Introduction I’ve been an Erlanger since 2008 and I’m the author of a few Erlang projects of varying usefulness and popularity, including Poolboy. Poolboy is used by Basho in Riak, 2600hz in Kazoo, IRCCloud, ChicagoBoss, and other high profile projects. Get on with it… What I’m trying to say is that I’m (hopefully) not an Erlang noob, so with that context in mind I’d like to get this off my chest: programming in Erlang sucks. I’ve built dozens of services in Erlang and written fair amount of Erlang code. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not all bad! My love of pattern matching and polymorphic functions is limitless. However, everything else about Erlang (the language) is clunky and cumbersome. Now for the pitch: Elixir is everything good about Erlang and none – almost none – of the bad. That’s a bold statement, right? Elixir is what would happen if Erlang, Clojure, and Ruby somehow had a baby and it wasn’t an accident.