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Jude (they/them), Gavin (he/him), Max (he/they) | alterhuman system journaling | adults | like/follow from @mackerelgray

stories
“Wolf in the sense that…”
theriancommunity writingsthank you for writing!

vagabondbeast:

  • where you see a human face, I see a wolf’s head
  • where you see a twitching nose, I see a snout
  • where you see a flat head, I see perked ears
  • where you see fair skin, I see a thick coat of fur
  • where you see hands and feet, I see paws

You see a human walking on two legs, but that’s a wolf on all fours.

Now, on to my thoughts about identifying as a wolf.

I acknowledge that if I take a DNA test right now, it’d show up as human. Can’t argue with that. Whatever reality is, whatever life is, in this one, I’m physically human and I can’t change that.

However, I am a spiritual person. I believe body and consciousness are separate. An individual is their consciousness and consciousness is an essence (soul, energy, life force, whatever you want to call it). Your core. My core, my soul, my essence, my consciousness is wolf. That’s what I am. You can put me in a room full of humans and physically, I’ll look identical to them. But if you watch me, truly watch me, you’ll start to wonder if I really am human because I’ll act nothing like them.

I move like a wolf. My body naturally postures and acts like a wolf, making instinctual movements based on my surrounding environment.

I think like a wolf, like a canine, a predator. Always watching, cautious, curious unless I’m in a relaxed environment. My reactions, thought processing, though patterns - it’s all wolf.

I can look in the mirror and see a human for a second, looking back at me, but when my eyes meet the reflection, a wolf appears. In my mind’s eye, this body is a wolf. In my dreams, even in dreams where I’m still interacting with humans, it’s a wolf’s body instead of the human one I have now. Doing silly things like trotting around Wal-Mart with a basket in my mouth, shopping for soy sauce and briskets.

The best way I can describe how I feel as a wolf in a human’s body is like that of the anime Wolf’s Rain. On the outside layer, everyone sees a human as if it’s an illusion. And sometimes, I myself see in that human form. But underneath it is a wolf in disguise. I just seem to have forgotten how to turn off the human appearance.

One thing I do believe, though, that keeps me from labeling myself as a physical therian, is that I still accept my human self right now. Yes, I feel species dysphoria, body dysphoria, and some days, I feel depressed that I’ll never get to express myself truly in this life. But that’s ok. After 20 years, I’ve accepted the human parts of me that won’t ever change. They don’t make me any less of a wolf. They don’t change my identity, my core. Because I know that after this life is done, I’ll return to what I once was, ready for the next reality/life. Hopefully that next one, I’ll have my wolf body back again, but I’ll accept whatever comes because I’m lucky to even have the chance to be human right now.

I’m a wolf that’s experiencing human emotions, as vast and complex as they are. I’m a wolf that’s experiencing human culture and language. I’m a wolf that gets to travel across the seas and see lands I wouldn’t have been able to previously. I’m a wolf that has thumbs and uses them to type, write, hold things, play video games. I’m a wolf that can listen to and sing with all kinds of music. I’m a wolf that can eat cheeseburgers and chocolate bars and pizza. I’m a wolf that can walk up tall buildings and see the stretch of landscapes. I’m a wolf that can look up at the stars and know what they are, know that there are planets out there and other systems and galaxies.

Yeah, I’m sad I’m not physically a wolf but to let myself continue to deny that I’m human right now. To let myself stay in that pit of despair and what-if’s, I’ll never live doing that.

To be oneself, one must accept themselves, all parts of who they are.

I am human.
I am wolf.

I am me.

And yes, this identity still falls under Therianthrope/Therian. Even if my experience and self views on my identity differ from other therians doesn’t mean the label doesn’t fit me anymore. The label still applies because I still identify as a nonhuman animal.

https://knifedog-machina.tumblr.com/post/816602478671020032
I know you miss home, but try to remember everything this world has to offer - take it from a god…

two-facedgod:

I know you miss home, but try to remember everything this world has to offer - take it from a god who’s been on this planet since the beginning. We’ve got thunderstorms, city lights, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. You can listen to Nirvana, eat sushi, kiss your loved ones, and read comic books. Explore the forests. Lay out on the beach and get some sun. Get lost in the urban jungle. Earth is a beautiful and terrible place - I don’t want you to miss out.

https://knifedog-machina.tumblr.com/post/816355359719571456
“What can I do with this” feels better and earnestly more applicable than “what is this?” In terms…

gift-shop-dragon:

“What can I do with this” feels better and earnestly more applicable than “what is this?” In terms of figuring out what types I have. Moving away from the “always inside you” or “born this way” type narratives that seem to have characterised alterhuman soul searching. Sometimes you’re not looking for some deeply held long lost secret, there’s no deeply held inner box for you to unlock, you’ve just got to pin-point hazy expirences that are meaningful to you and make them make more sense.

I’ve had distinct wing shifts for a while but pushed them away because there wasn’t enough proof of what they meant in any direction and I’m at a point where I’ve got to tie it back to something else or make something up. It’s important that this also DOESN’T make me a linktype or a linker, linking is a distinct culture and not an excuse to push otherkin with less magical sounding expirences out of mainstream spaces.

https://knifedog-machina.tumblr.com/post/816355343442509824
Subtle gear for nonhumans
community writingsnonhumanotherkintheriangear

archivekin:

Subtle gear for nonhumans

A lot of gear suggestions aren’t conducive with workplace or school dress codes, might be unsafe for some, or just aren’t everyone’s style. Here’s some ideas for understated nonhuman expression that’s not just “wear a graphic print”.

If this post inspires you to buy anything, please shop secondhand where you can!

CLOTHING
  • Fabric choices - Animal print or fur isn’t the only option! Focus on which textures you associate with your ‘types. Maybe you like heavier fabrics like wool or leather, wrapping you in a protective layer. Maybe you enjoy the lightweight feel of silks and linen that flutter in the wind. Maybe the structure of sturdy denim feels like a chassis. What feels right against your skin?
  • Cut - This refers to the shape or style of a garment. What silhouettes read as your ‘types? Maybe you want to add bulk via a boxy blazer with shoulder pads. Maybe sleek, straight cut trousers or a pencil skirt is more you. Look up cuts of jeans if you’re new to this and want to start somewhere!
  • Socks - Maybe they’re full on novelty socks, maybe they’ve got hoof prints on the underside. Fun and subtle!
  • Shoes - Big platforms or steel toe boots might remind you of hooves, or running shoes can keep you nimble and quiet on your toes. From an aesthetic standpoint, pay attention to the colour and textures. Maybe a brown suede reminds you of your paws, maybe metal hardware reminds you of your shell.
ACCESSORIES
  • Watches - These could be subtle, with just a strap colour your associate with your ‘type, or a full on statement piece that looks like alien technology. I picked mine because it reminds me of a cat collar.
  • Cat collar bracelets - Speaking of, these just look like leather bracelets and are a hell of a lot subtler than wearing a dog collar!
  • Glasses frames - Does the shape of your frames feel insectoid? Round and owl like? Qquare and boxy? How do they transform the shape of your face? Of course, a relevant colour or pattern is also an option!
  • Pins & Brooches - These could be colourful enamel pins or small simple vintage brooches. Wear them on your clothes or bags.
  • Belts - This can be a great place to introduce heavier textures like reptile skin or suede, or you can go the opposite direction and use fabric or rope. A statement buckle can be a fun addition if you want to get a bit flashier!

TL;DR Thinks about these two things: what feels right in a sensory way (good textures, lines up with phantom shifts) and what looks right to you (colours, patterns, how fabric sits on your body).

https://knifedog-machina.tumblr.com/post/816172155061534720
the politics of being a DID system in later stages of recovery is… interesting, to say the least.

snowchester-system:

the politics of being a DID system in later stages of recovery is… interesting, to say the least.

to put it plainly, some people/beings/systems hate nondisordered systems. or at the very least, don’t like them. it’s often a reason of hatred towards endogenic systems. that they do not have a disorder, that they do not experience symptoms.

which puts one at odds when they are in later stages of DID recovery. as one becomes less and less disordered, experiencing less and less symptoms. and the goal, objectively, is to be not disordered.

and of course, people swear up and down that they are totally accepting of functional multiplicity. they hold the idea of it up as a grand prize, something that everyone should aspire to, and that anyone who isn’t interested in recovery is a bad person.

and we find, plenty of times, that people who hold recovery up in such a high regard tend to not care about recovered systems. perhaps in words, but not really in practice. so many times, we have been treated as… a prop of sorts. people praise us, but seem relatively uninterested in whatever we have to say on the matter. they ask for advice, we worry that they’ll dismiss our advice wholeheartedly, we give it anyways, they dismiss our advice wholeheartedly. and then they go on about how they hate nondisordered systems, systems who don’t experience amnesia, systems who have control over who fronts, systems who don’t self harm, and so on and so forth. but they’re not talking about you, of course! or, at least they say they don’t.

people… aspire to recovery. but then some seem to hate the steps that get you there. even with final fusion, it’s not being a single alter but being all your alters at once. people will say they’re pro-recovery in one sentence, and then state that not hating your alters is “faker bullshit.”

in conclusion: people say they love recovery, but it seems to be only in theory. they idolize the state of recovery, but don’t seem to really care about the words of recovered systems. they then hate other kinds of systems that a recovered system shares a lot of traits with, while being confused as to why the recovered system may not feel at home around them.

i really don’t blame recovered systems for leaving all together.

https://knifedog-machina.tumblr.com/post/815847070771593216
Reminder that alterhuman =/= nonhuman. Those are not the same thing! Nonhumans can be considered…

interstellarsystem:

Reminder that alterhuman =/= nonhuman. Those are not the same thing! Nonhumans can be considered alterhuman, but so can many humans. Otherhearteds, systems and their members, those who are both human and nonhuman, fictionfolk who have human sources, factfolk, the list goes on.

“Human” is not the opposite of “alterhuman”. To describe a non-alterhuman, you’re looking for “orthohuman”. To describe people who don’t identify as human, it’s “nonhuman” (but also remember that you can be both nonhuman AND human, they don’t cancel each other out).

https://knifedog-machina.tumblr.com/post/815825647910912000
HowlCon 2026 Application Schedule

howlcon:

Digital drawing of HowlCon's mascots. Hunter, the cyclops demon werewolf, is crouching down and scribbling on the back of a map. They are wearing a red flannel shirt, sunglasses, and a blue backpack with a patch of MothMan on it and the words: I believe. Chamomile, a purple bear, is standing over them and waving at the viewer. One of her paws stays firmly on Hunter's backpack. She is wearing a brown t-shirt and puffy green vest with a fluffy beige collar. A dark, moth-shaped shadow with red eyes looms behind the pair.ALT
HowlCon 2026 Application Schedule

Hello campers! This year’s HowlCon will be hosted on October 23-25, 2026.

Staff, panelist and artist applications will be done through a google form. However, this year attendee registration will be done directly on discord using the server member applications.

We will be re-using last year’s discord server. If you attended last year, and have not left the server, you do not need to apply for membership again.

We look forward to seeing you there!

https://knifedog-machina.tumblr.com/post/815606271803899904
More people should really at least consider otherlinking to be a thing they themselves can do. The…

infinite-curses:

More people should really at least consider otherlinking to be a thing they themselves can do. The community is quiet and the tags tend to be overrun with crossposting, but I think it’d be a lot louder if people actually considered it as a genuine possibility a little more often. ‘Linking is usually seen as an afterthought you tack onto the end of a list of alterhuman terms and not usually discussed too much more than that from what we can see. Which is sad because it really can be beneficial and it absolutely has a place in the broader alterhuman community.

You really want to be an animal, or your favourite character, but you know you’re not? You can do that–you can just.. become them.

You have a hearttype but it feels kinda weird and it feels like you should have been that thing, but you’re not? You could always 'link it if you’re dysphoric about not being that thing.

You have something that was–or you thought was–a kintype, but now it’s not, and you miss it? Just link it back into yourself.

You think [thing] is really cool and it’d be cool to be one? You can!

You want to incorporate an aesthetic of [thing] into your identity and it’d work best if you just became that thing? That’s absolutely a thing you can do.

You think it’d be fun to identify as something other than what your body is? You can make that happen.

Being [thing] would help with something in your life? Go ahead, you can do that.

You can mold your own sense of self an identity however you see fit, and that’s really cool. Honestly it comes across as a power move. You get to make your own self, no matter what came before it.

https://knifedog-machina.tumblr.com/post/815288437299101696
btw ‘syscourse’ and plural infighting isn’t accomplishing anything. back in the late 90s and early…

:

btw ‘syscourse’ and plural infighting isn’t accomplishing anything. back in the late 90s and early 2000s, the only communities and resources for plurals that were widely available were for and by non-traumagenic systems. the only people who were advocating for normalizing and accepting plurality on a large scale were non-traumagenic systems. if you did research into plurality 10 - 15 years ago, most of the results that came up would have been experiences written by spiritual and natural plurals.

many people at the time were expressing their dislike of forcing every single plural to identify as if they had trauma- many found this insulting to themselves, and rightfully so! no one should be forced to identify in a way they don’t agree with just to rightfully be a part of a community they already occupy. this obsession with “you can only be plural if you have trauma” has only come about extremely recently. i found out about plurality through the otherkin community. i was actually told about DID by someone in the spiritual plurality community. people don’t seem to understand that most non-traumagenic systems have respect for traumagenic systems and don’t gatekeep their spaces to prevent us from entering.

older plural spaces on the web like healthymultiplicity accepted all plurals. the goal of the community was to show that you can live as plural and not have it be a tragedy or something to “fix”. if anything, folks with dissociative disorders owe a LOT to non-traumagenic systems for pushing to normalize plurality without implying that we HAVE to integrate our headmates and try to stop being plural. a huge part of the early online plural community was there to push that plurals can and do live happy lives and shouldn’t view their plurality as a bad thing

it’s not going to make singlet society see us in a better light. it’s not going to get people to understand plurality better. it’s not going to get us better mental health resources. it’s not going to improve the quality of care for dissociative and traumagenic systems. all you’re doing is bullying someone else that you don’t understand simply because you don’t agree with them.

you’re not going to recover from your trauma or understand your own plurality better by denying the existence of other types of plurality. you’re not “making the community safer” by gatekeeping. telling other people how their brains work is policing their identities. whether or not you want to accept it, if you forcefully kick endos out of plural spaces, you are the cop you claim to hate.

fighting with people on your own team will never net you a victory. to every other dissociative and traumagenic system: endos are on your side. you are wearing the same jersey. you are made of the same flesh and blood. enough. come together to share your similarities instead of fighting over differences. celebrate the diversity that plurality offers. don’t take someone else’s identity personally. someone can share the space with you without having to match exactly how you identify. diversity is what makes a community thrive.

https://knifedog-machina.tumblr.com/post/815164810881843200
Several weeks later, we finally have a follow-up to this post by @semiplural about distinguishing…
pluralitycommunity writings

chameleons3:

Several weeks later, we finally have a follow-up to this post by @semiplural about distinguishing system folks who are less separate.

Figuring out who’s who when you’re not that separate

A lot of guides that we’ve come across for figuring out who’s all in a system, or who’s there, or who’s around, are well tailored for collectives who are more multiple. That is, who have a decent amount of discrete separateness. “Multiple people in one body,” full stop. Those guides can exclude folks who don’t experience a lot of separation.

One of the reasons it took us so long to realize we are plural is that there isn’t a ton of overt division between us. We are distinct, but not divided. “Three headed dog” and other hydra-esque metaphors describe us well.

We’re going to make two posts on this topic. This one will be a more general “here’s stuff that helped us that may help you.” The other one will be more specific and posted to our 18+ site.

Defining “less separation”

For our purposes, we’re going to outline what “not a lot of separation” means for us, specifically. This may not be true for you. It’s to contextualize our own experiences as you read.

  • Few to no memory barriers
  • Unfiltered thought and feeling access to one another
  • Switching is “passing the I” or “becoming one another.” Switching does not feel like “trading places,” “becoming possessed,” “dissociating,” or “losing time.”
  • “I just feel like me, but different.”
  • Life history, relationship with cultural background, relationships to external people, and things of that nature generally feel the same, similar, or agreed upon. Your parents are all of your parents, your cultural background is all of your cultural background, and so on.
  • Relationship with gender and sexual orientation feel congruous. Examples: same points of gender dysphoria, even for different reasons. This is true for us, even though our genders, sexual orientations, and romantic orientations, themselves are different.
  • Alternatively: sexual orientation and/or gender changing between us looks enough like singular-normative fluidity that we do not initially notice it as different selves.
  • Lots of blending and temporary fusing.
  • In most ways, our values align.
A few ways: the tl;dr
  • Retrospectives and reflections: can you point out times in your life where you were just different?
  • Skill and capacity changes: are there certain “eras” in your life when you were very good at some things, but not others? Do the skills change in ways you can’t really explain? Or does the explanation you do have, like disability burnout or therapy, feel incomplete? Was there a time you could tolerate some sensory input, but now you can’t, and vice versa?
  • Make a timeline of your life: Map out points of substantial change. Fill in gaps as you find more information. The important part is not “factual accuracy” but how you remember things and how you were impacted.
  • Track things in the present: Try feeling out vibes about where you’re at, what you’re drawn to, what values you’re prioritizing in the moment. Track them and find patterns.

A central takeaway here: this is not a process of laying out objective, factual evidence that can be externally verified. This is an ongoing process of feeling things out. If you’re sighted, here’s a metaphor: you know those times when you’re feeling around in your bag for something, and you end up just sticking your face in to look because you can’t find it with your hands? There’s no sticking your face in with this. You’re gonna have to trust what you’re feeling and your interpretation of what it is, and accept that it will change with time.

Keep reading

https://knifedog-machina.tumblr.com/post/814375083999166464
soulbonding doesn’t have to be romantic
soulbondingwe use “gateway system” as our main label but we've picked up a lot of good words from the soulbonding community

endogenesis-evangelion:

soulbonding doesn’t have to be romantic

soulbonding doesn’t have to be platonic. or involve any kind of close relationship between soulbonds and the person who soulbonds them

soulbonding doesn’t have to involve a host. anyone in a system can soulbond including other soulbonds. a soulbond is not materially different from anyone else in a system (unless they are for reasons specific to them)

soulbonding isn’t always voluntary and historically was not seen as voluntary on the part of the host/system. voluntary soulbonds are valid! but sometimes people just choose to show up

soulbonding doesn’t have to involve souls! it’s not meant to be literal it’s meant to describe the feeling. your soulbonding is valid no matter why you believe it happens

soulbonding is just a connection to a mind who is perceived as originating from elsewhere, while also being somehow “fictional” or linked to a fictional medium

soulbonding covers OCs and originally was used by writers to refer to a character who showed up and exercised their own will over the story. it was then expanded to other people’s characters. these were sometimes termed “insourced” and “outsourced” soulbonds respectively

soulbonding is basically like being a gateway system, with the potential for “daytrippers” who visit part-time and “telephone bonds” that can communicate while staying in their worlds

soulbonding can be mystical and magical if you perceive it to be so! but it has no relation to the “twin flame/destined romantic partner” idea of a soulbond that originated in the new age community. they have two separate origins. of course you can experience a romantic connection with a soulbond but they are not inherently linked

https://knifedog-machina.tumblr.com/post/814374044962095104
as a traumagenic system how do i stop feeling resentment towards endogenic systems who seemingly taught plurality as a fun and stress free thing
pluralitywe don't use origin labels at all and that has not made system spaces any less stressfulbc it's exhausting to see people like you at each other's throats over and over“endos dni! endo safe!” why does a whole category of plurality have to be treated as a debate topic? theyre people.we support endogenic systems and it's exhausting to have to specify thatbecause some systems make it a core part of their online identity to deny other people's existence.

Break down the origin binary you've trapped yourself in. We're more alike than you think, and these labels are new as fuck. They were coined to try to end this exact kind of internet-brained discourse. It didn't work. People still give each other shit for existing in ways they personally dislike. People still stereotype each other instead of talking.

Does it have to be like that? What are we actually getting from shredding each other? How's it help us in a world where the average singlet doesn't give a shit because we're all the same kind of crazy in their book- where Split landed big in the box office, where people tell us that the only way they'll treat us as sane is if we conform to their standards of health? Who defines disorder? Why do they get the right to call us all mad? Why are we making our peers into harrassment targets when we've got bigger problems?

Doesn't matter the kind of system: people can play, cry, celebrate, fall apart, get together, grow, break down, get traumatized, heal, change, struggle, and whatever other "you must be real enough to ride this ride" bullshit you were taught makes a system worth respecting. The contest of "you must be this fucked up to enter" is complete bullshit, and it teaches people to perform suffering in exchange for basic decency towards them. I'd rather have a world where we're not teaching new systems that they have to be in horrible pain to be real, so if some systems get to skip believing that they're doomed to suffer and manage to have fun with their lives because of that, good for them.

No one owes you their full life story online. No one owes anyone else a daily dose of struggle-wanking just to be treated with basic respect. If someone just wants to post about the fun and silly shit, they can. They don't owe you their pain. But if you want to see it, there are plenty of folks under any label who'll talk about it and show you what you're not seeing.

How many folks using the endogenic label have you talked to with an open mind- not to argue about it, but to actually listen and understand them? Are you pigeonholing a whole class of people into a stereotype, and do you want to keep doing that?

You think they never stress about it? You think they never face shit for it? Go ask them about stress. Go ask them how they get treated for being plural "for fun" and how that affects their daily life. Go ask them what's hard. They don't owe you an answer, but I've never met a system that's totally stress free without doing a shitload of work to get there. I have met systems who manage to have fun with it anyway. I have met systems that learned to make plurality a net positive for them even with their struggles.

Doesn't matter the kind of system. We're all dealing with something. But wouldn't you rather live in a world where sharing a head is allowed to be fun sometimes?

https://knifedog-machina.tumblr.com/post/814373761774141440
I wrote what I am calling a “weird” essay about my relationship with being fictional, which is to…
community writingsfictionfolkfictivemedivh we are shaking hands in “ah fuck i have to go get my partner who fell between the cracks of the world. Hang On”gavin talks

karazhan-crew:

karazhan-crew:

I wrote what I am calling a “weird” essay about my relationship with being fictional, which is to say, I’m not, the fiction is ME. I use terms like “fictive” and “source” to communicate more effectively and find people with similar experiences, less because I feel like I’m “from” something fictional. And then Khadgar lives somewhere between those two points, seeing himself as needing to wrench himself from the jaws of canon, in his own words. I don’t see it, myself, because I don’t believe that canon has much to do with me other than curiously reflecting a good portion of my life and getting the names right. It’s more folklore or a myth than a retelling, to me.

The essay is a mess and I will need to return to it a few times for editing, but I’ll post it either here or on our website when it’s done. Most things go directly to our website these days because it’s just so much work to edit them for multiple platforms. Formatting is a real bitch. The downside is that it means that almost no one reads them because they have no way to know they exist.

-Medivh

This essay, I’m Not Fictional, the Fiction is Me, is now up on our website. It was also crossposted to the Fictionkind Dreamwidth if anyone who’s a member would prefer to read it there. This is also accompanied by a significant update to our website in general, including essays from Mithras, Khadgar, Tanix, Research, Popel, and myself, plus Caleb and Khadgar’s poems from the Centaurus Festival. (We have other poems we’ve written since that we’re hanging onto for now since we’re debating what we should do with them.)

Anyone can feel free to message us on whatever platform is most convenient if they’d like to talk about anything we’ve written on our website. We don’t crosspost to Tumblr much at this point partially for formatting reasons and partially because Tumblr is just awful for longform discussions. Still, if it’s the best platform for you to talk to us on, feel free.

-Medivh

https://knifedog-machina.tumblr.com/post/814366952186314752
Many Voices Google Drive
pluralityzine

hiraethsloft:

Many Voices Google Drive

Hello greater internet, specifically the plural/multiple side. We watched a presentation ages ago (you can find it here) about a brief history of DID and plural experiences by the great LB Lee (if you haven’t already, check out their Dreamwidth, it’s chalked full of great info and musing from a fellow multi). In it, they mentioned a MPD/DID magazine from the 90s called Many Voices.

So we took a look.

When we say we were floored by the content in this zine, I am understating by a wide margin. These digitized zines are like a plural history gold mine (if you want a real gold mine, lemme know and I’ll make a post about The Archive as I affectionately call it). Here’s the link to Many Voices’ official website - the actual PDFs of the zine are under “Newsletter” (for each zine’s specific TWs -> Subject Index - they’re highly specific as well, so no need for guesswork). The website covers the entire history of the magazine and its founder, Lynn Wasnak, who was a plural from Ohio, USA. Since Lynn’s passing, the site is owned and run by the ISST-D in perpetuity. We would highly recommend surfing through the entire catalog, it is one of the most navigable archive we’ve come across.

However, we did note that the format for the newsletters aren’t formatted in the most accessible way (links to each PDF via month, all in separate documents), so we decided to compile them into one Google Drive Folder! Each PDF is sectioned by year in chronological order (Feb -> April -> June, etc). Please mind that we did all of this in the middle of the night so there may be some errors in the format. If you notice any, feel free to dm us or leave a comment.

We hope that this can introduce y'all to an exceptional piece of plural/multi history. Take care!

(Note: the final PDF, Many Voices 2012, consists of issues from Feb-Jun due to Lynn’s deteriorating health and eventual passing in 2013)

https://knifedog-machina.tumblr.com/post/814106176606306304
lark was, as usual, much more eloquent in his writeup of it, but every so often I think about how he…
god yeah. lets do difficult things

slightly-sigilant:

slightly-sigilant:

lark was, as usual, much more eloquent in his writeup of it, but every so often I think about how he really wanted to learn the cello and I really did not. so we rented a cello, signed up for lessons, and every day he would drag himself to front in order to practice, even if it was only for ten minutes a day, because cello is something you really need to do every day if possible or you Will feel the backsliding. some days he wouldn’t be able to make it and I’d play some scales as a favor to him, but we tried to minimize those days because those practice sessions would inevitably be full of me bitching about how boring and tedious learning a musical instrument is, much like how every time I play minecraft I bitch about how boring and tedious placing blocks is.

and after years of experimenting with fronting rooms and self-hypnosis and all sorts of other jedi mind tricks in hopes of Switching Better, that was the thing that actually made a difference for us - showing up On Purpose, Every Day, because he really wanted this thing that no one else was going to do. obviously every system is different and there are all sorts of other sneaky barriers (trust, safety, adhd, figuring out who you are enough to even know you want something bad enough to switch regularly for it) but for us? after figuring out those barriers, there was really only one thing left we could do, and that was Deliberate Practice. it’s almost maddening in its simplicity, the same way I look at paul arendt’s art progress (guy who has been doing art for fallen london for 15 years) and go “damn, the only way to get good at art is to actually do it, huh. F u c k.”

I try to rein it in because there’s a genuine issue in the plural community where we put our headmates on pedestals (we’re all just people at the end of the day! equally prone to flaw and failure) but I genuinely consider Lark to be more powerful than I am, for one fundamental reason: he’s tolerant of slow, incremental progress. he said “I want to learn the cello” and proceeded to learn the cello via 10-30 minutes of methodical, painstaking practice, every day. he said “I want to understand Minecraft” and proceeded to build dozens of houses, redstone contraptions, and farms, one block at a time, after watching one guide at a time. even chores, finances, and meditation: he does them one task at a time, one ledger entry at a time, one breath at a time, one moment at a time. he does all of this while dealing with the same system-wide mental and physical limitations - adhd, fatigue, sleep bullshit - with no promise that he’ll ever attain a certain level of mastery, and he gets really far despite it all because he just keeps showing up.

so now when I find myself wanting to learn something, but getting frustrated because it isn’t happening Right Away, I grit my teeth and go “Lark would do this One Step At A Time. I am going to take a leaf out of his book and try. to do this. One. Step. At A Time.” this was how I finally managed to learn how to play Limbo in Warframe after bouncing off of him multiple times - I went “okay, Lark would just take this one mission at a time. I am going to play this robotwink one mission at a time until he clicks, even if it feels like pulling out all of my teeth, dammit.” this was how I learned to sew - “I am going to do this one project at a time, one step at a time, one stitch at a time, like Lark would, and not think about how I’m going to ruin everything forever if I don’t immediately get it right oh my god.” maybe if I’m lucky this will be how I overcome gifted kid syndrome, by crying about how hard things are One Hard Thing At A Time

https://knifedog-machina.tumblr.com/post/813917948667445248
This is way past overdue, but I finally did it! I cleaned up my fictionkin symbol!
fictionkinfictionkindhell yeah symbolism!

through-lines:

A symbol consisting of an open book with one white page and one black page. An inverse two-tone circle is in the middle of the two pages.ALT
A symbol consisting of an open book with one transparent page and one black page. An inverse black and transparent circle is in the middle of the two pages.ALT

This is way past overdue, but I finally did it! I cleaned up my fictionkin symbol!

I originally posted my take on a symbol for fictionkind almost a year ago, and it ended up getting a lot more eyes on it than I was expecting! After putting it off for way too long, I was recently encouraged to make SVG versions of the symbol, which led to me finally getting off my rear and doing something about it.

I’ve provided two different versions of the symbol, which are available as both PNGs and SVGs. These files are all free to use! Repost, reuse, remix, whatever. If you’re fictionkin(d) and this symbol speaks to you, I encourage you to do whatever you want with the symbol.

You can download the images and read about the symbol on my Neocities!

And as ever: Don’t take this as The Official Fictionkin Symbol! I just wanted to try my hand at a symbol for fictionkind that was meaningful to me and my identity, and it’s sort of happenstance that others liked my idea as well. Please don’t feel obligated to use it if you don’t feel represented by it!

https://knifedog-machina.tumblr.com/post/813635851569479680