone]([https://www.privacyguides.org/articles/2025/01/23/activists-guide-securing-your-smartphone/](https://www.privacyguides.org/articles/2025/01/23/activists-guide-securing-your-smartphone/)) really great post with a guide to securing it.
But this is also your heads-up to do this if you're planning on going to protests. Your phone uniquely identifies you. You can get burners, but you have to be careful. If you take pictures or a video of a protest and plan on posting them, CENSOR THE GODDAMN PHOTOS. I have seen this too goddamn much. Protesters have been identified so easily by normal people. Full masks on. So the police will also be able to do that.
Blur is non-destructive; coloring over with a marker tool can be bypassed if you're not careful. Put those goddamn emoji stickers on faces.
Change your camera settings or download a camera app that doesn't give the photo any metadata about your location or phone. That or scrub the metadata before you fucking post it.
Use signal. You want to talk about going to a protest? You download signal. You can share knowledge of protests; that's fine. Your own plans? You talk about that shit under encryption. You also delete those goddamn messages when needed.
# Home Work.
Okay, not really; I just don't have anything to add to the end here. Instead, I am sharing a couple of resources, one of which I have shared extensively. The other one I found recently I think is also good.
I know I talk about privacy a lot, and I think it's important; I also think it's a matter of what you need to do and what you decide is best for you to do.
So here are two privacy-focused things I'm sharing again:
- [Activist Checklist]([https://activistchecklist.org/](https://activistchecklist.org/))
- [Privacy Guides]([https://www.privacyguides.org/en/](https://www.privacyguides.org/en/))
I am the first person to ever say this! This blog post is 2000% original. No one in the history of the internet has ever said anything bad against algorithms till now.
## Music
I stopped using Spotify a few days before I moved to my new place; I had off and on been into the idea but never really got into having local music. I almost exclusively listen to local music now, and it undeniably is better for me. When I feel like listening to something that isn't in my own collection, I use a YouTube Music client to listen to some of my playlists, but it's rare.
I started finding music in other ways, from randomly stumbling upon it on YouTube (yes, I know this has an algorithm; when your YT algorithm is as fucked as mine though, it doesn't really matter) to magazines that still talk about music and do reviews of shit. I have found an actual love for finding music again from other humans.
### [Bandcamp](https://bandcamp.com/)
I started using this super recently, but it's easily THE way I am going to find new and interesting artists. I am notorious for wishlisting anything that slightly interests me on other platforms (my Steam wishlist currently has over 900 games on it). This has been the same experience so far; [my wishlist](https://bandcamp.com/sticktrix/wishlist) is full of queercore and punk bands and will only grow honestly.
No ulterior motives posting that link :3
I have found more interesting and unique sounds and bands on Bandcamp than I ever did on Spotify.
#### I love art, March 2024 :3
So weird art/games I played in March aren't happening. I don't have enough time, lmao. BUT count this as me doing that here and now! I'm not a music reviewer, so it's just gonna to be rapid-fire albums you should check out, especially cause I haven't been able to really get fully into them just yet.
- [Passing In Public & Other Lies Constructed By Alexandra Valentine](https://alexvalentine.bandcamp.com/album/passing-in-public-other-lies-constructed)
- [Bad Connection by Spam Caller](https://phagetapes.bandcamp.com/album/bad-connection)
- [Freaky Alien Genotype by underdoll](https://1800corp.bandcamp.com/album/freaky-alien-genotype)
- [Bad Girl by Shauna And The Shams](https://shaunaandtheshamms.bandcamp.com/album/bad-girl)
- [Clock by Queerbait](https://queerbaitband.bandcamp.com/album/clock)
- [Disappointment.Death.Dishonor by Closet Burner](https://ifbrecords.bandcamp.com/album/disappointment-death-dishonor)
- [Political Child by Pink Suits](https://pinksuits.bandcamp.com/album/political-child)
- [These Faggots Kill Fascists EP by Addict Suunshine](https://addictsuunshinesucks.bandcamp.com/album/these-faggots-kill-fascists-ep)
- [Tranny Monsters by Psychotic Clown Pussy](https://psychoticclownpussy.bandcamp.com/album/tranny-monsters)
- [BBLP by B.I.M.B.O.S](https://bimbosatl.bandcamp.com/album/bblp)
- [New Wave of British Transphobia by Gender Warfare](https://genderwarfare.bandcamp.com/album/new-wave-of-british-transphobia)
### Radio
No, not the radio in your car; those are fine, but commonly the motivation is more on money than any way of recommending you the songs. You're gonna get the same 20 bands on most any radio station, and even if you can find new music, the likelihood of finding a station you like in your area is low.
I mean internet radio. If you're on Linux, that would mean [ShortWave,](https://gitlab.gnome.org/World/Shortwave) if you're on Windows, you're shit out of luck. I can't help you, lmao. Shortwave has a cool feature where it auto-records the last few songs so you can keep them and refind them later for easier access or if you liked the song.
I highly recommend it. I love finding cool bands through human recommendations.
### Sites For Music
This is a wide range of meanings, from [NTS.live,](https://www.nts.live/) which has so much cool shit on it, to easily learn about music and other things people create. Or [Album of the Year,](https://www.albumoftheyear.org/) where people and critic scores show how albums have been rated. Or [Rate Your Music,](https://rateyourmusic.com/) which is a more pretentious Album of the Year. It's a more human-focused way of finding music. There are also YouTube channels like [COLORS](https://www.youtube.com/@COLORSxSTUDIOS) that show off a number of different artists of certain genres. [Kinda Neat if you can hear me; please come back. ;-;](https://www.youtube.com/@KindaNeat)
### Magazines
It's not my favorite way, and I don't really have any recommendations, but find music mags and journalists and go through their reviews. Even Pitchfork, which understandably has a lot of hate, has a great "new releases" section that you can actually get an [RSS feed too directly](https://pitchfork.com/feed/reviews/best/albums/rss). So you don't have to see anything else from them.
### Reviewers
A lot of people like Anthony Fantano, and listen, if you like him, Hell yeah, I think he's pretty alright, though I disagree with a lot of his scores I find. There are a whole lot more out there like Deep Cuts (though he's not around much anymore). Find one that is in your niche, and you'll likely find some really cool ass music.
## Blogs
I don't have enough experience in finding blogs, but I do follow a couple like [Reilly Spitzfaden](https://reillyspitzfaden.com/) ([RSS](https://reillyspitzfaden.com/feed.xml)) who I found through a databending post.
## RSS
I love RSS, and did you know I have one?
Did you also know you can turn almost anything into an RSS feed with [OpenRSS?](https://openrss.org/) I use this for basically everything, including news, YouTube (though YouTube doesn't need this, channels already have a hidden RSS feed), blogs, newsletters (like Substack(fuck newsletters), and Bandcamp. You can even use it for social media if you hate things but still want to follow artists or people.
## Social Media
I love and hate non-algorithm social media, actually. I use Bluesky, and I kind of just post whatever the fuck I want about what I'm doing, honestly.
Social media is hell; I think it's mostly fine, but the way the algorithm for most social media works makes them unusable for people with no following if you want to share your art with people. However... that doesn't magically go away when there is no algorithm. It's harder to find people and things you like on Bluesky, and more niche things or specific things likely don't have a community on there. Which, to be fair, don't have a community on the algorithm ones either.
So it's like two sides of the same coin to me; I prefer the no-algorithm of Bluesky, to be fair, or Tumblr with no algorithm. However, I can't say these things are amazing or anything. I kinda just wish forums were popular again for actual community lmao.
## Human Interaction In The Digital Age
Its rare to have human interaction online now a days, and that's because a big company has made robots that pick and choose what is best for you to see. The algorithm gives you an illusion of choice around what you watch, listen too, or read.
Where actually discovering things through other people, with no algorithm feels far better. I enjoy bands my friends told me about from years ago still, I enjoy music i found through the tony hawk games as a kid. I enjoy books friends let me borrow, or people recommended. I enjoy shows that people recommend me. More than I do ones that just happened upon me due to an algorithm finding the "perfect match"
# Other Shit
I haven't posted another blog post in a bit cause I am working on them atm lmao, and I am working on my game, and I am working on worldbuilding. I might post some of it, but who knows with me? I am also working on a new fun little side project so I can do some coding while figuring out my bane, 3D modeling. The circus happened. I do actually want to share it, but I need to upload it to my computer so I can edit it all down and such. Then the concert in May, which I can't wait for.
ALSO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111!!!!1 My birfday is in April, :3 April 14th, so hell yeah, I'll be 27 in less than a month.
About how so much discourse in the queer community is absolutely useless or stupid. Its only used as a way to divide us, like kink at pride and label discourse.