diamond geezer

I spotted this poster on the platform at Theydon Bois station.



It's a message from the Mayor of London bigging up his achievements over the last ten years and thanking Londoners for the opportunity.

And fair enough, all three of London's Mayors have used TfL posters to promote themselves and what they've done, that's how the job works. But Theydon Bois is in Essex, not London, so nobody here gets to vote for him because he's not their Mayor. It wouldn't be so bad if the poster was merely informative but the wording implicitly assumes it's speaking to London residents.

These are just some of the things we've achieved together. Thank you.

I also spotted these posters on the platforms at Debden, Loughton and Buckhurst Hill, suggesting no thought had been given to the tone deaf action of placing them in Essex. It's not an uncommon issue, indeed last year I spotted a poster saying "You are Loved & Wanted in London" in the waiting room at Croxley station. If you are the minion in TfL's advertising team who decides where Mayoral propaganda posters go, perhaps read the content first before despatching them to a station outside London.

Anyway, let's look at the five things the Mayor has selected as highlights of his ten year tenure.

1) Air pollution cut by 54% in Central London thanks to ULEZ

You may be scratching your chin going "yeah right!", but all these data-driven claims are backed up in the smallprint at the very bottom of the poster. In this case it says...

"In 2024, compared to a scenario without the ULEZ, harmful NO2 concentrations were estimated to be 54% lower in Central London. Source London-wide ULEZ One Year Report."

That is a hefty healthy decrease.

Check: Did Sadiq do this?
The earliest Low Emission Zone (LEZ) was in fact introduced across London in 2008 by Ken Livingstone who slapped a £200 daily charge on the most-polluting lorries, buses and coaches. Ken also proposed extending charges to high-polluting cars and vans but Boris Johnson put that firmly on hold. Sadiq introduced the ULEZ in central London in April 2019, expanded it to inner London in October 2021 and then London-wide in August 2023. ULEZ is thus all Sadiq's doing and the data-span in the report does not extend before his tenure.

Check: What does the data actually say?
It says a heck of a lot across a 221 page report but the Mayor has chosen to focus on roadside NO2. Here he had four statistics to pick from...

In 2024, compared to a scenario without the ULEZ, harmful roadside NO2 concentrations are estimated to be:
   • 27% lower across the whole of London...
   • 54% lower in central London...
   • 29% lower in inner London...
   • 24% lower in outer London...
...than they would have been without the ULEZ and its expansions.

Naturally he picked the best one for the poster (54% rather than mid-twenties), but these are still impressive clean-ups across the capital. Politically ULEZ was a very bold move with many electoral downsides, boiling over only when outer London was brought into the mix in 2023, but Sadiq still managed to get re-elected in 2024 so I'm not surprised he's crowing about cleaner air as his proudest achievement.

2) 120 million free state primary school meals delivered

Check: Did Sadiq do this?
Introduced September 2023, so yes.

Check: What does the data actually say?
The smallprint is lengthy here because Sadiq doesn't know how many meals he's funded, he's had to estimate. Pupil numbers come from the Department of Education's school census and are adjusted for uptake of meals (which in the first year was 85%). Also between September 2023 and May 2026 no pupil could have had more than 520 free lunches, and then you multiply all that together. The Mayor funds school meals at £3 a time, so this sounds like a commitment that's cost upwards of £360m.

3) Boosted public transport, including the Night Tube, Elizabeth line, Hopper fare and Superloop bus network

Check: Did Sadiq do this?
Night Tube: Boris did all the legwork in establishing the Night Tube but couldn't get it over the line before his tenure ended due to disputes with the rail unions. With that settled the start date then was then set three months into Sadiq's tenure - so none of the effort, all of the glory.
Elizabeth line: Likewise Crossrail was a project pushed by previous Mayors. Ken was in charge when Gordon Brown agreed funding, Boris was a year into the role when construction began and a few weeks from departure when he named it after Her Majesty. Sadiq merely picked up a project that was fully underway and kept very quiet about how incredibly late it would be delivered. However, given he was in charge for the six years before it finally opened he's perfectly entitled to be very proud of it.
Hopper fare: A 1-hour London bus ticket was originally a Lib Dem policy - it appeared in Brian Paddick's 2012 Mayoral manifesto and was long pushed by Assembly member Caroline Pidgeon. But they never had any power so Sadiq stole the policy and implemented it as his own in his very first year. As Caroline said at the time, "imitation sometimes is the greatest form of flattery".
Superloop: This is all Sadiq's. Plans for ten branded express routes emerged out of the blue in March 2023 and we now have twelve, with four more in the works. However a network of orbital routes has been on the drawing board since Boris Johnson's first Mayoral election, just never acted upon, so I suspect it's been on TfL's wishlist for longer than Sadiq lets on.

4) Increased council housebuilding to its highest level since the 1970s

Check: What does the data actually say?
We need the smallprint here.

Council housing starts reached a peak of 8190 in 2022/23, higher than any number recorded since the 1970s. Source MHCLG Affordable House Supply statistics, compared with historical MHCLG and DoE statistical publications.

There are 3.8 million homes in London so I'm sorry but starting 8190 new council houses in one year feels like a pitifully small assault on the capital's housing crisis. It's the equivalent of 250 homes in every borough, so not really all that much. But these are just council homes, not necessarily affordable homes or homes for social rent because definition is all important here. What really concerns me is that the peak was in 2022/23 so numbers must have been in retreat since. Indeed I checked more recent MHCLG data and it says

4522 starts on site in London in 2024-25, a 51% increase compared to the previous year but considerably lower than the 26,386 starts on site in the region reported in 2022-23.

This is affordable housing, not just council housing, and yet 4522 is way below the 8190 total Sadiq achieved two years previously. It's also less than 20% of the 26,386 starts achieved in 2022-23 suggesting something has gone very (very) wrong with the provision of affordable housing in London. Sadiq does appear to have cherry-picked a single outdated claim for his poster and shouldn't perhaps be boasting about his most recent achievements on housing.

5) Lowest homicide rate since records began

Check: What does the data actually say?
Met Police homicide data is available online in a delightfully-named Homicide Dashboard, and is also fairly straightforward to tot up from annual murder counts. In 2025 the total across Greater London was 97, likely much lower than a lot of people assume whilst simultaneously still much too high. However it's only the lowest total since 2014, when 95 people were killed, so even if we take "since records began" as referring to a change of methodology in 2016 it looks a bit naughty.

However what Sadiq's actually claiming is the 'lowest homicide rate', not the lowest homicide total, and if you take into account population size he is indeed correct. London's murder rate is officially 1.1 per 100,000 people, lower than New York (2.8), Toronto (1.6) and Milan (1.6). It was 2.7 in London in 1997 so that's really quite a decrease.



Check: Did Sadiq do this?
You can't really tell with murders, each is a unique incident based on many factors. However the Mayor points towards his Violence Reduction Unit (VRU) "which has delivered more than 550,000 targeted interventions to prevent young people being drawn into gangs and violence", also the introduction of facial recognition technology. He's particularly proud that the number of homicides of young people in London is now a third of the total in 2019 when the VRU was set up.

Returning to the poster, there's a particularly optimistic exhortation in the bottom right hand corner to search for MAYOR OF LONDON 10 YEARS, like anyone on a station platform is ever going to do that. Searches lead to a bespoke webpage london.gov.uk/10-years-of-progress where even more achievements are set out. The Mayor's team have even gone to the effort of making a 3 minute YouTube video in which Sadiq walks round a chilly-looking Greenwich Park and showcases his extensive record. It's well made but has been up for a month and thus far only has 796 views, which just goes to show London's population aren't really interested.

However it is impressive that London's now had the same Mayor for ten years, succeeding in three successive elections... and all this self-promotion suggests Sadiq might just be positioning himself for a fourth term in 2028. If it genuinely is the best job in the world, why would you want to give it up?

Yesterday I walked from Theydon Bois to Epping.



There are several pleasant ways to do this, but on this occasion I chose a three-mile dogleg via Epping Forest rather than two miles direct across the fields. I blogged these walks in 2009 and 2015 respectively, adequately at the time, so best not repeat myself. But here are several things I noted along the way in 2026 (and you can take "oh this is really nice" as read).



Theydon Bois - a quick summary
Rare example of a village with its own tube station, in this case on the Central line. The Underground's fifth least-used station, likely because the local population is barely 4000. Famously the only place on the tube without any street lights. The name rhymes with 'Boys' (whenever I blog about Theydon Bois this is generally the only thing people want to comment about). Used to have four pubs but The Railway Arms and Sixteen String Jack closed in 2011 and 2016 respectively and are now flats. A really nice place to live. The most famous resident is West Ham's boss David Sullivan who lives in a £15m mansion up the far end (and is likely very depressed this morning).



Best shop in the village?
This is hard to judge on a Sunday but contenders include Greens the Butchers, what used to be Premier Valet Services and the proudly independent Watch Service Centre. The busiest is almost certainly the Tesco Express by the Queen Victoria. A good spread of restaurants exists for those who don't fancy schlepping into Loughton. My favourite is definitely the Theydon Bois Bakery, a proper baked-on-the-premises treasure with sunburst windows, stripy awning and a giant gingerbread man standing in the window. Alas on this occasion the front display of loaves and sticky cakes was dark and the morning crowd were all round the corner gossiping outside the Brick Lane Bagel Co, which I fear will one day be the last dough-house standing.



What's the big news locally?
A plan to build on the Green Belt has locals up in arms, so much so that it gets five separate mentions in the latest village newsletter. Redrow Homes have applied to build 150 homes in two fields to the east of the railway line, whereas present housing is only to the west. Only government changes to the planning regime could override the existing Metropolitan Green Belt designation, but every available argument is being thrown at the plans in an attempt to quash them dead. Arguably this agricultural land should be preserved for future generations but also arguably land immediately adjacent to a tube station is a no-brainer for development. Indeed an aerial shot in the parish council's latest submission is supposed to show the downsides, but I couldn't help noticing that the existing village swallowed up considerably more fields, thus NIMBY residents are essentially arguing against the reason they were able to live here in the first place.



How many forest gates are there?
I've long been fascinated by the numbered signs seemingly placed at every entrance to Epping Forest, having found several during lockdown around Whipps Cross and Wanstead Flats. This one's at Genesis Slade car park, specifically number 32, Genesis Slade being the deep rivulet that flows (in damper times) from the Forest into Theydon Bois. I was thus thrilled to discover that Derek Seume has been diligently cataloguing every gate and sharing his discoveries a) on a Google map b) in a spreadsheet c) on the Instagram account @eppingforestgates. I now know that Gate 1 is at Rye Hill, the northernmost of all (just outside Harlow), while Gate 197 is at the southern tip at Rabbits Road/Manor Park Triangle. Additional gates have been added since the original designation, the highest of which is believed to be Gate 217 (Staples Road), but should you ever discover the location of gates 13, 30, 41 or 74 do please let Derek know.



Can you hear the M25?
No, it's brilliant, it's entirely inaudible even as you're crossing it. That's because, famously, when M25 engineers reached Bell Common they dug a cut and cover tunnel and reinstated a cricket pitch on the top of it. The full tunnel is 470m long, marked only by a slim gap in the Forest, and Epping Foresters Cricket Club play centrally enough that no racket from either end intrudes. I should have arrived mid-match but alas Sunday's game against Hatfield Heath was cancelled. Instead I was intrigued by the equipment at the nets being sponsored by Cracking Safes, a company founded by a retired police officer which sells un-nickable cabinets to rich folk with valuables they want to keep. It says a lot for the local population that they might indeed want to buy a premium safe including "watch winders" to keep their prestige wristwear ticking over, even in storage. Less silly mid-off, more deep extra cover.



Why does this hotel look familiar?
It's The Bell at Epping and it was in the news for weeks last summer as the site of serious anti-immigrant opposition. Formerly a coaching inn and then a hotel, The Bell was first used to house migrants in May 2020 with total numbers topping out at 138. The flashpoint arrived after one resident was arrested for sexual offences in the town, at which point the angry brigade turned up and incited further offences of their own. Epping Forest council lost their battle against the High Court two months ago and all was quiet outside yesterday, indeed I initially assumed the place was empty. But security guards were watching me as I peered through the metal railings, these liberally plastered with lots of little flag stickers (as indeed is every other bit of public infrastructure hereabouts). Take it as read that every lamppost in Epping appears to be flying at least one St George's flag, and perhaps a Sports Direct Union Jack too.



When is TG Jones closing?
No specific date has yet been given but last week the former WH Smith on Epping High Street was suddenly covered with big yellow 'Store Closing Down' and 'Everything Must Go' notices. I ventured inside to find reductions on everything from bestsellers to Post-its and boxfiles to fibretips. This year's Guinness Book of Records (rrp £22) was £6, now £4.80. A box of 30 Christmas cards was £1, now an incredible 70p. It must be gutting for staff watching unfillable gaps appearing on the shelves, and will be gutting for Epping residents trying to buy newspapers and magazines forthwith. But I also noted the store nextdoor, the Epping Mini Market, whose frontage advertises DRINKS SWEETS VAPES SNACKS because that's all most people really want to consume these days.



How bad are the buses out here?
It says a lot that the bus stops in the high street are served by 18 different routes but only six of them run more than twice a day and only three of them bother on Sundays. Admittedly the Central line is much more frequent but if you want somewhere off-tube your options are rather more limited. Local company Central Connect don't do useful overview maps either, sorry. Above is the splendid vehicle operating on route 339 which connects to the Epping Ongar Railway, generally summer weekends only. I'd seen a different 339 at Leytonstone earlier in the day, 10 miles distant, which got me wondering which Home Counties bus route is closest to a TfL route with an identical number. I'd like to suggest it might be Central Connect route 20 [Harlow ↔ Ongar] which here in Epping is just 2½ miles from TfL route 20 [Walthamstow ↔ Debden], unless of course you know different.

Some things I did yesterday, in non-chronological order.

🎪 I attended Cheam Charter Fair. This happens every May and has done since 1259, allegedly. I missed the mayoral procession where everyone dresses up but Park Road was still amok with folk in period costume making royal progress along the row of stalls. This is the bishop and his entourage stopping by the Brownies and offering to take some group selfies. A much better photograph would have been King Bobby VIII sat on a wall eating an ice cream cornet but I didn't risk that.



I've written about Cheam Charter Fair before so I won't go into similar detail... not that I expect you'll go back and read that so perhaps I should mention the splat-a-rat, the face-painting, the care home offering free notepads nobody was taking, the ubiquitous pot plants, the handicrafts and the extraordinary good value at the Mother's Union cake stall. It's not something worth traipsing across London for but as a beacon of annual community loveliness Cheam Charter Fair is hard to beat.

⚽ I shared a train with several Chelsea supporters, all Wembley-bound for the Cup Final, all from the team's heartland in Surrey, all in replica kit, all well-behaved, all just a little bit better groomed than supporters of most teams, of all ages from 8 to 50 and all more cheerful than they would be on the way home.

👯 I failed to board a DLR train because the rear carriage was packed with provincial daytrippers in fancy dress heading to the Abba Arena. I see a lot of this being local - a bevy of buxom folk in beads and sequins, also cowboy hats in ill-advised colours, often more Mamma Mia than proper '70s - but nothing quite prepares you for the spangled crush if you're anywhere near Pudding Mill Lane just before a show starts or just after it turns out.



🛸 I went inside Ewell library at Bourne Hall, the amazing circular building that looks like aliens have landed. Even their refreshment zone is called the Flying Saucer Cafe. I didn't go upstairs and see the museum again but that is the best reason to visit (unless you're local and have a Richard Osman to return). Stereotypical readers may like to know that a Collectables Transport Fair is being held on Saturday 13 June (a week before the Bourne Hall Summer Festival).

🎨 I noted several upcoming artistic events in the Brentwood area:
» Brentwood Arts Cinema Club present Distant Voices Still Lives, by Terence Davies, tonight at 7.30pm in the Friends Meeting House on Hutton Road
» Brentwood Musical Theatre Society are performing Evita all next week at Brentwood Theatre
» Brentwood Community Tabletop Gaming Day (Bardscon) takes place on 14th June at Bardswell Social Club
» Shenfield Operatic Society present an evening of Jazz and Cocktails at Blackmore Village Hall on 3rd/4th July
» Hutton & Shenfield Choral Society are performing Elgar's The Kingdom in Chelmsford Cathedral on 11th July

🐎 I passed a giant steaming branding iron at Waterloo station. It was promoting a TV streaming service I don't have, more specifically a new mini-series I wouldn't watch even if I did.



🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 I passed a few red-blooded folk on their way to the Tommy Robinson march, one barging through and fizzing with anger, also a poppy dangling from his rucksack, also a St George's flag hoisted on a four foot pole that could conceivably double up as an offensive weapon. Another man had a red Make England Great Again cap (Mega rather than Maga) and was carrying a much larger England flag with the word ENGLAND written on it just to make a point. And I thought to myself Keir Starmer may be weak and ineffective but at least he's not doing anything as destructive as this lot and their ilk will do when their favoured nationalist populist government finally gets voted in by voters seeking change "because someone else deserves a chance", maybe as soon as three years time, and then I sighed and reminded myself it hasn't happened yet.

🏆 At Cheam Charter Fair I was drawn to the tombola organised by St Raphael's Hospice and the extraordinary array of not-quite-valuable prizes laid out across their stall. Smellies, something bottled, a DVD of some kind, some sort of knitted thing... mostly giftwrapped in cellophane with ribbons. The offer was three tickets for a pound, and a prize if any of the tickets you drew ended in 0 or 5. I didn't calculate the odds in advance but I was tempted to have a go because it was all in a good cause. First ticket 375, hurrah a prize! Second ticket 252, alas no. Third ticket 125, hurrah another prize! And blimey, what prizes.



375 was a porcelain bowl with a floral motif, about four inches square, and crammed full of something. I couldn't tell precisely what because of the way the cellophane was crinkled but I initially thought pot pourri. In fact no it was a bowl of wrapped toffees, 18 in total, and could have been more had the bottom of the bowl not been deviously covered with crumpled cardboard. As for 125 this turned out to be a pink cross-stitched pocket containing a) some paper tissues b) an apple lip balm. I'm in awe of the effort some volunteer put in to create this - the needlework is impeccable - only for it to be won by some bloke who only uses cotton hankies and never uses lip balm. I do at least know someone who might appreciate it.

I have also calculated the odds since and winning two prizes wasn't quite as unlikely as I'd assumed it was.

0 prizes - 51%
1 prize  - 38%
2 prizes - 10%
3 prizes -   1%

🚆 The zones covered by Oyster and Contactless have got so complicated that they now have to display this banner outside Shenfield station. I've split it for legibility.



Another way to phrase it would have been 'if you're travelling towards Liverpool Street you can tap with anything, otherwise no Oyster, also Contactless isn't valid beyond Witham or on the Southminster branch'. But I guess their version is at least crystal clear. Also there's still an announcement on purple trains approaching Shenfield saying Oyster and contactless aren't valid beyond here so leave the train, go downstairs and tap out, and perhaps someone should get round to changing that.

🎵 I enjoyed watching Eurovision with lots of memorable candidates for the top song all scoring highly, even if we did come very last, and the inevitable existential crisis was thankfully dodged for another year. Bangaranga!

This week I went to Kent House station.
And I have more questions.
Mainly one big one.

Why is it called Kent House?



It's got to be something to do with the county of Kent and a house, hasn't it?

For context, Kent House is on the railway line between Victoria and Bromley South. The stations to either side are Penge East and Beckenham Junction. It opened in 1884. It's not in Kent although it used to be. And much of this is of importance.



Where was the Kent boundary?
For centuries the counties of Surrey and Kent covered everything we now know as South London. The boundary ran south from the Thames near New Cross to a point just east of East Grinstead. In this particular area Penge was on the Surrey side and Beckenham on the Kent side (although to be upfront Penge was an administrative oddity originally classified as an exclave of Battersea and sorry, I don't have time to go into that again). This meant the Kent boundary ran really close to what's now Kent House station, indeed passed just 30m from the far end of the platforms, so something very Kenty is going on here.

When was the Kent boundary?
Yes the important bit is when. Up until 1869 the historic Surrey/Kent boundary was the historic one. In 1889 the County of London was formed and swallowed the north of Surrey, including Penge, so the local boundary was now London/Kent. Then in 1900 Penge got the chance to shift its allegiance, and wanted to rejoin Surrey but actually ended up part of Kent, hence there was no longer a boundary here. Penge stayed part of Kent until 1965 when the London borough of Bromley took over and the name Kent House thus became an anachronism. What's crucial is that Kent House station opened in 1884 when this was Kent and the adjacent boundary was with Surrey.



Is this the Kent House?
I've long thought this glorious building alongside the station might be the Kent House. It has ornate plaster twiddles, glass whorls and tiled twirls, as befits a structure of fine stature, also it appears to be older than anything else round here. But it's not a listed building despite looking like it ought to be, also it's not on the main road where you'd expect a nominal building to be, also why do the initials 'TW' appear on the facade? More importantly the date on the front of the building is 1887 which is three years after the station opened so can't be the reason for the original name. Ah well.

What's going on with the cafe?
Until the end of last year a smart little cafe called Kent House Coffee and Flowers operated out of here. The words along the window read BEER WINE COFFEE CAKE FLOWERS GELATO, i.e. essentially trying to appeal to everyone. But they closed and the place is now being fitted out by a new operation who've been busy replacing the previous black and white colour scheme with something a lot more leaf green. This fresh outfit are called At Kent House, an offshoot of Home & Happiness on Penge High Street, and this time the words in the window are COFFEE BRUNCH SMALL PLATES HOMEWARE GIFTS & MORE. It all sounds somewhat Amandaland and is opening later in the spring, having currently reached the "yes you can come in and have a look but you'll have to take your shoes off" stage of redecoration.

So what was the actual Kent House?
It was a very old house, the name having first been recorded in the year 1240. For centuries there really was nothing much else around here other than the Surrey/Kent boundary, so Kent House would indeed have been the first Kentish location encountered if approaching from the west. In 1778 historian Edward Hasted wrote...

"KENT-HOUSE is situated on the very edge of this county, towards Surry, and seems to be so called either from it’s having been once the outer bounds of this county, or from having been formerly the first house on the entrance into this parish within this county, from that of Surry. It was for some generations in the possession of the family of Lethieullier; the first of whom was Sir John Le Thieullier a Hamburgh merchant, who had raised himself by his industry in trade, and settled in this parish."

The Angersteins took over shortly after that, rich merchants from Charlton, and in 1806 it became a 178 acre farm called Kent House Farm. A contemporary illustration shows it looking rather more like a manor house than a farmhouse, with tall chimneys and a nice little urn out front. Later it became a nursing home and then the Kent House Farm Hotel, all this while the surrounding land was sold off for housing. But Kent House station opened before suburban encroachment had covered the fields, hence was the only local thing it made sense to name the station after.



How far from Kent House station was Kent House?
About half a mile to the north, reached (unsurprisingly) up Kent House Road. The houses start off enticingly Victorian, then get sturdily but appealingly interwar. Along the way is the Kent House Tavern (alas closed 2013, since unsympathetically converted into housing) and also a run of delightfully throwback shops including an upholsterer, a carpet fitter and ye olde drycleaners. As suburbia goes it's at the very appealing end of not quite posh. However the closest station to the site of Kent House is actually New Beckenham, because logic and station naming don't always go together.



Does Kent House still exist?
Alas no. The hotel was sold for housing, being a fairly spacious plot, and replaced by a run of much more modern houses and a cul-de-sac. That's Beckett Walk, a name I can find no local connection for, a brief dogleg lined by maisonettes and a couple of proper houses. I can't find a date but looking at them I'd say 1970s, give or take. Here I found fresh-mown verges, almost-mature trees and a gentleman sat reading the paper on a chair in his front garden, most surprised at being disturbed. It's a shame that absolutely nothing of Kent House lingers on, save in the name of a station no longer in Kent, but if you rewind back to 1884 it does at least make a bit more sense.

Wes Streeting wrote an autobiography a few years ago, which given recent events may turn out to have been somewhat premature. In it he recounts his turbulent childhood in Tower Hamlets and subsequent political awakening, with rather more on the former than the latter. Wes's Dad was from a longstanding Bow family based just off Roman Road, while his Mum spent her earliest weeks in Holloway Prison before her family moved to Stepney Green. I nipped up to 46 Armagh Road where his paternal side originated but Tower Hamlets council demolished those terraces 50 years ago so no luck there.



However the book contains enough detail to identify several homes Wes lived in locally, all of which are still standing, so I set off on what can best be described as a Wes Streeting orienteering exercise. Starting here.

Born: Mile End Hospital, 21st January 1983



This former workhouse infirmary lurks round the back of Queen Mary University up Bancroft Road. Wesley Paul William Streeting arrived on a Friday lunchtime after a lengthy labour, the relationship between his parents already teetering. The name Wesley came from Wesley Jordache, a character in the 1976 American mini series Rich Man Poor Man. As for his middle names Paul was Mum's brother (who'd died aged six while walking alone to the shops in Brockley) and William was the name of both of Wes's grandfathers, two gentlemen very much chalk and cheese.

Taken first to: 18 Walter Besant House, Bancroft Road, Mile End



First stop after ten days in maternity was Wes's Dad's home, 200 yards up Bancroft Road. The Streetings had lived here since the demolition of Armagh Road in 1976, a two-bed maisonette on the third and fourth floors of a typical Tower Hamlets block. In those days it was possible to nip upstairs without accessing a security gate. Today the family nextdoor display a Palestinian flag on their balcony, a bit further along is the cross of St George and the residents of number 18 have simply hung a 'Home' roundel on their replacement PVC door. This particular granddad Bill was a smartly suited man who volunteered with the Scouts and also a strong supporter of Margaret Thatcher, even if he never bought his council house.

Went home to: 47 Crofts Street, Wapping



This was the home of Wes's other grandparents and the first place Wes and his Mum made their home. Wes slept in a drawer from the dresser for the first few days. This is borderline Wapping, at the far western end near St Katharine Dock and the former Royal Mint. It's also a proper redbrick council house, not a stacked flat, on a small characterful estate of little alleyways, green spaces and private parking lots. It even still has the off-red Wapping Neighbourhood signs the Liberal Democrats introduced in the late 1980s, admittedly now very faded but I don't think I've seen a full set like this anywhere else.

Nanny Libby was very much the Labour supporter, a campaigner for social justice and a foundational political influence. Grandad Bill on the other hand was an East End rogue who knew the Krays and undertook a number of armed robberies while wearing a rubber mask and wielding a shotgun. He spent a lot of time in prison, so much so that Wes often didn't see him for a year, and wasn't averse to stealing a car just to drive the family to the seaside. Nan had only been to prison once but shared a cell with Christine Keeler and the two remained friends afterwards. If Wes's life story ever makes it to a biopic, there'd be plenty of meat to it.

First proper home: 22 Clichy House, Stepney Way



When Wes's parents decided to make a go of their relationship they wangled a council maisonette in Stepney. It's so close to the Royal London Hospital that you can see the blue tower and helipad at the end of the road, not that either were there in the 1980s. Clichy House is a very typical Tower Hamlets block - 24 flats with zero individuality, a row of lockups out front and either a tiny garden or a teensier balcony depending on which floor you're on. All the blocks round here were given names with a French theme. Alas the family soon ended up in debt and the couple split, so Wes grew up here with a single mother eking out a living as a silver service waitress, or whatever was going. Only once did armed police raid the flat looking for Wes's grandfather - an indignity no previous Prime Minister has suffered.

Off to school: Old Church Nursery School, Stepney
Off to school: St Peter's C of E Junior School, Wapping



Wes's first school was a small four-classroom affair close to St Dunstan's church and Stepney City Farm. It's well-fenced these days, substantially shielded by a massive boxy academy and accessed down an odd leftover of a cobbled street. Wes loved dressing up and reading Ladybird books, and hated not being able to buy sweets on the way home because his family was skint. For primary school Wes hoped to go the the local church school but, scuppered by not actually being Roman Catholic, ended up trotting down to St Peter's in Wapping instead. Here he was a bit of a swot, enjoyed acting, met his best friend Luke and was pushed by headteacher Mrs Dodd to get a place at Westminster City for his secondary education. The school is still used as a polling station and it may encourage Wes to hear that St Katharine's & Wapping was the only ward in Tower Hamlets to return two Labour councillors last week.

Second proper home: 23 Jamaica Street, Stepney



In 1994 the Streetings were shifted to yet another maisonette in yet another council block, this time a massive one. At least it was on the ground floor so had a garden, not that you can do much in five metres by three, and also central heating so very much a step up. Council flats were always let empty in those days so a lot of time was spent adding carpets, wallpaper and appliances, also the electricity meter couldn't be fiddled so power cuts were now a regular issue. These days you can't get round the back without a keyfob, the abandoned Ford Transit outside is 'Council Aware', and basically don't head to mid-Stepney if you appreciate good architecture.

Meanwhile at Dad's house: 5 Digby Gardens, Dagenham



Wes's parents splitting meant he often spent the weekend with his Dad in Dagenham. Finally a proper two-bed house not owned by the council, although this being the Becontree estate it had been once. Finally a proper garden, finally a cul-de-sac he could play out in, and finally a chance to go to Sunday School like the good little boy he was. Around this time he got another brother, indeed he has five and a sister as a byproduct of several step-parents over the years. It's a bit scrappy up Digby Gardens today, not helped by the pebbledash nor the fact that number 5 has a skip outside with several doors dumped in it. Also the front door was open so I can say I've seen the stairs Wes climbed on Saturday evenings and that's no idle boast.

And then a pub: The Crown, Roneo Corner, Romford



Dad Mark eventually quit his job as a shipping clerk to train as a publican with the Scottish & Newcastle, ending up running the big pub on Roneo Corner in Romford. After various housing issues Wes ended up living here full-time in one of the four upstairs bedrooms, with leftover Thunderbirds wallpaper and syrupy Coca Cola on tap. It meant a protracted commute to school but it was better than following Mum to Epping, Archway and ultimately Preston, also it was possible to snaffle profiteroles from the pub kitchen without ever getting caught. These days the pub doesn't bother opening until 3.30pm on weekdays and also has a Quality Seafood cabin out back, as befits a community that's fled from the East End.

Wes's biography doesn't give the location of his final teenage home in Upminster Bridge, and after that it's all working in McDonald's (Romford), going to university (Selwyn Cambridge) and entering politics (via the NUS and Redbridge council). But I'd seen enough on my safari to realise that this was one hell of a nomadic dysfunctional childhood, held together only by family members doing their best. By following him from Mile End to Stepney, Wapping and Dagenham, in council houses recent Prime Ministers would never have tolerated, the fact he ended up supporting Labour was never really in doubt. It's not yet clear if Wes has shot his bolt too early, or indeed has all the support he says he does, but if he does end up in Number 10 I really can't work out which of these very minor homes is best deserving of the blue plaque.

15000000: Sometime this evening, probably around eight o'clock, diamond geezer will receive its fifteen millionth visitor. More accurately it'll be the fifteen millionth time that an archaic stats package has registered a unique visit, which very much isn't the same thing, but I think still very much worth celebrating.

Fifteen million visits is an astonishing total - the equivalent of everyone in the Netherlands reading my blog once. But viewed another way it's not much - on average three busy tube trains of readers a day.

What I do know is that my audience has been coming faster.
The first million took five and a half years.
The last million's taken eleven months.

0Sept 2002        1000000    April 2008    5½ years 2000000Jan 20112¾ years 3000000Oct 20121¾ years 4000000Apr 201418 months 5000000Aug 201517 months 6000000Dec 201615 months 7000000Feb 201814 months 8000000Apr 201914 months 9000000Jun 202014 months 10000000Jul 202114 months 11000000Aug 202213 months 12000000Aug 202312 months 13000000Jul 202411 months 14000000Jun 202510 months 15000000May 202611 months
I can also do that as a graph.



For the first decade and a half the graph was a curve because my readership was (gradually) growing, with the fastest spurt in the pre-Olympic heyday of 2011/2012. But since 2018 it's become much more of a straight line because my readership's levelled out, with each successive million taking about approximately one year.

That's good because it means I'm not haemorrhaging readers, but also bad because I'm no longer gaining a wider audience like I used to. What I seem to have is a long-standing core readership, cheers, with a few new regulars who somehow stumble here balanced by others drifting away. In a resolutely post-blog era it could be a lot worse.

However the jump from 14 million to 15 million is the first time a million's taken longer to reach than the million before. What's more my stats package suggests a number of these so-called visitors have been 'bad bots', zapping in to crawl my content and digest it elsewhere. It's less than 5% of the total but enough that the 15 million milestone would otherwise have been reached in June, not May. It all suggests that the number of humans reading this blog is alas going down, indeed diamond geezer may have peaked.

Each time one of these millionaire milestones rolls by I like to look back and analyse which sites my readers have arrived from. For the first ten years this meant a league table of top linking blogs, ordered by volume of visitors clicking here from there. This used to be hugely important back in the era when blogs thrived solely because other blogs linked to them, but times change.

Blogs no longer have a fraction of the traction they enjoyed a decade ago now that social media is king, because the ability to drive traffic has shifted away from those who generate their own content towards those who merely digest the content of others. I've thus had to broaden this category to all forms of social media including Twitter, Facebook etc.

Here then is the latest update of my Top 10 linkers across the last 24 years, i.e. 2002-2026.

  1) Twitter
  2) Reddit
  3) Ian Visits
  4) Hacker News
  5) Facebook
  6) Londonist
  7) London Reconnections
  8) Girl with a one track mind
  9) Feedly
10) Random acts of reality

Twitter is top by miles with over 10% of all blog referrals. And that's old-school Twitter, not Elon Musk's X variant which has become tumbleweed, thus my @diamondgzrblog account now generates minimal interaction. Reddit is second with 5% of referrals, none of it my doing, instead courtesy of kindly souls who suggest I've written something interesting and very occasionally a lot of people turn up. They used to turn up more often before most of London's tube geeks were siphoned off into a minor subreddit, so its second place is again mostly a reflection of past supernovae.

The first proper blog appears at number 3, the inimitable Ian Visits who's kindly nudged visitors my way for well over ten years, especially as part of his Friday rail news round-up. Hacker News are an American aggregator portal who've only sent people here a dozen times but in such huge numbers that they're fourth. Facebook is a mystery because I'm not on there but people must still be posting links to the blog on a fairly regular basis. The rest of the top 10 includes two London-based behemoths, two blogs that went quiet years ago and Feedly, an RSS portal whose readers come here (I suspect) mainly to read the comments.

n.b. The next ten linkers include the blogs London Daily Photo, Blue Witch, 853, Aslef Shrugged, and Tired of London Tired of Life, all bar one of which are either long defunct or on hiatus.

My five most clicked posts since 10 million
1) The History Trees in the Olympic Park (May 2022)
2) Where is London's most central sheep? (Jan 2025)
3) Asbestosis killed my grandfather (Oct 2025)
4) Strange places to see London's Roman wall (Nov 2025)
5) Television is 100 years old today (Jan 2026)

Before you get the wrong idea I should say the vast majority of my fifteen million readers didn't click in from anywhere, they rely on force of habit. I've hit this milestone by being reliable rather than clickable, because there'll almost certainly be a new post to read every morning which hopefully you'll want to read. As far as I can tell at least 90% of you currently arrive off your own bat, not because something elsewhere directed you here... although that's probably how you ended up at diamond geezer in the first place.

Also I know that a lot of you read the blog without actually visiting it, courtesy of my RSS feed, which makes a mockery of attempting to count visitor numbers anyway. I probably passed fifteen million several months ago, maybe even years back, but didn't realise.

So I don't mind where my fifteen million came from, nor that I can't count you all, I'm just well chuffed that you still bother turning up. Thanks to all of you, and here's to millions more...

Update: the 15 millionth visitor arrived at 9.06pm breezing in via Sky Broadband from somewhere in London, no referrer, just a traditional one-off diamond geezer reader, cheers!

Today's maths comes to you courtesy of Wembley Master Chef, 44 Harrow Rd, HA9 6PG.
This Pizza Deal poster appears in the window.



That's good value, isn't it?
Well let's check...

First let's scale that down to the cost of one pizza, not two.

   Diameter    Price 7 inch£3.75 9 inch£4.95 12 inch£6.95 15 inch£8.45
We can try to find the best value pizza by calculating price per inch.

   Diameter    Price p per inch 7 inch£3.7554p 9 inch£4.9555p 12 inch£6.9558p 15 inch£8.4556p
This suggests the 7 inch pizza is the best value at 54p per inch.
But they're all remarkably close, each just over 50p per inch.
It almost looks like this is how they determined the prices.

But pizzas aren't linear, it's the area that increases.
Please ignore everything in the previous table, it's mathematical rubbish.

We could try to estimate the area by counting the number of pepperoni slices on each pizza.

   Diameter    Price no of slices p per slice 7 inch£3.751231p 9 inch£4.952619p 12 inch£6.953222p 15 inch£8.453524p
This suggests the 9 inch pizza is the best value at 19p per slice of pepperoni.
The 15 inch pizza might look more packed but its slices are 24p each.

However this is also mathematical rubbish because you can't just go by photos.
In particular the 12 inch and 15 inch pizzas are shown pretty much the same size, and they're not.
My suspicion is that these pizza images aren't real, merely AI conjuring.
So we can't use fictional pepperoni slices to calculate best value either.

What we should be doing is calculating the area of each pizza in square inches.
It's good old A=πr².

   Diameter    PriceArea p per sq in 7 inch£3.7538 sq in10p 9 inch£4.9564 sq in8p 12 inch£6.95113 sq in6p 15 inch£8.45 177 sq in5p
That's more like it.
The 7 inch pizza is the worst value at 10p per square inch.
And the 15 inch pizza is the best value at 5p per square inch.

This is because a 15 inch pizza is a lot bigger than it sounds.

   DiameterArea compared
to 7 inch 7 inch38 sq in×1 9 inch64 sq in×1.7 12 inch113 sq in×3 15 inch 177 sq in×4.7
A 15 inch pizza is almost 5 times the size of a 7 inch.
But at Wembley Master Chef the price is only roughly double.
So if you want best value cheesy pepperoni stodge, go large.

I also checked the cost of buying these pizzas online. Ouch.

   Diameter Shop deal Online order 7 inch£3.75unavailable 9 inch£4.95£8.90 12 inch£6.95£11.90 15 inch£8.45£14.90
The last column is even if you order online and collect it yourself.
In each case you're paying 75% extra for the privilege of ordering online.

So at the end of all that, two conclusions.

1) Larger pizzas are much better value.
2) Don't order online.

And not just at Wembley Master Chef.

#busnatter
The Mayor is introducing a Weekend Hopper fare in the summer.
It means you'll only pay one fare to ride buses and trams all day.



But it's only for six weekends (25 July - 31 August)
But also Bank Holiday Monday, so better than that
But that still only makes 13 days of actual savings
But what a great PR stunt, making bus travel more affordable
But bus fares are already capped (at three fares daily)
But that's £1.75 × 3= £5.25 so not necessarily cheap
But basically all this does is save £3.50 (i.e. a coffee)
But if you used it every weekend you could save £45
But nobody actually makes unlimited bus journeys every day
But it is green and skewed towards less affluent Londoners
But it's hardly "a whopper of a deal", it's peanuts
But children already travel free on buses anyway
But don't gripe, any saving can only be a good thing
But what a waste of scarce public funds this is
But they reckon it'll only cost the Mayor £20m
But why are they announcing this now, it's ten weeks away!
But it might help some families make school holiday plans
But seriously, why are they over-promoting it so early?
But Sadiq has only promised to freeze bus fares until July
But it would be cynical to suggest this is a mere distraction
But maybe it's good news now ahead of bad news later
But it might encourage a few people to travel a bit more
But wow what a lot of publicity this tiny thing has got
But try not to get the top seat behind the frog's eye

This is the 11,111th post on diamond geezer

On Sunday I finally visited Cocksure Lane in North Cray.



I'd been intrigued by it on a map for years and now finally I was here.
A country lane off a country lane in a seriously peripheral part of London.

On Saturday I snapped this shot while walking down Grand Avenue in Tokyngton.



Sometimes the best views are in the most unlikely places.

And yesterday I had 25 minutes to wait for an Overground train.
So rather than wait on the platform I went for an explore.
And that's how I found myself in Keats Close in Ponders End.



Rather fewer delights there, but another street in the capital ticked off.

I have, over the last 25 years, been to a heck of a lot of London.
And I wondered, how many people have been to more of London than me?

To be clear that's the whole of Greater London, not just zones 1 and 2 in the middle. A lot of people have done Kensington, Islington and Southwark but rather fewer have put in the legwork in Ruislip, Hainault and Purley. London isn't merely a Square Mile, it has an area of 607 square miles and a lot of people have never seen the half of it.

I'm sure loads of people have been to more pubs than me. When it comes to football stadiums, shops and restaurants I bet I'm soundly beaten. But when it comes to average residential streets, footpaths and all - the very meat of suburbia - I'm sure I've trodden more pavements than most.

I've been to Harrows Meade in Edgware, Rogers Road in Dagenham, Doris Avenue in Barnehurst, Gibbons Road in Neasden and Worlds End Lane in Chelsfield. I've walked the Blackberry Path in Cricklewood, Pig Farm Alley in Sutton and Hutchinsons Bank in New Addington. I have yet to tackle Cow Path in Elmstead or Emperor's Gate in South Kensington but, like Cocksure Lane, they could always be on a future list.

When I say 'been to' I'm happy to include all forms of transport, even trains if they're above ground and you've bothered to look out of the window. Most car owners will only have seen the main roads unless they drive for a living. Yes buses are better at nipping down the lesser streets, and yes cycling can down lead you down some proper backways. But if you haven't explored widely on foot you won't have sunk your teeth into a neighbourhood properly, and I have done a heck of a lot of exploring on foot.

It helps that I've been to every station in London and ridden every bus route too. I haven't ridden the full extent of every bus route because that would be purgatory but enough to know what the backstreets of Greenford look like, also Orpington and Hounslow. I've also been to every single 1km grid square in London - it was my post-lockdown project - and I do genuinely think nobody else has ever done that.

You may assume I've been everywhere but don't overestimate my reputation purely from what I've written. There are still tens of thousands of streets I've never walked down, thousands of footpaths I've never followed and dozens of parks I've not yet stumbled into. There are apocryphal tales of people walking every street in London but I don't believe anybody ever has, except within some much smaller confined locality.

As an example, here's a map of where I've been in Poverest. If you're already thinking "where's Poverest?" then QED, I have been to more of it than you.



I've explored Robin Hood Green, climbed Englefield Rise and ridden the bus round Avalon Road. I've looked in on Beril Cafe, Poverest allotments and Fordcroft Romano-British Bathhouse. As you can see there are a lot of streets I've never been to, indeed a majority, so if you live round here you'll have beaten my total. But I bet I beat 99% of Londoners with my Poverest tally, and there are hundreds of other London neighbourhoods to take into account too.

I am arguably wasting my life by exploring London like this. I could have been having a nice day out yesterday rather than accidently stumbling upon Keats Close, or even stayed in and watched Netflix rather than giving in to pointless wanderlust.

So I wondered, have any of you have been to more of London than I have?
Also how many people overall have been to more of London than me?
Also who in the long history of our capital city has seen the most of Greater London?
And could that person possibly be me?

Update: No, it's not me, A runner called James Salmon is systematically visiting every street in London and recording his route via an app called CityStrides. He started in April 2021 and in the last five years has run along 29,023 of the 39,451 streets listed in London. He spent Sunday running 12 miles round Wanstead. You can view his map here and it is astonishing! However because he's working sequentially he's barely touched Newham, Barking & Dagenham, Havering, Bexley or Bromley yet, indeed he's done none of Poverest whatsoever. Arguably I have the better spread, for now, but by 2028 James's achievement should be maximal and unbeatable.

LONDON A-Z
J is for Joyden's Wood

My next alphabetical destination proved a conundrum because no London suburb starts with J. The Ordnance Survey maintains a list of "populated places", 681 of which are in the capital, but that alas jumps straight from Islington to Kenley. Only four of the placenames even include the letter J, these being Clapham Junction, St James's, St John's and St John's Wood, none of which count as little-known locations. So I've had to plump for Joyden's Wood instead which is in Kent, or at least the vast majority of it is.



Joyden's Wood is a vast tract of ancient woodland partially devoured by suburbia. You'll find it between Old Bexley and Swanley, safely tucked between the A2 and the A20. The first building work hereabouts was the Fæsten Dic, a mile-long defensive earthwork believed to have been built by Kentish Saxons in the 5th century. The earliest medieval settlement was a manor house called Baldwyns, this sold off in 1894 to create a large mental asylum, then in 1924 a wedge of woodland was appropriated to create the Baldwyns Park estate. Considerably more land was given over to housing after the war, this where you'll now find a library, two primary schools, three dozen streets and a chip shop. This is the suburb now generally known as Joyden's Wood, almost all of which is on the Kent side of a district boundary that once ran almost unnoticed through the woods.

I have instead set myself the task of documenting the London side of the divide which alas includes only a quarter of the wood, all on the unpopulated side, plus six cul-de-sacs, a couple of country lanes and a lot of places where horses live.



The wood
Joyden's Wood is a fabulous place to explore, especially at present when its many weaving paths aren't the usual mudbath. Find one of the handful of entrances and you can lose yourself in a forested wilderness, ideally following the broad tracks or minor sidepaths rather than the outer loop of churned-up bridleway. Expect to meet dogwalkers doing a circuit, although rather fewer on the London flank because there's nowhere to park, or if you're lucky absolutely nobody at all. The woods didn't always look like this, the Forestry Commission got somewhat over-zealous planting pine trees in the 1950s, but the Woodland Trust have done a good job of thinning them out again.



I made my way from the perimeter to the path that most closely tracks the Greater London boundary. To my right a break in the wire fence led off to a steepish climb beneath a thickening canopy, the wood's character very much a consequence of its endlessly undulating contours. Birdsong accompanied me along the way, half of it from Kent. Birch trees occasionally (and unnervingly) creaked in the wind. Just off the main track I found a deep sandy dell, crossed a dried-up a stream on a bridge of logs and stumbled upon the last of the season's unshrivelled bluebells. I did not find the wooden fighter plane, the boardwalk or the Saxon earthwork because they're on the wrong side of the line (as previously enjoyed).



Another wood
Gattons Plantation is an adjacent woody oblong, also with a Joyden's Wood sign on the gate but entirely separate. You get here along Parsonage Lane, a proper winding lane liberally dollopped with manure. They totally love horses out here, with any land that isn't woody having been taken over by paddocks, stables and riding schools, also irregular detached houses inhabited by folk who enjoy a ride. As London goes, this edge of rural Bexley is beyond atypical. For the plantation turn right into Cocksure Lane and look for the swing gate into 35 acres of dense oak cover and undergrowth, passing a ripped-up poster on Coppicing before you start your circuit. I'd tell you more but this is probably more North Cray than Joyden's Wood and I might need that for N.



More stables
Stable Lane is well named because Mount Mascal Stables is tucked away down the far end. Again it's notionally in North Cray but because Joyden's Wood is immediately adjacent I'm totally including it. MMS is massive, a warren of paddocks, barns and outbuildings with copious car parking, plus the underlying smell of soiled hay. A public footpath passes through so I got to see small children taking trotting lessons while proud parents watched on, also dressage arenas with letters round the outer rails, also smiling passengers arriving for a 90 minute hack or a Standard Pony Party. This is how the active equestrians of DA5 spend their weekends.



Further up the lane are occasional sprawling cottages, a half-occupied business estate and a permanently closed nursery (perennials, not toddlers). I passed a sign saying 'New Laid Chicken Eggs £2.00 box of 6', just before the man whose chickens they were emerged and took his half-dozen back indoors. The only modern intrusion is the entrance to an electricity substation, a chicane of barriers and warning-strewn fencing leading to a huge fizzy grid cunningly concealed in a grassy dip. Hurst 275Kv Substation is one of the stopping-off points for the London Power Tunnels 2 project, a 20 mile high-voltage connection between Wimbledon and Crayford which went live hereabouts last summer. I should have guessed it was important from the glare the security guard gave me when I took a photo of his portakabin.



The other lane
Tile Kiln Lane is proper ancient, the original link from Bexley to Baldwyns and still the same width too. It climbs and curls between stone walls, then up past yet more horses and the entrance to a single private cottage. Vehicles are barred from the central stretch, a part-grooved lane encroached by twiggy trees where you could imagine it's still the 18th century. Alongside is a meadow called Coldblow Field because this smidgeon of outer Bexley generally goes by the Coldblow name, but I shall be claiming the next suburbanised quarter mile as proper Joyden's Wood because its houses were built when all this was incontrovertibly Kent.



Residents of this mix of bungalows, townhouses and squished detacheds get to vote for London's Mayor but pay for it by having a ULEZ camera perched at the entrance to their mini-enclave. In the grounds of St Barnabas Church I found a mysterious knobbly boundary marker rusting away in one corner, also a coal tax post so peripheral it occupies a sawn-out slot in somebody's garden fence. The last cottage before Kent is the oldest by far, a hexagonal oddity with a thatched roof which was formerly the lodge for the big manor beyond. The bus stop outside has a B12 tile saying 'AM only' because it's part of a unique TfL loop that operates clockwise before noon and anti-clockwise after. Pictured is the last bus before the switcheroo (although it's actually timetabled for twelve minutes past twelve).



The shops
The Kent side of Joyden's Wood has most of the shops but the Bexley slice does merit one short parade, so close to border that there's a coal tax post outside the Chinese restaurant. The salon nextdoor recently switched from curlers to skin fades while the dry cleaners at the far end sold up in 2019 and is now a kebabbery. Astonishingly one shop still specialises in TV sales and satellite repairs, admittedly now doubled up with a strong sideline in vapes. But the finest shopfront here must be that of Modern Screws, still ready to sell you a pack of steel pop rivets or a Grub Screw Micro Assortment, even if its '60s typeface immediately contradicts the 'Modern' half of its name. There is much of joy in Joyden's Wood, even on the flank that's barely Joyden's Wood at all.

The Dangleway no longer has a sponsor.
You'd be forgiven for not noticing.

For ten years the cablecar was sponsored by a Middle Eastern airline and then, in a baffling marketing switcheroo, by a cloud-based software solution for enterprise resource planning. If a single company executive ever took their offspring for a ride and was moved to switch their AI data platform to IFS Cloud I'd be amazed.

IFS Cloud had a five year sponsorship deal so could have continued until October 2027 but instead decided to break early. According to Ian Visits they pulled the plug on 18th March, since when the Dangleway's name has officially been 'London Cable Car', all branding deleted.

You can check this by going to the TfL website.
The status page used to show 'IFS Cloud Cable Car status' but now shows 'London Cable Car status'.
The cablecar homepage used to be full of IFS Cloud references but now there are none.

The London Cable Car crosses the River Thames between Greenwich Peninsula and the Royal Docks, just 5 minutes' walk from The O2 and North Greenwich Underground station.

IFS Cloud would have appeared three times in that last sentence and now it's zero.

As far as I can tell, the big switcheroo occurred around 16th April.
And yet the old name lingers on.

I nipped down to the north terminal which should by now be called Royal Docks but instead has the old name everywhere.



The big letters on the terminal building still say IFS CLOUD ROYAL DOCKS, even though it would be quite easy to take the first eight letters down.



The terminal still has a massive purple IFS Cloud CABLE CAR lozenge on the exterior.
All the dangleway cabins are still wrapped in IFS Cloud branding.
All the fare posters are still IFS Cloud branded.
The lifts are still covered with purple cloud stickers and the IFS logo.
Royal Victoria DLR station is still absolutely plastered with IFS Cloud posters.
Even the fake gondola you're supposed to take photos in still has the @IFSLondonCableCar hashtag.

It does say Welcome to the Cable Car as you walk in, but even that's not the right name.



I wondered whose fault this was.
Shouldn't the sponsor pay to remove their branding official period is over?
Well actually no, I checked the 2022 contract and these signs aren't their responsibility.
Instead it says "TfL/DLR to arrange at its own cost" for every aspect of the on-site branding.
It seems TfL are just being lazy, or else they don't particularly care.

The old names also still appear on the tube map.
It's still IFS Cloud Cable Car on the paper tube map because that's not due an update until the summer.
Ditto all the posters on platforms - IFS Cloud continue to get free advertising there.
Oddly the online maps haven't been updated either, despite the fact this would be easy.



But it is London Cable Car on all the signage on trains and at stations, comprehensively so. This has been the case since April 2022 when TfL decided it would be cheaper long-term to make every enamel sign and line diagram sponsor-free. That way they don't have to go round and put stickers on everything every time a sponsor departs, a decision which has just been proven to be very sensible.

All I can say is well done to IFS Cloud because they stopped paying for all this advertising two months ago but TfL are still screaming their name across the entire physical Dangleway and its two terminals. For an organisation obsessed by brands it's a peculiar misstep.

And don't expect another sponsor because it seems TfL are planning on taking a fresh approach, focusing more on temporary activations and seasonal chutzpah.

Here's what legendary Dangleway topdog Danny Price has to say.

"As both the Cable Car and the sponsorship market have evolved, so has our approach. Rather than entering into a new contract with a named sponsor, we will now focus on a number of short-term creative partnerships that help us celebrate the seasons, major events and cultural moments in the capital."

Oh god.

"This commercial decision is aligned with increased demand from brands to run shorter, more flexible, experience-based activations, and operating without a named sponsor will mean that the London Cable Car is a more attractive proposition for these partnership activities."

If you thought recent sponsorship blasts from Guinness and Warburtons on the tube were gauche and ill-judged, brands will now have the option of smothering the Dangleway in collateral instead, where thankfully most Londoners are unlikely to see it.

Also TfL recently issued a contract opportunity seeking partners to work with them on 'London Cable Car Customer Enhancements'.

"Transport for London (TfL) are exploring plans to enhance the London Cable Car, which connects the Royal Docks and Greenwich Peninsula. Following recent strategic work confirming its role as a predominantly leisure-focused destination, TfL intends to refresh the visitor proposition to enhance the customer experience, extend visit duration, increase revenue and strengthen the Cable Car's position in the London leisure market."

There you go, confirmation that TfL have given up on the Dangleway as a method of useful public transport and are going all out on pumping tourists and sightseers for cash.

"TfL are considering procuring a delivery partner (or partners) to provide concept design, detailed design and build services for a programme of enhancements. These include improvements to the overall customer journey and a potential transformation of the South Terminal into a more immersive, experience‑led environment."

Oh god.

Imagine approaching your gondola ride through a swirling light tunnel backed by a pumping disco beat while a brand of orange juice exhorts you to share a selfie with their chosen campaign hashtag. It'll likely be more ghastly than that, but it'll be a while before we have clarity on quite what Boris's aerial white elephant is going to evolve into. Do come back and join me in ripping the piss whenever this new immersive reality emerges.

London council elections 2026

    Enf
Noc      Harr
 Barn
NocHari
NocWFor
Gain   Hill
 Eal
 Bren
NocCam
 Isl
 Hack
GainRedb
 Hav
Gain Hou
 H&F
 K&C
 West
Gain 
 Tow
 New
NocB&D
   Rich
 Wan
NocLam
NocSou
NocLew
GainGrn
 Bex
    King
 Mer
 Cro
NocBro
       Sut
     
the big changes
          Hackney: was Lab 52 Con 5, now Grn 42 Lab 9 (Labour since 2002)
         Havering: was Con 23 Ind 20, now Ref 39 Ind 14 (Reform's first London council)
        Lewisham: was Lab 54 (clean sweep), now Grn 40, Lab 14 (Labour since 2010)
Waltham Forest: was Lab 47 Con 13, now Grn 31, Lab 15 Con 14 (Labour since 2010)
    Westminster: was Lab 31 Con 23, now Con 32 Lab 22 (also Conservative 1964-2022)

Three of the gains are by the Greens, one by the Conservatives and one by Reform.
Six different parties are in control across London.
The only 'clean sweep' council is Richmond which is 100% Lib Dem.
Havering is the only borough where the number of Reform councillors reached double figures.
Four years ago Labour won 21 councils outright, this year only nine.

slipping into No Overall Control
Barnet: Con 31, Lab 31, Grn 1 (Green councillor holds balance of power)
Brent: Lab 26, Lib 11, Con 11, Grn 9 (Labour three short)
Croydon: Lab 30, Con 28, Grn 8, Lib 2, Ref 2 (Conservative Mayor in charge)
Enfield: Con 31, Lab 27, Grn 5 (Conservatives 1 short)
Haringey: Grn 28, Lab 20, Lib 8, Ind 1 (Greens 1 short)
Lambeth: Grn 29, Lab 26, Lib 8 (Greens 3 short)
Newham: Lab 26, Ind 24, Grn 16 (Labour Mayor in charge)
Southwark: Lab 29, Grn 22, Lib 12 (Labour since 2010)
Wandsworth: Con 29, Lab 28, Ind 1 (former Conservative councillor holds balance of power)

Four years ago only Croydon was No Overall Control. This year there are nine NOC boroughs.

For an excellent clickable map of all the results, see smallsites.london/Election2026.html.

five Mayoralties

Cro
  Hac
Gain Lew
Gain New
  Tow
 
Croydon was very close: Con 31%, Lab 30%, Grn 17%, Ref 13%
Hackney's gone very Green: Grn 47%, Lab 35%
Lewisham went Green too: Grn 40%, Lab 35%
Newham stayed red: Lab 30%, Ind 24%, Grn 23%
Tower Hamlets re-elected Lutfur: Asp 39%, Lab 21.1%, Grn 20.9%

In Tower Hamlets it would have taken the combined vote of Labour and the Greens to oust Lutfur Rahman, so he's safely back for his fourth term.

The last government ended Supplementary Votes in Mayoral elections.
This year it's First Past The Post, so you get what you get.
(but it'll be Supplementary Vote again next time because the law changed last week)

The Conservatives won the Croydon Mayoralty by just 1100 votes.
In 2022 second preferences narrowed the Con/Lab gap in Croydon by 1600 votes.
So it's entirely possible that Labour would have won this year under the old system.

Meanwhile near London
Lib: West Surrey, East Surrey, Watford
Ref: Thurrock
Con: Broxbourne, Harlow

Meanwhile in Birmingham
Ref 22, Grn 19, Lab 17, Con 16, Ind 13, Lib 12, tbc 2
which is an uncoalitionable six-way mess

---

8pm update
Tower Hamlets council seats have finally been counted.
Lutfur's party Aspire has taken the lion's share of seats, 33 out of 45.



Labour and the Greens each took 5 seats on a near-identical share of the vote.
All the Green seats are in Bow, indeed all Bow's councillors are Green.

The Stratford & Bow constituency spans two boroughs.
It currently has a Labour MP.
However as of today it only has one Labour councillor.
16 of the constituency's 22 councillors are Green.
So I guess that makes us a top Green target in 2029!

In 1879 all London was gripped by the gruesome murder of a widow in this Richmond cottage. The subsequent trial heard how Julia Martha Thomas had been choked to death by her maidservant, the body then dismembered, boiled and thrown headless into the Thames. The torso washed up downstream a few days later and Kate Webster was duly condemned to hang at Wandsworth Prison. But the remains were never formally identified as Julia's, not until 2010 when the octogenarian who owned the house nextdoor started work on an extension and a skull was unexpectedly unearthed. Today of all days, it's quite a tale.



Julia Martha Thomas was a former schoolteacher in her mid-50s who lived alone at 2 Mayfield Cottages in Park Road, Richmond. She'd had several maids, not many of whom had found her easy to work for, and in January 1879 made a fresh appointment on the recommendation of a friend. Alas people couldn't check references in those days and there was plenty about Kate Webster to be concerned about. She'd grown up in County Wexford and by the age of 15 had already been imprisoned for larceny. At 18 she moved to Liverpool and was imprisoned for larceny there, this time a four year sentence. She then moved to Hammersmith (another 18 months) and Teddington (another twelve months), and by the time of her Richmond appointment had already spent a fifth of her life in penal servitude. If only Julia had known.

The two women didn't get on, Julia finding Kate too lax and Kate finding Julia too strict. After only five weeks Kate was given warning to leave but wangled a few extra days, only to head to the alehouse on the last afternoon rather than accompanying Julia to church. A furious argument ensued during which Julia was pushed down the stairs, and things went rapidly downhill from there.

Mrs. Thomas came in and went upstairs. I went up after her, and we had an argument, which ripened into a quarrel, and in the height of my anger and rage I threw her from the top of the stairs to the ground floor. She had a heavy fall, and I became agitated at what had occurred, lost all control of myself, and, to prevent her screaming and getting me into trouble, I caught her by the throat, and in the struggle she was choked, and I threw her on the floor.

I determined to do away with the body as best I could. I chopped the head from the body with the assistance of a razor which I used to cut through the flesh afterwards. I also used the meat saw and the carving knife to cut the body up with. I prepared the copper with water to boil the body to prevent identity; and as soon as I had succeeded in cutting it up I placed it in the copper and boiled it. I opened the stomach with the carving knife, and burned up as much of the parts as I could.

Kate stashed most of the body parts in a wooden chest and a Gladstone bag, but one foot wouldn't fit so she chucked it in a rubbish heap in Twickenham, and the skull she buried behind the pub at the top of the road. The chest proved too heavy to move so she asked a friend's son to help her drag it to the station, and as they were crossing Richmond Bridge contrived to push it into the water. Such were her silver-tongued skills that none of this aroused any suspicions. Unfortunately for Kate the chest washed up at Barnes Bridge the following morning where it was spotted by a coal porter and taken to the police. But at this stage nobody could identify the body, not even when the spare foot was discovered, so the unidentified remains were laid to rest in Barnes Cemetery, case closed.



Kate might have got away with her crime had she not taken to dressing up as Mrs Thomas while selling off the contents of the house. She returned to her former stomping ground in Hammersmith and met up with the publican of The Rising Sun public house who agreed to take away all the furniture for the sum of £68. But when he turned up in Richmond with his cart and asked to meet with 'Mrs Thomas' - yes that's her - the neighbours spotted the deception. Kate realised the game was up, fleeing post haste back to Ireland aboard a coal steamer.

I did deviate to Hammersmith to take a look at The Rising Sun, homing in on 20 Cardross Street, but the pub closed in the 1960s and has been converted to a private home. Also the new owners had got the builders in, gutting the interior to add a rear extension and loft conversion, continuing my bad luck this week of visiting historic buildings temporarily under wraps. So, back to Richmond.



When police turned up at Mayfield Cottages they discovered several blood stains, burnt finger-bones in the hearth and dubious fatty deposits behind the copper. Kate had also been careless enough to leave behind a letter giving her home address in Ireland, and although she was actually hiding out at her uncle's farm the Irish police consulted her criminal record and caught her there anyway. Kate was brought back to England for a first hearing at Richmond Magistrates Court and then, as public interest in the case grew exponentially, a full trial at the Old Bailey.

The case opened on 2nd July 1879 with Kate denying everything, instead attempting to shift blame to the Hammersmith publican and her friends who'd helped carry the chest. But several witnesses came forward to help piece together the real story, with some even claiming Webster had sold them pots of lard and dripping rendered from boiled human fat. The case lasted six days, accompanied by much hysterical reporting in the press, with the jury taking just an hour and a quarter to find her guilty. Kate attempted to dodge the death penalty by claiming she was pregnant, the judge forced to employ a team of twelve matrons to confirm she wasn't. Only on the night before her execution did she finally confess all, and at 9am the next morning Wandsworth's hangman took her life.

The contents of 2 Mayfield Cottages were duly auctioned, with the Hammersmith publican successful in gaining most of the furniture including the knife with which Mrs Thomas had been dismembered. Daytrippers flocked to the backstreets of Richmond Hill just to see the cursed house, and nobody would live in it until almost twenty years had passed. Madame Tussauds swiftly created a wax effigy and placed it in their Chamber of Horrors, thus well into the 20th century Kate Webster still appeared alongside Dr Crippen, Burke and Hare. This is what happens when you brutally dismember your employer and are utterly useless at covering your tracks.



Park Road eventually returned to normal, indeed became a desirable address. These days Mayfield Cottages make a smart pair bedecked with shrubbery and wisteria, while nextdoor is a gorgeous blue-painted house whose garden path wends between several lush specimens. But Julia's skull remained undiscovered for well over a century, that is until the local pub - The Hole In The Wall - went up for sale. The owner of the blue house was worried it might become flats so bought it for himself and transformed it into a library. During the renovation work in 2010 a "dark circular object" was uncovered which turned out to be a woman's skull. Not only was it fractured but the bone also had low collagen levels, as would be expected after boiling. No DNA confirmation was possible as Thomas had no known offspring but the coroner concluded yes this was indeed the last piece of the mystery.



The blue house has been owned by the same man for over 70 years, bought in 1952 when he was a humble trainee BBC producer. You know him well, he's Sir David Attenborough and today is the widely-celebrated occasion of his 100th birthday. He says he'd never live anywhere else thanks to the unbeatable combination of a temperate climate, a cultured city and the glories of Richmond Park barely a five minute walk away. And here he's returned after all the great projects of his lifetime, from commissioning The Old Grey Whistle Test to making Life On Earth, back to the cosy home sandwiched between a notorious crime scene and the burial place of a fractured skull. Not just a great naturalist and TV executive but the unlikely solver of a murder mystery even older than he is.

This week I also spent 10 minutes at Morden South station.
And I have more questions.

Why is nobody else here?
That's because Morden South is the fifth least-used station in London with just 76,000 passengers a year, or 200 a day. Hence you walk in and the place is usually deserted, not even a member of staff to keep an eye on things, just an elevated island platform and some butterflies.



Where is everyone?
They're ten minutes up the road at Morden tube station which has 8 million passengers a year. That's because it has trains every two or three minutes to central London whereas Morden South has unreliable dawdly trains that take 40 minutes to get to Blackfriars and only run every half hour. Of course you'd go to Morden instead.

What went wrong?
In the 1920s two railway companies competed to bring services to this part of London and, following Parliamentary disapproval, had to agree to share the spoils. The City & Southern, which later became the Northern line, was only allowed as far as Morden. Meanwhile the Southern Railway got to build its line all the way to Sutton, thereby denying all those beyond Morden a decent service even 100 years later.



Why the pink stripes?
I think it's a Thameslink thing. I don't think it's a current Thameslink thing.

Is it just me who gets Merton and Morden muddled up?
It really doesn't help having two consecutive stations called South Merton and Morden South. Things were a lot simpler pre-suburbia when Merton and Morden were very distinct places. Then new station names distorted things, so for example the original village of Merton now has a station called South Wimbledon, the original village of Morden is best served by St Helier and the tube station at Morden is immediately opposite Merton Civic Centre.

How many other London stations are two anagrammable words?
In this case that's Modern Shout. The next double-anagrammable station is just up the line at Shout Mentor, whereas the best we can do at Wimbledon Chase is Bowelmind Aches and that's not proper.



What is that typeface?
It is perhaps two typefaces, one for the station name, the other for the signs. I really like the former.

What's it like inside the humungous mosque nextdoor?
This is a question I wondered last year, which is why for Open House I took up the offer of an hour-long tour within. It's a vast complex, built 20 years ago on the site of a former Express Dairy and reopened in 2023 after a nasty fire. One end feels more like a conference centre and events venue, the far end has the prayer hall with space for 6000 worshippers, and once you get past the metal detectors the main walkway is both florally and geometrically impressive.



How many types of automated parcel lockers are there?
I ask because there are two sets of parcel lockers at the entrance to the station, one branded InPost, the other Amazon. A few steps away at Morden Sorting Office the lockers are Royal Mail specific, whereas it's over a mile to the nearest Evri lockers at the Lord Nelson. Is that the full set?

Apparently this is a Category C step-free station. What are these categories?
Category A: step-free access to all platforms
Category B1: step-free access to all platforms but may include long/steep ramps or street-level interchange
Category B2: some step-free access to all platforms (not as good as B1)
Category B3: step-free access to fewer than the total number of platforms
Category C: no step-free access to any platform



What's the point of a Meeting Point?
At busy stations, sure, but here? Nobody's going to miss spotting someone at a near-ghost station with one entrance and one island platform.

How long before most rail replacement buses are scrapped?
The Rail Replacement Bus Information poster at Morden South says 'when trains are unable to run...dedicated rail replacement buses will not serve this station'. Cheers for that. I know it's a little-used line but it's hardly fair to make people pay more for their usual journey, and alas increasingly so.

Do City AM end up throwing most of their papers away?
Mid-morning, well after any commuters would have passed through, I counted about 80 pristine copies of City AM in the hopper by the bus stop. Most of these are never going to be read, they'll just be binned the following morning when the next edition arrives. City AM has a certified daily circulation of 68,338, but how many of those are actually read?



Why do National Rail stations display out-of-date bus spider maps?
The spider map at Morden South is dated September 2015 and shows five local routes. The three that stop outside are still correct but the other two were both changed in March 2024, thus the map is misleading. I found a much worse spider map at Barnes Bridge station yesterday, dated August 2014 and still showing six routes crossing Hammersmith Bridge. Were these TfL stations the maps would have been removed without replacement, but maybe it's a good thing to still have something even if it's not correct.

Could they rewild more station platforms?
Beyond the canopy the centre of the island platform has been left to seed, so at this time of year a long green strip is alive with grasses, wild flowers and butterflies. It's lovely to stand beside, especially when your next train could be a very long time away. How many other unused bits of platforms around London could be enlivened this way?



Who is the sanctimonious moral crusader?
All the stations down this loop have laminated messages stuck to the shelters urging station users to behave better. [Today's fun of Vandalising is tomorrow's unsafe Station and Locality. BE SAFE!] I think only Morden South has the full set of four. [Your Local Station reflects YOU! Let's be proud and keep it clean!] [This is your Local station. Why Graffiti/Destroy? It only reflects you!] Whose self-righteous idea was this? [If we want the world to change, we first have to change Ourselves] If I had a spraycan, I think these misjudged posters are the first thing I'd smother.

It's the local elections tomorrow and London is electing borough councillors.

Here are snapshots of five election leaflets, three of which came through my letterbox and two of which are from opposite sides of London.

This is from the Greens in Bow East.



The bar graph is a fairly staple local election trope, essentially confirming "we are the only credible alternative". For context Bow East currently has a full contingent of three Labour councillors. However Labour don't run Tower Hamlets because Lutfur Rahman does, nor do Labour have the most councillors overall. It's thus a bit rich to say "If you're fed up with Labour..." because locally they run nothing.

The message is similar to Reform UK's slogan for the local elections which is GET STARMER OUT, despite the fact you're not voting for him at all. Both parties are simply piggybacking on the unpopularity of the national party in the hope of getting elected on a tidal wave of negativity... a tactic which might well be successful.

However I'm much more concerned about the graph. Supposedly it shows a projection for Bow East, as calculated in April by the website britain.votes.now.

I was intrigued enough to visit the website where I checked what the figures were... and they were nothing like those displayed in the leaflet. Here's my graph of what they actually said.



The data-bashers at britain.votes.now expect Labour to get 37% of the vote and the Greens 28%. This is not just the other way round to the graph in the leaflet, it's a Labour lead of 9% rather than a Green lead of 1%. I checked the website last week when the leaflet arrived and the data hasn't changed since, it's been resolutely 37%/28%/23%/5%/4%/3% all the time.

The britain.votes.now website also has a separate tab for the 'Win probability' in every ward. Here they assign 65% to Labour winning, 23% to the Greens and 12% to Aspire, i.e. they're fairly convinced Bow East will be a Labour victory. It might not be because that's how elections and probability work, but I saw nothing at britain.votes.now to support the graph in my election leaflet.

I emailed the Tower Hamlets Green Party last week asking them to explain but they haven't bothered responding. Perhaps they're preoccupied by their prospects nextdoor in Bow West where britain.votes.now does indeed give the Greens a victory probability of 65%. But here in Bow East, either the Greens have misinterpreted the data or they've drawn a deliberately misleading graph.

This leaflet is from Aspire, Lutfur Rahman's party. I haven't chopped anything off.



The leaflet is essentially just a huge ballot paper with instructions for how to vote for Lutfur as Mayor. It even explains what 'vote' means in three different languages. The back is much the same but instead shows how to vote for the three Aspire councillors locally. It's pretty much entirely 'how to vote for us', not why.

To be fair, Lutfur sent a whopping 4-page list of achievements separately a few weeks ago and this is merely leaflet number 2. But it does feel like a guide for people who don't understand what politics is about, perhaps due to language issues or lack of interest, thus something you could give to a compliant family member before nudging them towards a voting booth. It's not illegal, but it is an illuminating example of Lutfur's ability to get his vote out.

Labour's candidate for Mayor of Tower Hamlets took a different approach, sending me a two-page personally-addressed letter.



Page 1 mostly says you can't trust Lutfur to run the council properly whereas you can trust Sirajul. Page 2 then explains that Lutfur can be beaten but only if everyone who doesn't want him comes together and votes Labour instead. It's heartfelt but I can't see it happening, indeed this year I'd say Labour doesn't have a hope.

This leaflet is from Reform in Ickenham.



I wasn't given it, I found it on the pavement partially torn. For context the Conservatives won over half the vote in Ickenham and South Harefield four years ago, and britain.votes.now assigns them a 95% probability of winning again.

The first paragraph includes the line "Like many of you, we have become increasingly concerned about the direction our community is headed". However it's not stated what that direction is, it's left to the reader to fill in the gaps. The wider genius of Reform's messaging is also evident in their nationwide slogan REFORM CAN FIX IT, where 'IT' could be potholes, poverty, immigration or whatever makes you think they're on your side.

Paragraph 2 bashes the existing council, including the fact its leader is paid considerably more than the Prime Minister. When you have 2500 employees and are responsible for the wellbeing of 320,000 residents, perhaps that's just the going rate. This section also references "£199,000 paid on translation services for those who refuse to integrate", and you can almost hear the dog whistle there, that's how loud it is.

Overall the leaflet is really non-specific, right down to "ensuring your best interests are served at the council" without spelling out what that means. That's populism for you, but potentially a very successful approach at a time when people just want change.

Finally to Hornchurch where I was handed this leaflet outside Sainsbury's.



It's from the Residents Association because they do things differently in Havering, indeed the HRA currently run the borough as a minority administration. Hence you can feel their frustration when they kick things off by pointing out it's a local election, not a national or regional one. The councillors elected this week will be in charge of libraries, social care and community safety, not immigration, housing targets and ULEZ.

They also weigh in on Reform by pointing out that "a vote for Essex" is Party Political nonsense, listing all the things residents might lose if that nostalgic pipedream were ever implemented.

It must be frustrating for councillors (of all parties) who work hard to do their best for the local community, only to be voted out of office by people with no understanding of what's been achieved. Because people will still walk into the polling booth on Thursday and vote on national issues, or because they hate the Mayor of London, rather than for whoever might be best at emptying the bins. Local elections are all too often the wrong kind of popularity contest, same as it ever was.

Yesterday I spent 10 minutes around Ravensbourne station.
And I have more questions.

I wonder how many Londoners know where Ravensbourne station is?
It's not named after a town or suburb so Ravensbourne isn't a terribly helpful name. It could be anywhere unless you live locally or are good at London geography. But I do genuinely want to know how many of you know where it is so I've set up an online poll, here. Options are 'Yes, near enough' and 'Not really'. Please only vote if you live in London or have lived in London. Don't waste your time telling us in the comments, just tell the poll.
After 375 votes (thanks!): 58% of you say yes, you knew where it was



How best to describe where Ravensbourne station is?
1 mile northwest of Bromley, the stop between Beckenham Hill and Shortlands, on the edge of Beckenham Place Park, very very close to the southernmost point in Lewisham but in Bromley, at the bottom of Crab Hill, southeast London, here.

How did Crab Hill get its name?
Genuine question, I don't know.
You say: named after Crab Apple Field, formerly at the top of the hill

What's the point of just one platform having step-free access?
It's OK, we answered this one at Hadley Wood. But same thing here, an easy-to-install ramp in one direction and horrible stairs on the other.



That sign outside's unusual isn't it?
It wouldn't have been unusual in its day, which would have been when Oyster was still new and worth shouting about. They're a Southeastern thing I think. But how many of these old-ish signs, which even include the zone number, linger across the network?

How many other London stations are named after rivers?
Not many, I reckon. On the tube map I can find six with a river's name in the title (Brent Cross, Brent Cross West, Roding Valley, Stamford Brook, Wandle Park and Westbourne Park) but none where the station name is a one-word river. Maybe Ravensbourne is the only example in the UK?
In London also: Lea Bridge, Brent (1923-1976), City Thameslink (maybe), Kidbrooke (sort of)
Outside London: Trent (1862- 1968), Thames Ditton, Dovey Junction

How many of these lovely green fingerposts are there?
This one went up in the 2000s to signpost routes along the Green Chain Walk, also to show how to get to the Capital Ring, and has a trademark loopy circle on top that says Crab Hill. Nobody would find the funding for anything similar these days. I know there's another one in the middle of Beckenham Place Park, indeed I've seen several across London. But how many in total would you say... near enough thirty, approximately fifty or rather more than that?
Answer: 156 on the Green Chain alone (and more elsewhere), thanks Ian



How many people have died because a defibrillator has a keypad?
It's brilliant that we have defibrillators all over the place these days, and also a sad fact of life that they have to be locked away to prevent stealing or vandalism. But when you have to ring 999 to get the keypad code, then push the buttons correctly to open the thing, how many incredibly valuable seconds does that waste and how many lives are lost as a result?

Is there anywhere else in London you can still find Thursday's City AM at the end of the weekend?
Obviously City AM doesn't publish on Bank Holidays, and obviously financial news isn't to everyone's taste. But it can't be a good business model to still have copies left over four days later. Most hoppers across London always empty out so why not here? Also these hoppers are shared with The (Evening) Standard who normally bin the City AMs on Thursday afternoon, so why doesn't the Standard bother with Beckenham? Very much target audience, I'd have thought.

Why does Ravensbourne station still have a ticket office?
It's amongst the 25 least used stations in London and has fewer passengers annually than every tube station in London. But Ravensbourne still has a ticket office (in a nasty fortified cabin added following a fire in 1988) which opens on weekdays from 06:40 to 13:20. I love a nice staffed station but it can't really need seven hours of ticket sales, not in 2026.



How do teensy coffee kiosks make a profit?
This one's tiny, just a mini-shed with a coffee machine and space to operate it. A selection of cold drinks are rammed into the doorway and a few chocolates and mints sit on shelves outside. That's basically all there is so I guess rental should be low. OK so there are 400 commuters passing through every morning, also a lot of dogwalkers heading into the park, but not everyone buys a drink. I know Aziz has been running this particular nameless kiosk for 12 years so it must provide a living, but it always seems economically miraculous that selling coffee in the middle of suburban nowhere can actually turn a profit.

What's the obsession with MIND THE GAP signs on the Catford Loop?
About 10 years ago they plastered big yellow MIND THE GAP signs all along the platforms from Crofton Park to Ravensbourne - there are at least two dozen here, far more than signs telling you the station's name. Safety necessity or complete overload?



Is this how they clean station platforms these days?
It's a woman with what looks like a leaf blower hoovering up dirt from the southbound platform. Interestingly she was doing the same at Beckenham Hill a few minutes earlier so I guess she hops onto the train to work her way down the line. Half an hour between trains means every station gets 30 minutes of cleaning and only one person needs to be employed - bargain!

Why is this Lewisham parish marker not on the borough boundary?
This smoothed metal post is dated 1883 and marks what used to be the edge of London. I found it up a short slope just inside the park, a spot that's now entirely within Lewisham because the borough boundary has been realigned to the edge of the park. Old maps suggest there was another post beside the station because one end of the platform was in Kent and the other wasn't, but I suspect that's long gone.



Is Beckenham Place Park Lewisham's finest park?
It has tough competition, but I suspect yes.

Does anyone ever follow the Beckenham Place Park Nature Trail?
Maybe they did when it was new and there might have been actual leaflets, but what about now? I'd be amazed if anyone spots a tiny yellow circle on a post, does a search for 'Beckenham Place Park Nature Trail' on their phone and then follows it. That's particularly true here because The Friends of Beckenham Place Park wound up in 2023, their website is on its last legs and the relevant file comes with a security warning. So many directional signs linger on around the UK far longer than their physical descriptions.



How did everyone in Beckenham know about yesterday's Vintage Market in the park?
The sheer number of people I passed heading into the park to look at the trinkety stalls by the mansion, it was almost like Blackheath Fireworks crowds used to be. The Vintage Market's been going for 10 years so maybe that helps explain the numbers but it doesn't open regularly, only seasonally, neither did I see any big advertisements at the Beckenham end. In these days of random reels and printlessness, how do people discover events like this are happening?

How long can I keep up this 'station questions' theme?
London has 600+ stations so I could keep this up for well over a year, but don't worry I won't.

100 years ago today this was the most important building in the country.



It's 32 Eccleston Square in Pimlico, just round the corner from Victoria station.
Sorry about the scaffolding, that's temporary.

But in May 1926 it was the headquarters of the Trades Union Congress.
And it was here that the General Strike was called, bringing the nation to a halt for nine days.
No struggle like it has ever happened since.

The build-up

It was the miners that started it, or rather the mining companies, or perhaps Sir Winston Churchill. In 1925 as Chancellor he restored Britain to the Gold Standard, thereby raising exchange rates and dampening global demand for exports. This made the mining industry even less profitable than it had been so the private companies that ran the mines looked for ways to make efficiencies. They decided to pay miners less and extend their working day which plainly the mining unions weren't happy with, their campaign slogan being ‘Not a penny off the pay, not a minute on the day.’ Stanley Baldwin's government subsidised the industry for a further nine months before concurring in April 1926 that change was indeed needed and wages should drop by 13%. Talks broke down on 1st May so the TUC announced that a general strike "in defence of miners' wages and hours" should begin at one minute to midnight on Monday 3rd May. The actual centenary was thus technically yesterday but nobody would have noticed any ill effects until 100 years ago today.



The TUC

The TUC was founded in Manchester in the 1860s, in part because workers wanted a collective voice that wasn't London-centric. It grew to represent a broad coalition of trade-based bodies, initially focused on influencing government policy but by the 1920s keener on developing its own activities. The TUC moved into 32 Eccleston Square shortly after WW1, back when everything could still be coordinated from a single Georgian townhouse, and moved out to somewhere bigger in 1930. An open architectural competition then led to the opening of their current HQ in March 1958, the Grade II* listed Congress House.

The strike

Support for the General Strike was widespread and immediate, the scale of the action surprising even those who'd called for it. The National Union of Railwaymen and the Transport Workers' Federation agreed to stop all movements of coal, bringing public transport across the country to a standstill. Also showing solidarity with the miners were printers, dockers, engineers and others whose labour kept the country running, thereby bringing much of the economy to a halt.



A key issue was that newspapers could not be printed, so the TUC stepped in with a daily screed called The British Worker and the government countered with The British Gazette, a propaganda tool edited by Winston Churchill. The government also leaned heavily on the BBC, at this point still a private company, to broadcast its preferred version of the news.

The strike's impact was initially severe but the government had contingency plans which involved a "militia" of special constables called the Organisation for the Maintenance of Supplies. Picket lines were broken, supplies of newsprint for The British Worker were restricted and soon reports began circulating that men were drifting back to work. Sympathy for the cause was harder to find after a week with no wages, and on 12th May the TUC General Council walked from 32 Eccleston Square to 10 Downing Street to announce its decision to call off the strike. No guarantees were offered in response, such was the capitulation, and inevitably the mining companies did indeed impose longer hours for less pay. The General Strike was thus simultaneously a demonstration that two million working Britons were willing to stand together to fight injustice but also an unequivocable trouncing by the government.



The house

1836: The first houses are built on Eccleston Square, designed by Thomas Cubitt.
1862: Number 32 is built on the southeast side.
1863: The first owner is Lord Eustace Cecil, brother of future Prime Minister Lord Salisbury. who moved in after retiring from the Coldstream Guards and before becoming Conservative MP for South Essex. He has three children called Evelyn, Blanche and Algernon.
1895: The second owner is Duncan Pirie, a Scottish Lieutenant-Colonel who became Liberal MP for Aberdeen North. 32 Eccleston Square is already moving left.
1899: The third owner is Sir Charles John, a barrister and Clerk of the London County Council.
1920: The TUC move in, Eccleston Square no longer being the prime address it once was.
1930: Next to move in are the Rifleman’s Aid Society, a charity for army veterans
1970: ...then the Institution of Public Health Engineers
1984: ...then the National Video Corporation
1987: ... then the Inchbald School of Design
2021: Purchased by art historian Alexander Rudigier for £2,750,000

Future plans

Alexander is attempting to restore 32 Eccleston Square to its former glory as a Georgian townhouse. The majority of similar houses within the area have been subdivided into a single flat per floor with architectural detailing removed, whereas number 32 is substantially unaltered and retains much of its original form. He's already converted it back to a residential dwelling by restoring authentic features and returning the interior to the presumed colour scheme of the first occupant. The current works are relatively minor - removing a flagpole from the facade, dismantling a metal access ladder and replacing a third floor WC with a half-height cupboard. I thank Alexander for the comprehensive documentation attached to recent planning proposals, and also curse the bad luck which means 32 will spend the centenary of the General Strike shrouded in sheeting and scaffolding.



Eccleston Square today

This is one of London's finest garden squares despite its proximity to Victoria, indeed if you stand outside number 32 you can see the Coach Station at the end of the road. The central three-acre garden houses the National Collection of Ceanothus, also several rosebeds and currently a fine wisteria tunnel. It's normally locked but next Sunday you can go in for a look round and home-made teas as part of the National Open Garden Scheme (2-5pm, £5). Eccleston Square is now prime residential estate intermingled with small independent hotels, for example the Jubilee Hotel nextdoor at number 31. Their interior is perhaps over-endowed with patriotic decor, also breakfast's not included, also we now have minimum wage legislation so none of the workers need to go on strike for pay. But what I found most intriguing about this side of the square was the blue plaque outside number 34 which simply says 'Winston Churchill lived here 1909-1913'. How ironic that the politician who did so much to smash the General Strike used to live just two doors down from where it was co-ordinated.



Legacy

The General Strike didn't end well for the TUC and for British miners it was catastrophic. They ended up working longer hours for less, at least until nationalisation in 1947, having endured nine days without pay essentially for nothing. These days the TUC puts a more positive spin on the General Strike, saying it reinforced the importance of trade unions as a collective voice for workers and helped shape the labour movement for the next century. However when miners embarked on a huge strike again in 1984 the rest of the nation didn't come with them and the outcomes were even worse, smashed this time by an even more intransigent establishment. In solidarity with today's 100th anniversary the annual May Day parade will be marching from Clerkenwell to Trafalgar Square this afternoon seeking comradely change. But the days when two million workers could shut the country down, and were brotherly enough to do so, are long gone.

Yesterday I spent 20 minutes around Hadley Wood station.
And I have questions.

Is Hadley Wood London's only open air rail station sandwiched between two sets of tunnels?
Whichever way you look at Hadley Wood there are proper tunnels disappearing into a steep slope. Could be the only place like this in London, but is anywhere else as tunnel-bound?



I wonder what proportion of Londoners have ever been to Hadley Wood?
Not many, you'd think, given how off-piste it is. If you count every Londoner who's ever driven from Cockfosters to Potters Bar maybe it reaches 5%. But actually the East Coast Main Line passes through, so that means everyone who's ever taken the train from King's Cross to towns and cities up north has spent a few seconds here, so maybe a majority of Londoners have been?

What's the point of just one platform having step-free access?
Hadley Wood station has two platforms in general use, only one of which has a ramp to make it step-free. I know they installed it because it was easy, whereas adding a lift to the other platform would be very expensive. But why would you... Ah, hang on, anyone intending to travel south is asked to go one stop north to Potters Bar and change there. But what a faff, and on a line where trains only run every half hour.



Why do Jehovah's Witnesses stand around beside racks of religious literature?
I know it's something that started over 10 years ago. I know they wait in groups of two or more. I know they never approach people, they wait to be approached. I know it's better for all concerned than knocking uninvited on people's doors. I know that time spent here counts towards the 'preaching hours' every Jehovah's Witness is expected to complete. On a practical level it's a waste of time, just an opportunity for a nice chat, and highly highly unlikely to lead to a new convert. And yes, many religions do entirely impractical things because they're spiritually rewarding. But is it really worth the bother?

Why is there a 'London Borough of Enfield' sign outside the station?
I know it's because many years ago the council decided to put up signs outside every station in Enfield as well as on the boundaries of the borough. It's a nice touch but no other London council bothers, so why did they decide to be different?



A heritage poster on the footbridge says 'Hadley Wood By Tram', What, they had trams here?
The tram map I found suggests that trams got no closer than High Barnet, two miles away, so it's a lovely poster but wasn't it a bit naughty?

The 399 is London's least used bus. Why do they bother?
The 399 runs in a big brief loop from Barnet to Hadley Wood and back, and last year had only 8600 passengers. That's barely 30 passengers per day, or just five passengers per journey. Those are impressively low figures. Yes the 399 is an hourly bus which only runs between 10am and 3pm, but even so. Meanwhile Hadley Wood station has 362,000 passengers annually, or 40 times as many as the bus! It's lovely that TfL provide a service for the handful of Hadley Wood's 4000 residents who don't have a car, but practically it's hardly worth bothering with.



Why does it say 299 on the back of the bus?
I know they use a vehicle off route 299 to run route 399 during shopping hours. I know they sometimes use old vehicles and have to prop up the route number on a card in the window. But if the blind on the front can say 399 why not the blind on the back? Or is the driver just being lazy?

Why does the Great North Way Cycle Route start here?
According to a sign outside the station it runs 32 miles from Hadley Wood to Letchworth Garden City. What a weird route. I found a leaflet online which is so old that the train company on the leaflet is WAGN, and they wound up in 2004. I think the idea is that you cycle one way and then ride back. Also it seems to be a Hertfordshire thing which would explain why the route barely nudges into London. But the website www.greatnorthway.org.uk is long defunct and I bet nobody's ridden it for ages so why's the sign still here?



Is Sir Nigel Gresley really the most famous person to have lived in Hadley Wood?
Sir Nige is the great railway engineer who designed Flying Scotsman and Mallard. He lived here in the 1920s and Michael Portillo came to unveil a plaque outside the station in 2017. He's so famous he also has plaques in Edinburgh, York, Doncaster and Lytham St Anne's, also a statue at King's Cross. But General William Booth and Jeremy Beadle also lived here, and arguably Emma Bunton is better known than all of them but she doesn't have a plaque, yet.

Does the Nigel Gresley song have the worst lyrics of all time?
It was sung at the plaque unveiling and the lyrics are posted on the footbridge. It was written by someone who once appeared in Cats. I know it was written for kids but blimey it's dire.

What is this gorgeous typeface at 14 crescent west?
It screams postwar typography and I love it, but what is it?



Wow, this must be one of the original numberplates?
Near the station I spotted a Bentley with numberplate A74. That's amazingly early. The first registration mark 'A1' was issued by London County Council in 1903, with 'A' signifying London and subsequent numbers increasing incrementally. The plate's bound to have changed hands several times, also I have a strong suspicion it belongs to an estate agent, but what a thing to own.

How much would it cost to live here?
I checked in the window at Statons, also their online property search. They have 49 properties over £2million and just one under £500,000. So you won't be moving here soon.

Could they sacrifice the Green Belt here for housing?
If they eased the rules technically yes. It's only half an hour by train to the City, but the obvious field is also the village's only park so best not, and beyond that the London/Hertfordshire border muddies things somewhat. But technically yes, hundreds of houses would fit behind Crescent West and the existing residents would absolutely hate it.



Why did I suddenly bump into a huge group of walkers at the top of the recreation ground?
I thought I'd have a nice walk up to the woods on top of the tunnel portal while I was waiting for my train but instead bumped into lots of ramblers standing around listening to a man talk. Why would so many people come here? OK I searched and aha, it's the team at London Walks. This was the start of their 'Ultimate London Walk' from the edge of Hertfordshire to edge of Surrey, done in 14 walks over five weeks. You've missed day 1 but other dates remain, or you can book to do the whole 42 miles in a single week in September.

I also went to Emerson Park station yesterday, but I have no questions there.

12 things we learnt from TfL FoI requests in April 2026

1) The three panellists who select Poems on the Underground are Judith Chernaik (novelist, poet and critic), Imtiaz Dharker (British-Pakistani poet, artist and filmmaker) and George Szirtes (a Hungarian-British poet).
2) Initial design work for a station at Surrey Canal on the Windrush Line has now started, but as yet the required third party funding for construction has not been secured, and this would not be before 2027.
3) The underground line attracting the most noise complaints in 2023 was the Jubilee, in 2024 the Victoria, in 2025 the Northern and so far this year the Central.
4) TfL are trialling new bus shelters at 22 locations. Three are on Blackfriars Road near TfL HQ. The locations outside zone 1 are Barking station, Hampstead High Street, Harlington High Street, Kentish Town Rd, Lower Clapton Road, Maida Vale, Malden Road, Mitcham Road, Romford station, St Mary's Road, Sidcup High Street, Stockwell Road, Thornton Heath station and West Croydon station.
5) Subways which have been decommissioned since 2007 include seven at Elephant & Castle, four at Bricklayers Arms, three down Park Lane, two at Bressenden Place, also Despard Road, Foxhole Road, Lea Bridge Road, Monument Way, Neathouse Place, Old Marylebone Road, Whitechapel High Street and the Lucozade Factory.
6) The tube station with the most lift/escalator faults last year was Waterloo with 451. These took an average of 35 hours and 40 minutes to repair.
7) Don't ask TfL questions about really old stuff because "our records from 2001 to 2003 are not complete as all paper records has been disposed of, therefore we do not hold a lot of relevant documentation".
8) During the first three months of 2026 South Kenton station was left unstaffed on 42 different days. 11 of these were due to safety concerns following a ceiling leak.
9) TfL maintain six green-roofed bus shelters, five in Lewisham and one in Westminster. They have no plans to install more due to the high installation and maintenance costs and relatively low biodiversity benefit compared to other initiatives.
10) Twelve new DLR units are now at Beckton depot, even though none have been used in passenger service for the last six months.
11) The SE postcode area has 472 Oyster Retail Agents, ahead of E with 429 and N with 381. The postcode districts with just one Oyster Retail Agent are CM14, CR6, DA9, HP6, KT10, KT18, RM17, RM19, SL2 and WD3.
12) If you ask 'How many people got smacked round the head by bus wing mirrors in 2025?', TfL will refuse to respond because it would cost more than £450 to find out.

(as usual, all FoI requests are clickable)

Also someone put in an FoI about the Bow Roundabout roadworks so I can bring you...

Bow Roundabout update #23

In this FoI we learn that construction costs for the whole Bow roundabout scheme were £1,882,513. We also learn that the London Borough of Newham took over management of the site on 30 March 2026.

Alas the new contraflow slip road under the flyover has never opened, despite being completed over 12 months ago, because it has potential low headroom issues.



It turns out that "the London Borough of Newham raised the risk of potential collision with the Bow flyover structure and requested a gantry was constructed to protect the structure". This was in July 2024, three months before roadworks began.

The FoI includes 40 pages of back and forth emails between TfL and Newham regarding the gantry issue. Newham said they weren't happy to proceed until they saw exactly where this gantry would go and what it would look like. They also weren't pleased that TfL's plans totally mucked up their long-term plans to add an eastbound bus lane here. TfL were mostly saying come on guys we really need to get this signed before time runs out.

TfL spent £29,861 to undertake a feasibility study into construction of the gantry, then a further £63,906 for detailed design. It would have cost £250,000 to build the gantry.

However they're not building it.

Instead "as an alternative to installing a gantry, it has been proposed to keep the slip road closed and implement a new road layout under an experimental traffic order." Implementing this "temporary permanent road layout" for six months will cost only £18,000.

In other words they intend to go ahead with Newham's bus lane proposal, the scheme the council had in mind before the roadworks started, and the slip road under the flyover will not open. Lorries exiting Marshgate Lane will have to continue turning left as they have done ever since the summer of 2024.



It seems that in TfL's keenness to get the roadworks started they built a slip road under the flyover that'll probably never be used. It took months to build because it has its own signalised junction and was the most significant part of the entire five month project. And it's all likely to be money down the drain, because it turns out a bus lane was a much better idea than a contraflow slip road all along.

The slip road under the Bow Flyover is thus, very probably, a complete white elephant. If you were inconvenienced while they were building it, it seems they were wasting your time.

Previous updates: #0 #1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6 #7 #8 #9 #10 #11 #12 #13 #14 #15 #16 #17 #18 #19 #20 #21 #22

30 unblogged things I did in April

Wed 1: My blogpost about TfL producing a new set of bus maps may have been an April Fool but Quickmap do a truly excellent Greater London bus map which is online here. I might have saved that jpg to my phone.
Thu 2: The West Ham chunk of the Greenway may be closed until (sigh) Autumn 2028 but all the lampposts are still lit after dark, illuminating absolutely nobody.



Fri 3: Norfolk day 1: Damn I forgot to pack toothpaste. Hello to my nephew who's just moved out of London to the ancestral homeland. Impressed by my brother cutting £100 off the Easter shopping bill by using Nectar points.
Sat 4: Norfolk day 2: My niece has to endure the rest of us discussing baby names. The first garden-cooked lunch of the year. Ah so that's what Acle looks like. Saturday Night Live is quite good but not worth getting Sky for.
Sun 5: Norfolk Day 3: Blimey that was a stormy night (thanks Dave). Thankyou for my second-hand books. Maintain a family tradition by hiding cardboard eggs around the house. Crumble and custard please. Thickthorn roadworks are bad.
Mon 6: Norfolk Day 4: The Classic FM top 300 feels overwhelmingly unchallenging. Find a government-issue box of hole reinforcers dated October 1979. Oh, I did bring my toothpaste after all but it was hiding in a side-pocket.



Tue 7: That feels like the closest the world has come to tipping into Armageddon since the last despotic madman made a lunatic threat. Thanks for letting us off with 90 minutes to go.
Wed 8: I see Radio 4's Round Britain Quiz has slimmed down from six teams to four, so just eight episodes this year rather than twelve. I bet that means they can record it all in one weekend rather than two, so it's just another BBC cost-cutting measure.
Thu 9: Gail's have opened a bakery branch in Stratford, admittedly in Westfield, but blimey! I remember being similarly blindsided when a Starbucks opened in Stratford in 2007.
Fri 10: I forgot the freezer compartment door was open and bashed my head on it, ouch. Best not do that too often.



Sat 11: A guided ramble was gathering at Knockholt station, and this woman who'd arrived early was wondering if there was a cafe nearby. You couldn't have picked a remoter station, I said. She didn't stop talking, or worrying, so I felt sorry for the other lady who'd arrived early and was her sole audience. And this is why I don't like going on group walks.
Sun 12: You'll be glad to hear that the family tortoise is getting a new run, that is unless you're my brother and you've got to make it and bolt it together before she wakes up.
Mon 13: Would you like to watch tube trains moving around the network like pulsing worms? Try londonunderground.live.
Tue 14: I hate it when my laptop restarts overnight and casually deletes some of the files I have open. I'd mind less if it warned me in advance.



Wed 15: I do not necessarily endorse Mr Dweeb in Crouch End, but it is a great name for a tech repair business.
Thu 16: Anyone could see who this year's Apprentice winner was going to be from the very early episodes, and I suspect so could Lord Sugar, but he still trooped through twelve episodes to get there.
Fri 17: Amongst the unexpected travel delays I've suffered this week a) a fire on the Westway b) a police cordon in Thornton Heath c) a logjam of traffic at Canada Water. Also innumerable bloody temporary traffic lights.
Sat 18: Gah, the newspaper's gone up again, last week £4.20, now £4.50. It was only £1.30 twenty years ago.



Sun 19: Six things I didn't mention in Bishop's Stortford: i) adverts for lawnmowers on the station platform, ii) a barber shop called Hairy Wolves, iii) the relocated water fountain iv) Baron Dimsdale's memorial v) the Stortford Shuttle vi) the night in 1967 when Cream were supported by the Teapots.
Mon 20: In partnership with On London, this analysis of local election prospects in all 32 boroughs is phenomenally detailed and a fascinating read. We'll see next week if it was correct.
Tue 21: Had a 25th anniversary night out on the town with BestMate which kicked off at the restaurant where we used to eat in 2002, then moved on to the pub where we used to drink. We ended up at the theatre to watch the Yes Prime Minister finale, which was good but nowhere near sharp enough.



Wed 22: Every time I cross Hammersmith Bridge I see three 72 buses parked at the bus stand on the north side, which suggests this recently rejigged route is substantially over-bussed.
Thu 23: Twelve days ago the tree outside my window was blazing with white blossom. Today that's all shrivelled and the branches are teeming with green leaves. The spring transition is so brief.
Fri 24: In Muswell Hill I was approached by a downbeat man who told me the buses weren't running, also it's too dangerous to sit upstairs after dark, and had I heard this Irish lad got stabbed, and basically you can't go out safely because London's so dangerous these days. I told him I lived in Tower Hamlets and it wasn't edgy it was absolutely fine, but I don't think I shifted his negative worldview.
Sat 25: Today I went to Chessington South, and I am very pleased with the consequences of this decision.



Sun 26: I was reminded that I don't have the football gene when a rowdy phalanx of chanting Leeds United fans boarded the train at Ruislip, absolutely pumped for the upcoming Wembley semi-final, and imagine believing in something as fervently as that.
Mon 27: If you enjoyed my 2020 post about low bridge signs, Matt Parker's made a much better video in which (with the aid of a Durham maths professor) he reveals how many possible signs there are and which of the 65 nobody can find.
Tue 28: Yesterday I saw a pack of 12 pens I wanted to buy, normally £20 but reduced to £13. But postage added another fiver so I thought I'd go to Covent Garden and buy it in person. Alas when I got there today a) the price was now £27 b) they'd sold out. Seize the day!
Wed 29: I don't suffer from hayfever but today I was snuffling and sneezing, just for a few hours, peaking in Kennington Park. Looks like the oaks were to blame.
Thu 30: How can it be a decade? Well done.

LONDON A-Z
I is for Ickenham

My next alphabetical destination has its own tube station, hence is perhaps not the unsung suburb the previous eight have been. But Ickenham is still properly off-piste for the vast majority of Londoners, tucked away in Metro-land between Uxbridge and Ruislip with a historic identity all of its own. Wikipedia suggests "no major historical events have taken place in Ickenham" and also lists no famous former residents, but it is still broadly interesting and very much not icky.



The heart of the former hamlet of Ickenham is the village pump by the village pond opposite the village church. The pump was sunk in 1866 and raises water 80 feet from the chalk below, the overspill from which feeds the duck-infested pond. The octagonal canopy was added to commemorate Queen Victoria's Golden Jubilee, its tiled roof resting on twisted columns and topped by a weathervane. It was nearly demolished in the 1920s for being a traffic hazard but thankfully villagers stepped in and told the miserable motorists where to go. The adjacent pub is much older, that's the Coach and Horses, its beams essentially Tudor and its seven HD TV screens only months old after a six-figure internal refresh. I didn't venture in because the pub was absolutely overflowing with boozy Leeds United fans who'd coached down to watch the FA Cup semi-final at Wembley, but I bet they weren't quite so upbeat on the journey home.



Across the road is the even older parish church of St Giles, its nave perhaps late 13th century, the chancel 14th and the wood-shingled bell turret 15th. The porch is mostly timber-framed and has just the right amount of wonk, visually speaking, but is probably locked. The absence of a clock is now balanced by a gold-etched sundial on the church hall, the inscription HEW MMIII MLW being two-thirds initials and one-third Roman numerals. I picked up a copy of Ickenham Church News by the gate and was struck by the dense list of throwback local societies (Flower Club, Bowls Club, Ballroom Dancing, Townswomen's Guild, Dramatic Society) and especially by the cordial invite to become a member of the local Home Guard (1944) Association Private Members' Club, almost like the 21st century never happened.



Perhaps Ickenham's finest heritage attraction is the Ickenham Miniature Railway, this the unique creation of the Ickenham and District Society of Model Engineers. They've crammed an inordinate amount of looping tracks and sidings into a very compact space behind the pub car park, this accepting either 5" or 3½" gauge rolling stock, and will happily whizz visitors round their mini loops aboard steam-hauled trolleys for a fare of £1 a time. If you fancy a visit the next monthly Open Day is this Saturday from noon, while at any other time you'll have to make do with staring at Ickenham St Giles halt through the iron gate.



The actual Ickenham station opened on the Metropolitan Railway in 1905 after the parish council pleaded for a halt. First it brought weekend trippers, then in the 1920s and 1930s it brought thousands of new residents keen to live in what was marketed as Ickenham Garden City. The station is the drabbest on the Uxbridge branch, this the inevitable consequence of the buildings being built in 1970. Step free-access arrived five years ago and an additional car park for disabled passengers is almost complete alongside, a £1.4m project which delivers just three spaces atop a hefty platform. Across the road is Ickenham Hall, a Georgian farmhouse with an even older listed redbrick wall out front, which was purchased by the council in 1948 for use as a youth club. Since then the 158-seat Compass Theatre has been bolted on behind as a real boost to the arts, where works by Alan Ayckbourn and Agatha Christie await your custom next month.



Keep walking to the back of the Glebe Estate, past houses that confirm pebbledash isn't always bad, and you can follow Austins Lane into deep countryside. This tracks a small channel called the Ickenham Stream, skirts some woodland where I disturbed a deer and passes a scrapyard with 'Trespassers Will Be Shot, Survivors Will Be Shot Again' written on the blackest of gates. Eventually you reach Ickenham Marsh, a nature reserve on the banks of the Yeading Brook, where you can either follow the path or yomp off freely across tussocks of rush and hair grass towards Ruislip Gardens. I adored the solitude - just me and a couple of ducks - until what sounded like a fleet of vacuum cleaners started up behind the trees, this because the runway at RAF Northolt is just a jetblast away.



Ickenham's chief river is the Pinn, a floodable corridor which divides the suburb in two. It's possible to walk along most of it, especially down south in Swakeleys Park where one side is bounded by a long ornamental lake. But the quirkiest spot is to the north where a wooded 30m square island is squished into an artificial meander in the river. This is Pynchester Moat, one of London's handful of medieval moated sites and a Scheduled Ancient Monument to boot. Its provenance is contested but they found 14th century earthenware and flint tools on site and also excavated part of a wooden causeway which used to cross to the centre. Walk the wrong side of the river and you'd never spot it, walk the right side and it feels like your own special personal fiefdom for the couple of minutes it takes to negotiate the perimeter.



The Pinn is one of the natural features being comprehensively assaulted at present by the construction of HS2. This launches from tunnel to viaduct at a portal just beyond West Ruislip and is starting to veer away from the Chiltern mainline as it crosses the river. A truly massive swathe of earthworks has been carved through the golf course and on across the Green Belt, the realignment of the river just one of the immense permanent changes hereabouts. To their credit HS2 have spent dosh on proper footpath diversions and also provide regular updates to local residents on ongoing works which this week include conveyor foundation removal and the installation of noise barriers. When they've finally departed a huge triangular wedge of Ickenham between Harvil Road and Breakspear Road will have been remodelled into three grassy mounds using spoil from the Northolt Tunnel, and if you've not been out here to see the gobsmacking transformation recently they hope you'll never notice afterwards.



The other local sight someone hopes you'll never see is Swakeleys House. This Jacobean mansion was one of Ickenham's two former manor houses, built in 1638 for the Sheriff of London (and future Mayor) Sir Edmund Wright. It has fancy gable ends in the Dutch style, an oak staircase and a lot of intricate woodwork. After the last owner sold it off in the 1920s, kickstarting development of the prestige Swakeleys housing estate, the mansion ended up in the hands of the Foreign and Commonwealth Office Sports Association and eventually fell into disrepair.



The house was restored in the 1980s to the benefit of all, but since 2009 the private owners have sought increasing seclusion, starting by kicking out the biannual Ickenham Festival from the grounds. They also now restrict public access to Open House just once a year, and when I went in 2018 all we were permitted to see of the interior was a hallway and a painted staircase. Since then the hedge they planted around the perimeter has thickened to make it very hard, but not quite impossible, to see the house, and I suspect if you come back in a few years (or in high summer) it'll have vanished altogether, the miserable isolationists.



More Ickenham mini-bits
» RAF West Ruislip was sited in north Ickenham from 1917 to 2007, the tenants for the last half-century being the US Air Force. The site is now an estate of 400 not-especially dense houses and as far as I can tell no memorial of any kind exists on site.
» A lone oak tree in a tiled circle beside Swakeleys Road is recognised on a headstone as Ickenham's 'Gospel Oak' where the curate and parishioners would pray for healthy crops on Rogation Sunday (but it's not the original tree, it's the fourth attempted replacement).
» There's a genuine sense of community here, exemplified by the fact a majority of the households are members of the Ickenham Residents’ Association. You've just missed the AGM but I get a sense from the quarterly newsletters that its priorities are caution and tutting, especially in the areas of planning, parking and HS2.
» The Swakeleys and Glebe Estates are served by one of London's 10 least frequent TfL buses, the hour-and-a-halfly U10.
» Businesses in Ickenham include Scentsational (florists), Suzanne's Dance Supplies (also school of modern jazz), Wick & Ceramic (candle workshop), Burgerbey (for halal patties), Maison du Soleil (for boulangerie and patisserie) and The Tichenham Inn (a Wetherspoons, not usually packed with Leeds supporters, Tichenham being the medieval name for Ickenham).
» The 1908 Olympic Marathon passed through Ickenham, this the event that set the distance as 26 miles and 385 yards, so it's not actually true that no major historical events have taken place here.
» The next Ickenham Festival will take place from 6th-14th June, with the big Village Day on Saturday 13th should you want to see the place at its best.

I was in Bromley town centre yesterday and thought I'd pop into the library to see the museum.



It wasn't there.

I found the display cases where the museum used to be but they were all empty, that is apart from one where a mannequin's torso stood alone, its former clothing whisked off into storage.

All was explained in a poster stuck to the glass.

The Bromley Museum collection has been carefully moved into secure storage while we prepare for our move to the new Bromley Central Library at 145 High Street.

And I thought, there go two more public facilities downsizing into something smaller.

The issue for Bromley is that the concrete 1970s building where the library and museum are housed is approaching end of life so they're moving out. The adjacent Churchill Theatre has been sold (intact) to a consortium including Galliard Homes, so expect a final outcome involving continued dramatics and a fair few flats. Meanwhile the UK's 7th busiest library will be closing for four months later this year, the shutdown recently postponed from March to 'just after the summer exams', before moving to a new spot on the High Street. Unexpectedly it'll now be inside a former Top Shop, which isn't normally where you'd find a lot of books.



Bromley's Top Shop has been empty since 2020 so sticking a library in there makes good sense, but it'll be smaller with 28% less space for adult fiction/non-fiction and 7% fewer books. The children's library will be larger so that's a plus, but the rest of downstairs will be mostly seating, a few bestsellers and a couple of meeting rooms insufficient to cope with current use. Upstairs (where TopMan, Miss Selfridge and Dorothy Perkins used to be) will be better crammed with bookshelves, study space and a rejigged Local History Centre. But when it comes to anything museumy all that's being provided is "a vitrine wall which displays artefacts from the borough archives", which if I read the plans right will comprise only three slimline cases.

The hoardings outside 145 High Street tell the history of the site: i) originally The White Hart Hotel, ii) rebuilt as a Littlewoods department store in the 1960s, iii) subsequently occupied by Marks & Spencer, Primark and Top Shop. More tellingly they also tell the history of Bromley's central library, which seems very much a rise and fall. A membership-based Literary Institute opened in 1845, as used by local schoolboy HG Wells, this enlarged in 1864 within new premises at the Town Hall. The first public library opened in 1894 and was upgraded to a proper Carnegie Library on the High Street in 1903, until this too was deemed insufficient and the current concrete hulk opened in 1977. 2026's shift is thus the first backwards move, but I guess in an age of digitalisation we should be glad it's not even smaller.



What's not displayed is a history of Bromley Museum because that would be too depressing. It opened in 1965, the same year the borough was created, within the former medieval priory at Orpington. All sorts of local treasures (Sir John Lubbock's archive, HG Wells's tooth, David Bowie’s corduroy jacket) were displayed in increasingly underfunded surroundings, until 2015 when the council closed it and made all the staff redundant. Instead they opened Bromley Historic Collections, a few thematic cases in Bromley Library which I described in 2017 as "a taster for a museum that no longer exists". Now even that's gone and all that'll remain in the new set-up is a scant wall of artefacts, which is gobsmackingly little for a borough of 330,000 people.

Other boroughs to have squandered their museums include Wandsworth (closed to save money 2007), Barnet (sold 2011), Greenwich (closed 2018), Southwark (squished into Walworth Library in 2021) and Enfield (decimated in the corner of a cafe in 2022). It's not all grim - in 2023 I awarded top marks to Barking and Dagenham, Ealing, Hounslow, Harrow and Sutton for their municipal offerings. But when the choice is paying for adult social care or running a nice museum a lot of boroughs have thrown in the towel, egged on by austerity, with cultural services often the easiest to cut.

Dozens of London's libraries have have been downsized in recent years, not just Bromley Central, or simply shut for good. Take Wood Street in Waltham Forest for example, a fine Fifties edifice demolished to make way for a nine-storey block of flats, its replacement a scant slice of books beneath another residential development. See also Sidcup, Uxbridge, Canning Town and any number of other libraries that are now fewer shelves in a smaller but more modern space. See also the inexorable rise of the self-service library, e.g. Cheam and Burnt Oak, these now cut-price study spaces without a librarian. See also offboarding libraries to community operation, e.g. Ponders End and Bexley Village, these still loved by residents if not by councillors. And see also libraries that open just three days a week, for example the three nearest libraries to Bromley Central (which isn't going to help when that closes for four months).



Then there's Post Offices, like this one I saw at the weekend in Uxbridge. Thousands have been downsized to save money, often shifting into counters at the back of other retail premises. Here in Uxbridge services moved to the back of WH Smith when the Crown Post Office closed, but WH Smith is now TG Jones and they're closing this branch next month and suddenly the Post Office is toast. Everyone from the local MP downwards is up in arms but nothing can be done until alternative arrangements can be made, so from 5pm on 30th May it's a bus ride to Hillingdon or Cowley every time you need counter service.

And there's banks too. We've had years of closures and general thinning out, obviously due to the uptake of online banking but with the consequent creation of financial deserts. Islington's Halifax is doomed, Woking's Santander closed yesterday and the Nat Wests in Barnet, Eastcote, Hornchurch and Orpington all shut next month. Here in Bow our last Barclays and Nationwide fled in 2021 but we do at least have Stratford nearby, whereas a lot of provincial towns are being stripped away to nothing and might get a paltry banking hub stopgap if they're lucky.



There are many reasons for all this public downsizing, most notably funding cuts, digitalisation and the need to scrimp more savings. But we're also losing a lot of public buildings, the foundations of a public service presence and places you can actually visit to do things. If we're not careful the next generation will have nowhere to go that isn't commercially focused, not that some downsizing isn't necessary but in the face of economic rationalisation let's try not to extinguish all the good stuff.

The Queen Elizabeth II Garden opened yesterday in the heart of Regent's Park. [7 photos]



It's two acres of royal tribute on the site of some former glasshouses. It looks both to the past and to the future. It's very nicely done if not yet at its finest. And if you turned up early enough yesterday they gave you a free souvenir booklet to tell you what you were looking at. I shall be quoting from it during what follows using regal purple text, just so you don't think I wrote those bits.

On Day 1 a queue formed outside and only one entrance was unlocked, but the long term intention is that all four gates will be open and anyone can wander through, just like any other corner of the park. This is where all the shrubs for the Royal Parks used to be grown until the nursery moved to Hyde Park in 2018. This left a brownfield site with considerable potential so a plan was hatched to create an amazing garden to celebrate the Queen's Platinum Jubilee. But following her death it became a horticultural tribute instead, a garden of colour and contemplation, of biodiversity and beauty, of memory and hope. In short some swirly paths, a few water features and a lot of nice plants.



The chief focus near the main point of entry is a generous circular pond which creates a tranquil setting with contemplative and reflective qualities. It's deep enough to float the stems of several water plants and shallow enough to see the pebbly bottom, also protruded into by a stumpy rectangular jetty. This is just one of the garden's carefully distributed features that provide punctuation points of interest and character or 'moments of delight', as the horticulturalspeak has it.

Another moment of delight is the long metal lattice on the landward side, this a striking pergola which frames the terrace. Take a seat on one of several benches and you can see where the climbing plants haven't yet made much of an assault in an upward direction. The pergola is made from several of the struts from the original greenhouses on this site, thus it embodies the garden's circular economy principles. It also has 56 struts, one for each of the countries in the Commonwealth, although as far as I'm aware there are no plans to remove one every time an existing member secedes.



Your eye will likely then be drawn by a tall brick structure, this a water tower retained as a nod to the site's working past and repurposed to create a landmark. It has a splendidly ornate whorl of blacksmithery on top, the fronds representing plants symbolic of the four home nations, also a small silhouetted corgi if you look really carefully. As the garden's highest viewpoint it offers a small raised balcony ideal for gaining a wider overview, this accessed via a teensy passageway likely clogged by white-haired visitors queueing for their own look. Five nestboxes await the arrival of mating swifts, a hi-tec gizmo broadcasting bird sounds at dawn and dusk in the hope of luring them in.

It's early days for the flowers but they do already look semi-spectacular, especially the alliums and the large floppy tulips. Species the Queen is known to have liked take centre stage, especially anything found in her wedding bouquet or funeral wreath like rosemary or myrtle. The agapanthus came from Windsor Great Park, their striking blue flowers a direct connection to her private estate... or will be when blooming season begins. A scant few daffodils can be seen dying out around the main pond, a bit of a waste because their yellow trumpets peaked long before the garden opened, but publication deadlines do at least mean they take pride of place in all the publicity shots.



If you're expecting normal soil no, everything appears to be planted in a pebbly sand. That's because it's three-quarters concrete from the former glasshouse site, all ground up in a sustainable manner, indeed you could say turning grey to green. Don't expect lawns either, indeed the gardens have a strict 'no picnics' rule because there's loads of grass elsewhere in the park for that. What they've really gone for here is a scheme that pushes the boundaries of sustainable gardening in an attempt to climate-proof the site. There's almost a Mediterranean feel rather than lush planting, all the better to commemorate the Elizabethan Age in a considerably drier future.

If you're wondering about the pattern made by the paths these supposedly reflect the Queen's personality. The central promenade reflects her unwavering sense of duty and service, because of course it does, bisected by a meandering path symbolising her long and remarkable personal journey. There are certainly plenty of peripheral paths to follow, from broad meadowlike strolls to cooler wiggles through the woodland fringe. One end of the main spine ends at a roundel offering a moment of quiet reflection, i.e. there are a heck of a lot of benches, also a looping inspirational quote uttered by Her Maj in a random Christmas Broadcast. This is where the mega tulips are, also a magnolia that looked magnificent a few weeks ago but has alas now shot its load.



The garden gets a tad less formal and more meadowy the further north you go, with occasional specimen trees that provide structure and punctuation. Here the ponds are more like gravel scrapes, the long grass less floral and the resilient planting occasionally brushed by an arcing sprinkler. The project boasts that it's 184% more biodiverse than the glasshouses that were here before, a fact it can't possibly know for sure at this stage. But I'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt because while I was rounding the rear corner a tiny newt scuttled out across the path and its appearance fair bowled me over. I lost it a few seconds later somewhere in the swale but how great to know that not everything you read in purple prose is greenwash.

If you do come to see the new garden don't forget to visit the Park's older more established gardens because at this time of year they're gorgeous. Just round the back is the St John's Lodge Garden, a meditative enclosure entered down a wisteria tunnel currently at its peak, whose manicured sculptural beauty I'd somehow never stumbled upon before. But the real treat is Queen Mary's Garden, this eight times larger than Queen Elizabeth's, a circular rose garden par excellence complete with fountains, waterfalls and thorny beds that peak in June. The joy of Regent's Park is that it has so many distinct landscapes, so how great to have another one.



The Queen Elizabeth II Garden is certainly a welcoming, fully accessible, climate-resilient space, also a garden of exceptional quality and ambition imbued with subtle symbolism that will inform the collective memory. Within this diverse habitat mosaic are a number of unique landscape settings with points of reflection and contemplation woven throughout. Take time to explore and to find quieter moments to pause and reflect, taking in many of the key moments of delight along the way. For this is truly an exemplar of how beautiful landscape design and environmental responsibility can work together to shape a garden of exceptional quality and ambition that is designed to grow more beautiful with every passing year. Her Maj would certainly be chuffed to see how the garden she approved has turned out.

How to travel free on TfL services



Ride the Woolwich Ferry
One of the finest ways to travel for free is aboard the Woolwich Ferry. TfL have a legal obligation to operate it thanks to the Metropolitan Board of Works Act 1885 (whose powers were transferred to the GLA in 2000) and are also prohibited by law from imposing tolls. There are thus no tappy pads on either bank, you simply head down the walkway and enjoy a free ride between Woolwich and North Woolwich, either lurking in the cabin or standing out the back amid the elements. Some might argue the views aren't great but I say look down at the swirling waters of the Thames and tell me that's not evocative... and all for nothing!

Ride the cablecar with a bike before 10.30am
If you've always wanted to ride the Dangleway for nothing, just bring a bike first thing and they'll waive the usual £7. The free offer only applies before 10.30am (which is good because the cut-off used to be 9.30am) and also only on weekdays, bank holidays excepted.

Ride a rail replacement bus
These can be a great way to travel long distances for nothing so long as you don't mind the journey taking ages. Next weekend for example you can take the free bus from Harrow-on-the-Hill to Chesham saving £2.40 or the non-stop replacement coach from Hammersmith to Heathrow saving £2.60.



Ride the Silvertown Shuttle Cycle Bus
This Mayoral freebie kicked off a year ago when the Silvertown Tunnel opened, TfL having decided it was a lot cheaper to run a bus shuttle than to build a bespoke bike lane beneath the water. The shuttle bus links City Hall with the grim end of the Greenwich Peninsula and runs every 12 minutes between 6.30am and 9.30pm. Latest figures suggest about 100 journeys are made daily. Anyone can use it so long as they have a bike of an appropriate size (2.14m long, 0.76m wide, 1.4m high max), while the bikeless can only watch as yet another empty vehicle departs.

Ride the DLR under the Thames (until 26th May 2026)
Another Silvertown sweetener is the Mayor's offer to refund minimal cross-river journeys made by DLR. Specifically that's journeys between Woolwich Arsenal and King George V or between Island Gardens and either Cutty Sark or Greenwich. Note that you do actually have to pay to travel, you can't just rock up, but fares on these very specific journeys are then refunded.

Ride any of the three Tunnel-going buses (until 26th May 2026)
The three buses which use the Blackwall and Silvertown Tunnels are the 108, 129 and SL4, and all three are free to ride. That's any journey on the route even if doesn't go under the river, which seems extremely generous, indeed every cash-strapped punter travelling from Bow to Stratford takes the 108 rather than one of the three full fare routes. Back to normal in a month's time though.

Take the train within the Heathrow free zone
Free bus travel around Heathrow ended in June 2021. But it's still free to travel by train between any of the Heathrow Terminals, be that by tube, Elizabeth line or Heathrow Express. Hatton Cross is also included in the free travel zone so if travelling to the airport it can be a lot cheaper to break your journey here and do the last leg for nothing. You need Oyster or contactless to open the gates, these methods charging you nothing once you tap out. Alternatively you can use the special machines at airport terminals to collect a free blue ticket, indeed you can print as many as you like.



Use a Hopper fare on buses and trams
Introduced in September 2016, the Hopper fare offers unlimited additional journeys within one hour of touching in. Technically they're not free because the first journey cost the normal rate, but everything after that genuinely costs nothing. It applies to bus journeys and tram journeys, also a mixture of the two, that is unless you try switching from tram to bus at Wimbledon in which case the software can't cope. In a particularly generous move, the Hopper fare also applies to multiple bus journeys in the space of an hour even if you make a tube or train journey inbetween.

Make 'one more journey' on buses
So as not to strand passengers whose Oyster cards run out of money, the 'one more journey' protocol was introduced in June 2014. It applies to any card with insufficient funds but not a negative balance, allowing such passengers to travel once. They also receive an emergency fare advice slip which reminds them that their card needs to be topped up before another journey can be made. Technically you're still being charged because you end up with a negative balance BUT if you present an Oyster card with precisely £0.00 in credit then your bus ride is indeed free.

Hit the daily or weekly cap
Again technically this isn't free travel because you've had to pay a lot of fares up front. But once you hit the daily cap every subsequent journey within these zones is free and this could be a considerable amount. Ditto if you hit your weekly cap on Friday then anything you do on Saturday or Sunday will cost nothing. Caps are also available for those who travel only by bus or tram, currently £5.25 daily and £24.70 weekly.

Get a refund for a delayed journey
You may be able to claim a refund if your journey on the Tube or DLR is delayed for 15 minutes or more. On the Overground and Elizabeth line it's 30 minutes or more instead. TfL may refuse if the delay was out of their control but it's always worth a try. You apply here and must claim within 28 days of the delay. Contactless refunds are only provided if your card is registered. Last year TfL paid out £487,460 in refunds so you might be missing out.



Be young
Children under 5 travel free, except on the cablecar or river services. Children under 11 travel free with a fare-paying adult (up to 4 of them). Children aged 5-10 get free travel with a Zip Oyster photocard. 11-17 year-olds resident in London get free travel on buses and trams.

Be old
On reaching your 60th birthday, Londoners can apply for a 60+ Oyster card which allows free travel on tubes, trains and buses. Free travel applies after 9am on weekdays and all day at weekends. Terms and conditions apply. On reaching state pension age (currently 66) you're sent an Older Person's Freedom Pass instead. A bonus for Freedom Pass holders is that the Elizabeth line beyond West Drayton to Reading is included. I love my 60+ Oyster card and bash it regularly.

Be disabled
A Disabled Person's Freedom Pass applies whatever age you are. Free travel is also offered to any blind or partially sighted person with a guide dog, to puppy walkers training guide dogs or to anyone boarding a bus in a wheelchair. Dial-A-Ride (for those unable to use public transport) is also a free service.

Have a different kind of freebie benefit card
TfL staff travel for free, as do their nominees, as do retired employees, also the engineers who maintain the ticketing equipment across the network, also some contractors, also Police Officers, Special Constables and Police Community Support Officers, also Armed Forces personnel (but only when in full uniform), also anyone with a Veterans Oyster photocard.



Use the DLR without touching in
DLR stations don't have ticket gates so you can always walk in and walk out at the other end, keeping your fingers crossed that nobody notices midway. DLR staff make regular ticket checks so you're taking quite a risk, also DLR stations are occasionally blockaded by huge teams of enforcement officers who will totally catch you out, but it's not going to happen this time... is it?

Only use ungated stations
A lot of tube stations have no ticket gates, or alternatively the gates are sometimes left open. These provide an excellent opportunity for free travel because you never ever get your ticket checked on the Underground, so why not just walk in? At least one ticket gate at Bromley-by-Bow is always open, for example, without a single member of staff ever keeping an eye on things. Of an evening the same is true at Plaistow too, so there's a journey anyone can make for nothing... and I bet they do.

Push brazenly through the ticket gates
If you have an inflated sense of self-entitlement you may choose to force open the ticket gates or dodge in behind a paying customer while grinning inwardly to yourself. Staff won't stop you because they're told not to, then all you have to do is get out at the other end and you've made yet another journey for free. This is of course illegal and there are whopping penalties if you're caught but you won't be, indeed I've not seen a ticket inspector on the Underground in years. For many Londoners, particularly younger feral types, the network is free all day every day.

Board a bus with zero intention of paying
Why pay for your bus ride like everyone else when you can ride for nothing? Concoct some cock and bull story about losing your card or struggle ineffectively with a beeping smartphone and the driver may just wave you on. Alternatively just stroll in and head to the back of the bus with a defiant sneer, as a tiny minority do, and save yourself the £1.75 that only losers pay. Some drivers do get impressively stroppy if you try that, refusing to move off until the miscreant alights, and well done to them. But on the whole if you have no intention of paying your way on a TfL journey then it doesn't cost a thing.

Five places I've been to in the last few days, and some thoughts.

Peckham - Rye Lane Market



I love a little arcade, a linear hideaway of trading units where you can buy anything and everything, the more independent the better. Such an arcade is Rye Lane Market in Peckham, a dogleg of glassfronted mini-bazaars stuffed with colourful goods and edibles. A quick wander reveals windowfuls of African tailoring, gold-looking jewellery, artificial flowers, dubious herbs, Peruvian hair, puffa jackets, churros, crystals, Caribbean vinyl, budget suitcases and of course an entire shop devoted to Body Shaper Girdles. I arrived so early that barely anything was open, just a hopeful guy in the phone repair shop and Heart Breakfast blaring out, so pick your moment carefully. But how wonderful that London retains proper retail catacombs like this, not just chain malls and overblown brand temples.

And I wondered, where else in London has chockablock grassroots arcades like this?
North: Seven Sisters Market
West: South Harrow Market
South: Rye Lane Market, Brixton Village
East: Wood Street Indoor Market (perhaps my favourite), East Ham (much depleted), Quadrant Arcade (Romford)

Enfield - Turkey Street Station

I went to Turkey Street and I saw these phrases plastered all over the station and I cringed.



» Create like a cactus without ration
» Another word for create is heavenly design like the North Star
» Even a unicorn can lose its powers when it stops trusting itself
» We are all weird so just knock your sadness out of your hands and bite into an apple
» Drain the beautiful struggle with play and learn to make your real life happy and happier

What awful twee platitudes, I thought, like a really crass set of motivational posters. Then I saw the logo of Arts Council England and wondered if this was an extension of the project that saw a sculpted fish/bird/squirrel/dog hybrid appear in the neighbouring park. Then I saw all the quotes were by small children - youngest 7, oldest 10 - which perhaps excused things slightly. Later I checked and it turns out these are micro-poems created by ten children at an after-school club convened by an arts studio focused on dyslexic and neurodivergent creativity as part of a project called Words Without Walls. This doesn't excuse the writing but I no longer feel the need to sigh, more to applaud, and this is why when it comes to art context is all-important.

Tolworth - Ewell Road



I found these plaques on a bench in Tolworth while I was waiting for the 418 bus. One's to Councillor H. G. Reynolds (1888-1959) 'from his friends in the Labour Movement'. From the tiny screed I learned he was born in 1888, became a Justice of the Peace in 1933, was elected to the council in 1934 and died in 1959. I presume he served the Municipal Borough of Surbiton, that being the local jurisdiction at the time. But I was more intrigued and unnerved by the other plaque which just said "Also to Mrs Alice Dorothy Reynolds who shared fully in his achievements". Poor lady, her husband gets all the plaudits and all it says about her is that she tagged along. There's not even a year of birth, just that she died three years after her husband (by that time sharing nothing).

I've tried digging further and believe Henry George Reynolds had been a railway clerk in his earlier years, a conscientious objector during WW1 and lived at 171 Douglas Street. I've also learned that the couple's eldest son Douglas rose to become the first Labour Mayor of Kingston, spent six years as chairman of the Friends of Richmond Park and was awarded an MBE by the Queen shortly before his death in 2017. But Alice's legacy is seemingly just as an erased hanger-on beside a bus stop in Tolworth, defined solely by her husband, and thank goodness society's moved on since then.

South Kensington - V&A galleries 70-73



If you prefer a more traditional V&A display than the sparse eclecticism of their new East outlier, try the Gilbert Collection in South Ken. It's also fresh but unveiled with barely a fanfare, a full-on upgrade to a second floor corridor and some offices to create a new home for some iconic baubles. Rosalinde and Arthur Gilbert used their real estate fortune to snap up exquisite decorative objects, many in gold and silver, with the express intention of gifting them to the nation after their death. They must have signed some mammoth cheques to obtain this lot. A particular love of theirs were micromosaics, intricate designs of teensy tesserae many of which date back to Roman times, so expect at least a roomful of those. Ian has a full report, but basically do drop by next time you're doing a V&A circuit.

Bow - Tesco

Imagine my joy when I rounded the frozen vegetable cabinets in my local supermarket and found the following array of goodies in the seasonal goods aisle.



So many boxes of Creme Eggs, both the standard and medley versions, all Reduced to clear and massively cheaper than usual. The label confirmed the price for five chocolate fondant eggs had been £4, then £2 and was now £1, which is an absolute bargain. It equates to just 20p each whereas the cheapest you could buy a single egg before Easter was 70p at Aldi and in some branches of WH Smiths more than double that. I stocked up. But I didn't go too over the top because every Creme Egg has a Best Before date of 31st July, and if you hold on through the hot summer the central goo soon hardens and the entire joy of eating one fades away. I mention this Bow stash in case you feel the need to dash round and replenish your stocks. I reckon there were almost 1000 boxes left on Friday (blimey, somebody sure overstocked) so they can't all have gone yet.

Clickbait round-up

It's time for another of my weekly summaries of the worst clickbait headlines on London's needier news websites. Now there's no need to click through during the week because on Saturday I'll tell you what the thing is they hinted at but didn't tell you. It's always a huge disappointment anyway, even though it sounded potentially intriguing up front. Avoid the pop-ups and evil ads that spam your screen, just wait until Saturday and all will become clear!

» The posh commuter town 30 mins from London where average house prices have dropped by 29% (it's Weybridge)
» The 'secret' station that's missing from most TfL maps (it's Battersea Park)
» Life inside the ‘overlooked’ London area named one of the best places to live where locals say ‘it’s the place I’m happiest’ (it's Plumstead)
» The little known park near Tube station that's London's best place to see bluebells (it's Chalet Wood in Wanstead)
» The North London walking route perfect for families where you’re guaranteed to hit 10,000 steps (it's Capital Ring section 12)

» This majestic castle near London is one of the most beautiful places in Europe (it's Sissinghurst)
» I quit London to raise family in Ireland instead but I miss three things about the capital (they're public transport, sporting events and the weather)
» The 4 new Underground stations we may get in next 15 years and 2 we definitely won't (it's the Bakerloo extension and the Metropolitan extension)
» Exact date 20C heat will hit London in new forecast (it's Friday 1st May, allegedly)
» I tried Kew Gardens’ sunset yoga and it left me feeling something I haven’t in years (it's a profound sense of serenity and stillness)

» This iconic central London park is officially the best park in the city (it's Hyde Park, according to a student accommodation company)
» The UK's most remote station you can't drive to but it has direct trains to London (it's Corrour)
» London’s most gorgeous hidden garden is looking pretty in pink as its azaleas reach peak bloom (it's the Isabella Plantation in Richmond Park)
» Is the London Overground affected by the April 2026 tube strikes this week? (no it isn't)
» Is Elizabeth line affected by April 2026 Tube strike? (no it isn't)

» This enchanting historic garden near London has just been named one of the most beautiful places in Europe (it's Sissinghurst again)
» One of London’s most historic train stations is being rebuilt with bold new features (it's Lea Bridge)
» I'm a Kent local — Londoners visiting the county this spring must do 1 thing (walk from Deal to Kingsdown)
» One of London’s most iconic landmarks is officially set to undergo a huge transformation (it's Smithfield Market)
» This 17th-century coastal inn is the perfect escape from the capital city (it's The George in Yarmouth, IoW)

» This immersive ‘time capsule’ in Spitalfields is one of London’s best kept secrets (it's Denis Severs House)
» 90s boyband star is now living very different life as a roofer in London (it's John from E17)
» This historic Holborn townhouse has just been named the best place in London for a solo day out (it's Sir John Soane's Museum, according to a railway company)
» This charming West London garden is home to a gorgeous wisteria tunnel (it's Eastcote House Gardens)
» Heathrow Airport says 'allow extra time' at security over common item (it's powdered food)

What I can't tell you is how Katie, Sam and Will sleep at night.

Tower Hamlets Mayoral election round-up

All nine candidates for Mayor of Tower Hamlets get to contribute to a booklet posted to all the addresses on the electoral roll, and mine's just arrived. I've read it, also the candidates' websites, and my word there are some ridiculous claims that should debar every single one of them from winning. Many also have many positive points but I'm focusing solely on the bad, thoughtless, inept stuff.... in alphabetical order of surname.

Zami Ali   Tower Hamlets Independents   (manifesto)
• AI systems embedded across all council operations. (oh god)
• The shift to an AI-enabled council means every manual process replaced by technology reduces cost and enhances human efficiency. (oh god)
• Every community centre refurbished as a Technology & Skills Hub. (the man's obsessed)
• £1 billion identified in procurement, waste, duplicate contracts, and inefficient systems. Recovered and reinvested, that is £15,000 in service value for every family in Tower Hamlets over four years. (but it's only £8000 for every household because Zami is focusing on families at the expense of single people)
• £0 Salary - 100 Day's Of Mayoral Pay Redirected For You (if you can't do apostrophes, you can't run a council)

Mohammed Hannan   Liberal Democrats
• Being able to use your local train station is a basic right that everyone deserves, whether its disabled people, those with mobility issues, or even those with buggies and young children. That Wapping, Shadwell, and other stations on the Windrush line continue to be inaccessible is not acceptable. (these stations don't have step-free access because they're Victorian, both already have lifts it's just the last 20-odd steps that can't be wheeled, if it was easy to shoehorn access into the extremely restricted space they'd have done it when the stations were upgraded 20 years ago, you're just moaning about something you can't change)

Hirra Khan Adeogun   Green   (manifesto)
• Solidarity with people of Palestine, calling out the UK’s role in genocide (the current Mayor's been doing that for years and it's changed nothing)
• Cheaper energy bills for at least 2000 households to start. (wow, what do the other 118,000 of us do in the meantime)
• Implement a new 'Pass-through Traffic Charge' for heavy non-domestic vehicles. This will not impact Tower Hamlets residents and those who work in the borough and will only apply to vehicles passing through without engaging with local businesses or residents. (that'd just send a ton of lorries through the Silvertown Tunnel rather than the Blackwall Tunnel, you muppets)

Hugo Pierre   Trade Unionist and Socialist Coalition
• A socialist mayor would bring unions and the community together in a mass campaign to win more money from the government. (cloudcuckooland, mate)
• Scrap developers’ greedy plans, build 100% council homes. (a worthy aspiration, but realistically nothing would get built for years while all the existing plans changed)
• Campaign for free public transport. (I think you've misunderstood the powers of a Mayor)

Dominic Nolan   Conservative
• I will see houses are allocated fairly. Houses for local people. More homes in the right places. (Dominic's text is vague, detail-less and written as if for ten year-olds)
• Tower Hamlets reportedly has the lowest recycling rate in England. I (you've sent your document to the printers with the end of a sentence missing, sheesh)

Sirajul Islam   Labour   (manifesto)
• The recent Government Best Value inspection made clear that Tower Hamlets needs fresh leadership to end the chaos. (that's not actually what it said)
• Restore pride in our streets (that's never going to happen)
• Reinstate the Victoria Park fireworks (you can't afford to bring back everything the current Mayor's scrapped)
• Remember: Only Labour can beat the current administration (you can show all the bar charts you like, but technically that's very false)

John Bullard   Reform UK
• Tower Hamlets’ finances are broken and only a Reform UK Mayor will fix it. (that's not true, Reform don't have a monopoly here)
• PUT LONDONERS FIRST FOR SOCIAL HOUSING (I'm not sure you're allowed to do that)
• OPPOSE HOUSING ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS IN HOTELS (well you can, but it's central government that decides this)
• END ULEZ AND THE WAR ON DRIVERS (we don't care, only 34% of households here have a car)

Lutfur Rahman   Aspire   (manifesto)
• Since being elected Mayor in 2022, my priority has been to make Tower Hamlets work for all. (I don't think you've included all of us)
• We are also proposing a brand new Whitechapel leisure centre with a new swimming pool. (this is the sole future policy amongst 900 words of what Lutfur's done already)
• Introduce a Public Health Service that is COVID-ready (hang on, your 'Manifesto' is just cut and pasted from 2022)
• I ASK YOU TO CONTINUE TO PUT YOUR TRUST IN ME (reminds me of Kaa in the Jungle Book)
• "Lutfur and Aspire have my full support, showing us what is possible when local government prioritises social justice" Jeremy Corbyn MP (I'm not sure that's the top endorsement you think it is)

Terence McGrenera   Independent
• What I propose for Tower Hamlets is to establish its own lottery, sell the idea to other London boroughs and help them to combine in a London wide organisation. It would be called THE LONDON LOTTERY. The proceeds would help to set up a property company to build, buy and manage homes for rent on a non-profit basic. (this is your only policy, you literally have nothing else, and it requires working with other boroughs so it's never going to happen, you're focused but delusional)

V&A East opened on the East Bank in Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park on Saturday. It's the latest outpost of the V&A empire after South Kensington, Bethnal Green, Dundee and the big Storehouse on the other side of the Park. It's also very good, also architecturally startling, also mostly empty. I visited midweek when it's quieter and took over 160 photos, which I've since managed to whittle down to 40, of which here you're seeing eight. To see the whole lot head to Flickr where you can experience the whole building as a walkthrough, also there's only so much I can say in words and you really need to see the place, ideally in real life. [40 photos]



Location: 107 Carpenters Rd, E20 2AR [map]
Open: 10am - 6pm (until 10pm on Thursdays and Saturdays)
Admission: free
Three word summary: eclectic creative stack
Website: vam.ac.uk/east
Time to set aside: at least an hour

Let's tour the five floors from the bottom up.

Lower Ground



If you enter from the waterfront, past the enormous black bronze statue, you arrive on a floor that's mostly occupied by operational backrooms so there's not much to see. The remaining public space is occupied by Cafe Jikoni, its menu inspired by rich flavours from immigrant cuisine. It seems a well-chosen cornerstone for the museum, not the fanciest but not cheap either, and spills out onto an external terrace. If not seeking refreshment expect a V&A greeter to point you towards the lifts or stairs... and blimey these staircases are quite something.



They weave in a distinctly angular manner all up the front and side of the building, the handrails sometimes protruding at an odd angle to negotiate an architectural contortion. Occasionally you might spot an artwork stuffed in an alcove, and at one point you find yourself behind the giant V&A on the outside of the building looking down on people entering. The stairs remind me of the Blavatnik building at Tate Modern, not quite as broad but creating a similarly irregular ascent. As such they're exceptionally photogenic, especially those connecting the lower floors, so watch out for lingering folk with cameras frustratedly hoping that everyone else gets out of the way.

Upper Ground

This is the hub of the museum and has its own entrance connecting directly to the rest of the East Bank. It also houses one of the two free galleries, a large space entitled 'Why We Make', the name emblazoned in white neon above two swing doors. What greets you beyond is an extremely eclectic collection of objects from puffy pink dresses to magazine covers and postwar tapestries to William Morris football shirts. Spangly tights make a central showing, also conical purple headgear, 17th century German marquetry and portrait-oriented videos. It wouldn't be the V&A without a row of peculiar chairs, and yes there they are on top of a set of extraordinary furniture designed by a bloke from Hackney called Ron.



I think there are underlying themes like 'Our Place in the World' and 'Breaking Boundaries' but unless you bother to read the text on the wall you'd never know. All eras are included but with a definite nod towards more recent creations. They're also more diverse than a stuffy west London museum might display, so as well as making you think "ooh that's nice" they should also make you think. Arguably it's a tad sparse because they could have fitted a lot more in but on a busy weekend afternoon you'll be glad of the extra circulation space. Rather more squashed is the inevitable shop, its contents exceptionally tasteful all round and with some items under a pound to balance out the inevitable coffee table fodder.

First Floor

Up again to Why We Make room two. This is more of the same, again with an emphasis on the power of creativity to evoke transformation, packed out with the utterly different. One corner's all about protest so has Solidarność posters, another focuses on the power of recycling including a replacement handle for broken teacups invented 100 years ago in Balsall Heath. I think the theme in the far corner is "even poor people can have nice stuff" although this wasn't the terminology used. Reassuringly everything has explanatory text, while some objects come with tetchy touchscreens or liftable loudspeakers you're supposed to listen to, even if I never do. I also didn't last more than a few minutes in the mini-cinema out back, but if you perch and watch the entire programme this could extend your visit considerably.



Keep going past the toilets and there's what looks like an emergency exit but is in fact the access to a first floor terrace. If you don't spot it you're not really missing much, it's a peculiar hemmed-in space where the best view is to the rear towards Stratford's newest wall of office blocks. It also offers minor trainspotting opportunities as the DLR and Overground swoosh by in an artificial cutting, but it's really not worth coming for that. And back to the stairs...



Second Floor

This is where the paid-for exhibitions go. For the opening months that's The Music Is Black, a celebration of British influence on music and culture - a pitch perfect start. It skips from Samuel Coleridge-Taylor to Stormzy via Winifred Atwell and Joan Armatrading and promises iconic objects, evocative sound experiences and multimedia installations. It's also £22.50 to get in, rising to £24.50 at weekends, unless you're fortunate enough to be under 26 in which case the fee is a much more reasonable £11. I think what put me off more than the price was the realisation that the exhibition space must be the same size as the two galleries underneath, thus not exactly enormous nor necessarily time consuming. I must however applaud whoever stocked the shop alongside, the museum's second purchasing opportunity, because the exhibition-themed goodies were spot on.

Third Floor

One final stepped ascent leads to the finest freebie of all, the top floor terrace. This large irregular space faces the heart of the Olympic Park, bang opposite the stadium, offering a stunning 180° view across the treetops. Look down the ribbon of the City Mill River and you can see all the way to Shooters Hill. Rotate to tick off the Orbit, Abba Arena and Docklands, then the aforementioned West Ham ground, then the skyscrapers of the City. Keep turning to see the hutches they're building in Hackney Wick, the Copper Box and the mast at Ally Pally... and make the most of the last two because when they eventually start building flats in the gap beside V&A East all that will disappear. It's just a treat to come up here to be honest, although if you bring toddlers be aware they won't see a thing above the wall so will need to make their own entertainment.



Hurrah there's one final bonus gallery and its inaugural exhibition made me cheer. This is Dispersal by Marion Davies and Debra Rapp who spent 2005-2007 documenting the businesses and landscapes about to be wiped away to create the Olympic Park. Their photographs show girders being coated at Parkes Galvanising, salmon being deboned at H Forman & Son and some fairly unpleasant things happening to meat, all at locations I remember viscerally up and down this slice of the Lower Lea Valley. What's galling though is how few photographs are on display in an absolutely enormous space, a couple of wallsworth of small annotated frames, almost like a presentational afterthought. I suspect the main use for this top floor hideaway will be as an events venue after hours, the hospitality pièce de résistance being the opportunity to clink glasses on the terrace outside, hence daytimes are a bit blank.

and back down again

V&A East is simultaneously a triumph and a wasted opportunity. It brings a world class museum to the East Bank, indeed a second if you count their Storehouse that opened last year - finally a building worth travelling to see inside. Its cultural offer is suitably targeted for the location and well pitched for the younger audience it hopes to attract. It's fun to explore, predominantly free to access and a memorable lump of architecture to boot. But I was struck by how much of the interior was empty space, not just the stairwell cavities and capacious landings but also across the walls and within the galleries themselves. It doesn't pay to be too cluttered but they could have scattered plenty more culture throughout V&A East, be that more exhibits, extra artworks or just additional stuff. It's a heck of a lot but it could be a lot more.



There are five times as many photos over at Flickr.
Hopefully the next best thing to taking a look for yourself.