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(writing this instead of studying! >.<)
I have always said and will continue to say that Koreans are the truest, most biblically accurate looksmaxxers. I used to think it was mainly a K-pop thing, because that was how I first came to interact with Korean (as in truly Korean, not K-drama, manhwa etc) social media. And not to say that K-pop doesn't hurt its fans' self-image, because it absolutely does--
** how K-pop damages young fans' self-image: k-pop is one of those things where you completely get immersed into the fandom(s) (at least, it was for me) -- and over time, a young and undeveloped brain that only consumes content from pale, thin, extremely conventionally attractive idols will begin to set this as the new norm for human appearance. and when you look in the mirror, chances are you'll look different, and even though that should be obvious and understandable, when all you see are a specific type of physical appearance you can't help but compare **
But even after not being a K-pop fan for years, I've been affected. Korea's unique circumstances have made it what it is today; it's a combination of the population's high homogenity and ---(I know I just shit on kpop but!!) see this snippet of an interview with RM, the leader of BTS:
"Q:The cult of youth, of perfection, of overachievement in K-pop… Are these Korean cultural traits?
A: In the West, people just don’t get it. Korea is a country that has been invaded, razed to the ground, torn in two. Just 70 years ago, there was nothing. We were getting aid from the IMF and the UN. But now, the whole world is looking at Korea. How is that possible? How did that happen? Well, because people try so fucking hard to better themselves....That’s how you get things done..." (Credit: El Pais)
The country's youth, its historical dependence on Western nations, its small area, its homogeneity, its struggle to fight its way up into what it is today - all this has contributed to a culture obsessed with "bettering yourself."
자기관리: "self-care". This includes diet + exercise, hair + body care, hair removal, posture, skincare, and surgical + nonsurgical cosmetic procedures (ex laser, botox).
And though not self-care, you need to analyze. Body type, facial feature type, and there are, I believe, three dimensions to the personal color of one's skin (warm/cool, dark/mid/light, high/mid/low saturation). And GOD forbid you dress or cut your hair or do your makeup in a way that doesn't suit one of your 'types'....
(and let's not even get into the prevalence of plastic surgery)
[a disclaimer!]
The thing is, I don't even know if this is necessarily something that affects others as deeply as it did me. The last time I really interacted with other Koreans my age was in 3rd grade, and since then the times I've been in Korea I mostly spend time with my family, who most definitely are not as bad as the looksmaxxers of social media
(though they are pretty fatphobic)
(and though my grandma lowk called me ugly the last time i saw her lol)
(which makes me think i only wasn't affected the previous times I went to Korea because I was too young to be judged with the looksmaxxing lens)
But back to the point - maybe Korea itself isn't THAT bad, but I've already poisoned my thoughts by continuously exposing myself to the appearance-obsessed content the korean side of my algorithm likes to push -- in that case maybe I should change the title to "how being korean [and chronically online] has poisoned my self worth..."...
In any case.
This hyper-analyzing, appearance-optimizing lens that I now have is a real pain, to say the least. I'm American, for fuck's sake. Land of (at least in name) diversity and acceptance. And yeah, I can manage to choke down a 'every human is beautiful, simply because they are human' kind of mindset if I try. And yes, if I REALLY try I can even extend it toward myself, by doing my best to imagine the face in the mirror as a depersonalized stranger and not the physical representation of me.
But you know what? It bleeds through. I get scared around people I've decided are more attractive than me (and I don't rank very high here). I feel subhuman when I'm not pretty enough. And yes, I think it's just mental illness, really, (and maybe even a little autism?) but whenever I try to trace the racing thoughts back to the source, they all lead to Korea.
(약간 요런 느낌이랄까... 뭔가 가벼운 느낌?)