delovely

The American flag

The other day I saw a tattered flag hanging on a flag pole near the side of the road. The red and white stripes were shredded like strings of linguini, blowing in the wind.

This struck me as disrespectful – which is extremely silly. There are so many bigger fish to fry. The United States is falling apart, any promise it still entailed thrown in the garbage, MAGA completely trashing it. It’s the same old story of Nero playing the fiddle while Rome is burning.

Nevertheless, I still feel a reflex to care about the flag. I was taught as a child that if a flag is in shreds, it should not be hung. It should, quoting Title 4 of the United States Code, “be destroyed in a dignified way, preferably by burning."

Also in the United States Code:

• “The flag should never be used as wearing apparel”
• “It should not be embroidered on such articles as cushions or handkerchiefs and the like”
• “The flag should never be used for advertising purposes in any manner whatsoever”
• “The flag should never touch anything beneath it, such as the ground”

Just another example of basic decorum that is (literally) stepped on by this administration and late stage capitalist culture. Though nothing compared to the actual human rights violations affecting real people, it does feel symbolic.

Although recent events – and really, our whole blood-stained history, down to the “three-fifths compromise” and even long before that – have all made me thoroughly agnostic about the American experiment, I still find the flag hung in distress to be a powerful symbol.

And I was very relieved to see my neighbor hanging his flag upside down the day dump was elected.

Why do I still care? Clearly, I was brainwashed to feel a sense of patriotism since childhood. But, despite everything, and the horrors of our own history and current moment, I also feel a sort of sentimentality for what could have been.[1] In the words of Wendell Berry,

Denounce the government and embrace
the flag. Hope to live in that free
republic for which it stands.

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1. As much as there is to say on Thomas Jefferson’s hypocrisy, he got one thing right when he suggested that the Constitution be rewritten every nineteen years: “...no society can make a perpetual constitution, or even a perpetual law. The earth belongs always to the living generation. ... A law of limited duration is much more manageable than one which needs a repeal.” ↩︎

Pileated woodpecker

Now that I have seen you
what else is there, except
waiting to see you again?

A dead red leaf
hangs from a shedding tree
resembling you.

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I saw a pileated woodpecker today!

I’ve been wanting to see one for a long time now.

I don’t even remember how I spotted him. I heard some laughing in the distance, but this one was silent. I think I saw movement up in a tall tree, and I locked onto a big black body and a tiny glimmer of red.

He bobbed his head back and forth, the way I’ve seen in so many videos.

He swooped down onto a tall, dead tree, shimmying up and down the bark, flashing his wings as he gained footing. He poked a speckle of holes in one section, then flew onto a very large hole that he or one of his friends must have built. He hopped in, and poked his head out at me as I watched him through my binoculars, his beak pointy and his red head glowing in a small ray of sunlight that broke through the forest canopy.

The leaves were gloriously yellow, orange, red, and green against a sky that was so blue, almost indigo.

Walking through the forest, I suddenly made eye contact with the black cartoonish eyes of a winter wren, a tiny brown borb with a tail that sticks up. A hawk – I think an immature cooper’s hawk – dark brown with a striped tail, suddenly perched onto a branch above us, and looked around with sharp yellow eyes. I saw him later, as I progressed through the forest, stooped on a fallen branch, perhaps scanning the ground for mice or voles.

Now

standing inside the dried up lake that held so many memories.

Societal collapse

My favorite music video

Crows, guys in bondage, cute bodysuits, hot sci-fi shit, Cookiee Kawaii doodlin’ in her sketchbook. This shit’s like Whip It but a million times cooler. It’s like they threw out a couple ideas, and they were like, “Let’s do all of them.”

Italian American, my ass

I only learned recently that Columbus Day, an American holiday that gives us an excuse to have a long weekend in the middle of October honors colonizer Christopher Columbus, is apparently considered by some[1] to be “Italian American Day.”

This was a surprise to say the least, as it was never a thing in my or my family’s life. We have never claimed Columbus, and the fact that people do so actually makes me kinda ashamed of my heritage.

There are actually dumbasses out there who think Indigenous People’s Day is Anti-Italian,[2] and think Zohran Mamdani tweeting a pic of an ugly Columbus statue and saying “Take it down” is a literal hate crime against their people.[3] A lot of these people seem to be conservatives like Jack Shittarelli. I guess they’re trying to make Columbus day another ~War on Christmas.~

Columbus was a mass enslaver and torturer of indigenous people. He also wasn’t a fucking Italian American. It’s a fucking joke to pretend that an Italian navigator from the 15th century and actual descendants of the Italian diaspora have anything in common.

Most of our ancestors came to America because they were poor, exploited, and there was no hope or opportunity where they lived. So they came somewhere where they would be maybe a little less exploited.

My Italian American family had it really good for a while. Little did they know some of their descendants would eventually end up voting for a fascist, who supports dehumanizing people who are in a similar boat that we were in little over a hundred years ago.

Fellow Italian Americans, your ancestors at Ellis Island were more like today’s Hispanic Americans than they were like Columbus. MAGA only pretends to tolerate you; you will never be part of their “master race.” When the fascists come for you, don’t act surprised when they start talking about your “genetic criminality” and lump you in with Sacco and Vanzetti.

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1. How many? Not sure. But even one is too many. ↩︎

2. And also many Italian Americans who do not. ↩︎

3. Honey, we already have hate crimes! Stop looking for reasons to be persecuted, start trying to help people who actually are! ↩︎

Nostalgia

Sometimes, especially when I am sleep deprived, I get earworms – songs looping over and over in my head, like my brain is playing an mp3. It can be a blessing or a curse.

The other night, it was a blessing.

You can never go back to your childhood, but a song can make you feel like you are transported there.

The other night, when I was having trouble sleeping, this song started to play in my head in its entirety. I know it that well; it’s one of those songs my dad gave to me when I was a kid.[1]

When I got to the guitar solo, I realized that this fuzzy old reggae ballad has some of the most gorgeous and pleasing jazz guitar I have ever heard. Fun, wistful, and a bit melancholic all at the same time – nostalgic.[2]

Apparently I’m not the only person who is obsessed with this old record. Check out this cover by the Molly Miller Trio.

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1. Physically gave. An mp3 on a flash drive. ↩︎

2. It reminds me a bit of I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles, a jazz tune my dad loved to play on the guitar. ↩︎

Good people have lived on less

Lately I’ve been feeling nostalgic for my own website, even though it's never gone away.

I sometimes feel self conscious about blogging – like, what is my website even about?

But I’m suddenly realizing, blogging can be about spontaneity and just existing in space. Talking to some ghost I may never personally know.

So I wanted to share a thought I just had:

Good people have lived on less.

I'm not happy with the way things are. But many decent people in the past also weren’t. They tried to make life better and found joy where they could.

I hope this doesn’t sound like complacency or “it could be worse, so learn to be grateful instead.” Instead, I’m thinking of the other people who also survived, how they resisted, and what they found joy in, finding strength in numbers.

Book review: The Anthropocene Reviewed Title: The Anthropocene Reviewed Author: John Green ISBN: 9780525555216 Year published: 2021 Year I read: 2025 Rating: ♥︎ Love it Recommended for: Humans interested in humanity

This is one of those books that I’m gonna miss once I’m finished reading it.

The Anthropocene Reviewed is partly a highlight reel of human’s history on Earth, partly a memoir, and wholly a fascinating, engaging, and insightful read.

This was actually recommended to me by a friend a long time ago,[1] whose review is just lovely. (Thank you, and thank you for all the memories we’ve shared and for the gifts – with all my heart I hope you are well!!)

Quotes

It’s been my experience that almost everything easy to mock turns out to be interesting if you pay closer attention.

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1. What feels like “a long time ago” is only 4 years, and yet so much can happen in 4 years. Gah, looking back at that old post, so many interesting books came out in 2021. Or maybe it’s just that, because of quarantine, we had more time to pay attention to new books. ↩︎

Saving a Chromebook from eWaste

Several years ago, heading into my freshman year of college, I bought a Chromebook, despite the salesman at Staples practically begging me to buy a better laptop.

My HP Chromebook, 11 inches in width, and boasting 4GB of RAM and 16GB of storage, is a piece of shit. However, that is the reason I bought it. I was perfectly happy with the refurbished Thinkpad I had at home. I bought a Chromebook because I wanted something cheap, tiny and light enough to fit in my school bag, that could boot up quickly when I had to work on assignments, and wouldn’t be a tragedy in case rain soaked through my bag.

This Chromebook served me well during my entire time in college, and physically, remains in perfectly usable condition – though, software-wise, i’s at the end of its life. Google stopped supporting this model in 2022!

Now that I’m out of school, I haven’t really had any use for a tiny little laptop that only runs Chrome and Chrome Web Store apps. So since then, it’s just collected dust on a shelf.

Last year, when I switched from Windows to Linux, I wanted to convert my Chromebook, too.[1] Then, through my tireless web searching, I learned that Chromebooks have something called “Write Protect,” which makes this process way more complicated than it needs to be. Naively, I thought I could disable Write Protect by running some scripts in a terminal, but no. To disable it, you usually have to fuck with the motherboard, and I don’t do stuff like that...

So back to the shelf it went, for another year. And just as I was thinking, “I really need to give this thing away,” I stumbled on this video by Veronica Explains, where she showcases a project called Chrultrabook.[2]

Chrultrabook offers clear and thorough documentation on replacing ChromeOS, which made the process seem much more doable. I was a little wary when I learned that, for my device, I would have to open the motherboard and remove a screw, but some devices require you to bridge jumpers, so I’ll gladly take a screw over that.

I wasn’t worried about bricking this device, since it was already basically a brick. And the best part is, I didn’t! Following the Chrultrabook guide, I actually had success in replacing ChromeOS.

Part 2: What OS can I run on this shitty computer?

I was very eager to start testing and using my ex-Chromebook. For that purpose, I chose Bodhi Linux, given its modest system requirements.

Looking back, I don’t remember how I first heard about Bodhi Linux. It’s another Ubuntu/Debian-based Linux distro, but with a focus on simplicity. That is, it includes just the basics you need to get by, like a text editor and file manager, and lets you install the rest.

My first impression, running Bodhi for the first time, was that it was weird. The desktop environment, called Moksha, with its color scheme, shiny textures, and animations, feels anachronistic, screaming 2000s like it’s from the era of the original Xbox.

But you know what? It didn’t take long to grow on me. I find it charming and fun to use. And for all its bells and whistles, it still runs blazingly fast even on this crappy ex-Chromebook. There are more modern-looking themes available, but strangely I like the default green theme the best.

So far, my impression of Bodhi Linux is that it is fun and, true to its word, simple. Best of all, it “just works.”

So what can this ex-Chromebook do? Given its specs, not an astounding amount. I still have mostly been using it just to browse the internet (with Librewolf, not Chrome). So far, I’ve installed software I can use to get by, such as Abiword for word processing, CudaText for writing HTML, and Eleventy for coding my website.

And what more does a netbook really need to do? This will be super convenient to carry in my bag and take out to libraries and cafés. Plus, it’s cool to have something I can actually use, rather than just leaving a usable piece of hardware to rot.

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1. Yes, I’m aware ChromeOS is technically a Linux distro. It’s just... not a Linux distro I’d want to use, to say the least. I’m also aware of Crostini, but it didn’t work with my Chromebook, plus I’d rather just have a pure install of my preferred OS anyway. ↩︎

2. That stands for “Chromebook to Ultrabook.” ↩︎