Today’s recording starts with the end of The Twisted Whiskers Show. Will the nightmare never end? There’s a trail for Hai! Karate! Journey to Japan. Then it’s Shaun the Sheep – Shaun Shoots the Sheep. Two visitors pass through the farm, and take an instant photo of Bitzer. To thank him they give him a chicken leg. When […]
Show full content
Today’s recording starts with the end of The Twisted Whiskers Show. Will the nightmare never end?
There’s a trail for Hai! Karate! Journey to Japan.
Then it’s Shaun the Sheep – Shaun Shoots the Sheep.
Two visitors pass through the farm, and take an instant photo of Bitzer.
To thank him they give him a chicken leg.
When they’re leaving they drop the camera, and Shaun finds it.
He wants a picture of the sheep but it’s hard to get them all in the frame.
They finally manage to arrange themselves to fit the frame.
But the pigs have spotted what’s happening, and steal the camera.
They take some pictures. Shaun goes to get the camera back.
The two people who dropped the camera come back to find it. The farmer asks Bitzer if he’s seen it, so he thinks he’ll get more chicken if he helps them.
Shaun is beaten up by the pigs.
Although he does fight back.
He gets the camera back.
Bitzer takes the camera from him so Shaun asks him for a favour.
Bitzer takes a picture of all the sheep, but the camera is so dirty the picture doesn’t come out.
He hands it back to the couple who try to take a picture, but it’s still stuck. He cleans off the front of the camera, and the picture ejects.
They take a look at the picture. Then the rest of the sheep, still in formation, take a look too, frightening off the couple.
It takes pride of place in the barn.
Media Centre Description: Children’s animation. Set on a remote rural farm, Shaun’s flock lives a peaceful life under the watchful eye of their sheepdog Bitzer. Shaun finds a camera which some ramblers have dropped, and sets about taking snapshots of the flock. Bitzer is soon on the trail of the missing camera.
Recorded from CBBC Channel on Thursday 28th January 2010 09:48
Today’s recording starts with the end of The Twisted Whiskers Show. They’re doing fish now. There’s a trail for Saturday Morning programmes. Then it’sShaun the Sheep – Fleeced. The farmer brings the sheep into the barn, takes one of them, and gives it a shearing. It sounds terrifying and the poor sheep doesn’t look happy. Shaun […]
Show full content
Today’s recording starts with the end of The Twisted Whiskers Show. They’re doing fish now.
There’s a trail for Saturday Morning programmes.
Then it’sShaun the Sheep – Fleeced.
The farmer brings the sheep into the barn, takes one of them, and gives it a shearing. It sounds terrifying and the poor sheep doesn’t look happy.
Shaun creeps into the shed and breaks the clippers.
The other sheep start hiding, but Bitzer finds them.
They’re quite resourceful.
Bitzer locks them all in the barn while the farmer fixes his broken clippers.
The sheep have to try escaping.
It’s getting a bit Great Escape. Or Chicken Run.
They’re even disguised.
They’ve left decoy sheep in the barn to fool Bitzer.
Their tunnel comes out in town, near the hairdresser’s.
When the farmer finally fixes his clippers, the sheep are back from the hairdressers.
With many and varied haircuts.
Including Shaun.
Media Centre Description: Children’s animation. Set on a remote rural farm, Shaun’s flock lives a peaceful life under the watchful eye of their sheepdog Bitzer. The Farmer decides it is time to give the flock a shearing. But when they see his first attempt, Shaun and co. plan their escape.
Recorded from CBBC Channel on Wednesday 27th January 2010 09:48
The first recording today starts with the end of The Twisted Whiskers Show. There’s a trail for Relic: Guardians of the Museum. Then it’s Shaun the Sheep – Who’s the Mummy? Shaun finds some hen’s eggs hatching. Who then imprint on him. As a result they won’t leave him alone. Their mother discovers her loss and is very […]
Show full content
The first recording today starts with the end of The Twisted Whiskers Show.
There’s a trail for Relic: Guardians of the Museum.
Then it’s Shaun the Sheep – Who’s the Mummy?
Shaun finds some hen’s eggs hatching. Who then imprint on him.
As a result they won’t leave him alone.
Their mother discovers her loss and is very upset.
Shaun tries to hide, putting them in Bitzer’s lunchbox. It doesn’t help.
The mother hen is looking for her children.
Shaun can’t cope and tries to hide the chicks in a milk can, in chains, put into a suitcase and locked in the shed. Is he suddenly the Masked Magician?
But then he finds the chicks’ mother asking the other sheep and Bitzer.
He goes to fetch them, but they’ve already escaped.
He listens for them and finds them fascinated by a butterfly. But they’re in the middle of the road and there’s a car coming.
He has to rescue them.
He brings them back to their mother, but they’re still imprinted on him. Their mother is very sad.
Bitzer has an idea.
The mother hen gets a woolly jumper and hat.
Shaun has to make do with a hot water bottle.
Media Centre Description: Children’s animation. Set on a remote rural farm, Shaun’s flock lives a peaceful life under the watchful eye of their sheepdog Bitzer. Shaun comes across some newly-hatched chicks who think that he is their mum.
Recorded from CBBC Channel on Tuesday 26th January 2010 09:48
After this there’s a trail for Hai! Karate! Journey to Japan. Then the recording ends with the start of Gimme a Break.
The next recording starts with trails for Thursday Comedy and Too Old to be A Mum.
Then it’s How Earth Made Us – Water. Professor Iain Stewart looks at how water has shaped the Earth and its life. But he starts in the Sahara Desert, one of the dryest places on Earth, to show us rock carvings of animals. All of which need water to live. These carvings show that 6.000 years ago, the desert had plenty of water.
He goes flying in a Microlight to tell us about the water cycle.
He visits Iceland to talk about the role of Ice in storing and releasing water.
He shows a sickle blade, which represents Humans moving from hunting animals to growing crops. “A lack of water and a simple but ingenious response led to the birth of civilization.”
In Egypt he visits a staircase that’s carefully marked, which goes down to the river, allowing them to keep track of the level of the river.
he visits the desert in Libya to talk about the Garamantes, who were able to make use of groundwater, deep in the earth, to supply their settlements.
Next he talks about Monsoons
Here’s a Monsoon well.
He goes to Cambodia to talk about how the Khmers harnessed the waters of the monsoon.
He visits the Owens Valley Aqueduct, used by Los Angeles to effectively steal the water from Owens Valley and bring it 200 miles to Los Angeles.
Media Centre Description: Professor Iain Stewart continues his epic exploration of how the planet has shaped human history. This time he explores our complex relationship with water. Visiting spectacular locations in Iceland, the Middle East and India, Iain shows how control over water has been central to human existence. He takes a flight in a paraglider to experience the cycle of freshwater we depend on, and discovers how villagers in the foothills of the Himalayas have built a living bridge to cope with the monsoon.
Recorded from BBC TWO on Tuesday 26th January 2010 21:00
After this, there’s a trail for The Virtual Revolution and one for Mad Men.
Then the recording ends with the start of Muslim Driving School.
The last recording today starts with the end of We Need Answers.
There’s a trail for Newswipe.
There’s also (as Charlie says) a trail for Mad Men.
Then it’s Newswipe with Charlie Brooker.
Although the big news that week was an earthquake in Haiti, there’s not much humour or outrage in that story, so the programme looks more at how news is often confected, like a story about Muslim preacher Anjem Choudary proposing to have a protest march in Wootton Bassett, and, although they hadn’t set a date or even asked permission to have a march, the news was full of people getting angry.
Tim Key does a poem about the Taliban.
Charlie himself does a fake news report showing all the techniques.
Reporter Heather Brooke does a piece about the prevalence of anonymous sources in most news reports.
There’s a piece about Dappy from N’Dubz.
There’s a clip that I can’t quite believe is real, where an apparently real doctor says the words “With every hour of television watched, there was an 18% increased chance of dying from heart disease.”
Doug Stanhope talks about late night comedy hosts.
Media Centre Description: It’s the second episode of the second series and there’s the usual mix of contributors, reviews and jokes as the news channels continue to provide enough rubbish to make a show out of.
Recorded from BBC FOUR on Tuesday 26th January 2010 22:28
Today’s only recording is Mythbusters – Peeing on the Third Rail. This is actually an episode revisiting lots of previous myths. The first one is whether covering your body with gold paint would kill you by overheating. This time it’s Adam who has to get painted. Rather than peeing on a third rail, they investigate whether […]
Show full content
Today’s only recording is Mythbusters – Peeing on the Third Rail.
This is actually an episode revisiting lots of previous myths.
The first one is whether covering your body with gold paint would kill you by overheating. This time it’s Adam who has to get painted.
Rather than peeing on a third rail, they investigate whether peeing on an electric fence can shock you.
They do more testing on whether a mobile phone ringing can cause an explosion or fire at a petrol pump.
They retest the Ice Bullet myth.
The exploding breast implants myth.
They see what it takes to break a bridge.
They retest the Chicken Gun myth – whether there’s any difference between frozen and thawed chickens when they’re used to fire them at aircraft windshields. Adam didn’t think there would be any difference, Jamie thought the frozen ones would cause more damage. In the end, Adam had to admit he was wrong.
The description here is not for this episode, it looks like it’s from the original third rail episode.
Media Centre Description: Special effects experts test the bizarre claims of urban legends. The Mythbusters wonder how dangerous it is to urinate on live train tracks. They also test how many times a man can be pummelled with a barrel of bricks and find out whether eel skin wallets erase credit cards.
Recorded from Quest on Sunday 24th January 2010 14:58
After this, the recording ends with the start of another episode of Mythbusters.
All of a sudden, there’s 6 programmes today, and quite a mix. The first recording starts with the end of Sportsround. There’s a trail for Saturday Morning programmes. Then it’s What’s New Scooby-Doo? – Big Scare in the Big Easy. In New Orleans, some tourists get scared by ghosts near an old graveyard. The gang are in […]
Show full content
All of a sudden, there’s 6 programmes today, and quite a mix.
The first recording starts with the end of Sportsround.
There’s a trail for Saturday Morning programmes.
Then it’s What’s New Scooby-Doo? – Big Scare in the Big Easy.
In New Orleans, some tourists get scared by ghosts near an old graveyard.
The gang are in town for spring break.
Their hotel is close to town, just across a graveyard.
The gang are chased by the same ghosts.
They’re saved by the tourist bus from earlier, and Crawdad Mike, who tells them that the ghosts were two civil war brothers – the Leland brothers, who were on opposite sides of the war and they fought a duel in the graveyard.
When they get to the hotel they find the owner, Lorelei Leland, arguing with Cyrus Buford, who owns a nearby resort, and wants to buy the graveyard to expand his water park. She obviously doesn’t want to sell her family graveyard.
We also meet Lorelei’s brother Taylor.
Exploring in the graveyard, a possum steals Shaggy’s sandwich, triggering a chase through the graveyard.
Daphne gets strange gunk all over her shoe. They think it might be a clue and show it to Crawdad Mike, who tells them it’s ectoplasm from the ghosts.
Shaggy tries some Fire Sauce in his soup and it’s very, very hot.
They visit the water park to see if Cyrus Buford might be connected to the ghosts and get chased all around by the ghosts.
They meet Buford who tells them that the ghosts have scared off all his staff, so he can’t even open the park.
They notice that Daphne has gone, and they think she’s been kidnapped by the ghosts, so they return to the graveyard. Velma and Fred find a stone which activates lights.
Shaggy and Scooby find Daphne in one of the crypts, but when they go in the door is locked behind them.
They free her from her ropes by burning through them with the Fire Sauce that Shaggy’s still carrying with him. I question his nutritional choices.
Then Daphne gets them out of the crypt with eyelash curlers and metal dog tags.
Fred digs a hole to trap the ghosts, and they’re scared into it by a strange figure, which turns out to be Scooby in his new Mardi Gras costume.
“Sacré bleu! I would have gone away with it, too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids.” It’s Crawdad Mike and his driver.
Media Centre Description: Children’s animated series about a group of teenage sleuths and their cowardly dog. A New Orleans graveyard is the setting for a ghostly re-enactment of a duel.
Recorded from BBC TWO on Saturday 23rd January 2010 07:38
Then the recording ends with the start of Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab.
The next recording starts with the end of The Sweeney.
Then it’s another helping of Magic’s Biggest Secrets Finally Revealed.
A woman gets into an oil can full of water, and then passes through the bottom of the can into another clamped to its bottom. Another illusion where the magician does literally nothing.
He levitates a crumpled banknote. At least this is one of the tricks where the magician has to do it himself.
There’s a trick where a woman gets into a narrow box, it’s turned upside down, but she’s still the right way up.
There’s some magic writing which copies what’s written by a volunteer.
He divides a woman into three parts.
He puts a coin into a beer can.
The final illusion is a rather complicated three way teleportation trick.
Media Centre Description: The Masked Magician returns to television to defy his fellow illusionists and reveal the secrets that lay behind tricks that have astonished audiences for centuries. [S]
Recorded from ITV4 on Saturday 23rd January 2010 17:28
The recording ends with the start of The Krypton Factor.
The next recording starts with a trail for The British Family: Money.
Then there’s Newsnight at 30 in which Jeremy Paxman looks back at the news that shaped the last thirty years since Newsnight first broadcast.
There’s lots of clips from the archive, some depressing reminders that some things on the global stage haven’t changed, and some more amusing reflections of today’s news, like a clip of Peter Mandelson being asked by a Newsnight journalist “Will you be telling any lies today, Mr Mandelson?”
In the studio, Jeremy is joined by various politicians, pundits and other contributors. There’s Rebecca Front.
Neil Kinnock.
Chris Patten.
A S Byatt.
Martin Amis.
Tracey Emin.
and Jarvis Cocker.
Slightly to Paxman’s bemusement, there’s a congratulatory message from Dizzee Rascal in Sydney.
There’s an amusing look at some bloopers, in a tongue-in-cheek piece on the behind-the-scenes making of the show featuring Hermione Norris as her Spooks character Ros.
Richard and Judy: “People used to say when we did This Morning that they could tell if we’d had a row that day. And they were usually right. And I’m convinced I can tell when Jeremy has had a bad day.” “Can you tell if he’s ever had a good day?” “Yeah, that’s the tricky one.”
Clarissa Dickson Wright makes food for the Newsnight office, including a swan for Paxman.
Dara O’Briain bumps into the reporter making this piece in a TVC corridor. “What are you doing now?” “Newsnight, 30 years of Newsnight.” “Jesus, that’s a lot.” “Yeah.” “I kind of presumed everyone was getting their news from us now.”
The show closes with music from The Specials, who were at number one with Too Much Too Young the week Newsnight first went out.
Media Centre Description: Jeremy Paxman presents a special programme to mark 30 years of Newsnight. What have been the big shifts in British politics and society over the last 30 years? Studio guests from the worlds of politics and culture debate. As well as a look behind the scenes at Newsnight, there are contributions from Kirsty Wark, Peter Snow and Martha Kearney, and a reminder of some of the classic moments from the show’s three decades.
Recorded from BBC TWO on Saturday 23rd January 2010 19:58
After this, there’s an impressive animated trail for the Winter Olympics with music that sounds weirdly like the music from The Traitors. YouTube Content ID tells me this is actually the introduction to Michael Buble’s Cry Me a River, which I find slightly weird.
There’s also a trail for comedy on Thursday night.
The next recording starts with the end of Casualty.
There’s a trail for Too Old to be a Mum.
Then it’s Live at the Apollo hosted by Rhod Gilbert.
He’s joined by John Bishop.
Incidentally, the media centre description is from a different episode. But BBC Genome has the correct listing, so I presume there was a late schedule change.
Media Centre Description: Stand-up comedy from the world-famous Hammersmith Apollo. BAFTA-nominated actor and comedian from the Valleys Rob Brydon hosts, and special guests are funny lady Sarah Millican and Ireland’s very own Jason Byrne.
Recorded from BBC ONE on Saturday 23rd January 2010 22:08
Then the recording ends with the start of the news.
The next recording starts with a trail for The Virtual Revolution.
There’s also a trail for Mrs Mandela.
Then it’s an episode of The Armstrong and Miller Show.
Among the sketches in this episode, the two airmen listen to Winston Churchill giving a speech in their same style.
“So then I became a teacher.”
The unfiltered dad is too honest with his child (Tiger Drew-Honey).
The cuckolded man.
The racist satnav.
A regency dance with saucy conversation.
Their Flanders and Swann performers, with rude lyrics.
The man who tells all his friends that the half price pots on sale in several places around town aren’t half price at all, who’s then kidnapped by the half-price pot people who he used to work for, and who brainwash him to get him to come back.
The dentist who’s a swinger shares too much.
The Stag Night Karaoke where a man sings Two Little Boys and everyone there starts crying. Reader, I confess, despite laughing at this sketch, it did genuinely make me cry. I’m not proud of this, but this song has had that effect on me for some time. I am helpless before its eldritch power.
The man who’s cut his hand off while cooking for a dinner party.
Viewer feedback is getting rather insane.
The origin of Smalltalk.
Dreaming of a “Sleeping With a Whore Experience Break”.
Media Centre Description: Beneath the veneer of po-faced respectability lies a wealth of great characters in Alexander Armstrong and Ben Miller’s sketch show.
Recorded from BBC FOUR on Saturday 23rd January 2010 23:28
After this there’s a trail for Latin Music USA and Chemistry: A Volatile History. Then the recording ends with the start of The Thick of It.
The final recording starts with the end of a BBC Proms concert.
There’s trails for Latin Music USA and Chemistry: A Volatile History.
Then it’s Nerdstock: 9 Lessons and Carols for Godless People, a Christmas show featuring comedy, science and music, devised and hosted by Robin Ince.
Professor Brian Cox.
Mark Steel.
Robyn Hitchcock.
Ben Moor.
Simon Singh explains the Bible Code.
Music from Martin White and the Mystery Fax Machine Orchestra.
Shappi Khorsandi.
Baba Brinkman does some rapping.
Professor Richard Dawkins.
More music, this time from Jim Bob.
Ben Goldacre’s walk-on music is the Doctor Who theme.
Richard Herring reads from his childhood writing.
The final act is Barry Cryer and Ronnie Golden.
Media Centre Description: A non-religious Christmas celebration of comedy, science and music recorded live at London’s Hammersmith Apollo in December 2009. Stand-up comedian and humanist Robin Ince is joined by a host of leading lights from the world of science, including Richard Dawkins, Brian Cox, Simon Singh and Ben Goldacre, as well as musicians and top comedians from Mark Steel to Shappi Khorsandi.
Recorded from BBC FOUR on Sunday 24th January 2010 02:48
Today’s recording starts with a trail for Saturday Morning programmes on CBBC. Then it’s Shaun the Sheep – The Kite. It’s a very windy day, and a kite finds its way to the farm. It spooks the sheep. Shaun gets tangled up in the tail and it takes him flying. He gets away when the kite […]
Show full content
Today’s recording starts with a trail for Saturday Morning programmes on CBBC.
Then it’s Shaun the Sheep – The Kite.
It’s a very windy day, and a kite finds its way to the farm.
It spooks the sheep.
Shaun gets tangled up in the tail and it takes him flying.
He gets away when the kite gets stuck in a tree.
Shaun and the Sheep try using a mattress to bounce on and get the kite, but can’t manage it.
They try another method.
Shaun has another plan. I’d love to think that’s a genuine formula for what he’s proposing, but the presence of E=MC2 suggests not.
Shaun gets into position.
Shaun misses the kite.
He does dislodge the kite, though, and the other sheep chase after it, trampling Bitzer in the process.
It lands in front of the greedy sheep, who starts eating it.
But then a bunch of balloons floats over, and the sheep go chasing that one. Shaun and Bitzer kick back and watch. It goes on until late.
Media Centre Description: Children’s animation. Set on a remote rural farm, Shaun’s flock lives a peaceful life under the watchful eye of their sheepdog Bitzer. The flock think they’re in for fun when a kite blows into their field, but it gets stuck in a tree so it’s up to Shaun to find a way to get it down.
Recorded from CBBC Channel on Friday 22nd January 2010 09:48
Today’s recording starts with the end of The Twisted Whiskers Show. There’s a trail for Relic: Guardians of the Museum. Then it’s Shaun the Sheep – Saturday Night Shaun. The farmer gets a delivery, and he throws out his old record player. The sheep are interested but can’t quite work out what it is. Meanwhile, the farmer is […]
Show full content
Today’s recording starts with the end of The Twisted Whiskers Show.
There’s a trail for Relic: Guardians of the Museum.
Then it’s Shaun the Sheep – Saturday Night Shaun.
The farmer gets a delivery, and he throws out his old record player. The sheep are interested but can’t quite work out what it is.
Meanwhile, the farmer is setting up his brand new music system, but it seems a bit complicated for him.
The sheep set up a rave in the barn.
Bitzer is on the door, and doesn’t let the pigs in.
One particularly large sheep eats some of the records.
Shaun does some Saturday Night Fever moves.
The farmer gives up on his new music system and dumps it. The greedy sheep eats it.
The pigs creep in, take over the music and start breakdancing.
The breakdancing gets out of control and they destroy the record player.
Next day, they’re all missing the music, until the greedy sheep hiccups, and music starts playing when its mouth is open. So they can still enjoy the music.
Media Centre Description: Children’s animation. Set on a remote rural farm, Shaun’s flock lives a peaceful life under the watchful eye of their sheepdog Bitzer. Shaun finds the farmer’s old record player on the dump and organises a rave in the barn, but trouble looms when the Naughty Pigs gate-crash the party.
Recorded from CBBC Channel on Thursday 21st January 2010 09:48
Just one recording today, which starts with the end of The Twisted Whiskers Show. Today’s lunatic happenings feature an Oirish Leprechaun on a flying toilet. Really. There’s a trail for Hai! Karate! Journey to Japan. Then it’s Shaun the Sheep – The Bull. A bull has got into the sheeps’ field. Shaun spits a mouthful of grass at […]
Show full content
Just one recording today, which starts with the end of The Twisted Whiskers Show. Today’s lunatic happenings feature an Oirish Leprechaun on a flying toilet. Really.
There’s a trail for Hai! Karate! Journey to Japan.
Then it’s Shaun the Sheep – The Bull.
A bull has got into the sheeps’ field. Shaun spits a mouthful of grass at him in surprise, then compounds the error by wiping it off with a red hankie.
He gets tossed into the pig pen.
Bitzer notices how dirty all the sheep are getting so he orders them all to go to the sheep dip.
The pigs decide to cause mischief with a can of red paint and a see-saw.
Bitzer doesn’t notice the paint can landing in the dip until all the sheep have been through. Shaun was out already when it landed so he’s unaffected.
The bull sees all the red sheep, literally seeing red, and starts charging. Bitzer bravely stops him and pulls out a yellow card. Then makes the mistake of pulling out a red card.
Shaun gets Bitzer to order a red sheet, which arrives very quickly, and does some bullfighting.
The bull charges, and breaks right through the wall into the pig pen.
Media Centre Description: Children’s animation. Set on a remote rural farm, Shaun’s flock lives a peaceful life under the watchful eye of their sheepdog Bitzer. When a bull wanders into the sheeps’ field, Shaun discovers that it is a bad idea to make him see red.
Recorded from CBBC Channel on Wednesday 20th January 2010 09:48
The first recording today starts with the end of The Twisted Whiskers Show. This looks like such a bizarre show, the plot of which in this episode involves a woman freaking out because he’s lost the eggs for a meal, and she’s expecting the Archbishop of Canterbury – in America. Plus, it appears to be based […]
Show full content
The first recording today starts with the end of The Twisted Whiskers Show. This looks like such a bizarre show, the plot of which in this episode involves a woman freaking out because he’s lost the eggs for a meal, and she’s expecting the Archbishop of Canterbury – in America. Plus, it appears to be based on greetings cards.
There’s a trail for Spirit Warriors.
Then it’s an episode of Shaun the Sheep – Takeaway.
The farmer gets a pizza delivered. The sheep, and Bitzer, are very jealous.
So the sheep decide they want pizza too, and the take a scarecrow’s coat, stuff three sheep into it, and send them on their way.
They take the bus.
They’re ordering a lot of pizzas for the rest of the flock.
When it comes to paying, they hand over some buttons, a small comb, and a kazoo, which aren’t accepted. Then they find a frog in the pocket, and the cashier rather likes it, so they get the pizza.
They bring the pizzas back, and everyone enjoys them.
Media Centre Description: Children’s animation. Set on a remote rural farm, Shaun’s flock lives a peaceful life under the watchful eye of their sheepdog Bitzer. The tempting aroma of the Farmer’s takeaway inspires Shaun and his pals to go on a mission to the local pizzeria.
Recorded from CBBC Channel on Tuesday 19th January 2010 09:48
After this there’s a trail for Relic: Guardians of the Museum.
There’s also a trail for Hai! Karate! Journey to Japan. The recording ends with the start of Gimme a Break.
The other recording today starts with the end of We Need Answers.
There’s a trail for Mad Men.
Then it’s Newswipe with Charlie Brooker.
There’s a piece on moral (and other) panics in the news. I got slightly annoyed when he lumps the Millennium Bug into these, rolling out Peter Snow on the night saying “So far, it’s cost us about £250 billion to take on the bug” as if that’s some kind of gotcha. The reason the Millennium Bug caused very few problems on the night is that WE SPENT £250 BILLION TO FIX IT. It should be the template for all long-term problem solving. Grrr.
There’s a piece on the Underpants Bomber.
Tim Key reads a poem about said bomber.
Peace in the middle east is finally achieved as nations join together to create the world’s largest bowl of Hummus.
Doug Stanhope talks about fear.
The programme ends with a piece on recent snowy weather.
Media Centre Description: Charlie Brooker returns to wring more laughs from our hilariously troubled world, looking at some of the scariest news stories ever, and some jokes.
Recorded from BBC FOUR on Tuesday 19th January 2010 22:28
The first recording today seems to be rather broken. It looks like it’s a repeat of yesterday’s episode of Magic’s Biggest Secrets Finally Revealed but the sound cuts out and it generally glitches. I have been having problems with ITV4 recordings recently, and this one looks like it’s basically unplayable. Media Centre Description: The Masked Magician […]
Show full content
The first recording today seems to be rather broken. It looks like it’s a repeat of yesterday’s episode of Magic’s Biggest Secrets Finally Revealed but the sound cuts out and it generally glitches. I have been having problems with ITV4 recordings recently, and this one looks like it’s basically unplayable.
Media Centre Description: The Masked Magician returns to television to defy his fellow illusionists and reveal the secrets that lay behind tricks that have astonished audiences for centuries. [S]
Recorded from ITV4 on Sunday 17th January 2010 11:28
The second recording is another repeat of yesterday’s episode of Magic’s Biggest Secrets Finally Revealed. This one at least seems intact.
Media Centre Description: The Masked Magician returns to television to defy his fellow illusionists and reveal the secrets that lay behind tricks that have astonished audiences for centuries. [S]
Recorded from ITV4 on Sunday 17th January 2010 15:53
After this the recording ends with the start of The Professionals.
The first recording today starts with the end of Sportsround. There’s a trail for Hai! Karate! Journey to Japan. Then it’s an episode of What’s New Scooby-Doo? – Space Ape at the Cape. NASA are preparing for another space shuttle mission when a researcher spots that an alien egg is hatching, glowing and growing bigger until it explodes. […]
Show full content
The first recording today starts with the end of Sportsround.
There’s a trail for Hai! Karate! Journey to Japan.
Then it’s an episode of What’s New Scooby-Doo? – Space Ape at the Cape.
NASA are preparing for another space shuttle mission when a researcher spots that an alien egg is hatching, glowing and growing bigger until it explodes.
The Scooby Gang are piloting a space shuttle. Except it’s a simulator, of course, as they’re visiting the Cape.
They’re there because Velma is a finalist in a young scientist competition. She wins, much to the annoyance of the young boy who is also a finalist, Elliot Blinder. This seemed a bit weird to me because he looks about twelve, and I’ve always thought of Velma and the gang as pretty much adults, so it doesn’t seem fair.
Velma meets Janet Lawrence, a scientist working for ETIS (I guess they didn’t want to use SETI) who was monitoring the Alien egg at the start. She’s Velma’s hero. As they’re talking, there’s some panic and they spot an alien creature high up on a beam, looking down. Janet admits that this is the complication in her research that’s suddenly arisen, and has also caused the shuttle launch to be cancelled until the situation is resolved.
They look for clues. Velma looks at the remains of the egg. There’s organic material, and also some water which might have come from the tap in the container. Daphne finds some makeup nearby. “Maybe it belongs to Janet. I doubt it. She didn’t have any makeup on at the ceremony. And if you don’t wear makeup to an event like that, you certainly don’t wear it while working in your lab.”
They look for clues. Shaggy and Scooby find a dehydrating machine, and try it out, shrinking large good to very small sizes. Do they carry their own chef’s hats or were they just there?
They encounter the alien, which has grown a couple of feet since they saw it earlier.
One of the NASA officers tackles the alien, but it pushes him away. It chases Scooby who gets away by spraying it with cola and locking a door. A janitor arrives and starts examining the captain, who has a green rash. She’s not acting like a janitor though.
They meet Janet again, doing her work. She’s training a chimpanzee to go up on the next shuttle and do an important space walk.
Young Elliot is there and is caught with a folder of Janet’s project data, Janet tells him her data is off limits.
Elliot tells the gang he can help them. He takes them to a janitor’s closet and it’s filled with hi-tech equipment. “Jeepers, this looks like spy stuff. What would a janitor be doing with all this?” “Well, there was something strange about that janitor who bandaged up Captain Treesdale. She sure knew a lot about medicine.”
The alien returns, even taller.
Daphne is chased along a high gantry, but the alien looks down and gets dizzy so it retreats.
Another suspect is astrophysicist Keith Dale, who wrote a paper on Artifical Intelligence – the screenshot suggests the whole image is AI generated but this was made in 2002 so it’s not. Velma notes that Janet won her Nobel prize for writing about Artificial Intelligence, so perhaps Keith is jealous and is sabotaging Janet’s project.
Shaggy falls in a pool, and all the dehydrated food in his pockets swells up. And they find a transmitter on a security camera. Velma thinks she’s got enough information to solve the case.
Shaggy and Scooby lure the alien into the centrifugal force machine – although Scooby is in there with it. Velma spins the machine a bit to disorient the alien, then they open it up and find that it’s Janet Lawrence in the alien suit. Velma explains “Because her project wasn’t ready. Instead of facing the humiliation of admitting her mistake, she decided to keep the space shuttle from launching by coming up with this alien egg scam. That’s why she didn’t want us looking at her data. And that’s why she wouldn’t chase Daphne across the gangplank at the top of the tower, because Janet is afraid of heights. And the makeup I found in the lab did belong to Janet, but it wasn’t makeup at all. It was an allergy powder that caused that strange rash on Captain Treesdale.” “And only someone with a degree in biochemistry could come up with a freaky compound like that.”
“And I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling kids.” Reader, I cheered when this line was delivered.
The mysterious janitor introduces herself. “My name is Celia Clyde. I’m an FBI agent. I was sent here to monitor possible alien activity.”
Media Centre Description: Children’s animated series about a group of teenage sleuths and their cowardly dog. A shape-shifting alien causes trouble for a NASA shuttle mission.
Recorded from BBC TWO on Saturday 16th January 2010 07:38
After this there’s a trail for Saturday Morning programmes.
There’s a short animation – Leon.
Then the recording ends with the start of Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab.
The next recording starts with the end of The Sweeney. Oh look, it’s Tony Anholt off of Space 1999 as a bad’un.
Then it’s another episode of Magic’s Biggest Secrets Finally Revealed.
The first illusion is making a woman in a big skirt disappear.
A levitating ball.
The cigarette through coin trick.
Walking through a steel plate.
Twisting a Woman.
Some spoon bending.
Plunging a sword through a woman’s body.
Making cigarette ash pass through a hand.
Escaping a woodchipper.
Media Centre Description: The Masked Magician returns to television to defy his fellow illusionists and reveal the secrets that lay behind tricks that have astonished audiences for centuries. [S]
Recorded from ITV4 on Saturday 16th January 2010 17:23
The recording ends with the start of The Krypton Factor.
Just one recording today, and it starts with the end of The Twisted Whiskers Show. It looks very 2010 CGI. There’s a trail for Tracy Beaker Returns and one for Hai! Karate! Journey to Japan. Then it’s an episode of Shaun the Sheep – Still Life. The farmer wants to paint his farmhouse. The sheep gather round, which is spoiling […]
Show full content
Just one recording today, and it starts with the end of The Twisted Whiskers Show. It looks very 2010 CGI.
There’s a trail for Tracy Beaker Returns and one for Hai! Karate! Journey to Japan.
Then it’s an episode of Shaun the Sheep – Still Life.
The farmer wants to paint his farmhouse.
The sheep gather round, which is spoiling his view.
When he goes in to get more paint, Bitzer has a go at painting.
He tries to rub out his addition but that just smears all the picture. Shaun steps in and takes over.
His is an improvement.
Another sheep tries some “face painting” with her lamb.
It’s a bit modern for my taste.
More of the sheep have a go.
This is a new direction.
It’s all getting very modern.
They get a bit carried away.
The farmer comes out and sees the mess they’ve made.
But then a stretch limo drives up and someone offers him a wodge of cash for the picture.
Media Centre Description: Children’s animation. Set on a remote rural farm, Shaun’s flock lives a peaceful life under the watchful eye of their sheepdog Bitzer. The Farmer takes up oil painting and is determined to paint a masterpiece. However, when his back is turned, Shaun and the flock decide to have a go.
Recorded from CBBC Channel on Friday 15th January 2010 09:48
The only recording today is yet another showing of yesterday’s episode of Magic’s Biggest Secrets Finally Revealed. Media Centre Description: The Masked Magician returns to television to defy his fellow illusionists and reveal the secrets that lay behind tricks that have astonished audiences for centuries. Recorded from ITV4 on Sunday 10th January 2010 11:23 The […]
Show full content
The only recording today is yet another showing of yesterday’s episode of Magic’s Biggest Secrets Finally Revealed.
Media Centre Description: The Masked Magician returns to television to defy his fellow illusionists and reveal the secrets that lay behind tricks that have astonished audiences for centuries.
Recorded from ITV4 on Sunday 10th January 2010 11:23
The recording ends with the start of World’s Wildest Police Police Videos.
The first recording today starts with the end of Bronco Billy. Then it’s another helping of Magic’s Biggest Secrets Finally Revealed. First, The Masked Magician makes a whole car disappear. Then he pulls a car’s documents through a windscreen. He straps a woman into a cabinet, pulls the curtain around it, and swaps places with the strapped […]
Show full content
The first recording today starts with the end of Bronco Billy.
Then it’s another helping of Magic’s Biggest Secrets Finally Revealed.
First, The Masked Magician makes a whole car disappear.
Then he pulls a car’s documents through a windscreen.
He straps a woman into a cabinet, pulls the curtain around it, and swaps places with the strapped in woman.
He puts a woman in a metal cage, then saws through it.
He gets spirits to complete a maths problem.
He pushes a rose through a woman’s torso.
He bites a bit off of a coin and restores it.
Finally he passes through a whirling fan.
Media Centre Description: The Masked Magician returns to television to defy his fellow illusionists and reveal the secrets that lay behind tricks that have astonished audiences for centuries.
Recorded from ITV4 on Saturday 9th January 2010 17:23
After this, the recording ends with the start of The Krypton Factor with Ben Shephard. I never knew this reboot existed.
The other recording today starts with the end of I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead.
Then it’s a repeat showing of the earlier episode of Magic’s Biggest Secrets Finally Revealed.
Media Centre Description: The Masked Magician returns to television to defy his fellow illusionists and reveal the secrets that lay behind tricks that have astonished audiences for centuries. [S]
Recorded from ITV4 on Sunday 10th January 2010 01:48
The recording ends with the start of The Force.
Here’s the first set of ad breaks.
Here’s the later ad breaks. Far fewer because of the time, and lots of text services.
Today’s recording is Mythbusters – Lightning Strikes/Tongue Piercing. One myth today is whether a body piercing like a tongue piercing would make it more likely for you to be struck by lightning. In aid of this, Adam gets a tongue piercing. They have to test using ballistic gel heads, and a lightning generator. The next myth […]
Show full content
Today’s recording is Mythbusters – Lightning Strikes/Tongue Piercing.
One myth today is whether a body piercing like a tongue piercing would make it more likely for you to be struck by lightning. In aid of this, Adam gets a tongue piercing.
They have to test using ballistic gel heads, and a lightning generator.
The next myth is whether it’s possible to make a cannon out of a tree trunk. They consult a cannon expert, who sets off cannons in his front garden. He must be popular with neighbours.
They have fun building it.
It appears to work quite well when they first fire it, using a tennis ball.
A harder cannonball and more gunpowder shoots even further.
Part of this myth is that the cannon exploded, which suits the Mythbusters perfectly, so they load it up with loads more powder. They are not disappointed.
The final myth is testing all the different ways people have tried to beat a breathalyzer test. So they have to get slightly drunk.
Media Centre Description: Special effects experts test the bizarre claims of urban legends. The Mythbusters find out whether a tongue piercing can withstand the force of a lightning bolt, build a cannon out of a tree, and try to beat the Breathalyzer.
Recorded from Quest on Wednesday 6th January 2010 19:58
After this the recording ends with the start of Tattoo Hunter.
Today’s only recording is Mythbusters – Buried Alive. The first myth looks at the stories of people who have apparently been buried alive. One part of this involves Jamie being buried in a coffin (with a lot of monitoring). As it’s being covered in earth it gets quite scary when he can hear the exterior of […]
Show full content
Today’s only recording is Mythbusters – Buried Alive.
The first myth looks at the stories of people who have apparently been buried alive. One part of this involves Jamie being buried in a coffin (with a lot of monitoring).
As it’s being covered in earth it gets quite scary when he can hear the exterior of the coffin buckling, so they have to get him out.
Another myth they test is the efficacy of Cola for cleaning lots of things.
Can you survive a fall from a great height into water if you throw a hammer at the water to break the surface tension?
Media Centre Description: Special effects experts test the bizarre claims of urban legends. The Mythbusters find out how much oxygen remains inside a coffin for anyone unfortunate enough to be buried alive. Plus, could breaking the surface tension of a river with a dropped hammer save the life of a person who jumped off a bridge?
Recorded from Quest on Tuesday 5th January 2010 19:58
The recording ends with the start of L.A. Hard Hats.
Today’s recording is actually a repeat of yesterday’s episode of Magic’s Biggest Secrets Finally Revealed. Media Centre Description: The Masked Magician returns to television to defy his fellow illusionists and reveal the secrets that lay behind tricks that have astonished audiences for centuries. [S] Recorded from ITV4 on Sunday 3rd January 2010 10:53 After this, the […]
Show full content
Today’s recording is actually a repeat of yesterday’s episode of Magic’s Biggest Secrets Finally Revealed.
Media Centre Description: The Masked Magician returns to television to defy his fellow illusionists and reveal the secrets that lay behind tricks that have astonished audiences for centuries. [S]
Recorded from ITV4 on Sunday 3rd January 2010 10:53
After this, the recording ends with the start of The Saint.
There’s only one recording today, it’s Magic’s Biggest Secrets Finally Revealed. These look like they’ve been slightly repurposed from the ones I occasionally watched circa 1998, when they were fronted by Mitch Pileggi off of The X Files. He’s still doing the narration for all the illusions and reveals, but he’s no longer up front on camera […]
Show full content
There’s only one recording today, it’s Magic’s Biggest Secrets Finally Revealed.
These look like they’ve been slightly repurposed from the ones I occasionally watched circa 1998, when they were fronted by Mitch Pileggi off of The X Files. He’s still doing the narration for all the illusions and reveals, but he’s no longer up front on camera introducing the show. And there’s a new credit that I’m fairly sure wasn’t there in 1998 – Producer Val Valentino. That’s because he’s the Masked Magician, a semi-well known magician, but when the show originally went out, they were really pushing the anonymous thing, presumably because Lance Burton or David Copperfield might take out a hit on him. I remember watching the episode when he finally revealed his identity, and I’d never heard of him (and I’m a little bit of a magic nerd).
The tricks that are revealed in this episode are: A Guillotine trick. Probably the same one Alice Cooper used to do during his shows, which led to school playground rumours that it went wrong once so Alice Cooper is now dead.
He makes a coin pass through a glass table.
He makes a woman appear and disappear from a small box. Well, I say he – as with almost all of these things, it’s the assistants who do all the work here.
He does a variant of the Cut and Restored rope trick which includes a drinking straw as a prop.
He does a version of Houdini’s Milk-Can Escape.
He even exposes one of those tricks where you make flowers appear from an empty bowl, which seems a bit harsh, given this is the kind of thing that kids have in their 101 Magic Tricks sets, so he’s spoiling the fun of a lot of twelve year olds here.
He makes four women vanish from a stage.
You’ll never guess how this levitation effect is done. Never in a million years. It’s just impossible to imagine how this effect could possibly be achieved. I’m surprised he didn’t reveal the Balducci Levitation at the same time (look it up if you want a fun impromptu party piece). He’s probably saving it for another episode.
Media Centre Description: The Masked Magician returns to television to defy his fellow illusionists and reveal the secrets that lay behind tricks that have astonished audiences for centuries. [S]
Recorded from ITV4 on Saturday 2nd January 2010 18:03
After this, the recording ends with the start of The Sweeney. John Thaw is undercover.
Welcome to 2010. There’s rather a lot of recordings today, but having checked the schedule this won’t keep up. It’s the last gasp of the holidays. The first recording starts with a trails for Doctor Who and Gavin and Stacey. Then, as a kind palate-cleanser for having to watch the two Pirates of the Caribbean movies, it’s Muppet […]
Show full content
Welcome to 2010. There’s rather a lot of recordings today, but having checked the schedule this won’t keep up. It’s the last gasp of the holidays.
The first recording starts with a trails for Doctor Who and Gavin and Stacey.
Then, as a kind palate-cleanser for having to watch the two Pirates of the Caribbean movies, it’s Muppet Treasure Island.
As we started watching this, my daughter commented that the score sounded a bit similar to POTC and wonders if that had been inspired, or if they were both inspired by earlier Pirate movies. Then we got this credit, which sort of answers the question.
The film opens with Billy Connolly as Billy Bones telling everyone about Captain Flint’s Treasure.
Gonzo and Rizzo are interested.
So is young Jim Hawkins, who’s played by a very young Kevin Bishop. In these days he was on Grange Hill, and it would be quite a few years before he got his own comedy show.
Billy Bones is visited by Blind Pew and given a Black Spot – meaning the pirates are coming to kill you.
Billy gives his treasure map to Jim.
Other pirates arrive, looking for the map. Jennifer Saunders, as Mrs Bluveridge, fights them off while Jom, Gonzo and Rizzo escape with the map.
They visit a shipbuilder, Trelawny, but he’s not at home. His son is, though, played by Fozzie Bear. “Pirates, eh? Well, that settles it. We’ll use one of my daddy’s boats, and I will personally finance the voyage for the treasure myself.” “You’ll do that! Really?” “Certainly. What are rich, half-wit sons for?”
Statler and Waldorf are figureheads on the boat.
On the ship they meet Long John Silver, played by Tim Curry. At this point he’s the ship’s cook.
Sam the American Eagle is the ship’s first mate Sam Arrow.
Kermit the Frog plays Captain Smollett.
Long John Silver and his pirates among the ship’s crew mutiny, steal the treasure map, and kidnap Jim, then take a boat to the island.
Captain Smollett’s men follow them to the island and get captured by a tribe of wild pigs.
Wouldn’t you know it – they are led by Benjamina Gunn, played by Miss Piggy, who’s Captain Smollett’s lost love.
Cameo by the Swedish Chef.
Long John Silver finds the treasure.
He suspends Smollett and Benjamina over a cliff, and starts a fire burning the ropes.
Jim captains the ship to intercept them as they fall, and they are saved by Statler and Waldorf.
The crew capture Long John Silver.
That night, Jim hears something a finds Silver having escaped custody, taking a boat and the treasure away. He threatens to call the rest of the crew, Silver threatens to shot him but neither can do it.
Sadly for Silver, the boat he stole wasn’t seaworthy and if sinks.
Media Centre Description: Musical reworking of Robert Louis Stevenson’s classic tale, in which the Muppets take to the high seas in search of buried treasure. Young Jim Hawkins is given a treasure map by a mysterious sailor, and sets sail with his friends the Great Gonzo and Rizzo the Rat. But among the crew is the mutinous seadog Long John Silver, who has his own plans for the loot, and they end up being kidnapped by cannibals. Will the dashing Captain Smollett rescue them in time?
Recorded from BBC ONE on Friday 1st January 2010 11:03
After this there’s trails for Eastenders and So You Think You Can Dance. There’s the Archbishop of Canterbury’s New Year message, a trail for Doctor Who and for the League Cup Semi Final.
The next recording is Mythbusters – Elevator of Death/Levitation Machine.
It’s actually Mythbusters day on Quest, so I have seven episodes here. So let’s see what they’re investigating today.
First, they test whether it’s possible to build a ‘levitation machine’ with old vacuum cleaner motors, so Adam and Jamie both build makeshift hovercrafts and race them.
Also, can you survive in a falling elevator if you jump just before it lands.
Media Centre Description: Special effects experts test the bizarre claims of urban legends. The Mythbusters ask whether someone trapped in a plummeting lift could save themselves by jumping at the moment of impact. They also try to make a homemade levitation machine with a leaf blower.
Recorded from Quest on Friday 1st January 2010 12:58
The next recording is Mythbusters – Plywood Builder.
Can you evade a speed radar detector by doing things like covering your car with tinfoil?
Could someone survive a fall by using a sheet of plywood as a sort of parachute?
Media Centre Description: Special effects experts test the bizarre claims of urban legends. The Mythbusters test whether a man could glide to safety using a sheet of plywood after a gust of wind had blown him from a building. They also try to beat a speed radar detector, with tricks from hanging a disco ball in the rearview mirror, to covering a car in foil.
Recorded from Quest on Friday 1st January 2010 14:00
The next recording is Mythbusters – Quicksand.
Can an appliance dropped into a bath really kill you?
Can an MRI make a tattoo explode?
Can the Mythbusters create quicksand, and is it difficult to escape from?
Media Centre Description: Special effects experts test the bizarre claims of urban legends. The Mythbusters experiment with quicksand, drop an electrical appliance into a bath to see if it could be fatal, and ask whether tattoos will explode during MRI scans.
Recorded from Quest on Friday 1st January 2010 15:00
The next recording is Mythbusters – Exploding Jawbreaker.
The first myth is about jawbreaker sweets which suddenly explode and injure children. They need some way to test biting into them.
They also want to test whether playing cards could be killer weapons, with guest Ricky Jay.
The jawbreaker myth is being tested, trying different methods to heat them up.
This myth seems to show several ways in which a jawbreaker could explode.
There’s also a myth about a PVC pipe being sandblasted, turning into a massive static electricity cannon. Part of the testing is to build a van de graff generator, mostly just for fun.
Media Centre Description: Special effects experts test the bizarre claims of urban legends. The Mythbusters find out whether a hot gobstopper could explode and injure a mouth. They also ask if anyone could be killed by the static energy in a PVC rod, or a skilfully thrown playing card.
Recorded from Quest on Friday 1st January 2010 16:00
The next recording is Mythbusters – Ping-Pong Salvage.
Can a large enough number of helium balloons lift up a small child?
In the end it takes about 3,500 balloons to lift this small child.
The other myth is whether ping pong balls can be used to fill a sunken ship, and raise it to the surface.
It takes about 27,000 ping pong balls.
But the boat does rise to the surface.
Media Centre Description: Special effects experts test the bizarre claims of urban legends. The Mythbusters investigate whether it is possible to lift a sunken boat using only ping-pong balls, and tie a lot of balloons to a toddler to make it airborne.
Recorded from Quest on Friday 1st January 2010 16:58
The next recording is Mythbusters – Boom-Lift Catapult.
One myth is whether it’s more fuel efficient when driving log distances to drive with no air-con and your windows down, or with windows up and air-con on. When discussing the very long drive time they’re going to have to do, Jamie shows the special soup he’s made to keep his energy up.
The other myth is whether a boom-lift could turn into a catapult. When the original form of the myth proves unlikely, they instead turn it into something resembling a trebuchet.
Media Centre Description: Special effects experts test the bizarre claims of urban legends. The Mythbusters try to make a catapult out of a boom-lift cherry picker, but the raw power of a 13,000kg piece of machinery is too much for Buster.
Recorded from Quest on Friday 1st January 2010 17:58
The next recording starts with the end of Eastenders. There’s a trail for Casualty.
There’s also a trail for Survivors.
Then, after all the trails, it’s finally time for Doctor Who – The End of Time, Part Two. As with most BBC 1 programmes this Christmas it’s preceded by the Tenth Doctor special ident, but this time it’s with David Tennant doing the announcement. “This is the Doctor, and now the End of Time is Nigh. The Master’s in control, the Time Lords are returning, and it’s time to face the final battle.” Here’s that announcement, uploaded by someone who doesn’t understand aspect ratios.
After the big revelation at the end of the first episode, we start with the Time Lords meeting to discuss things. This is towards the end of the Time War, as they talk about the Doctor having the Moment, and he will likely use it on Dalek and Time Lord alike. But there’s a prophecy which tells them the Doctor and the Master both survive, and that they are on Earth. Incidentally, this seems like a disappointingly small conference table for Time Lords.
The Master has the Doctor and Wilf captive. Wilf’s phone rings, and the Master answers it. It’s Donna, who’s the only other person not to change, because of the events in Journey’s End. She’s being followed by lots of Masters, and she’s also seeing visions. “Why can I see a giant wasp?” Her head gets hotter and hotter until it emits a pulse of energy which knocks all the Masters unconscious.
We get another explanation for the Master’s behaviour, the endless drumming he hears in his head since he looked into the time vortex. The Seer on Gallifrey taps out the rhythm, a beat of four, and Rassilon (Timothy Dalton) says “The heartbeat of a Time Lord.”
The Master wants to know where the Tardis is, and gets a security man to point his gun at Wilf, but the Doctor observes that the Master hasn’t noticed that the security guard is taller than the Master, and he whacks the Master in the face with his gun. It’s one of the green aliens, and he helps Wilf and the Doctor escape.
Although the Doctor is tied up so tight he has to push him on the chair he’s tied to, even downstairs. “WORST. RESCUE. EVER.” says the Doctor.
Back on Gallifrey, having sent a message to the Master as a young boy, which is where the drums started, Rassilon also has to send something tangible to Earth, so he throws a diamond at a hologram of the Earth. Yeah, that would definitely just work, don’t think about it any more.
The Master spots the diamond falling and sends people to retrieve it.
Wilf meets the mysterious woman he’s seen several times before. “The day is almost upon us. But tell me, old soldier. Did you take arms?” He shows her the pistol he brought. “I brought this. But…what am I supposed to do?” “This is the Doctor’s final battle. At the end of his life, he must stand at arms, or lose himself and all this world, to the end of time.” She’s played by Claire Bloom who’s been in loads of things, including Ray Harryhausen’s Clash of the Titans, and The Haunting.
Wilf has a heart to heart with the Doctor. He offers him his gun. As with pretty much every scene Bernard Cribbins is in, this is making me cry. “You take the gun and save your life. And…please don’t die. You’re the most wonderful man and I don’t…want you to die!”
The Master makes a broadcast telling the Doctor that he’s found the diamond – a “Whitepoint Star” from Gallifrey, and now he’s using it to send a signal to them, bringing them to Earth. The Doctor realises he has to get their spaceship back to the mansion to stop the Master, but they also have to evade all of Earth’s defences. Wilf gets to do a bit of soldiering, in the rear gunner’s seat.
When they reach the mansion, the Doctor takes Wilf’s gun and jumps out of the ship, falling through the skylight and crashing to the ground.
Rassilon and some of his Time Lords have appeared in the mansion. The Master tells him that he can imprint his template onto the Time Lords too. “Oh, yes, Mr President, sir, standing there all noble and resplendent and decrepit, think how much better you’re going to look… as me!” But Rassilon just waves his scary metal gauntlet and all the humans turn back to normal.
But the newly returned humans might not have long left, because as well as Rassilon, the whole of Gallifrey appears in the sky.
Wilf has landed with the aliens and he runs in. He sees the technician locked in the radiation room, and gets in the other side to let him escape.
Rassilon outlines his full plan. “We will initiate the Final Sanction. The end of time will come… at my hand. The rupture will continue, until it rips the Time Vortex apart.” “That’s suicide.” “We will ascend… to become creatures of consciousness alone. Free of these bodies, free of time, and cause and effect, while creation itself ceases to be.”
There’s a tense scene when the Doctor starts pointing the gun, first at Rassilon, then at the Master, then back again, with lots of dialogue about whether he really could do it, or should do it, or who he should kill. Rassilon goads him. “The final act of your life is murder. But which one of us?”
But the Doctor turns back to the Master. Then tells him “Get out of the way.” The Master pauses for a second, realises what he means, and steps away letting the Doctor shoot the machine making the link to the Time Lords.
“The link is broken. Back into the Time War, Rassilon. Back into hell.” “You’ll die with me, Doctor.” “I know.”
But the Master says “Get out of the way” to the Doctor. Who obliges. And he zaps Rassilon with his magic lightning powers we saw in the previous episode. “You did this to me! All of my life! You made me!” He keeps firing, getting closer until they all fade out, as does Gallifrey.
So all is well, and the Doctor is still alive. Then he hears four knocks. It’s Wilf, still stuck in the radiation absorption chamber. And the Doctor realises that to get him out, he has to go into the other chamber, But because the system has overloaded, that will cause all of the excess radiation to flood the chamber and kill him. I have to admit, the dialogue here isn’t my favourite, as the Doctor is railing against the unfairness of it, but it sounds like he’s being nasty to Wilf, and that just won’t do.
Wilf tells him he shouldn’t. “No…no, no, please, please don’t. No, don’t. Don’t… Please don’t! Please!” “Wilfred…it’s my honour.” That’s more like it.
He absorbs all the radiation. But he doesn’t die quite yet.
Wilf is pleased to see he’s still alive.
Back on Earth, Donna has been brought home by boyfriend Shaun. She doesn’t know what happened. “Did I miss something…again?”
The Doctor brings Wilf home. He tells him he’ll see him later, one more time.
Then we see him helping out Martha and Mickey, stunning a Sontaran which is shooting at them.
In Bannerman Road, he saves Luke from being run over as he’s crossing the road while talking on his phone.
Sarah Jane sees him from a distance as he waves goodbye.
So that’s two friends he’s saved from possible death. Next he visits a space bar, and passes a note to Captain Jack telling him that the young man next to him at the bar is called Alonso. Yes, since he obviously can’t save Captain Jack’s life, he can at least set him up on a date with Midshipman Frame from Voyage of the Damned.
Then he visits a signing by the great-granddaughter of Joan Redfern, from Human Nature who found her diary in the attic and has turned it into a book. He asks her “Was she happy…in the end?” “Yes. Yes, she was. Were you?” In a lovely nod to the creators of Doctor Who, her name is Verity Newman.
Next we’re at Donna’s Wedding.
Sylvia and Wilf spot the Doctor and go to see him. He gives them a present for Donna. “Thing is, I never carry money. So I just popped back in time, borrowed a quid off a really lovely man. Geoffrey Noble, his name was. “Have it,” he said. “Have that on me.”” When Donna opens it it’s a lottery ticket. Sylvia and Wilf both give each other an “Oh my god” look.
Wilf salutes the Doctor as he leaves.
His final trip is to the Powell estate. Rose Tyler and Jackie Tyler are walking and chatting.
Jackie goes off, probably to another party, and Rose walks home. The Doctor meets her. “You all right, mate?” “Yeah.” “Too much to drink?” “Something like that.” “Maybe it’s time you went home.” “Yeah.” “Anyway… Happy New Year.” “And you. What year is this?” “Blimey, how much have you had?! 2005. January 1st.” “2005. Tell you what… ..I bet you’re going to have a really great year.”
The Doctor walks back to the Tardis, now in some pain. He sees an Ood. “We will sing to you, Doctor. The universe will sing you to your sleep. This song is ending. But the story never ends.”
“I don’t want to go.”
Naturally, I am in pieces at many points during that episode, you will not be surprised to hear.
Media Centre Description: The Doctor faces the end of his life, as the Master’s victory unleashes the greatest terror of all.
Recorded from BBC ONE on Friday 1st January 2010 18:38
After this there’s a trail for Gavin and Stacey and the recording ends with the start of Eastenders.
The next recording is Mythbusters – Bug Bomb.
Does talking to plants, or playing music to them, make them grow better? Does playing them abuse have the opposite effect? What’s better, classical or death metal? They have to record the positive or negative messages for the experiment.
Could filling a house with an excessive amount of bug bomb spray, and having an ignition source, cause the house to be blown up?
Can they find a needle in a haystack?
Measuring the plants, they find that the ones played music did better than the ones played speech, and that Death Metal does better than classical.
Media Centre Description: Special effects experts test the bizarre claims of urban legends. The Mythbusters go to an empty flat to see if toxic fumes and bug bombs are an explosive combination. Plus, finding a needle in a haystack and talking to plants.
Recorded from Quest on Friday 1st January 2010 19:00
The final recording tonight is Notting Hill.
Hugh Grant plays William Thacker, who lives in Notting Hill, and runs a travel bookshop.
There’s a cameo from Dylan Moran as a shoplifter.
Julia Roberts plays famous American actress Anna Scott who he first meets in the bookshop as she’s browsing, and then shortly afterwards when he bumps into her on the street and pours orange juice all over her. Despite this, they seem to hit it off.
She invites him to meet her at her hotel, but rather than being a quite affair, she’s actually at a press junket for her new movie. Julian Rhind-Tutt is there as a journalist from Time Out.
John Shrapnel is her publicist.
Even more embarrassingly, he also has to talk to the other actors on the film, which includes Clarke Peters.
He invites her to his younger sister’s birthday meal, where she meets some of his friends, like Bella (Gina McKee).
Her husband Max, played by Tim McInnerny.
Their friend Bernie, played by Hugh Bonneville.
Emma Chambers plays his sister Honey.
Things get slightly awkward when Anna’s American boyfriend arrives suddenly, played by Alec Baldwin.
So his friends try to set him up with some other girls, including Emily Mortimer.
After a while, though, Anna turns up at Williams’s house, very upset because some naked pictures of her have leaked from a photoshoot. And they end up in bed.
The next morning, the British press have discovered that Anna is there. Anna is very upset by this.
His flatmate Spike, played by Rhys Ifans, rather likes it.
Some time later, William learns that Anna is filming on Hampstead Heath, and he visits the set. She doesn’t seem upset to see him, and invites him to watch the filming and listen on the sound feed. But he hears her talking to a co-star, played by Samuel West. “So who’s that rather diffident chap I saw you talking to around the back?” “No one. Just some guy from the past. That’s a bit of an awkward situation, really. I don’t know what he’s doing here.” He’s upset by this and leaves.
She comes to the shop and tells him she said that because the actor is a notorious gossiper. And she also makes a big speech about wanting to get back together. “The fame thing isn’t really real, you know. And don’t forget, I’m also just a girl standing in front of a boy asking him to love her.” But he declines, saying that he’s not sure he could survive another break up when there’s so many things that will remind him of her.
He tells his friends what he’s decided, but as he’s telling them he realises what a terrible mistake he’s made, so there’s a mad dash to catch her, which ends up at another press conference. She’s telling the journalist that she’s leaving England tomorrow. Someone asks about the photos of her with William. She says they’re just friends. Finally William gets to ask a question. “Miss Scott, are there any circumstances in which the two of you might be more than just good friends?” “I hoped there would be, but no, I’m… assured there aren’t.” “I was just wondering if, uh… it turned out that Mr. Thacker realized he’d been a daft prick and got down on his knees and begged you to reconsider whether you would, in fact, then reconsider.” “Yes, I believe I would.”
“Right, uh, Dominic, if you’d like to ask your question again…” “Yeah? Anna, how long are you intending to stay here in Britain?” “Indefinitely.”
There’s a montage at the end, including this shot of them walking the red carpet at the Empire Leicester Square. Except it’s probably not called the Empire any more.
Media Centre Description: Romantic comedy about the relationship between a famous American movie actress and an unassuming British book shop owner. When the pair meet by chance in the Notting Hill area of London, love immediately blossoms. But the pressures of fame threaten to scupper their romance, and it takes the intervention of the man’s scruffy but kind-hearted housemate to set them on the right path.
Recorded from ITV2 on Friday 1st January 2010 23:48
After this the recording ends with the start of Coronation Street.
Here’s a mammoth compilation of all the ad breaks in all the Mythbusters today.
The first recording is a repeat of Space 1999 – The Dorcons. Media Centre Description: The Dorcons: Sci-fi drama series about space-age castaways. The Dorcons – the most powerful race in the galaxy – demand that the Alphans hand Maya over to them. Recorded from ITV4 on Thursday 31st December 2009 09:23 The recording ends with […]
Media Centre Description: The Dorcons: Sci-fi drama series about space-age castaways. The Dorcons – the most powerful race in the galaxy – demand that the Alphans hand Maya over to them.
Recorded from ITV4 on Thursday 31st December 2009 09:23
The recording ends with the start of The Champions.
The next recording is a later showing of the same episode of Space 1999.
Media Centre Description: The Dorcons: Sci-fi drama series about space-age castaways. The Dorcons – the most powerful race in the galaxy – demand that the Alphans hand Maya over to them.
Recorded from ITV4 on Thursday 31st December 2009 13:53
The recording ends with the start of The Force. About the police, not Jedi Knights.
The next recording starts with the weather and trails for Eastenders and So You Think You Can Dance?
Then it’s Princess Diaries 2: The Royal Engagement, the sequel to the film we saw recently.
Mia has graduated from college, and is returning to Genovia and her 21st birthday celebration. I love this special affects shot, for some reason.
One of the traditions is that on her 21st birthday, Princess Mia has to dance with all eligible bachelors in Genovia. I presume ‘eligible’ in this context does not simply mean they’re single, otherwise this would be a very long dance.
They’re not all hopeless. One of them is Chris Pine.
Mia is going to succeed to the throne this year, when Queen Clarisse steps down. But one man in the country’s government has different ideas. He’s Viscount Mabry (John Rhys-Davies) and he invokes an old law, which hasn’t been enforced for a long time, that a princess can only succeed to the throne if she’s married. And because she’s not married, he tells them that his nephew, Lord Deveraux, also almost 21 and also in the line of succession, is prepared to step up and become king. The parliament votes to give Mia 30 days to get married, otherwise she’ll lose the right of succession. The patriarchy, huh?
In a shock twist, the Lord Deveraux he was talking about is Chris Pine. He tells him that they should cheat in order to prevent Mia from marrying. He’s a great fan of Niccolo Machiavelli.
Mia does get some good news when her schoolfriend Lilly comes to visit.
They have to find a suitable husband for Mia. She likes the idea of Prince William, but he’s ineligible because he’s already in line for the throne.
But the candidate they settle on is Andrew Jacoby, played by Callum Blue, who’s perfectly nice, and so probably won’t get far. But they do get engaged, as it’s the right thing to do.
While all this is happening, Joe and the Queen are discussing their future. “In less than a month, you will no longer be queen, and I will no longer be your head of security. I think it’s time we bring our friendship out of the shadows.” But the Queen is still thinking about her duties, and Joe takes this as reluctance, and backs off.
One of the things Mia has to do at her coronation is fire a burning arrow into a fire ring. But she’s having trouble learning to shoot. I don’t quite understand how she can be as bad as it’s shown here, where all her stray arrows come within feet of other people. Haven’t these people heard about health and safety.
Viscount Mabrey contrives to spook a horse Mia is riding for an inspection. Joe finds him and warns him. “Viscount, you may not be aware of what my job entails as the royal head of security. My job is to protect the crown, to make sure no harm comes to the crown, to step in when someone toys with the crown’s emotions, you see.” “I think the entire country understands how well you cater for the crown’s emotions.” “If you hurt my girl, you will answer directly to me, and whatever crimes I commit against you, remember, I have diplomatic immunity in 46 countries,” He’s still my favourite character.
Nicholas is still trying to romance Mia. But is he just doing his uncle’s bidding, or is there more to it?
Mia is growing into a great potential queen. During the Independence Day parade she sees a little girl being bullied, and goes to talk to her, discovering that she’s one of quite a few orphans, and she tells them that they all deserve to be princesses. This also spurs her to create a new centre for orphans. I like that the film is showing her growing into her new role.
For her hen party, she invites young princesses from all over the world and basically have a slumber party. Part of it is using mattresses to slide down stairs. The Queen joins in and shows her way to race down.
The film also corrects an egregious error with the first film, and gives Julie Andrews a chance to do a bit of singing, accompanied by Raven.
We learn that Nicholas doesn’t agree with his Uncle’s plans. “She’s… she’s smart, and she really cares about Genovia. Maybe… well, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if she ran the country.” “Are you mad?” “She believes in Genovia so much that she’s convinced herself to marry someone that she knows she can never love.”
He gives her some advice on her archery, as she’s still shooting arrows at members of her staff.
He returns that evening, and persuades her to come outside with him, where they talk all night. But in the morning, when they wake up, Mia sees a reporter hiding in a boat across the lake. She believes that Nicholas set her up to derail her wedding, but Nicholas didn’t know anything about the reporter – they were sent by his Uncle.
Andrew has seen the news, but he still wants to do the right thing. But it’s clear when he kisses Mia, that this is not a passionate affair. “You chose me, and I accepted, and a gentleman never backs out on his word. We are going to… We’re going to stand up in church and say, “I do,” and tomorrow, we’ll be man and wife, and you are going to make an amazing Queen of Genovia.”
It’s the day of the wedding. Mia’s mother arrives, having only recently had a baby boy with her new husband (this was covered in the opening montage).
Her stylist has some weird ideas for what’s good for the wedding.
Nicholas is at home, moping about what’s happened. A staff member tells him that it was his Uncle who sent the reporters to spy on them. So now he wants to get to the wedding, but he doesn’t have transport. She suggests using his grandfather’s bike.
Trouble is, it’s a penny farthing.
This film has an unexpected Stan Lee cameo. How delightful. He even gets to do an accent.
Joe tells Mia that it wasn’t Nicholas who brought the reporters to the lake.
Just as she’s coming up the aisle, Mia has second thoughts and walks out. Clarisse goes to talk to her. “Darling, listen to me. I made my choice… duty to my country over love. It’s what I’ve always done, it seems. It was drummed into me my whole life. Now I’ve lost the only man I ever really loved” she says, referring to Joe.
“Mia, I want you to make your choices as a woman. Don’t make the same mistakes I did. Make your own mistakes. There’ll be plenty of them, believe me. Now, you can go back into that church and get married, or you can walk away. Whatever choice you make, let it come from your heart.” Mia hugs her. It’s all about the hugs.
Mia goes back in and talks to Andrew. “Everyone deserves the chance to find true love, right?” “Yes.” “Including us?” She hands back his engagement ring. “Uh… Thank you.” “Huh?” “Well, for, uh, saving me from doing the proper thing for once in my life. Now all I have to do is tell Mummy.” “I have to tell everyone else.”
Mia addresses the congregation. She tells them that the law which prevents her from succeeding to the throne if unmarried is unfair. “I ask the members of Parliament to… to think about your daughters, your nieces, sisters and granddaughters, and ask yourselves… would you force them to do what you’re trying to make me do?”
Viscount Mabery makes a last ditch effort to pitch for his own power. “Every time this charming young lady opens her mouth, she demonstrates a contempt for the customs of Genovia. The law clearly states an unmarried woman cannot be queen. Fortunately, there is another heir.”
But Nicholas has finally made it to the cathedral. “No, there is not. I decline. I refuse to be king. Ladies and gentlemen, it is Princess Mia who should have the crown. She is bright and she is caring, but more importantly, she has a vision, one that will take Genovia forward, and if the Parliament were astute, they would name her queen. Listen to her. She’ll lead us into the 21st century. And besides, just think how lovely she’ll look on our postage stamp.”
The Prime Minister steps up and tells Mia to make a motion. “I move to abolish the marriage law as it applies to present and future queens of Genovia. Will anyone second my motion?”
Her motion is seconded, and the Prime Minister asks all those in favour to say Aye, which all the MPs present do, including Lord Harmony, who is played by songwriter and singer Paul Williams.
Now that Mia’s way to the throne is clear, there’s one more thing she needs to do. She asks one of the security guards if she can use their radio to talk to the Queen who’s at the back of the cathedral. “Grandma… just because I didn’t get my fairy-tale ending doesn’t mean you shouldn’t.”
She turns to Joe. “Joseph…” “Your Majesty.” “Dear Joseph… Am I too late to ask you to accept my hand in marriage?” “Ahem. Well, I thought you’d never ask.”
It is at this point, dear reader, that I dissolved into a puddle of tears.
Later, Mia even makes the arrow shot.
A week later, it’s the day of her coronation, and she has a visitor. It’s Nicholas. “If I may be so bold, I would like an audience with Your Highness.” “Uh… What is your dilemma, young man?” “You are, in fact. I am in love with the queen-to-be, and I am inquiring if she loves me, too.” I think she does.
Honestly, this film is so much better than it has any right to be.
Media Centre Description: Romantic comedy sequel about an American teenager who discovers she is really a princess. Mia finds that she has to become queen of Genovia earlier than expected, but Genovian law states that an unmarried woman cannot ascend to the throne. Mia now has thirty days to find a king, or lose her position forever.
Recorded from BBC ONE on Thursday 31st December 2009 14:13
After this there’s a trail for Eastenders. Then the recording ends with the start of Madagascar.
The final recording today starts with the end of Eastenders. There’s a trail for Gavin and Stacey and for Graham Norton’s New Year’s Eve Show.
Then it’s another film and… oh dear… it’s Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest.
You’ll recall I didn’t have good things to say about the third POTC film At World’s End a few days ago. And I’m sorry to say that this second instalment in the series isn’t much better. It’s loud, bombastic, and it shares the same revolting cinematic sheen that makes it look like the film was dipped in an overflowing septic tank before it was delivered to cinemas. So instead of trying to recount a plot which I really couldn’t muster any interest in, let’s look at some of the actors who really were doing their best to entertain us.
There’s Tom Hollander, who’s the main villain of the two films, Cutler Beckett.
Jonathan Pryce as Governor Swann.
The great Kevin McNally as Mister Gibbs.
Orlando Bloom as Will Turner.
Mackenzie Crook as Ragetti. “Since we’re not immortal no more. We gotta take care of our immortal souls.” “You know you can’t read.” “It’s the Bible. You get credit for trying.”
Naomie Harris plays Tia Dalma.
Bill Nighy as Davy Jones, which is still a high water mark for a fully CGI character. There were so many technical inventions that went towards making this character look absolutely like it’s there on the set.
Jack Davenport as James Norrington, who’s fallen on hard times since the first movie. Incidentally, Davenport and Kiera Knightly do a DVD commentary for the original film, on selected scenes, and frankly it’s hilarious, and well worth seeking out. They have so much fun. I’m watching it as I’m writing this, and it’s funnier than almost anything in the film.
Talking of Kiera Knightley, here she is as Elizabeth Swann.
Stellan Skarsgard plays Will Turner’s father, Bootstrap Bill.
Davy Jones isn’t the only CG character, and they’re all brilliantly done.
Curiously, the effects that don’t work quite as well are composites like this one, that definitely looks like a blue screen shot from a 70s Bond film. I’m not sure quite why.
The film ends on a sort of cliffhanger with the surprise appearance of Geoffrey Rush as Captain Barbossa.
Media Centre Description: Swashbuckling action sequel. To repay a debt to a powerful supernatural crew, Jack Sparrow enlists the help of a swordsman and his bride-to-be to seek out the mysterious Davy Jones’ Locker. The couple have their own agenda, however, having been freed from prison by the British on condition that they capture the infamous pirate’s legendary compass.
Recorded from BBC ONE on Thursday 31st December 2009 19:58
The first recording is a repeat of Space 1999 – The immunity Syndrome. Media Centre Description: The Immunity Syndrome: Intergalactic adventures of the space-travelling Moonbase Alpha team. Commander Koenig and the team find what appears to be an inhabitable planet. Recorded from ITV4 on Wednesday 30th December 2009 10:23 After this the recording ends with the […]
Media Centre Description: The Immunity Syndrome: Intergalactic adventures of the space-travelling Moonbase Alpha team. Commander Koenig and the team find what appears to be an inhabitable planet.
Recorded from ITV4 on Wednesday 30th December 2009 10:23
After this the recording ends with the start of The Saint.
Media Centre Description: A young witch-in-training has reached the age where she must leave home to cope on her own. Taking a talking cat with her, she moves to the seaside town of Korico. After starting her own flying delivery service, the would-be witch must learn how to deal with her new life – especially when she loses the power to fly.
Recorded from Film4 on Wednesday 30th December 2009 12:53
After this the recording ends with the start of Doctor Dolittle.
The next recording is a repeat of the same episode of Space 1999 from earlier.
Media Centre Description: The Immunity Syndrome: Intergalactic adventures of the space-travelling Moonbase Alpha team. Commander Koenig and the team find what appears to be an inhabitable planet.
Recorded from ITV4 on Wednesday 30th December 2009 15:58
The recording ends with the start of The Champions.
The next recording starts with a trail for Survivors.
Then it’s a new adaptation of Henry James’ The Turn of the Screw.
Michelle Dockery plays Ann, a young woman hired to be governess to two young children in a big house in the country.
This version rather gives away that things won’t go well, because it opens with a sort of framing device with Ann in a mental hospital after the events that will unfold. She’s interviewed by Dr Fisher, played by Dan Stevens, who is sadly only in these framing scenes and doesn’t get to do much, which seems a waste.
At the house, the housekeeper is Sue Johnstone, who’s not exactly a Mrs Danvers type, but she does have secrets.
Nicola Walker has a small part as one of the staff. Naturally, I perked up when she appeared, but I should have known better, because she meets a sad end after jumping off or being pushed off the roof. This isn’t the first time I’ve watched something, been happy when Nicola Walker appears, only to have her killed off well before the end.
She meets the young girl, Flora, who she will be looking after. They seem to get on fine.
This being a ghost story (or is it?) she sees lots of figures in the distance.
Things really go bad when the young boy of the house comes back from school, having apparently been expelled for reasons that their letter does not make clear. He was creepy as soon as we see him, and he definitely seems to be manipulating people, but the most terrifying thing about him is that he looks like a ten-year old Boris Johnson.
As I said when I looked at the 1961 film version of the this story, The Innocents, I do have a problem with some ghost stories, as it’s rarely clear what the stakes are, or whether there are any ghosts, or if it’s all a delusion. This version really plays with this interpretation, hence the initial framing device. It also doesn’t have a happy ending. And if I’m honest, my favourite adaptation of this story is Kate Bush’s song The Infant Kiss.
Media Centre Description: Drama studying the interactions between the living and the dead. A young governess, Ann, is sent to a country house to take care of two orphans, Miles and Flora. Soon after her arrival, Miles is expelled from boarding school. Although charmed by her young charge, she secretly fears there are ominous reasons behind his expulsion.
Recorded from BBC ONE on Wednesday 30th December 2009 20:58
After this there’s a trail for Wallander and the recording ends with the start of the news.
The final recording today is Victoria Wood: What Larks! This is a curious behind the scenes look at the production of Midlife Christmas, and it eschews the usual interviews and talking heads, and is made up entirely of behinds the scenes filming of the production, with Victoria Wood narrating. It makes a nice change. Her pieces to camera were obviously shot at the same time as her interview segments for the earlier documentary.
It’s interesting to see quite how hands-on she is during production.
Media Centre Description: Victoria Wood delves into the making of her Mid-Life Christmas. With exclusive behind-the-scenes footage and interviews, this is a Christmas bonus for everyone who loved Lark Pies to Cranchesterford and the Midlife Olympics. Victoria also reveals the secrets backstage at the most lavish ever performance of the Ballad of Barry and Freda.
Recorded from BBC ONE on Wednesday 30th December 2009 23:00
The first recording today starts with the end of Film File. Then it’s a repeat of Space 1999 – Dorzak. Media Centre Description: Dorzak: The alien craft requesting emergency assistance turns out to be a prison transport ship carrying Dorzak to a life sentence on an asteroid. Recorded from ITV4 on Tuesday 29th December 2009 09:28 The […]
Show full content
The first recording today starts with the end of Film File.
Media Centre Description: Dorzak: The alien craft requesting emergency assistance turns out to be a prison transport ship carrying Dorzak to a life sentence on an asteroid.
Recorded from ITV4 on Tuesday 29th December 2009 09:28
The recording ends with the start of The Champions.
Media Centre Description: Devil’s Planet: Adventure series about the lost-in-space Moonbase Alpha team. Koenig is forced to crash-land his ship on a strange moon.
Recorded from ITV4 on Tuesday 29th December 2009 13:58
The recording ends with the start of UFO.
The next recording is the second and final part of The Day of the Triffids.
I didn’t realise that at the end of the previous episode, Masen and Coker had been taken up to the heath so the Triffids will eat them. I’m very stupid. But Masen has an MP3 player with his recordings of Triffid noises, which he uses to attract the Triffids to where Torrence’s stooge, Osman, is standing so he gets eaten and Coker and Masen can get away.
They get to a convent where a small community is surviving against the Triffids. It’s run by Mother Superior Vanessa Redgrave.
Masen makes a trip to the woods, and discovers the reason the Triffids have been leaving the convent alone. It’s because the Mother Superior has been sending people out into the woods and tying them up there, so the Triffids have food and leave the rest alone. Bill leaves to find his father. Coker stays to help the community.
Jo escapes from Torrence in London and finds a car, then goes looking for Bill’s father.
Bill finds two small girls who have survived on their own, and together they go looking for his father.
They find him, in the shape of Brian Cox. He has a plan to stop the Triffids by breeding a new strain of Triffids that are sterile, which will stop them breeding.
Bill has to find a male Triffid for his father’s experiment. It gets up close and personal.
There’s a flyby by Coker, who drops some messages telling Bill that the Isle of Wight is free of Triffids and there’s a growing community there.
Bill’s father gets killed by the Triffid he’s breeding that puts paid to the plan to sterilise the Triffids.
As if things weren’t going badly enough, Torrence has fled London and come looking for Bill and Jo.
Bill uses the Triffid noises to attract the Triffids to the house, while they prepare to leave in the chaos.
He sends his man Theo to kill the girls. But he’s not the ruthless killer Torrence is and he helps them prepare to leave.
Bill’s constant flashbacks to his childhood, and his mother’s death finally give him the final clue as to how to get past the Triffids. He has to use Triffid venom and an African mask to mark all their eyes, and somehow this a) doesn’t kill them and b) makes the Triffids ignore them.
Somehow it seems to work. I don’t know, maybe Triffids really like Goths.
Torrence comes out to stop them, but he finally gets his just desserts.
Bill, Jo, the two girls and Theo go to the Isle of Wight and some kind of happy ending which, given the relentlessly horrible events of the rest of the story, I think we all deserve. I’ve always founds this story hard to watch, in most versions.
Media Centre Description: Post-apocalyptic drama, based on the John Wyndham novel. As the Triffids destroy Britain, Bill works with his father to clone a genetic mutation which will sterilise them all. Bill’s future with Jo is wrenched apart with the arrival of Torrence from a London which has been overwhelmed. To escape, they will have to run the gauntlet between Torrence and the Triffids.
Recorded from BBC ONE on Tuesday 29th December 2009 21:00
Media Centre Description: Colourful drama, set in New Orleans, about the relationship which develops between a young police lieutenant and an uncompromising female DA, who is unimpressed with the bribery and corruption in the officer’s department. A vicious gang war is also simmering and looks set to erupt at any moment, as the murder of a Mafia soldier is followed swiftly by the killing of three drug-dealing gangsters.
Recorded from BBC ONE on Tuesday 29th December 2009 23:48
After this there’s a Christmas themed iPlayer promo.
There’s trails for Wallander and 2010 sport. There’s the weather, plus a Christmas themed public information film about fire.
There’s also a trail for Darts and for Gavin and Stacey.
Then the recording ends with the start of Oz and Hugh Drink to Christmas.
The final recording tonight starts with the end of I’m Alan Partridge.
There’s trails for Gavin and Stacey and Three Men Go To Ireland.
Then it’s Steve Coogan – The Inside Story and slightly odd documentary about Steve Coogan.
It’s presented by Mark Williams, which isn’t odd at all.
But it also has talking heads provided by Vic and Bob, like Noel Edmonds.
Vic as Lionel Blair.
Bob as Arthur Scargill.
Vic as Mick Mucknall.
R2_D2 and Chewbacca.
Kajagoogoo!
There are ‘real’ talking heads too, like Ronni Ancona.
Jason Manford.
Eric & Ken, cameramen.
Tom & Derek, Steve’s makeup artists.
Julia Davis plays Steve’s PA Debbie Bigwoden.
Chris and Carl, security.
Simon Greenall.
Felicity Montagu.
Ben Miller.
Coogan himself does some of the characters like his Aunty Peggy.
And Mickey Gold.
John Thomson.
Matthew Horne,
Vic as John Fowler.
Gabby Logan.
Media Centre Description: An unconventional look at the best of Steve Coogan’s television work and character comedy. With classic archive moments and some rarely seen early appearances, this one-hour special includes interviews with well-known faces who have collaborated with Steve, including Julia Davis, Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer, while Steve himself appears as his Irish auntie Peggy and Mickey Gold – his first showbiz agent. Narrated by Mark Williams.
Recorded from BBC TWO on Wednesday 30th December 2009 00:08
After this there’s a trail for Being Human and a trail for a new series of Survivors. It might sound weird but I’m glad I don’t have this recorded – after Day of the Triffids I think I’m all apocalypsed out for now.
The recording ends with the start of The Big Combo.
The first recording today is an episode of Art Attack. Neil makes a CD Rack. The Big Art Attack is a Giant Art Attack. He shows how to create a monogram. Another artist creates art from metal. He makes a balloon mobile. Media Centre Description: Neil Buchanan presents fun ideas for things to make and do. […]
Show full content
The first recording today is an episode of Art Attack.
Neil makes a CD Rack.
The Big Art Attack is a Giant Art Attack.
He shows how to create a monogram.
Another artist creates art from metal.
He makes a balloon mobile.
Media Centre Description: Neil Buchanan presents fun ideas for things to make and do. Today, he demonstrates how to store CDs and DVDs, shows a fancy way to write one’s initials and looks at how to turn flat card into a beautiful balloon.
Recorded from CITV on Monday 28th December 2009 11:58
The next recording starts with the weather. There’s a trail for Holby City.
There’s also a trail for Gavin and Stacey.
Then it’s The Princess Diaries.
Anne Hathaway plays Mia, a fifteen year old girl who’s a bit shy and nerdy. You can tell because she’s got frizzy hair, thick eyebrows and glasses.
But she’s asked to meet with her grandmother, who she hasn’t seen for a long time, because her father split up with her mother when she was very young. Her grandmother is the Queen of Genovia, and has come to tell her that she’s now the next in line to the throne, since her father died recently. She’s played by Julie Andrews.
Caroline Goodall plays her mother.
Someone leaks the news that Mia is actually a princess so she’s suddenly the centre of a press storm, and people at school start treating her differently.
Sandra Oh plays her school vice principal Miss Gupta.
My favourite character in the whole film is Hector Elizondo as Joe, who’s tasked with looking after Mia and driving her around, and who might be a spy, but is basically filling the father role. He plays a similar role in Pretty Woman (also directed by Garry Marshall like this film) and I liked him in that.
Mia’s best friend Lilly has her own cable TV show. A perfectly normal thing.
Due to her new found fame, the hot young boy that she’s fantasised about contrives to be photographed kissing her because he’s a creep.
And some cheerleaders who have been pretending to be her friends now get her to change her clothes, but then remove the tent so the press can photograph her mid change.
In the end, Mia almost decides to renounce the title, but reading a letter written to her by her now dead father inspires her that as a princess she can make a difference in the world. She even faces her terror of public speaking to announce this at the celebration for Genovian Independence Day.
And she finally hooks up with Lilly’s brother, who’s been in love with her from the start, and who she’s finally realised loves her for herself.
Media Centre Description: Teen comedy about a girl attending an exclusive prep school whose life takes a dramatic turn when she discovers that she is the heir to the throne of a small European nation. Her grandmother begins the daunting task of tutoring the awkward teen in royal behaviour, which is no mean feat considering the girl’s lax table manners, poise and hair care.
Recorded from BBC ONE on Monday 28th December 2009 13:03
After this, there’s a trail for Doctor Who and for So You Think You Can Dance.
Then the recording ends with the start of 101 Dalmations.
The next recording is Mythbusters – Ancient Death Ray/Skunk Cleaning/What Is Bulletproof?
There’s three myths being tested in this one. First, is it possible for the sun’s rays to be focused in Ancient Greece to burn attacking ships.
They test several supposed remedies for getting rid of skunk spray, including Tomato Sauce.
And they test a lot of things that can supposedly stop a bullet, like a think book.
Media Centre Description: Special effects experts test the bizarre claims of urban legends. The Mythbusters verify if Archimedes really built a giant mirror that focused the sun’s energy with such intensity that it ignited invading Roman ships. They also try various skunk-stink removal methods and put bulletproof glass to the test.
Recorded from Quest on Monday 28th December 2009 19:58
The next recording starts with another Doctor Who trail.
Then it’s part one of a new production of The Day of the Triffids.
Dougray Scott plays Bill Masen, a triffid expert who has a tragic backstory when his mother was killed by a triffid when he was young.
Ewan Bremner plays an environmentalist who breaks into the Triffid farm where he works, and tries to disrupt it because it’s cruel to keep them and farm them for the oil they produce. During this disruption, he’s stung by a triffid, and has to go to hospital, where it’s feared he’ll lose his sight.
Joely Richardson is Jo Playton, a BBC reporter, reporting on the striking lights in the sky caused by an unprecedented solar storm.
Eddie Izzard plays a mysterious man who slept through the light show on a plane flight, and wakes up to find everyone on the plane is blind and panicking and the plane is crashing. He grabs inflatables from under lots of seats, goes in the toilet and inflates them all, hoping to survive the crash.
Amazingly, he survives, and in gratitude for the street where he’s landed, for the rest of the episode he calls himself Torrence, because he’s a creepy liar out for himself.
Jo was down in a tube station when all the lightshow was happening so she can still see.
Bill, similarly, was unconscious with bandages over his eyes, so he wakes up still able to see, and finds everyone in the hospital is blind.
Back at the Triffid farm, Ewen Bremner is still making trouble, and he starts shutting down the security to let the Triffids roam free.
After a visit to Jo’s dad, who was dead from a Triffid attack, Jo takes Bill to the BBC where she does an interview with him as an emergency broadcast to warn people of the dangers of the triffids.
Later, they encounter Jason Priestly, as Major Coker, and American who can still see, and is looking after a large group of blind people. He thinks all sighted people should help the blind. But there’s a group of soldiers he tries to convince who think there’s nothing that can help all the blind people.
Bill and Jo are captured by Coker’s group and forcibly handcuffed to one of the blind people, and forced to help them around.
A visit to a local warehouse to collect supplies goes badly wrong when they’re attacked by triffids.
Coker trusts Torrence, which is his mistake when Torrence takes over. He tells Jo that Bill died dealing with some Triffids.
But Bill has been taken, with Coker, somewhere, possibly to dispose of them. But their journey is interrupted by more Triffids.
Media Centre Description: Post-apocalyptic drama, based on the John Wyndham novel. The world is struck blind by a solar storm, and millions of man-eating mobile plants are released to roam Britain. As an expert on the Triffids, Bill Masen knows that salvation rests in the hands of the father he hates, who mutated the Triffids in the first place to produce a green source of oil that the world craves.
Recorded from BBC ONE on Monday 28th December 2009 20:58
There’s trails for The Turn of the Screw and Match of the Day.
Then the recording ends with the start of the news, still leading with the underpants bomber.
The next recording is Not Again: Not the Nine O’Clock News.
There’s some talking heads from people like Dara O’Briain about the show,
But the show does feature the people who made the show, like John Lloyd. I’ve met him a few times, although the last time I did I stepped on his foot.
Ronni Ancona was inspired by the show.
Howard Goodall, who wrote a lot of the great songs: “I mean, when I look at the clips of it, it looks to me like Thatcher’s Britain, having…making fun of itself.”
Richard Curtis: “It was always a trick of the light, because it was taken and reviewed as though it was a satirical programme. But actually, a lot of the sketches could have gone out any time, any year, any place.”
Griff Rhys Jones: “It is about being in contemporary society, not just a series of fantasy jokes.”
Stephen Fry: “There was such a thing as the 9 o’clock news and it was a staple. It was like the nation’s fireplace. We knew where it was and there it was in the schedule every weekday. So the idea of something that, running on the other side, on BBC Two, opposite it, had real meaning and cultural resonance to everybody in the country.”
John Lloyd talks about the title, ripped off from when journalists at the New York Times went on strike and produced a satirical version.
Rowan Atkinson on his beginnings: “I was manning the theatre or revue stall at the Freshers’ Fair at Oxford, and I remember this very curly-haired chap turning up, saying that, I do music, and it was Howard.”
Mel Smith talks about his hair. “Essentially in my second year at Oxford I started to grow it absurdly long for a person whose hair is so thin as my one was. So I just kept it because it was a sort of like a sign. It’s that pathetic, I just felt as though you know, hey, this is me, you know, this is my hair and I’m proud of it.”
Pamela Stephenson: “I don’t even remember noticing Mel Smith’s hair. I remember once we were on location seeing him in his underpants. And that was really weird.”
Chris Langham was the most experiences performer in the first series, which eventually proved a problem as he was an excessive influence, and the others couldn’t really be heard, so he was let go.
Sean Hardie talks about trying to find a woman for the ensemble. They considered Victoria Wood, Susan George and Alison Steadman, who turned it down.
Ruby Wax: “Pamela had balls and so I started writing for her. She wasn’t just a pretty one, though she was. But she was really funny. So she kind of broke the mold a little bit of being really that attractive, but she could do it.”
John Howard Davies talks about having to let Chris Langham go.
Billy Connolly talks about how the programme changed his life. I didn’t realise that he and Pamela met on the programme – I’d always thought he appeared because they were already going out.
Here’s someone else’s upload of the programme. Not the greatest quality.
Media Centre Description: Not The Nine O’Clock News launched the glittering careers of its key performers Rowan Atkinson, Mel Smith, Griff Rhys Jones and Pamela Stephenson, as well as those of many of its writers including Richard Curtis. For the first time, this film tells the real story behind the show. Interviewees include Rowan Atkinson, Mel Smith, Griff Rhys Jones, Pamela Stephenson, John Lloyd, Richard Curtis, Billy Connolly and Dara O Briain.
Recorded from BBC TWO on Monday 28th December 2009 21:01
After this there’s trails for some Elvis programmes, the darts, and Being Human.
The final recording is an episode of Not the Nine O’Clock News although I think this is actually a compilation episode rather than an original episode as suggested by the continuity announcer. It’s also a repeat of something that I’ve got on one of my tapes.
Media Centre Description: The popular satirical show of the late 70s and early 80s which launched the careers of Rowan Atkinson, Mel Smith, Griff Rhys Jones and Pamela Stephenson.
Recorded from BBC TWO on Monday 28th December 2009 22:31
The first recording today starts with the end of Animal Park. There’s trails for Three Men go to Ireland, Outnumbered and the Tracy Beaker web game. Then it’s The Pixar Story, a documentary from 2007, so it goes up to the release of Cars. This documentary is available on Disney Plus if you want to watch it. I think […]
Show full content
The first recording today starts with the end of Animal Park.
There’s trails for Three Men go to Ireland, Outnumbered and the Tracy Beaker web game.
Then it’s The Pixar Story, a documentary from 2007, so it goes up to the release of Cars. This documentary is available on Disney Plus if you want to watch it. I think it’s quite good.
Obviously, it concentrates a lot on John Lasseter, who was definitely the primary creative head during this time.
Brad Bird wasn’t one of the original Pixar team, and only joined when asked to make The Incredibles, but he went to the California Institute of the Arts with Lasseter. Others who went there included Tim Burton and John Musker. It was particularly popular with animators because a lot of the older Disney animators had been brought out of retirement to teach there.
Alumnus John Musker, along with Ron Clements, would effectively start the Disney Renaissance when they wrote and directed The Little Mermaid.
Ollie Johnston and Frank Clements were two of the ‘Nine Old Men’ of Disney animation who taught there.
Lasseter would get a job at Disney Animation where he would work with animators like Glen Keane, who was a lead animator on The Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast.
There’s clips from a test film Lasseter made after seeing TRON and being enthused at how computers could help with animated films. It was a film of the Maurice Sendak book Where the Wild Things Are.
Then he was given approval to develop a script of The Brave Little Toaster. But when it was presented to the studio the head of the studio asked how much it would cost. Lasseter said “Well, it’s with computer animation, it’s gonna be, you know, no more than the regular budget of a film.” The studio head replied “The only reason to do computer animation is if we could do it faster or cheaper.” And after that, Lasseter’s contract was up and he was let go.
Don Hahn: “He got let go, he got fired, because, honestly, the studio didn’t know what to do with him.”
Alvy Ray Smith was one of the pioneers of computer graphics. “During a lot of the early days, artists were frightened of the computer, because they were under the impression that it somehow was gonna take their jobs away. And we spent a lot of time telling people, ‘No, it’s just a tool, it doesn’t take… ‘It doesn’t do the creativity, that’s a misconception.'”
Ed Catmull is one of those names you read about, and you see in Computer Graphics software like Blender, because he invented so many of the techniques that makes CG possible.
Enter George Lucas, who had just finished Star Wars and wanted to experiment with the possibilities of the computer graphics in filmmaking. He hired Ed Catmull among others, and they started to develop a lot of technologies, including a computer editing system called EditDroid, which eventually became Avid.
Rob Cook was another person who joined Lucasfilm’s Computer Graphics department.
Other big names were Eben Ostby.
And William Reeves.
Loren Carpenter did groundbreaking work using fractal maths to create complex but realistic looking landscapes without having to model every single surface. His work was the core of the Genesis sequence in Star Trek II.
Lucasfilm also wanted to use the technology for character animation, so when John Lasseter met Ed Catmull, at a conference on the Queen Mary, just after his project had been cancelled, Catmull invited him to work for Lucasfilm, and he started producing short films like The Adventures of Andre and Wally B.
Dennis Muren talks about the work they did animating a stained glass window for Young Sherlock Holmes.
But George Lucas didn’t want to be in the business of selling software, and the team wanted to make movies, which would take a significant investment, so the Lucasfilm team were spun off into Pixar, and Steve Jobs became their primary investor.
He did this on the advice of computer scientist Alan Kay, who had a big influence on Steve Jobs during the Macintosh development.
Deirdre Warin used to have to wake up John Lasseter in the morning, because he was sleeping in his office rather than going home.
More animators were hired, including Andrew Stanton, who had never used a computer before he started.
Pete Docter joined literally the day after he had graduated from Cal Arts.
The technical team would win Oscars for Renderman, their rendering software.
Pixar had to do mor than short films and adverts, so they struck a deal to make a film based on one of their short films, Tin Toy. Joe Ranft: “There was so much positive enthusiasm. It was great.”
Michael Eisner: “It was an attempt to take the spirit of John Lasseter and see if we could make a full-length motion picture with it.”
Tom Hanks was asked to do the voice of Woody, and when he talked to them, they showed him a clip of an early rendering of Woody, that they animated to Hanks’ own dialogue from the film Turner and Hooch. “When I saw this loop, it was startling, actually. It was kind of, like, hypnotic. “Let’s see it again. Can I see that again?” I think we must have watched it three or four times. It didn’t look like animation. It looked like Plasticine come to life. I couldn’t explain it even to friends what it was like. I just said, “Well, it’s gonna be this whole new thing. They’ve just invented something that is a brand new way of doing this.””
Tom Schumacher was head of production while Toy Story was being developed. “Jeffrey Katzenberg, who at the time was chairman of the Disney Studios and had great interest in animation would always in a story meeting be pushing for what he called “edge.” Which really was code for snappy, adult, the edge of inappropriate, and not to feel too young.”
Roy Disney talks about watching a very early test of the film. “Peter Schneider sent me this video, which was, like, two cassettes. It was so long. It was like two hours, and it went on and on and on and on and on and on and I was fast-forwarding through it and thinking, “Oh, my God. This’ll never end.””
Schumacher says “It resulted in the Woody character being one of the most repellent things you’ve ever seen on screen. I mean, you couldn’t watch it.” Tom Hanks: “It was smart-alecky. It was like a brand of insult humour. It was kind of, like, negative.” As a result, the Pixar team went back a retooled the whole production in a matter of weeks, ignoring the poor direction they’d got from Katzenberg at Disney, and going with their gut instincts, then showed the results to Disney again, who this time saw the potential, and allowed the production to continue.
Lee Unkrich talks about how difficult the process was at the beginning, as sequences would go off to be animated, but when they came back, nothing would cut together properly. They were all learning as they went.
Tim Allen was hired as the voice of Buzz Lightyear. “Had no idea visually what this would look like. He let me stretch it a little bit and really make it this really kind of a closed-head-injury type of guy.”
Leonard Maltin talks about the reception of the film when it was released.
There’s some talk about the difficult second album syndrome, and the struggles making A Bug’s Life and having to really push the technologies of the time to produce huge crowd scenes, but in the end it was the most successful animated film of the year.
Lasseter’s wife Nancy talks about how the family didn’t see him very much in those days. This was made worse when Toy Story 2 had to be completely redone because it wasn’t working and didn’t represent what Pixar wanted.
Randy Newman talks about Jessie’s song. “I thought it was a very brave thing for them to do, to think that five-year-olds would sit still for three minutes of montage and a ballad and something, you know, very sad, really.”
Billy Crystal talks about voicing Mike Wazowski in Monsters Inc.
Andrew Stanton talks about Finding Nemo.
Brad Bird comes in to direct The Incredibles.
At this stage, there’s discussion about how Disney was starting to think that 2D animation was dead as an art form and people only wanted to see 3D animated movies. Ron Clements: “there was a very painful period that was like someone dying, just to see what happened, I mean it had to do with so many, many people losing their jobs. But even more than that, just, a sort of art form that had been built up over a period of decades, was just abandoned, I think because it was not the hot ticket at the moment.”
Pixar’s distribution deal with Disney was coming to an end, and looked like they would be parting ways, but incoming new Chairman Bob Iger realised that Pixar had so many people devoted to great animation that their loss would be a huge blow to Disney, so he ended up acquiring Pixar completely.
Media Centre Description: Documentary about the pioneering computer animation studio Pixar, featuring contributions from the studio’s bosses and a host of actors who have lent their voices to their creations, including Tom Hanks. Films such as Toy Story and A Bug’s Life have led to the studio becoming one of the most consistently successful, both critically and financially, of recent years.
Recorded from BBC TWO on Sunday 27th December 2009 10:28
After this there’s a trail for Doctor Who and a trail for two programmes about Elvis Presley.
Th recording ends with the start of Gigi.
The next recording is Miracle on 34th Street. This is the original 1947 version starring Edmund Gwenn as Kris Kringle, the man who believes he’s Santa Claus and gets hired by Macy’s department store to be their store Santa.
Maureen O’Hara plays Doris, in charge of the promotional department.
A very young Natalie Wood plays Susan, Doris’s daughter, who doesn’t believe in Santa Claus at the start.
The story here is very similar to the more recent remake, but I like the way the court case at the end is resolved in this one. A sorter at the US Post Office sees a letter sent by Susan to Kris Kringle at the courthouse, and, because the case has got a lot of publicity, they decide to send their big stockpile of children’s letters to Santa to the courthouse, which gives the judge the ability to rule that Kris must be the real Santa.
Media Centre Description: Classic Christmas tale of a department-store Santa Claus who advocates the true meaning of Christmas. Kris Kringle is hired by Macy’s executive Doris Walker to replace an unsuitably drunken Father Christmas, and it soon transpires Kris really believes that he is Santa. His persistant claims land him in court charged with insanity, but his real battle is with Doris’s young daughter, who refuses to believe in Santa.
Recorded from Film4 on Sunday 27th December 2009 10:58
The recording ends with the start of a behind the scenes look at Avatar.
The next recording is an episode of Art Attack.
Neil makes a pop-out ghost.
The Big Art Attack is a riverboat made out of plastic piping.
He shows how birds come from eggs.
Artist Joe Rush makes art out of junk.
He plays with water pattern effects.
Media Centre Description: Neil Buchanan presents the fast-moving art show packed with tips, teasers and eye-catching visuals. Neil has some great tips on how to get great watery effects into your pictures, and he explains a really simple way to draw realistic looking birds.
Recorded from CITV on Sunday 27th December 2009 11:58
After this, there’s a short episode of Tricky TV.
The next recording is James May’s Toy Stories – Hornby. He wants to build a Hornby OO Gauge railway running along a former railway route from Barnstable to Bideford.
For inspiration he visits a huge model railway museum in Germany.
His friend Oz Clarke is also a train enthusiast, so they cycle the route that the tracks will be laid.
He visits a man with a railway in his garden.
He wants to use his own Flying Scotsman engine as one of the engines that runs the route.
But he does have a selection of engines for the day.
Sadly for James, his Flying Scotsman fails quite early.
A new engine based on a modern high-speed train does better.
It’s another event that attracts a lot of spectators.
But the attempt to get all the way to Bideford fails about five miles before the end, late at night, as the last engine seizes up. t’s a slightly down ending.
Media Centre Description: James May continues his quest to show what is possible with old-fashioned toys by using them on a scale never seen before. James attempts to build the longest ever model railway track – a whopping ten miles long. He builds it in Devon, linking two towns, Barnstaple and Bideford, which last had a train service over forty years ago. Thousands of people turn out to help, but nature and the odds look to be against the plucky little engine in what is certainly James’s most ambitious idea yet.
Recorded from BBC TWO on Sunday 27th December 2009 18:43
Media Centre Description: Alan Partridge, TV’s top chatter-man, presents with his very own Christmas special. Set in an exact replica reproduction of the interior of his own house in Norwich, Alan invites you to a Christmas house party, with guests, bell-ringers, and – exclusive to the programme – an attempt by 20 sea cadets to pull the biggest Christmas cracker in the world.
Recorded from BBC TWO on Sunday 27th December 2009 22:35
After this there’s trails for Nurse Jackie, The Day of the Triffids and the Leage Cup Semi Final.
Then the recording ends with the start of Match of the Day.
There’s another timing glitch with the next recording, Outnumbered – The Christmas Special, which starts a few minutes in.
It’s Boxing Day, and they have to do some plumbing.
Felicity Montagu plays the woman at Sue’s father’s old folks home.
They can’t find him at the home, and spot him on the CCTV leaving earlier with a friend.
While Sue is busy looking for Grandad, Pete, at home, has to entertain Sue’s friend Jane who is having a painful divorce.
Karen doesn’t quite understand privacy.
Sue locates her father, with his friend Mack (played by Jake D’Arcy), and ends up bringing both of them home.
Despite all the disruptions, veryone ends up having a singsong and it’s all very heartwarming.
Media Centre Description: The award-winning comedy capturing the turbulent chaos of family life returns with a Christmas special. It is Boxing Day in the Brockman household and Santa has paid a visit, along with some burglars. Seven-year-old Karen is obsessing over a missing hamster, nine-year-old Ben is causing havoc with a mechanical hand, Jake and Mum are trying to find Grandad, and Dad is preparing for dinner guests – some welcome, some not.
Recorded from BBC ONE on Sunday 27th December 2009 22:35
Media Centre Description: Second of a two-part profile of Orson Welles, looking at films including The Trial, Chimes at Midnight, The Immortal Story and F for Fake and discussing his many unfinished projects, including The Other Side of the Wind and Don Quixote.
Recorded from BBC FOUR on Sunday 27th December 2009 22:58
The first recording today starts with the weather. There’s a trail for sport in 2010. A trail for So You Think You Can Dance. Plus a trail for Total Wipeout Celebrity Special. Then it’s another movie, Bridge to Terabithia. I don’t think I got around to watching this at the time. Having watched it now, maybe that was […]
Show full content
The first recording today starts with the weather. There’s a trail for sport in 2010.
A trail for So You Think You Can Dance.
Plus a trail for Total Wipeout Celebrity Special.
Then it’s another movie, Bridge to Terabithia. I don’t think I got around to watching this at the time. Having watched it now, maybe that was a good thing. My daughter, when I said I was watching this, said she’d seen a review of it, and as a result never wanted to watch it. Let’s see if I agree.
Josh Hutcherson (quite a few years before he was in The Hunger Games) is Jess, a young boy who’s very unhappy, both at school and at home. I’m not surprised, because the bullying that goes on at this school is appalling and none of the teachers seem to care. Are American schools really like this?
It’s not just the boys bullying – the girls do it too, like Janice who charges the kids one dollar to use the toilet. Again, nobody seems to do anything.
There’s a new girl at school, Leslie, who doesn’t make the best impression on Jess when she beats him in a running race.
Jess’s father is Robert Patrick, who seems happy enough to show affection to his daughters, but seems to have nothing but disdain for his son. It’s sad how much drama in movies is driven by bad parenting.
One slightly brighter spot in his life is a new music teacher, played by Zooey Deschanel, who at least gets everyone singing along.
Jess and Leslie do become friends, which is helped by her family having moved in next door to Jess’ family. They go exploring in a nearby wood, and find an old rope suspended over a river. Eventually, after some swinging, they cross the river and go exploring on the other side. Leslie starts making up a story about where they are, and incorporating the things they find into the story. “This is the ruins of the great fortress. Whose people have been imprisoned. Jess, you and I have been sent to free the. Prisoners of the Dark Master.”
Their imaginations work pretty well. Leslie calls the land they’ve discovered Terabithia.
There’s giant troll footprints.
One thing I didn’t like about this is that Jess and Leslie can only fight back against the bullies, like Janice, by bullying her in turn – here by humiliating her by forging a love letter from one of the other boys and putting it into her desk, so she thinks the boy fancies her.
But later, they hear a girl crying in the toilets, and Leslie goes to see, and it’s Janice. Who’s only a bully because her home life is horrible, and now the other kids have been laughing at her about it. Leslie gives her some advice. “Well, I told her just to pretend that she had no idea what anyone was talking about. And in a few weeks’ time, everybody would just forget about it. Then I gave her a piece of gum.”
Back in the woods, they’re attacked by various small monsters. The effects (by Weta) are pretty good.
Jess falls from high up in a tree, but he’s caught by a giant troll.
And the troll now has the bully Janice’s face. I quite liked this bit.
Next day, he gets a call from his music teacher Miss Edmonds, who was supposed to visit the museum with nephews, but they’ve got other plans, so she asks Jess if he wants to visit the museum.
But when he gets back he learns that Leslie has died, drowned in the river after the rope snapped. They visit her house for the wake. Her father hugs him, something his own father doesn’t appear to have done recently.
He goes back to the woods, finds that there’s a fallen tree across the river now, and goes over. His young sister follows him but he pushes her away.
He runs through the woods shouting for Leslie, sure she’d still be there, but a dark figure is also chasing him, until it finds him – and it’s his father, who perhaps has realised that maybe he should actually show some kind of affection for his son.
So jess gets to work building something, then gets his younger sister May-belle, and to apologise for pushing her away, he takes her to see what he’s made. It’s a Bridge to Terabithia. She gets to be the princess.
And Jess is the king.
Media Centre Description: CGI-filled adventure based on Katherine Paterson’s classic children’s novel about two teenage friends who escape to a magical woodland which helps them deal with the highs and lows of their real life. Free-spirited girl Leslie befriends an unhappy boy called Jess at her new school. Together, they visit Terabithia, an escapist world created in Leslie’s mind, and featuring fairytale creatures based on their playground friends and foes.
Recorded from BBC ONE on Saturday 26th December 2009 13:28
After this there’s a trail for Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End and a trail for the Outnumbered Christmas Special.
The next recording overlaps with the previous one, and is Flushed Away, Aardman Animation’s first CG animated movie.
Hugh Jackman voices Roddy, a pet rat of a young girl living in Kensington who has a great life except he only has toy dolls to play with.
His family go off on holiday, and he discovers another rat in the house, thanks to a burst water main shooting him up the pipes. He’s called Sid and is played by Shane Richie. Roddy tries to pretend that the toilet is a jacuzzi so he can flush him down again, but Sid knows what a toilet is, pushes Roddy in and flushes him away.
In the sewers, he finds rather a thriving rat city. The design of this film is a lot of fun.
He tries to find someone to get him back to Kensington and finds Rita, the captain of a boat called The Jammy Dodger, but almost immediately gets involved in her problems as she’s set upon by some shady rats because they’re after a jewel she stole. She’s voiced by Kate Winslet.
Andy Serkis voices Spike, one of the bad rats.
Bill Nighy voices Whitey, Spike’s associate.
The leader of the bad rats is The Toad, voiced by Ian McKellen.
There’s a nice running gag with all the slugs in the sewers singing at various points.
Jean Reno voices Le Frog.
There’s a fairly silly plot involving the Toad’s plan to wipe out the rat city by opening the sewer doors at half time of the World Cup Final when everyone goes to the toilet and drowning the city in a tidal wave of bog water, which is foiled by a helpful source of liquid nitrogen that the Toad uses to freeze his enemies, but which Roddy and Rita manage to repurpose to freeze the wave. I’d like to think this is an homage to the ending of the Special Edition of The Abyss but I doubt that’s the case.
Media Centre Description: Animated adventure. Pet rat Rodney, evicted from his lavish but lonely lifestyle, finds himself in a rodent city in the sewers, where adventurous Rita is doing battle with minions of the villainous Toad. Thanks to Roddy’s ‘help’, the conflict escalates, placing him and Rita in deadly danger.
Recorded from BBC ONE on Saturday 26th December 2009 14:58
After this there’s a trail for Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End and a promo for a Tracy Beaker website game.
Plus a trail for Doctor Who – The End of Time part 2.
The recording ends with the start of a news bulletin, leading with the case of the Underwear Bomber who tried to blow up a plane with an improvised explosive device sewn into his pants.
The next recording starts with the end of Final Score. There’s a trail for Pirates of the Caribbean At World’s End.
Then it’s a filmed version of Hamlet starring David Tennant as Hamlet, and is based on the Royal Shakespeare Company production he was in around this time.
Patrick Stewart plays Claudius.
Oliver Ford Davies plays Polonius. I love it when he turns up in things, but I confess whenever he pops up, all I can hear in my head is “A communications blackout can mean only one thing – invasion!” from the very first Phantom Menace trailer.
John Woodvine appears as one of the Players. Another actor I love to see in stuff, ever since I first saw him in An American Werewolf in London.
I have to confess, this is the first time I have ever seen a production of Hamlet. And I’ve never read the play. So I only know it by reputation and the famous bits. I and my daughter spent the whole time pointing at the screen do the “he said the thing” meme every time a famous line or speech came along. And there’s so many of them. But believe it or not, for all that Hamlet is talked about such a lot and used as a metaphor for lots of things (and even ‘adapted’ into other things like The Lion King) I didn’t actually know what the story was so it was interesting to see where it went.
I was probably silly to expect a happy ending, though.
Media Centre Description:
Recorded from BBC TWO on Saturday 26th December 2009 17:03
After this there’s another trail for Doctor Who and another new trail for Being Human.
Plus a trail for Nurse Jackie.
Then the recording ends with the start of Victorian Farm Christmas.
The next recording is Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End.
I liked the first Pirates movie. It was fun. I found this movie to be almost unwatchable.
A huge amount of effort has been expended on this. The visual effects are magnificent, There’s dozens of good actors in the cast. I know the writers are able to write good stuff. But on the flipside of all that, it suffers enormously from the whole film being shot and graded is Teal and Orange, the visual ‘colour language’ that infected so much of cinema at this particular time. Almost every scene looks like this, and it’s like watching cancer.
Also, I confess I wasn’t paying full attention to it while it was on, but even so the plot seems incomprehensible. There’s far too many characters, and I could never tell from one moment to the next who was on whose side, since allegiances seemed to be made and broken in almost every scene.
Plus, the film kills some of the characters I liked. Well maybe its the actors I liked. Jonathan Pryce and Jack Davenport particularly.
Not a favourite of mine.
Media Centre Description: Action adventure sequel. In the final instalment of the buccaneering trilogy, Jack Sparrow is trapped in Davy Jones’s Locker, and in his absence the East India Trading Company is taking over the seas. Jack’s former crew and his friends Elizabeth and Will must join forces with Captain Barbossa to save Captain Sparrow and bring the entire pirate community together against their common enemy. The scene is set for a high-seas battle of epic proportions.
Recorded from BBC ONE on Saturday 26th December 2009 19:28
After this there’s yet another Doctor Who trail, plus a trail for a new production of The Turn of the Screw.
Then the recording ends with the start of The National Lottery.
The next recording starts with the end of Victorian Farm Christmas.
There’s a trail for a new production of The Day of the Triffids.
There’s also a trail for Three Men go to Ireland.
Then it’s The Morecambe and Wise Christmas Show: 1973.
There’s a few celebrity cameos as Eric and Ernie phone up people to appear on the show. Some are previous guests, like Andre Previn.
Singer John Hanson performs with a rather static backing singers with the faces of politicians (including Enoch Powell).
Another rather amazing cameo is Rudolph Nureyev.
“Not now Arthur”
Hannah Gordon sings Windmills of your Mind while a rather complex stunt is happening behind her. Then all her clothes fall off (not pictured).
Here’s Yehudi Menuhin.
“He’s not gonna sell much ice cream going at that speed, is he?”
The New Seekers provide some music.
Vanessa Redgrave performs in two different sketches.
Another huge cameo, from Laurence Olivier.
“What do you think of it so far?” “Rubbish!”
Vanessa Redgrave’s second sketch features Napoleon, Josephine and the Duke of Ellington Wellington.
Media Centre Description: A star-studded holiday special starring Eric Morecambe, Ernie Wise and special guests Vanessa Redgrave, Hannah Gordon, the New Seekers and John Hanson. With guest appearances from Yehudi Menuhin, Rudolf Nureyev, Laurence Olivier and Andre Previn.
Recorded from BBC TWO on Saturday 26th December 2009 21:08
After this there’s a trail for Not Again: Not The Nine O’Clock News and for the Outnumbered Christmas Special.
Then the recording ends with the start of The Story of Slapstick.
The final recording today starts with trails for Orson Welles at Christmas, Day of the Triffids and Lost Kingdoms of Africa.
Then it’s Charlie Brooker’s Screenwipe Review of 2009.
One of the shows he talks about is Noel’s HQ which I thankfully never saw, but which looks like if Reform did Watchdog crossed with Surprise Surprise. People sometimes ask of Social Media whether there’s a British TV personality who could turn into a Trump-style dictator under the right circumstances, and from this evidence, I wonder if Noel Edmonds might be a candidate?
There was Gail Trimble on University Challenge who became famous basically for just being very clever at answering University Challenge questions.
Anton du Beke had to profusely apologise after he did a racism.
Kanye West interrupts Taylor Swift at the MTV awards.
A contestant collapses on an episode of Deal or No Deal.
After Michael Jackson’s death Derek Acorah does one of his appalling seance things.
There were quite a few programmes covered this year that I don’t have recorded, lending more weight to my theory that I’m missing at least one hard drive. Thse included Torchwood: Children of Earth and Derren Brown predicting the lottery numbers.
One programme I definitely didn’t record or watch was The Execution of Gary Glitter which still seems like the most appalling idea for a TV show.
Santa reads a Christmas message for Dennis Nilsen.
Here’s the whole episode.
Media Centre Description: Caustic comic and writer Charlie Brooker returns in a doomed bid to summarise 2009’s TV output without vomiting. From the unpleasant spectacle of Britain’s Got Talent to the downright worrying The Execution of Gary Glitter, and everything in-between, this is the only television programme you need watch this year, or indeed ever again. Contains weeping and screaming and words.
Recorded from BBC FOUR on Saturday 26th December 2009 22:28
Merry Christmas! We kick off with another musical and another musical which I have performed in on stage. It’s Kiss Me Kate. It’s the musical based on Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew It opens with Howard Keel, as Fred Graham, welcoming Cole Porter to his apartment to discuss his new musical. Not actually the real Cole […]
Show full content
Merry Christmas!
We kick off with another musical and another musical which I have performed in on stage. It’s Kiss Me Kate. It’s the musical based on Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew
It opens with Howard Keel, as Fred Graham, welcoming Cole Porter to his apartment to discuss his new musical. Not actually the real Cole Porter, he’s played by Ron Randell.
Fred wants his ex-wife Lilli to play opposite him in the show as Katherine. She’s played by Kathryn Grayson, and her antipathy towards Fred rather mirrors their characters in the show.
It gets more awkward when there’s another ring on the bell – it’s Lois Lane, another actress and singer, who Fred wants to play Katherine’s younger sister Bianca. She’s Lois Lane (not that one) and played by Ann Miller, hotfoot from being on stage, hence the costume. And even better she brings her own band, and performs the song Too Darn Hot.
This is a great show, and a very good film version, which plenty of great songs, like We Open in Venice, which makes good use of a moving cyclorama to combine the movie and stage imagery.
Bianca’s song Tom Dick or Harry with her suitors is frankly filthier than any gangster rap or Prince song.
I was lucky enough to play one of the suitors – Hortensio, the same one as played in this film by the great Bob Fosse. I’ve already shared this on a previous entry, but I came across it today and thought I’d have a replay.
Another great song is Katherine’s solo, I Hate Men. I think it’s supposed to indicate her shrewish character, but frankly, I can’t fault a single line of this song.
The other banger in this is Brush Up Your Shakespeare, sung by two gangsters.
Media Centre Description: Big-screen adaptation of Cole Porter’s Broadway hit about a theatre company attempting a musical version of Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew, where the lives of the cast intertwine with those of the characters they are representing. Songs include Wunderbar, From This Moment On, Always True to You Darling in My Fashion, So in Love and Kiss Me Kate.
Recorded from BBC TWO on Friday 25th December 2009 12:28
After this there’s trails for Not Again: Not The Nine O’Clock News, The Gruffalo and Three Men Go To Ireland.
The next recording is, yes, another musical. It’s White Christmas. The opening title tells us this is the first production in Vistavision, Paramount’s widescreen process created to compete with other formats like Cinerama.
It starts during the second world war, and stars Danny Kaye and Bing Crosby as soldiers Phil Davis and Bob Wallace who are putting on some entertainment for Christmas Eve.
Bing Crosby sings White Christmas, getting it out of the way early.
The platoon’s general is being replaced, and is being sent home, and retired. They’re sorry to see him go,
After the war, Bob and Phil become a double act, and become very successful. They’re heading to New York to appear on the Ed Harrison show to plug their new show, but before they go they visit another club to audition two sisters, who are the sisters of one of their old army buddies. They are Betty and Judy Haines, played by Rosemary Clooney and Vera Ellen. They perform the song Sisters, and much to Phil’s surprise, Bob, who he’s been trying to set up with a girlfriend for ages, looks like he’s falling for Betty (Clooney).
But it turns out the girls are in a small bit of trouble, as their landlord has come to the club saying they owe him money for a hole on the carpet. Bob and Phil help them pack up and get out of the club, and Phil gives them their tickets to New York without Bob’s knowledge. Then Bob and Phil have to delay the landlord and the policeman, by performing in their place, doing their own version of Sisters.
They’re all on the train to New York, and the sisters persuade Bob and Phil to skip New York for a bit and g with them to Vermont, where they’ve been booked to play at a winter lodge, so they all song a song about snow.
When they get there, though, there’s no snow at all, and the housekeeper tells the sisters they won’t be needed because there’s hardly any guests. Then they all meet the owner of the hotel – it’s their old commanding officer, General Waverly. He’s rather struggling with the lack of snow, and definitely feeling like he’s failing in his retirement.
Bob and Phil decide to bring their current show all the way up and put it on at the hotel. Judging by the rehearsals, it’s a colossal stage.
There’s some crossed wires, when the housekeeper listens to Bob on the phone with the Ed Harrison TV show talking about promoting their show here, and it sounds like Bob is trying to milk the sympathy for the General so he can drum up an audience. “You know the forgotten man angle. Tear their hearts out.” But when she stops listening, Bob tells them that’s not what they’re doing, he just wants to use the TV show to get the word out to all his old army comrades so they can come and support the General. But the housekeeper tells Betty what she heard, and Betty can’t believe Bob would do something like that. It’s the usual miscommunication that happens in films like this but it’s well written. She leaves for New York to take another job. Bob doesn’t know why she’s suddenly leaving.
Bob goes to New York and sees Betty, trying to heal the rift, although he still doesn’t know why she’s upset. She tells him she won’t be going back to Vermont.
Phil has to feign an injury to keep the General from watching the Ed Harrison show on TV.
Bob makes his appeal on the show, and it’s not what Betty was thinking it was. He asks that any of his old colleagues who can should travel up to the hotel in Vermont to be there or the show. “but remember this, nobody connected with the show is getting anything out of it, nothing at all. Except what we’re offering you, a chance to give the nicest Christmas gift you’ll ever get to the nicest guy we’ll ever know.”
Betty is watching the show, and there’s a slow push in on her face as she watches and realises she was misinformed that’s just lovely.
Similarly, when General Waverly comes to the show and discovers it’s full – and full of all his soldiers, all singing “We’ll follow the old man wherever he wants to go”.
Betty is back and the show goes on.
Naturally, the show ends with another rendition of White Christmas.
The song closes with them opening up the back of the stage to show that it’s finally snowing outside. Such a lovely film.
Media Centre Description: Two army buddies who have become entertainers travel to a Vermont ski resort for a well-earned rest. But on arrival, they find the resort – run by their old army commander – in need of a helping hand. And there’s only one answer – put on a show! With a memorable score by Irving Berlin.
Recorded from BBC TWO on Friday 25th December 2009 14:15
After this there’s a trail for James May’s Toy Stories, Top Gear and Steven Coogan. Then the recording ends with the start of La Boheme.
The next recording starts with the weather and a trail for the Strictly Come Dancing Christmas special.
There’s also a trail for tonight’s Doctor Who Christmas Special.
Then it’s The Gruffalo, an animated adaptation of Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler’s brilliant children’s book. This was a favourite with our children when they were young, and I always enjoyed reading it to them. It has an all star cast. Plus James Corden.
Media Centre Description: Animated film based on the classic children’s picture book written by Julia Donaldson and illustrated by Axel Scheffler. The Gruffalo tells the magical tale of a mouse who takes a walk though the woods in search of a nut.
Recorded from BBC ONE on Friday 25th December 2009 17:28
After this, trails for Strictly and Eastenders. Then the recording ends with the start of the next programme…
The next recording is that next programme, and it’s Doctor Who – The End of Time, Part One. The first part of David Tennant’s final story as the Tenth Doctor.
Bernard Cribbins returns as Donna’s grandad Wilf. He’s having visions of Harold Saxon – The Master – and doesn’t know what they mean. He visits a church, and a woman speaks to him. “This was the site of a convent, back in the 1300s. It’s said a demon fell from the sky. Then a man appeared. A man in a blue box. They called him the sainted physician. He smote the demon and then disappeared.” But when he turns around, she’s gone.
There’s a Tardis in the stained glass window.
I’ve said before how exciting it always was when guest stars got their names in the titles. John Simm gets one here, as does Cribbins, as is right and proper.
The Doctor drops in on the Ood, after their last encounter had them telling him his song would finish soon, so he’s put it of a little. I didn’t always like Tennant’s casual Doctor schtick.
He sits down with the Elder Ood, voiced by Brian Cox (the Actor not the Professor) who shows him visions.
Wilf being scared, and a man he doesn’t know. “The king is in his counting house.” He’ll turn up later, played by David Harewood.
We also get a bit of a reminder of the end of series 3, and the Master’s death and funeral, and he also sees the Master’s wife, Lucy Saxon, who’s in prison, but is brought to some kind of ceremony to bring him back from the dead.
It looks like it’s working, but Lucy has come prepared with something she’s prepared that will stop him.
The Doctor arrives at the prison too late, and it’s a ruin.
Wilf is out looking for the Doctor, and he’s roped in all his retired friends.
Despite Lucy Saxon’s effort, the Master survived, although he’s very hungry and spending his time harassing homeless people.
The Doctor finds him there, and chases him but can’t catch him. He has to stop when he’s found by Wilf and his friends, who include June Whitfield, who’s very good here.
The Doctor talks to Wilf, telling him that he’s going to die soon. “I was told. “He will knock four times.” That was the prophecy. Knock four times, and then…” “But I thought when I saw you before, you said your people could change, like, your whole body.” “I can still die. If I’m killed before regeneration, then I’m dead. Even then. Even if I change, it feels like dying. Everything I am dies. Some new man goes sauntering away… And I’m dead.” Bernard Cribbins is so good in these scenes.
The Doctor sees Donna through the window. “Can’t you bring her memory back? Just go to her now, go on, just run across the street, go up and say hello.” “If she ever remembers me, her mind will burn, and she will die.”
The programme has had a narration, which kicks into higher gear here, until the narrator ends with “The madman sat in his empire of dust and ashes, little knowing of the glory he would achieve. While his saviour looked upon the wilderness, in the hope of changing his inevitable fate. Far away, the idiots and fools dreamt of a shining new future. A future now doomed to never happen. As Earth rolled onwards into night, the people of that world did sleep, and shiver, somehow knowing that dawn would bring only one thing… The final day.” And we see the face of the narrator, and it’s only Timothy bloody Dalton.
The Doctor finds the Master again, he tries to reason with him, but then a bunch of soldiers appear and grab the master.
He’s been captured by tech bro Joshua Naismith and his daughter, They want him to fix a device they’ve recovered from an alien spaceship.
Wilf is seeing that woman from the church again. “You’re an old soldier, sir. Only you were too late. The war was won and passed you by.” “I did my duty.” “You never killed a man.” “No, I didn’t. No, I did not, no. Don’t say that like it’s shameful.” “The time will come… when you must take arms.” “Who are you?” “Tell the Doctor nothing of this. His life could still be saved. So long as you tell him nothing.” He goes upstairs and finds his old service revolver.
He spots the Doctor out of the window and goes to talk to him. He tells hi that Donna had a strange reaction to the book he was given, a biography of Joshua Naismith. This gives the Doctor a clue where to look for the Master. Wilf finally gets to be in the Tardis.
Naismith shows the Master the device he wants him to get working.
Two o the human scientists working on the project have to go to the basement to check on something, and while there, we learn that they’re actually aliens, and they’re trying to recover the machine because it’s their technology. One of them is played by Sinead Keenan, who was in Moving Wallpaper.
When they drop their human disguises, they look like a green version of whatever Bannakaffalatta was in Voyage of the Damned.
Back with the machine, the power and feedback for it has to be monitored constantly, so there’s a two-person booth where one technician has to be there all the time, and they swap around. This will become important.
The Doctor arrives, and soon finds the aliens, who tell him that the machine is a gate, which is a medical device to repair the body, but that it works on the whole planet.
There’s been a few mentions earlier that President Obama is going to announce a solution to the worldwide depression, and that’s happening right now.
The Doctor goes up to where the gate is running. The Master has corrected whatever problems stopped it working, and he then jumps into it. He tells them he’s going to fix the whole world, using his body as a template.
The Doctor puts Wilf into one of the monitoring booths, and himself in another. Because it’s shielded from radiation, it stops the machine affecting Wilf.
Pretty soon, every human on Earth is the Master. John Simm must have been really busy filming all these scenes, given all the costume changes they needed.
Then the narrator returns. “And so it came to pass, on Christmas Day, that the human race did cease to exist. But even then, the Master had no concept of his greater role in events. For this was far more than humanity’s end. This day was the day upon which the whole of creation would change forever. This was the day… the Time Lords returned. For Gallifrey. For the end of time itself!” What a cliffhanger.
Media Centre Description: It is Christmas Eve, and the Doctor is reunited with Wilf to face the return of an old enemy.
Recorded from BBC ONE on Friday 25th December 2009 17:58
After this there’s a trail for Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End.
Plus an Eastenders trail. Then the recording ends with the start of the Strictly Come Dancing Christmas Special.
The next recording is the last part of the Royal Institution Christmas Lectures.
We learn that Aphids give birth to live young, and those young are clones of themselves.
A volunteer has to play at being a Ladybird eating aphids.
The Horse Chestnut Leaf Miner is an invasive species in this country, and it thrives here because its usual predator where it comes from has not also travelled here.
The audience get to throw paper planes, to illustrate how different butterflies can fly further than others.
Dr Wolfgang Stuppy explains how different plants have their seeds dispersed, sometimes with the help of animals.
Professor Hartley visits a seed bank to see how scientists are storing samples of lots of seed.
There’s another adorable guest – a ring-tailed lemur.
Media Centre Description: Ecologist Professor Sue Hartley shows how the epic 300-million-year war between plants and animals has shaped us and the world we live in. Will pest outbreaks become more common in the future as plant defences weaken?
Recorded from More 4 on Friday 25th December 2009 19:00
After this, the recording ends with the start of Making War Horse all about the RSC stage production.
The final recording today starts with the end of Citizen Kane.
Media Centre Description: First of a two-part film profile of Orson Welles, looking at his life and career in theatre, radio and particularly film. With Jeanne Moreau, John Huston, Peter Bogdanovitch, Robert Wise, Charlton Heston, and a detailed interview with Welles himself. This part deals with his work up to Touch of Evil.
Recorded from BBC FOUR on Friday 25th December 2009 20:58
The first recording today starts with the end of Shaun The Sheep. Then, what I thought was a single episode of The Sarah Jane Adventures turns out to be four hours of back to back episodes. Since all the episodes are repeats, here’s all the continuity between them, featuring Iain Stirling and Hacker T Dog. Media Centre Description: […]
Show full content
The first recording today starts with the end of Shaun The Sheep.
Then, what I thought was a single episode of The Sarah Jane Adventures turns out to be four hours of back to back episodes.
Since all the episodes are repeats, here’s all the continuity between them, featuring Iain Stirling and Hacker T Dog.
Media Centre Description: Back-to-back episodes of the drama about a journalist who solves alien mysteries with the help of her teenage son and his friends. [S]
Recorded from CBBC Channel on Thursday 24th December 2009 09:58
The recording ends with the start of Tracy Beaker.
The next recording starts with a trail for Hamlet.
Then it’s a movie, South Pacific.
This is a Rodgers and Hammerstein musical, based during World War II, and the Americans at war with Japan in the Pacific.
It features the song There is Nothing Like a Dame (which you might have seen on Morecambe and Wise). In the centre is Ray Walston as Luther Billis, the Delboy of the US marines here.
Juanita Hall plays Bloody Mary, the local counterpart to Billis, who makes her money selling grass skirts and other local trinkets to the visitors.
This movie has the wackiest colouring. Every time there’s something mysterious, or sad, or emotional, the picture gains some colour filter or other. Apparently, the director has said that he thought the effect would be more subtle than it turned out. It’s certainly distracting, even when the effect is supposed to make the mysterious island of Bali Hai more mysterious.
Rosanno Brazzi plays Emile de Becque, a Frenchman who is reputed to have come to the islands after he killed a man in France. I don’t know why they chose an Italian actor to play a French character. Maybe they thought all foreign accents are the same. He gets to sing Some Enchanted Evening, another of the show’s certified bangers. He’s falling for Nurse Nellie Forbush, played by Mitzi Gaynor. She gets a lot of good songs, like Cockeyed Optimist and I’m Going To Wash That Man Right Out Of My Hair.
John Kerr plays Lt. Joseph Cable, who’s newly arrived on the island, and who’s there to run a special mission on one of the neighbouring islands to observe the Japanese naval movements and help the Americans attack them more precisely. I’ve played Joe Cable on stage when we used to do amateur dramatics. I wasn’t as young and skinny as he was, though. He gets a couple of good songs.
Luther Billis gets Cable to requisition a boat to go to Bali Hai, and it’s obvious he’s mainly going for the sex tourism. It’s all a bit creepy, frankly.
Talking of creepy, Bloody Mary takes Joe Cable away from all the festivities then introduces him to a young girl, Liat. “We are very pretty people no? Liat nice daughter no? Make nice wife yes?”
It doesn’t take them long to hit it off. And he sings his main song, Younger than Springtime. It’s a nice song and lovely to sing. At the time, I’d also practice by singing it to my youngest daughter who was only two at the time, when she couldn’t sleep.
Emile and Nellie are also getting along well. Until he introduces her to two young children, and tells her they are his children, but her mother, a local woman, had died. Nellie is shocked by this revelation because of racism (although nobody says that out loud). She reconsiders her relationship with Emile. He can’t understand why. See what I mean about the overdone filters.
Another of the famous songs in the show is Happy Talk (older readers will remember Captain Sensible’s version of this.) But Cable is also having second thoughts, and says he can’t marry Liat, also, presumably, because of racism.
After Nellie puts on a show for the troops, Emile comes to see her, to get her to reconsider, but she can’t throw off her reactions.
She leaves, and Emile asks Joe why she thinks that way. He says “What makes her talk like that? Why do you have this feeling, you and she? I do not believe it is born in you. I do not believe it.” Joe replies “It’s not born in you. It happens after you’re born.” Then he sings his other big song, You’ve Got To Be Carefully Taught. It’s not as beautiful as Younger Than Springtime but it’s a really powerful song about how racism works. “You’ve got to be taught to hate and fear. You’ve got to be taught from year to year. It’s got to be drummed in your dear little ear. You’ve got to be carefully taught.” I confess, I did enjoy singing this one, as it’s nice to sing an angry song once in a while. And it made up for the time a year or so earlier that we did Cabaret, and I had to sing Tomorrow Belongs To Me dressed as a Nazi (because nobody else in the company could sing it).
Since they’re both out of luck romantically, Joe persuades Emile to join him on his surveillance mission, because Emile used to live on the island now occupied by the Japanese, so they fly out and have to evade capture while sending reports on ship movements.
But their luck doesn’t hold out, and Emile has to report later that Joe has been killed. But he’s able to report that the Japanese are pulling out as a result of their reports helping the American attacks. But his radio report is cut short when Japanese planes appear, and they don’t know his fate.
Nellie hears this report, and that’s enough to change her mind, and hope that Emile can return safely. But she is found by Mary and Liat, and she has to break the news about Joe’s death to them.
She takes on the responsibility of looking after Emile’s children.
Emile returns safely and finds them all there.
They, at least, get a happy ending.
Media Centre Description: Adaptation of Rodgers and Hammerstein’s smash-hit musical set in the wartime tropics, telling the story of two love affairs in parallel. An American nurse falls in love with a local widowed planter who is many years her senior, has children of his own and is very set in his ways. Meanwhile, a young Marine falls for a local native girl. Including hit songs Happy Talk, This Nearly Was Mine and Some Enchanted Evening.
Recorded from BBC TWO on Thursday 24th December 2009 11:53
Then the recording ends with the start of The Tsarina’s Slippers.
We’re staying with musicals for the next recording, which is Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride.
I’ve never watched this before, and my daughter tells me that this was because, when we watched this at the time, she was so scared by the first appearance of the eponymous bride that she asked us to turn it off.
The plot involves young Victor van Dort, who is being pushed into a marriage with a woman he’s never met before. He’s played, with a creditable English accent, by Johnny Depp, in a performance that’s thankfully free from some of his usual weirdness. Luckily for him, he rather falls for his intended bride, Victoria Everglot, played by Emily Watson.
The supporting cast is full of great British performers. Joanna Lumley and Albert Finney play Victoria’s parents.
Victor’s parents are played by Paul Whitehouse and Tracey Ullman.
But things get rather complex when Victor has trouble with the wedding vows during the rehearsal, so he goes into the woods to practice, puts the ring on a tree branch, which turns out to be the skeletal finger of the Corpse Bride, Emily, who arises, and tells Victor that they’re now married. She’s voiced by Helena Bonham Carter. We learn that she was murdered by her fiancée on the night of their elopement, when he stole the dowry she had brought.
Back at Victoria’s house, another man appears, Lord Barkis Bittern, played by Richard E Grant, who brings the news that Victor has been seen with another bride. He wheedles himself into Victoria’s family’s good graces, and they soon decide that Victoria should marry him.
Meanwhile, Victor, now trapped in the underworld, is starting to bond with Emily, She gives him a present – his dog who died some years ago. Over time, he decides that he should honour his inadvertent wedding vows, and properly marry Emily. Even though this will have to involve him dying.
He decides that the wedding should take place in the living world, and there’s a scene where all the dead are appearing in the town, and there’s a lot of fear, but then the people realise that the dead people are their friends and relatives, and it becomes surprisingly heartwarming.
The wedding starts, and gets to the point where Victor has to drink the wedding wine, which will kill him, when Emily stops him. “This is wrong. I was a bride. My dreams were taken from me. Well now I’ve stolen them from someone else. I love you Victor. But you’re not mine.” She takes his hand and puts it in Victoria’s hand, who has been watching from the sidelines.
The wedding is interrupted by Lord Barkis Bittern, who points out that he’s already married to Victoria. Emily recognises him – he’s the man who murdered her. There’s a bit of a fight, but then Emily tells Barkis to leave, which he agrees to do, but he has to drink a toast to Victor and Victoria – not knowing it’s the wine that was supposed to kill Victor. Now he’s dead, the other dead can take him down to the underworld.
Victor says he should still honour his promise to Emily, but she tells him “You kept your promise. You set me free. Now I can do the same for you.”
She leaves, and turns into butterflies.
Media Centre Description: Fantasy stop-motion animation featuring the voices of Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter and Emily Watson. Victor is pledged to marry Victoria but forgets his lines in the wedding rehearsal. While he is walking through the woods practising his vows, he puts Victoria’s wedding band on what looks like a branch, but this proves to be a big mistake – he has put the ring on the skeletal finger of the enchanted Corpse Bride, who insists that she is now Victor’s wife.
Recorded from ITV 1 on Thursday 24th December 2009 17:58
After this, the recording ends with the start of You’ve Been Framed.
The next recoding starts with the end of Kirstie Allsop doing her perfect Christmas table.
Then it’s the next episode of the 2009 Royal Institution Christmas Lectures.
Professor Sue Hartley talks about breeding plants for various reasons, and meets a man who breeds giant vegetables.
They use a chainsaw to slice open a pumpkin.
A volunteer has to root around in the pumpkin to get seeds.
She hurls a stuffed panda at some green bricks to illustrate how some plants grow to be too tough to eat.
She brings on a chocolate fountain, to talk about how chocolate is also a plant poison. There are a lot of volunteers to help sample the chocolate.
She talks about the flavinoids in chocolate, and their beneficial effects in preventing the aging process and helping to prevent cancer. She brings on Professor Cathie Martin, who has done work to transplant genes from the snapdragon flower into tomatoes to produce purple tomatoes which contain a lot more flavinoids.
She has a model that illustrates how wild rice can grow a snorkel to survive deeper water.
Media Centre Description: Ecologist Professor Sue Hartley shows how the epic 300-million-year war between plants and animals has shaped us and the world we live in. Professor Hartley asks whether humans are natural herbivores, and tackles the issue of GM technology.
Recorded from More 4 on Thursday 24th December 2009 18:58
The recording ends with the start of The 100 Greatest Christmas Moments.
The next recording starts with the end of American Hotrod.
Then it’s Mythbusters – Chinese Invasion Alarm.
The first myth, Chinese Invasion Alarm, says that in China, they would put large ceramic drums into pits around the city, and they would detect the sound of invaders. So Kari and Grant have build drums of the right size.
Tori starts building something to simulate the sound of an approaching army.
The other myth today is the Five Second Rule, when you drop food on the floor, but pick it up within five seconds, then it’s safe to eat. They start by taking samples from their kitchen to check the level of bacteria.
There’s some new information about the invasion alarm story – they’ve learned that the invaders it was meant to detect were actually tunnelling into the city. So they have to build a bigger drum, which requires Kari to have to shave the hair of the goatskin they’ve got for the drumhead.
One result from the cleanliness testing is that their toilet seat has the least contamination.
They sample various foodstuffs that have been dropped on the floor, along with some controls that haven’t been dropped.
To test the invasion alarm, they find an old gold mine, and dig a hole some distance away.
The Five Second rule seems to be busted, as all the samples picked up contamination, and the time didn’t seem to affect it.
Jamie and Tori venture into the mine and start using pickaxes, to see if their noise can be detected.
This myth is plausible, because Kari was able to accurately detect the sounds being made by the pickaxes from where they’ve buried the drum.
Media Centre Description: Special effects experts test the bizarre claims of urban legends. The Mythbusters find out whether ancient Chinese armies used drums to detect sapper attacks on their castles. They also test whether a dropped object collects fewer germs if picked up quickly, and learn who has the cleanest mouth – human or dog.
Recorded from Quest on Thursday 24th December 2009 19:58
The next recording starts with a trail for James May’s Toy Stories, Top Gear and Steve Coogan.
Media Centre Description: Adaptation of Arthur Conan Doyle’s chilling thriller. Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson have to confront the forces of evil on Dartmoor when they are called in to investigate the gruesome death of Sir Charles Baskerville. Is it possible that one of the century’s most developed deductive minds has met his equal?
Recorded from BBC TWO on Thursday 24th December 2009 20:58
There’s a trail for Hamlet, for Three Men go to Ireland and for Catherine Tate: Nan’s Christmas Carol.
Then the recording ends with the start of The Grumpy Guide To Christmas.
The next recording is Victoria Wood’s Midlife Christmas.
There’s a satire of period dramas, Lark Pies to Cranchsterford.
There’s an advert for a language course, but it’s for mindless banter.
There’s a documentary on the actress who played Mrs Overall, Bo Beaumont.
She’s being interviewed by Jason Watkins.
She’s going to be on Strictly Come Dancing, partnered with Anton du Beke, but when she shows absolutely no sign of even wanting to tap a foot, and thought they would spend 16 weeks learning a dance, rather than learning one dance a week for 16 weeks, she pulls out.
I spotted Daisy off of MI High in the Cranchesterford scenes, actress Isobel Powley.
Abdul Salis commentates on the Women’s parking event in the Midlife Olympics. “Kathy Daker’s struggling, as usual, with Chevrons. She was in a Volvo with a dog cage that may have affected her reversing.”
Bo beaumont, having left Strictly, talks to Delia Smith about appearing on a new show. But when asked for her signature dish, her suggestion of “Crackermole” “TUC crackers. A piece of sardine. And then a squeeze of lime.” “Lime juice. That’s the kick of the molé.” “And then on a plate.” “In a spiral, arranged in a spiral.” She doesn’t get the gig.
Reece Shearsmith gives a sermon.
Victoria plays Margaret Mountford alongside a Nick Hewer in an Apprentice dance.
Bo Beaumont briefly visits the Who Do You Think You Are team in Television Centre, but that doesn’t happen because she won’t tell them her real name or date of birth.
She gives I’m a Celebrity a go, but is outraged that the producer who talks to her considers Jan Leeming to be a celebrity.
Slipped on a Chip offer money if you slip on a chip at work.
Next on Bo’s schedule is a meeting with Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean for a chance to be on Dancing on Ice. It goes as well as everything else has.
The show closes with Victoria singing The Ballad of Freda and Barry, along with a whole dance number.
Media Centre Description: BAFTA award-winning actress and comedian Victoria Wood is back with a Christmas special. Victoria Wood’s Midlife Christmas features highlights from the Midlife Olympics 2009, the popular costume drama Lark Pies to Cranchesterford and the further adventures of soap star Bo Beaumont played by long term collaborator Julie Walters.
Recorded from BBC ONE on Thursday 24th December 2009 21:01
After this there’s a trail for The Royle Family and Nan’s Christmas Carol.
Finally today, it’s a Father Ted Christmas Special – A Christmassy Ted.
This has so many memorable bits. There’s Ted’s dream about being in Ballykissangel, featuring Dervla Kirwan and Stephen Tompkinson.
Mrs Doyle’s Nemesis, an automatic teamaker. “Yes, Teamaster really takes the misery out of making tea. Well, what do you think?” “Maybe I like the misery.”
On a trip to the department store, they leave Father Jack with the kids.
All the priests get trapped in the lingerie department.
“You let Dougal do a funeral?”
Ted getting the Golden Cleric Award and giving a long, score-settling speech. “And now we move on to liars.”
Media Centre Description: Ted, Dougal and a host of other misfit priests become lost in Europe’s largest lingerie department as Ted’s leadership helps avoid an ecclesiastical disaster. For his services to the Church, Ted is awarded a coveted Golden Cleric.
Recorded from More 4 on Friday 25th December 2009 00:03
The recording ends with the start of Deal or No Deal. Oh dear me.
Here’s the Corpse Bride ad breaks.
Here’s the Christmas Lectures ad breaks.
Here’s the Mythbusters ad breaks.
Here’s the Father Ted ad breaks.
Adverts:
Furniture Village
DFS
Nina
trail: Take Me Out
trail: ITV 1 Christmas Family Films
British Gas
St Trinians 2 The Legend of Fritton’s Gold in cinemas
Peter Pan at the O2
Nina
DFS
B&Q
LG Washing Machine
Halfords
Wii Sports Resort – Ant & Dec
trail: Ant & Dec’s Christmas Show
Jean Paul Gaultier Classic
Argos
Magnet
Benecol
Olympus Pen – Kevin Spacey
Harrods Sale
Strepsils Honey & Lemon
Lemsip Max All in One
Dreams
PC World
trail: ITV 1 Christmas Movies
Chanel No 5
Halfords
iPhone 3GS
Strepsils Cool
Lego
Moben
Sharps
Furniture Village
Homebase
trail: Piers Morgan’s Review of the Year
trail: Christmas on CITV
Pepsi Max
Debenhams
Dreams
PC World
trail: Take Me Out
trail: The Royal Ballet in Cuba
Windows 7
Lacoste Challenge – Hayden Christensen
Duracell Ultra
Blu-Ray
O2
Moben
Sharps
Nat West
trail: Christmas Eve on Film 4
trail: True Stories: Cat Dancers
Mastercard
Audi
Olay Regenerist
Halfords
B&Q
Max Factor Second Skin Foundation
Activia
trail: Indian Winter
trail: Decoded: Dan Brown’s Lost Symbol
Nintendo DS Crossword
LG Washing Machine
Activia
Debenhams
Pantene Naturefusion
British Gas
B&Q
J’Adore – Charlize Theron
trail: Coming up on More 4
trail: The Nutcracker/The Royal Ballet In Cuba
Max Factor False Lash Effect
Chanel No 5
trail: This December on Film 4
Matthew Bourne on audience etiquette
trail: The Sun
Halfords
PC World
212
Harveys
Carlsberg
KFC
Confused.com
Tesco
Ferrero Rocher
Jean Paul Gaultier Classic
Coca Cola
trail: Raw Nature
trail: SOS Coast Guard Rescue
LG Washing Machine
PC World
Tesco
Citroen C3
Confused.com
KFC
NHS Stroke Advice
Ferrero Rocher
Bacardi
Tesco
trail: How Stuff Works
trail: L.A. Hard Hats
Debenhams
Alvin and the Chipmunks 2 The Squeakquel in cinemas
The first recording today starts with the end of UFO. Then it’s a repeat of Space 1999 – The Bringers of Wonder (part 1). Media Centre Description: The Bringers of Wonder (Part 1): Commander Koenig seems to have a nervous breakdown, but when he awakes from his induced coma he does not see friends – he sees […]
Show full content
The first recording today starts with the end of UFO.
Media Centre Description: The Bringers of Wonder (Part 1): Commander Koenig seems to have a nervous breakdown, but when he awakes from his induced coma he does not see friends – he sees hideous creatures.
Recorded from ITV4 on Wednesday 23rd December 2009 10:18
After this the recording ends with the start of The Saint.
Next it’s an episode of Art Attack.
Neil does some acting, with x ray pictures.
The Big Art Attack has a dressing up theme.
He invents an arbitrary art style with some simple rules.
There’s a film of people making stained glass art.
Neil makes mosaics with eggshells.
Media Centre Description: Neil Buchanan presents the fast-moving art show packed with tips, teasers and eye-catching visuals. Neil has a smashing time making pictures from egg shell and gives lots of arty advice on how to make your artwork really individual.
Recorded from CITV on Wednesday 23rd December 2009 11:58
Media Centre Description: The Bringers of Wonder (Part 2): The aliens plan to manipulate three Alphans into blowing up the Moon’s nuclear waste dumps to create energy. To catch up, go to http://www.itv.com/itvplayer.
Recorded from ITV4 on Wednesday 23rd December 2009 15:53
The recording ends with the start of The Champions.
The next recording is the third part of Royal Institution Christmas Lectures.
Professor Sue Hartley is talking about plants communicating, which she illustrates by getting the audience to blow bubbles, representing the chemical signals the plants put out.
She torments a young man with a feather duster and a knitting needle.
She introduces Carl the Caterpillar, and describes experiments she did as a student, to find out if different ways of harming plants would cause them to emit different amounts of plant defences. She found that cutting plants with scissors caused less defence to be emitted than a caterpillar eating the leaves. So she tested whether adding caterpillar spit to the damage by scissors increased the defence, and it did. She’s obviously quite proud of this work as a student.
There’s a model of the inside of a plant cell that makes the biology look a lot like a game of Mousetrap.
Next she introduces us to another parasitic wasp, which are attracted by plants being eaten by caterpillars.
This young chap has to feel inside the model caterpillar, and he pulls out a lot of goo, and some wasp grubs that were laid inside the caterpillar by the wasp.
The grubs eat the insides of the caterpillar before emerging. Wasps really are bastards.
She makes a small boy climb through a y-shaped tube to illustrate how the wasp uses smell to find food.
She shows a plant that grows to provide space for ants to live, and then can use the ants to protect it from other predators.
She demonstrates this by putting a caterpillar into a lot of ants. This seemed a little cruel.
Media Centre Description: Ecologist Professor Sue Hartley shows how the epic 300-million-year war between plants and animals has shaped us and the world we live in. Professor Hartley looks at the ways in which plants communicate. Although they do not have mouths, ears or eyes, plants are able to communicate with other plants and animals in complex ways that are not obvious to humans.
Recorded from More 4 on Wednesday 23rd December 2009 18:58
The recording ends with the start of Jamie Cooks Christmas.
The next recording is Mythbusters – Mythbusters Revisited.
First, it’s whether a bullet hit to the chest can throw a person back six feet. But even the huge 50 caliber gun just knocks Buster down.
They retest the walking in the rain myth.
A new question from a viewer is whether black car get hotter than white cars in the sun.
Retesting part of the Explosive decompression myth, they test whether the effect of high speed air travelling over a bullet hole would create enough suction to pull off the window or part of the fuselage.
Then there’s whether a man working on a tall building could survive if they were holding a piece of plywood and the wind caught it. Could they use the plywood as a parachute.
Finally they retest whether shooting a petrol tank would make it explode.
Media Centre Description: Special effects experts test the bizarre claims of urban legends. The Mythbusters repeat past experiments that got controversial results, including a bullet myth, the plywood parachute, running in the rain, and hot black cars. Were their original conclusions correct?
Recorded from Quest on Wednesday 23rd December 2009 20:02
The final recording today starts with the end of the National Lottery midweek draw.
There’s a trail for Eastenders.
Then it’s Not Going Out – Absent Father Christmas.
I’m not entirely sure what made me record this, since I didn’t watch the regular show much, and this is the only episode I’ve got recorded. It’s not that I didn’t like it, just it didn’t make enough of a mark.
Maybe I recorded this because the plot revolves around Lee’s estranged father, who turns up on Boxing day wanting to reunite with his son. He’s played by Bobby Ball, so that would have been a possible reason.
I did like Lee’s reminiscence of a childhood event with his father.
And the callback later on.
Media Centre Description: Sitcom. Lee’s father turns up at the flat unannounced. This is the man who walked out of the family home when Lee was four, never paid his maintenance and ate Lee’s goldfish. Lee wants him out of the flat, but Lucy tells him that the only way forward is to forgive and forget. Unfortunately, Lee’s dad’s behaviour makes this virtually impossible for Lee to achieve.
Recorded from BBC ONE on Wednesday 23rd December 2009 22:43
The first recording today is a repeat of Space 1999 – Beta Cloud. Media Centre Description: Beta Cloud: Intergalactic adventures of the space-travelling Moonbase Alpha team. To catch up, go to http://www.itv.com/itvplayer. Recorded from ITV4 on Tuesday 22nd December 2009 09:23 The next recording is another episode of Art Attack. Neil makes some Skateboard art. The Big […]
Media Centre Description: Beta Cloud: Intergalactic adventures of the space-travelling Moonbase Alpha team. To catch up, go to http://www.itv.com/itvplayer.
Recorded from ITV4 on Tuesday 22nd December 2009 09:23
The next recording is another episode of Art Attack.
Neil makes some Skateboard art.
The Big Art Attack has an American Football theme.
He shows how to draw shiny things, with Shine Lines.
He paints a mirror picture.
Media Centre Description: Neil Buchanan demonstrates more fantastic arty tips and crafty techniques, including a way to get realistic metallic effects into pictures with just a couple of blue lines, a clever way of painting reflections and how to design a cool snowboard. Plus, an American-flavoured Big Art Attack.
Recorded from CITV on Tuesday 22nd December 2009 11:58
Media Centre Description: The Lambda Factor: Intergalactic adventures of the Moonbase Alpha team. A young technician dies a horrible death in mysterious circumstances. To catch up, go to http://www.itv.com/itvplayer.
Recorded from ITV4 on Tuesday 22nd December 2009 13:53
After this the recording ends with the start of UFO.
The next recording today is the second of this year’s Royal Institution Christmas Lectures.
Professor Sue Hartley talks about the 300 Million Year war between animals and plants.
She brings plenty of animals to the stage, which is popular with the audience. Here’s Ypgi the St Bernard.
Jerry the Shetland Pony gets and even better reaction.
A little boy has to whack a plant cell really hard to get the nutrients out.
A sloth also gets a good reaction.
She introduces what she calls “The Bruce Willis of the herbivore world”, a cow. Not a real cow this time for reasons that will become apparent.
We get to see a cow’s tongue, which it uses to eat grass. Something like one bit every second apparently.
“Rabbits have to eat their own poo.” This programme is full of shocks.
They unravel the cow’s intestines, which stretch all round the hall.
A cow also has to poo around 20 times a day. This young boy got to pull the tail up and then have the poo fall on his foot.
Aphids don’t get quite the same reaction from the audience that the Shetland Pony did. Despite them pooping sugar, which is called honeydew.
Even worse is a Gall Former. It’s a type of wasp that’s caring and nurturing and who am I trying to kid – “somehow the wasp Injects something into the plant and instead of the plant making a nice leaf it makes a sort of tumor. So somehow this tiny insect gives the plant some sort of cancer and it makes the plant produce a little house for the baby wasps.”
There’s a bit of a game to illustrate the difference between specialists, which eat a narrow range of foods, and generalists, which eat a lot of different things.
Media Centre Description: Ecologist Professor Sue Hartley shows how the epic 300-million-year war between plants and animals has shaped us and the world we live in. Professor Hartley shows the many ways that herbivores have evolved to overcome the problems posed by living on a less-than-nutritious diet of plants.
Recorded from More 4 on Tuesday 22nd December 2009 18:58
After this the recording ends with the start of Christmas at River Cottage.
The next recording starts with a promo for BBC Three’s Be On TV where viewers can upload clips of them introducing programmes. I’m so used to YouTube quality these days that the quality of webcams in those days is shocking.
Media Centre Description: Christmas Eve, 1851, and Cybermen stalk the snow of Victorian London. But when the Doctor meets another Doctor, the two must combine forces to stop the rise of the CyberKing.
Recorded from BBC THREE on Tuesday 22nd December 2009 18:58
The final recording is Mythbusters – Escape Slide Parachute.
One of the myths today is a story about a fighter pilot who had a lot of hair cream in his hair, and a spark from his helmet ignited the cream in the pure oxygen of the cockpit and caused such an explosion that it decapitated the pilot. This is illustrated by a rather disturbing picture of Adam.
They try some small scale tests to see if hair would catch fire. The first test, just on a bundle of hair with no hair cream, doesn’t ignite with a spark, but the same setup with the hair all covered in hair cream bursts into flame.
The other myth is that a passenger in a crashing plane could survive by opening a raft or the plane’s escape slide and hanging on to it as it falls – like in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. First they have to attach Buster to a liferaft.
But Buster doesn’t stay secured as the raft is dropped from a helicopter, and falls off, smashing into pieces when he hits the ground.
Back to the hair cream myth, and Adam tries on one of the wigs they’ve made for the test pilot’s head.
When they try dropping an escape slide, that seems to fall with a bit more certainty. rocking a lot but not turning over.
Back to the hair cream pilot, and this time they do get quite a bit of fire. But not violently enough to decapitate the pilot.
Media Centre Description: Special effects experts test the bizarre claims of urban legends. The Mythbusters go to the spectacular Mojave Desert to test whether a parachute or a life raft could be made from airline evacuation equipment.
Recorded from Quest on Tuesday 22nd December 2009 20:02
The Recording ends with the start of Mighty Ships.
Here’s the first Space 1999 ad breaks.
Here’s the Art Attack ad breaks.
Here’s the second Space 1999 ad breaks.
Here’s the Christmas Lectures ad breaks.
Here’s the Mythbusters ad breaks.
Adverts:
Alvin and the Chipmunks 2 The Squeakquel in cinemas
Dove Go Fresh
Audi
La Nuit de L’Homme
Emporio Armani Diamonds – Beyonce
trail: Guinness Premiership Rugby
Olympus Pen – Kevin Spacey
Pepsi Max
trail: ITV4 This Winter
Olympus Pen – Kevin Spacey
T-Mobile
Quick Quid
postgoldforcash.com – Anne Diamond
The Medical Accident Group
Lemsip Max
trail: ITV4 Movies at Christmas
trail: Guinness Premiership Rugby
Homebase
O2
gocompare.com – Gio Compario
H. Samuel
trail: ITV4 This Winter
trail: Christmas on CITV
trail: Wolves, Witches & Giants
trail: Mini CITV
Pat & Stan
Alvin and the Chipmunks 2 The Squeakquel in cinemas
Wii Just Dance
Match Attax
Barbie Fashionistas
Brainbox
Bendaroos
Moshi Monsters
Paperoni
Adopt a Dolphin
Elf & Safety
trail: MPAA
Park 14
Wii Just Dance
Barbie Fashionistas
San Miguel
gocompare.com – Gio Compario
O2
trail: ITV4 This Winter
BT Broadband
Finish Dishwasher Cleaner
Castrol Magnatec
Olympus Pen – Kevin Spacey
Love Cyprus
postgoldforcash.com – Anne Diamond
Pepsi Max
Nurofen
trail: ITV4 Movies at Christmas
Nat West
Olympus Pen – Kevin Spacey
Dogs Trust
Lemsip Max
Armani Code
Diesel Fuel for Life
BT Vision
trail: Guinness Premiership Rugby
Nat West
WKD
Tool Station
National Lottery Scratch Cards
O2
Olympus Pen – Kevin Spacey
trail: ITV4 This Winter
trail: ITV4 Movies at Christmas
Homebase
gocompare.com – Gio Compario
T-Mobile
Carte D’Or
trail: Guinness Premiership Rugby
Actimel
O2
Moben
trail: Christmas on Good Food
Audi
Olympus Pen – Kevin Spacey
Idylle
No7 – Keeley Hawes
Aptamil
Pampers
Thomson
Sainsbury’s
La Nuit de L’Homme
Emporio Armani Diamonds – Beyonce
Olympus Pen – Kevin Spacey
Max Factor Second Skin Foundation
Braun Shaver
Mastercard
L’Oreal Collagen Filler
Comet
Thomson
Castrol Magnatec
Somerfield
Homebase
Diesel
Armani Code
D&G
Wickes
Actimel
trail: Tattoo Hunter
Coca Cola
Sainsbury’s – Jamie Oliver
Avatar in cinemas
Food Standards Agency – Germ Watch
San Miguel
Very.co.uk
Alvin and the Chipmunks 2 The Squeakquel in cinemas
Christmas is fast approaching so we’re getting some special programmes. The first recording today is Victoria Wood: Seen on TV. It’s hard to imagine anything made about Victoria Wood being anything but brilliant. This is entirely wonderful. Even an interview piece talking about being recognised in public, she keeps having to warn the camera crew about […]
Show full content
Christmas is fast approaching so we’re getting some special programmes. The first recording today is Victoria Wood: Seen on TV.
It’s hard to imagine anything made about Victoria Wood being anything but brilliant. This is entirely wonderful. Even an interview piece talking about being recognised in public, she keeps having to warn the camera crew about signposts they are backing into, but it’s just natural.
There’s a lovely shot of her meeting fans backstage, and they’re wearing the yellow berets of one of her characters.
The programme also has a huge number of talking heads, and they seem like a strange mix, but they all obviously love her work.
Clive James.
Dawn French
Bobby Crush, presumably there as an expert in winning TV talent shows on the piano.
Celia Imrie.
Julie Walters.
Director David Leland encouraged her to write a play.
Duncan Preston.
Geoff Posner directed As Seen On TV.
Michael Ball.
Reece Shearsmith.
Alan Titchmarsh.
Susie Blake. To this day I still think of many of her lines.
Alan Cumming.
Jimmy Tarbuck.
Richard Curtis.
Johnny Vegas.
Richard E. Grant.
Arlene Phillips.
Clarissa Dickson Wright.
Jo Brand,
The programme moves to the Dinnerladies era with Andrew Dunn.
Kim Woodburn.
Roger Moore. “She’s very clever. She gets good people around her. Except me, that was one of her mistakes.”
Anne Reid.
Media Centre Description: Victoria Wood looks back at her hugely successful television career. Featuring sketches, stand-up, characters and songs from her incredible repertoire as well as exclusive interviews with Victoria and friends and fans, including Dawn French, Julie Walters and Sir Roger Moore.
Recorded from BBC TWO on Monday 21st December 2009 20:30
including a 50s big band show, a Dickensian saga, a tale of a northern brass band, and a documentary set aboard a cruise liner. The all star cast includes Alan Rickman, Julie Walters and Pete Postlethwaite.
Recorded from BBC TWO on Monday 21st December 2009 22:02
After this there’s a trail for Hamlet and a BBC Christmas promo featuring Vic and Bob.
There’s a trail for the Christmas Gavin and Stacey.
Then a trail for James May’s Toy Stories, Top Gear Special and Steve Coogan – Inside Story.
Then the recording ends with the start of Dinnerladies.
The next recording is Russell Howard Live. No offence to Russell, whose material is often fun, but after a couple of hours of Victoria Wood he’s quite exhausting.
Media Centre Description: Live stand-up from Russell Howard, star of Russell Howard’s Good News and Mock The Week, recorded at The Bloomsbury Theatre during his sell-out 2007 tour.
Recorded from BBC THREE on Monday 21st December 2009 23:22
The next recording is Russell Howard’s Good News Xmas Special.
Media Centre Description: Festive edition of the topical comedy series hosted by Russell Howard. Usually seen offering his unique perspective on the big stories dominating the media across TV, online and in print, as well as picking up on those sometimes overlooked things that make him smile, this seasonal special sees Russell taking on traditional yuletide topics. He considers some of the more unusual aspects of the mince pie and sherry-soaked merry-go-round we call Christmas.
Recorded from BBC THREE on Tuesday 22nd December 2009 00:30
Then the recording ends with the start of Moves Like Michael Jackson.
The final recording today starts with the end of Jim Clark: The Quiet Champion.
There’s a trail for Screenwipe Review of the Year and Orson Welles at Christmas.
Then it’s the last part of Games Britannia – Joystick Generation.
It starts off looking at Dungeons and Dragons coming to Britain. Benjamin Woolley talks to the founders of Games Workshop, Steve Jackson.
And Ian Livingstone. They’re in Ian Livingstone’s kitchen.
But the programme soon moves into the world of computer games. Charlie Brooker says the Spectrum was the people’s computer.
But he also says that BBC Micro was for posh kids, which comes as a surprise to me, who saved up for a year with my Saturday job at Sainsbury’s before I could afford to buy my own BBC Micro.
Peter Molyneux must have really loved his Beeb. “I was one of those people who, the second I saw these things called home computers, that was it, I was hooked. I got rid of my girlfriend, I replaced her with a BBC Micro and that was it, you know, I was there.”
There’s Ian Bell, co-creator of Elite.
And David Braben. But rather annoying for me, the clips of the game being played weren’t the original BBC Micro version.
But we do get to see some of the original game sketches from one of their notebooks.
Peter Molyneux talks about his God Games, starting with Populous, and including Black and White.
The programme looks at Tomb Raider. Charlie Brooker says “She shoots a lot of endangered species in the face.”
Rhianna Pratchett talks about Heavenly Sword, that game we’re all still talking about today.
We look at Wipeout, another game I never played, since I think it was a Playstation exclusive title and I had an XBox. Plus, I was never a huge fan of racing games.
The morality of computer games is discussed when they look at Carmageddon, where you get points for running over pedestrians.
He talks to a fashion student who plays Grand Theft Auto, who spent the first half hour of the game finding the perfect in-game costume.
Dave Jones, co-creator of GTA, points out that even novels and films have gone through periods when some subject matter was shocking or banned.
He talks to the creators of Little Big Planet, a game with a distinct social dimension as players can create their own worlds and share them.
He speaks to Richard Bartle, who co-created MUD, the Multi-User Dungeon game that was the first multiplayer game.
Media Centre Description: Series in which Benjamin Woolley looks at the history of popular games in Britain. He explores the journey games have taken from the board to the screen, reflecting the changing history of modern Britain. In the 1980s, imagination was harnessed in video games like Elite, while the boom years of the 90s introduced characters like Lara Croft to a world beyond video as gamers were propelled into the internet age. In the present, he finds our morality tested in the world of Grand Theft Auto.
Recorded from BBC FOUR on Tuesday 22nd December 2009 02:28
The first recording today is Art Attack. Neil shows how to draw a cat’s face. The Big Art Attack is a Limbo themed picture. He makes a Hand in a Box. He makes a painting on a layer of sand. Media Centre Description: More arty ideas, as Neil Buchanan demonstrates how to paint with sand, shows […]
Show full content
The first recording today is Art Attack.
Neil shows how to draw a cat’s face.
The Big Art Attack is a Limbo themed picture.
He makes a Hand in a Box.
He makes a painting on a layer of sand.
Media Centre Description: More arty ideas, as Neil Buchanan demonstrates how to paint with sand, shows an easy way to draw cats, reveals a clever trick to shock family and friends with, and enlivens a party with a Big Art Attack.
Recorded from CITV on Sunday 20th December 2009 11:58
After this there’s a short episode of Tricky TV.
The next recording is Art Attack – Christmas. But a different Christmas to the last one.
Neil makes a Red-nosed Rudolf to go on the top of your tree.
He has a little helper for his Christmas Big Art Attack.
He shows how to use Cotton Wool to make a snowy picture.
He makes a Christmas Card that’s also a pop-up Christmas Present.
Media Centre Description: How about making something really special for the top of your Christmas tree, or surprising your friends and family with a Christmas card that’s a present as well!
Recorded from CITV on Sunday 20th December 2009 12:30
Media Centre Description: Bulletproof Water: Find out how deep to dive to dodge a speeding bullet. The boys also try to push a playground swing over its bar, and the result is explosive.
Recorded from Quest on Sunday 20th December 2009 15:58
The recording ends with the start of a repeat of Mythbusters – Border Slingshot.
The next recording starts with the end of the Border Slingshot episode.
Then it’s Mythbusters – Killer Tissue Box.
The main myth here is, would a tissue box on the back parcel shelf of a car become a lethal projectile in the case of a car crash at high speed? They discuss the myth with Adam standing on stilts. Just because.
The build a test rig that they can use repeatedly, rather than try crashing multiple vehicles. This sled will be pulled by a pick-up truck to get to the desired speed, then it’s stopped abruptly by a cable attached to the back of the sled, simulating the sudden stop of a crash without destroying the sled.
Meanwhile Tori and Kari are at a renaissance faire because the next myth is whether it’s possible to split an arrow from nock to tip in the style of Robin Hood.
Tori has done some archery himself, so he’s going to be trying it himself.
They try an automated rig to get some consistency with the shots.
Back to the Killer Tissue Box testing – although they also want to test a few more things on the parcel shelf that might be more dangerous than a box of tissues – like an axe, a bowling ball and a fire extinguisher.
The axe certainly does hit rather hard. But the tissue box barely made a mark, and Adam and Jamie rate this myth as busted.
As is the arrow splitting. Even when they get loads of archers at the renaissance faire to have a go, nobody can replicate the classic movie split.
To finish off the programme, after busting both myths, they decide to crash the car they first used in the pole vaulting car myth.
Media Centre Description: Special effects experts test the bizarre claims of urban legends. The Mythbusters find out whether a tissue box sitting on the parcel shelf of a car could become a lethal missile in a collision.
Recorded from Quest on Sunday 20th December 2009 17:58
The next recording is James May’s Toy Stories – Lego.
In this episode, James wants to build a whole house out of Lego, and stay the night in it.
There’s a lot of unsuccessful attempts to make Lego structures that can support the weight of a person.
It’s another community project, and people are quite happy to come along and construct large Lego bricks for the main house construction.
There’s thoughts on what the design will be like in terms of colour schemes.
The build begins with James laying a cornerstone.
he gets rather annoyed when he discovers that one of the volunteers has sneaked a single pink brick into an otherwise red one. “Now, I didn’t notice that because we were building the wall from the other side and it wasn’t until we got up to there that we spotted it, which means it’s embedded forever. And if it was you who did this, I hate you.”
The furniture prototypes are not standing up to a sitting down yet.
The main construction is not without issues.
The interior designer has to insist that some of the upper layers are removed, as they don’t match the designs. “And then we get to this brown, this Winnie the Pooh poo colour. Then they put the Italian flag up. There’s no consistency with the design intent of a slick, streamlined house.”
Finally, the engineers seem to have perfected a design for the first floor that can support a man’s weight.
Finally the house is finished.
Even the door lock and key are Lego.
James likes it. “I’ve never seen anything like this. I think it’s just… stupendous.”
Some of the furniture still doesn’t work.
Interior designer Christina gets quite emotional when she visits the finished house.
Other visitors include Gerald Scarfe, who has brought a portrait of James done in Lego.
Also visiting is Jane Asher (who also happens to be married to Gerald Scarfe).
She’s brought some Lego chocolates,
Sometime collaborator of James’s, Oz Clarke, brings some wine.
And James spends the night in his new house.
Media Centre Description: James May continues his quest to show what is possible with old-fashioned toys by using them on a scale never seen before. With thousands of people and over three million Lego bricks, James attempts to do what no-one has ever managed – to build a two-storey house out of this colourful toy.
Recorded from BBC TWO on Sunday 20th December 2009 19:00
After this there’s a trail for David Tennant’s Hamlet.
Then the recording ends with the start of Top Gear.
The final recording today has trails for Screenwipe Review of the Year and Orson Welles at Christmas.
Then it’s Games Britannia – Monopolies and Mergers.
The first game featured is Mansion of Bliss, a game designed to teach children about good behaviour and whose goal is “to reach a place of virtuous ecstasy.” It inspired a very similar game, The Mansion of Happiness, which was marketed in America.
In America is where games flourished at this time. Like the Chequered Game of Life designed by a young printer, Milton Bradley, who would later go on to run the hugely successful MB Games.
Steve Jackson: “I always think that the ideal game is the game where the winner thinks he’s won because he’s been played it skillfully. And the losers feel that they’ve lost because they had bad luck.”
Back in Britain, a political game called Pank-a-Squith featured the battle between Emmeline Pankhurst, leader of the women’s suffrage movement, and her arch enemy, Prime Minister Herbert Asquith. “The aim of the game was to get a woman into that bastion of male oppression and exclusion the Houses of Parliament.”
Brer Fox and Brer Rabbit is a game inspired by Land Tax and it’s a trading game.
This inspired an American property game, based around Atlantic City, called Monopoly.
The grandson of the Chairman of Waddington’s (who himself was chairman later) relates how his grandfather reacted when sent the original Monopoly with an eye to selling it in the UK. “Well, the items are so marvellous, the little hotels and houses. And then these little metal trinkets, which Darrow the inventor is supposed to have taken from his wife’s charm bracelet. We were immediately captivated. And then, of course, there was the money. So we had the ingredients for a great game.”
But the programme gives due credit to Elizabeth Magie Phillips, who designed the earlier Brer Fox and Brer Rabbit, and also an American version called The Landlord’s Game. Charles Darrow spotted a handmade copy of this game in Atlantic City and he took the ideas and transformed it into Monopoly.
Benjamin Wooley attends the British Monopoly Championship, and meets that year’s winner, John Broomfield.
David Parlett talks about the next big British designed board game Cluedo. “to my mind it’s not actually a board game. It’s a card game. The only purpose of the board as far as I can see is to delay the playing of the cards because you can’t challenge somebody and get information from the cards until you’ve reached a particular room. But nothing else actually happens on the board.”
We’re heading into the 80s now with Trivial Pursuit, which the programme says was inspired by the popularity of TV quiz shows, allowing players to become quizmasters.
There’s a look at Kensington, a game I’ve seen in the shops, but which I never saw being played in the wild. Perhaps it was too new-fangled.
There’s a random clip of Terry Nutkins playing Space Invaders with Johnny Morris watching.
Dungeons and Dragons features next.
War on Terror was the first game to have been classified as an offensive weapon, after it was confiscated, along with knives, chisels and bolt cutters from a protest group who were planning a raid on a power station.
Media Centre Description: Series in which Benjamin Woolley looks at the history of popular games in Britain. He traces the political and social impact that board games have had over the last 200 years. The crusading element in is perhaps best exemplified by the best-selling game in history – Monopoly – which celebrated wealth and avarice in the wake of the Great Depression. Woolley traces their development through the post-war heyday to the information age, where they have evolved to include fantasy role-playing games.
Recorded from BBC FOUR on Sunday 20th December 2009 19:58
The first recording today is an episode of Art Attack. Neil makes a mobile of flying jets. In another case of programmes echoing today, the Big Art Attack is a Dhow, intended to show the inspiration for the Burj Khalifa in Dubai. He paints a desert scene with watercolours. He makes a “Yippee Birthday” pop up […]
Show full content
The first recording today is an episode of Art Attack.
Neil makes a mobile of flying jets.
In another case of programmes echoing today, the Big Art Attack is a Dhow, intended to show the inspiration for the Burj Khalifa in Dubai.
He paints a desert scene with watercolours.
He makes a “Yippee Birthday” pop up card.
Media Centre Description: Neil Buchanan has more arty and inspired ideas. Today, he demonstrates how to make a supersonic jet in your room, makes a greeting card that’s something to shout about, takes inspiration from some architecture for a Big Art Attack, and shows how to get a hot, dusty desert effect in a painting.
Recorded from ITV1 on Saturday 19th December 2009 10:08
The recording ends with the start of our next recording…
The next recording is a movie that my kids used to enjoy when they were much younger, but which they haven’t really returned to. It’s Tooth, about the Tooth Fairy, and it’s surprisingly charming.
I originally only watched this recording, so I missed a little bit of setup, which comes at the end of the previous recording.
The film opens with an awful lot of exposition in the form of newspaper headlines, the odd thing being the only newspaper anyone seems to read in this story is The Sceptical Examiner. It sets up a lot of the premise of the film.
We meet young Tom Wallet as he fantasises about breaking a speed record in a supermarket trolley.
His mother is Sally Phillips. The first surprise is that this is all set in the US, despite it being the most obviously shot in Britain thing imaginable, and most of the cast are familiar faces from the UK.
They obviously have money troubles, as her card is declined, and the cashier (played by a young Craig Parkinson off of Line of Duty) takes her photo and puts it up on the store’s Wall of Shame.
Tom’s little sister Tolly loses a tooth.
That night, they are visited by a tooth fairy, but we don’t see her yet.
This is where the previous recording ends, and we miss what happens. We rejoin it next day as the family has the bailiffs arrive to repossess some furniture.
After this searing piece of social realism, we skip underground to meet the fairies in Fairytopia, which has seen better days, and we soon learn that there’s no magic any more, and none of them fly. There’s more familiar faces here, including Anna Wing (Lou Beale off of Eastenders) as “Ancient Fairy”.
I don’t think this was an expensive film, but it’s certainly quite busy, visually. They’re making an effort.
Tim and Tolly’s dad is presented as being a bit of a deadbeat. We meet him as he falls down from climbing up being an advertising hoarding. He says it’s to overcome his crippling fear of heights, because he’s touring with a Greatest Hits band – it’s never explained but maybe they’re a cover band. It’s enough for us to know that he wants to be able to jump off the stage into the arms of his “adoring” fans. “Stage dive!” I will say that most of the character beats of the characters are pretty rudimentary.
Now it’s time to meet the villain of the piece, who we meet reading the Sceptical Examiner (note the British spelling of Sceptical) who are accusing him of lying about discovering a giant squid. We never see this squid, it’s just backstory to drive his motivations.
This is Harry Enfield as Mr Plug, who runs a company called Plug Security, and who seems to want to hunt mythical creatures.
Another of the fairies is played by Debbie Chazen, who was in Tittybangbang and the Doctor Who Christmas Special Voyage of the Damned.
Then there’s the eponymous Tooth, played by Yasmin Paige, Maria in The Sarah Jane Adventures. She’s rather tired of the fairies’ lack of magic, and wonders why nobody tries to find the mysterious Mrs. C who disappeared long ago and took the magic with her. She has to visit Tom and Tolly because Tolly has lost another tooth. Tolly has written her a note, telling her they need help, and asking for a gazillion dollars. Tooth decides to rebel against the rules, and do something.
As a result, Tolly wakes up with her nose touching the ceiling, as her bed is now covered with a gazillion dollar. A fact they decide to hide from their parents. Given their dad, at least, this is sensible behaviour.
So they bundle all the money into a lot of bin bags, and fill up their garage.
Then they go on a spending spree. One thing he does is return to the store from the start and ask to buy the Wall of Shame from Craig Parkinson.
Back in Fairytopia, they’ve discovered Tooth’s prank, and she’s in trouble with the man in charge – the Easter Bunny (voiced by Jim Broadbent). He tells her she’s going to be hated, because the gazillion dollars she gave away was supposed to pay for Christmas.
Mum comes home, and the bin men appear to be taking out all the bin bags from the garage, which is the most unrealistic thing in this whole movie. The bin man is Roy Holder, who’s was in so much stuff in the 70s. I guess I remember him most for Ace of Wands.
Mum finds Tooth in the house, looking for the money. Tom and Tolly get back from their shopping spree and try to make excuses for her. Mum is horrified when she discovers that he’s been in town throwing money around.
She’s even more horrified when all of Tom and Tolly’s purchases turn up.
Unhappily for Tooth, who has come to get the money back, it’s all gone from the garage after the bin men took it.
They hear a voice from a van nearby. “Oh, not the money. Not the money. I don’t believe it. The money’s gone. Oh, this is the end.” Mum grabs a crowbar and opens the back of the van, to find the Easter Bunny there.
Then Plug arrives with his team, and he spots Tooth, but he also spots the Easter Bunny. Who spots Plug, and to get away, he uses a recording of someone talking about interior carpeting, designed to put people right to sleep. This is a running gag, as Tooth used it to put Tom to sleep when he woke up when she was in their room. The Bunny closes the van doors and drives away with Mum and Dad in the back. But Plug managed to get a tracker on the van before he fell asleep.
Tom, Tolly and Tooth drive away to find Mrs C, who is Santa Claus’s wife, to get magic back. Tolly dropped her toy rabbit, though, and when Plug wakes up he finds it, and shows it to some kind of scary animal that we never see, to track her.
Tom, Tolly and Tooth find someone called Puddle, who’s a little helper, and who has been trying to find Mrs C. But before they can get very far, Plug’s men arrive and try to get through the door, so Tom Tolly and Tooth have to leave through a chute our the back. Puddle gives them the name of someone else who can help them.
He’s Jarvis Jarvis who lives on a golf course and is played by Richard E Grant.
His partner is Bon Bon, played by Jerry Hall. They are retired Fairy Godparents.
They agree to help them find Mrs C, but as they’re walking Plug’s goons find them again. Jarvis Jarvis and Bon Bon keep them away with golf balls while the kids get away.
Unfortunately, the kids make the fatal mistake of going to hide in some haystacks being tended by some dodgy looking people, who turn out to be Plug’s goons, and the haystacks hide a van.
To get information out of them, he brings in “The Extractor”, a sadistic dentist played by Vinnie Jones. He makes all the usual scary motions, until he suddenly uses one of his tools to pick Tooth’s locks, grabs and hugs her, and explains that he’s a tooth fairy too. And I genuinely think this is Vinnie Jones’ greatest performance because it requires him to be something other than a big thug. He’s really funny and charming. And he tells them that he managed to find Mrs C, but couldn’t get her to return to Fairytopia. He sends them away with instructions on how to find her.
They find a laundry van with a rainbow logo on it, and after evading another of Plug’s men, they hide in it, and it takes them where they need to be. It’s an old castle.
Inside they find a home for retired magicians.
Stephen Fry is in charge.
They finally get to meet Mrs C. Played by Phyllida Law. She doesn’t think the world deserves magic, and she’s definitely not impressed when Tooth tells her that she needs to fix things otherwise all the fairies will hate her. They all leave, disappointed, but not before Tolly leaves her toy rabbit for Mrs Claus. “To make you happy.”
Outside, Plug is there again, and grabs Tom and Tolly. Tooth intervenes but Plug forces her to show them how to get to Fairytopia.
At least the kids are reunited with their parents.
Plug is delighted at his success.
But Mrs Claus returns. Because she’s realised that there are some people who still believe in magic.
Plug grabs the Easter Bunny, and Tolly, and bundles them in his van, then goes back up the elevator.
Once out, he starts collapsing the car wash that’s over the elevator, intending to bury Fairytopia.
Ben Moor plays a fairy, who shows them a camera feed, showing the kids’ Dad climbing the ladder up to the top, despite his fear of heights.
Mrs Claus gets Mum to talk to him over the intercom to encourage him. It’s exactly like The Abyss except he’s going up rather than down.
The only thing that can help is if Tooth can fly again. But all the other fairies have to want magic for it to work. And if you’re wondering, even this stupid film is making me cry at this point.
She takes Tom and flies out, then they grab a supermarket trolley and go chasing after Plug. So he gets to break a speed record after all.
Plug isn’t impressed when they arrive. “Let them go, Plug. Or I’ll make you.” “You and what, Army?”
Then the doors open, and there’s an army of fairies outside.
And they can all fly.
But still Plug is able to grab Tolly, bundle her into the box with the scary animal, and get outside.
But Dad has climbed out of the elevator, run all the way here, and he defeats Plug by… doing a stage dive. This film is nothing if not setup and payoff.
There’s more reunion.
Plug is humiliated.
Tolly gets a new babysitter.
And Tom has a friend now.
Honestly – this is not a very good film, and yet I really enjoyed rewatching it after all these years. It’s clunky and derivative, but it has charm, and all the famous faces help pass the time. And it pressed a lot of my buttons.
Media Centre Description: Children’s fantasy adventure. Sick of the lack of magic in Fairytopia, a feisty young fairy named Tooth decides to leave more than just a few pennies for each tooth she collects. A young girl wakes up to find her room submerged beneath a mountain of money – a godsend for her cash-strapped family. But Tooth finds herself in big trouble when Fairytopia goes bankrupt, and she must retrieve the money before Christmas is cancelled.
Recorded from ITV1 on Saturday 19th December 2009 10:42
After this, there’s a new bulletin, with a report on the COP15 conference, a British soldier dies in Afghanistan, trains trapped under the Channel Tunnel.
The next recording takes us over to CITV for another episode of Art Attack.
Neil gives advice on how to draw horses.
The Big Art Attack is a giant squid. Maybe this is Mr Plug’s giant squid.
He makes a gargoyle out of newspaper and sand.
A graffiti artist paints a mural.
We’re back to fairies with this nice effect by using chalk.
Media Centre Description: Neil Buchanan presents the fast-moving art show packed with tips, teasers and eye-catching visuals. There are some tips on how to draw magical beings using chalk and how to make gruesome gargoyles to guard over your room. The size of the picture is not the only thing that’s giant about this Big Art Attack! And if you have ever found it difficult to draw a horse, Neil will show you an excellent way to cheat!
Recorded from CITV on Saturday 19th December 2009 11:58
The recording ends with the start of the next episode.
The next recording is the next episode of Art Attack – Xmas.
Neil makes a googly eyed Santa.
The Big Art Attack is a Christmas scene.
He does a nice drawing on brown paper.
He makes some pop-up Christmas cards.
Media Centre Description: It’s Neil’s favourite time of the year and he’s got a sack load of seasonal Art Attacks for you to make in time for Christmas!
Recorded from CITV on Saturday 19th December 2009 12:23
After this there’s a short Art Attack Mini Make where Neil makes a jungle scene.
The final recording today is the last in series 2 of Merlin – The Last Dragonlord.
The dragon, which Merlin released last week, is now attacking Camelot, and it’s looking all a bit apocalyptic.
The only way to stop the dragon is to find the last of the Dragonlords. Uther had had the rest of them killed, of course. Gaius tells Merlin that the Dragonlord they are going to search for, Balinor, is actually Merlin’s father. I was slightly surprised by this, as I thought they’d had an episode with Merlin’s father a while back, until I realised that I’m thinking of an episode of Robin Hood.
There’s some nice Dragon effects in this episode.
Merlin and Arthur go on a mission to find the last Dragonlord, but Arthur has been injured, and is getting sicker.
Merlin goes on to the cave where they’ve been told Balinor now lives, and Arthur asks for his help to treat Arthur. Balinor is played by John Lynch.
He’s not happy about the idea of helping Uther, considering that Uther killed all the other Dragonlords, and lied to him to get him to bring the dragon to Camelot. “Let Uther die. Let Camelot fall.”
Arthur recovers, and can’t persuade Balinor to help, so they leave, but not before Merlin tries to appeal to him. “Gaius spoke of the nobility of Dragonlords. Clearly he was wrong.” “Gaius?” “Yes.” “A good man.” “Yeah. I was hoping you’d be like him.”
This clearly does the trick, as Balinor finds them as they return to Camelot. And Merlin gets the chance to tell him that he’s his son.
He even gets a present from his dad.
But this reunion doesn’t last long, as they are set upon by some enemy soldiers, and Balinor takes a sword in the gut to save Merlin. “Listen to me. When you face the Dragon… remember… be strong. A dragon’s heart is on its right side, not its left.” “I can’t do it alone.” “Listen to me. You are my son. I’ve seen enough in you to know you will make me proud.”
Back at Camelot, Merlin tells Gaius he can’t stop the dragon with his magic, but Gaius tells him that he could only inherit his father’s powers as a Dragonlord now his father is dead.
Arthur takes his knights to a forest to face the dragon. Merlin goes with them, but spends most of the battle looking miserable and helpless – I guess that gives the programme time to do more dragon special effects. Arthur stands against the dragon, ducks a fire breath, and gets in a shot with a spear, but the dragon swipes him away.
Merlin hears his father’s voice in his head. It’s all a bit “Use the force, Luke”. “You are the last dragonlord now. You alone carry the ancient gift. Deep within yourself you must find the voice that you and Kilgharrah share, for your soul and his are brothers. When you speak to him as kin, he must obey your will.” Merlin starts speaking whatever this magic language the programme has used, and the dragon listens.
The dragon still speaks in English, though. “I am the last of my kind, Merlin. Whatever wrongs I have done, do not make me responsible for the death of my noble breed.”
Merlin tells him to leave, and never return to Camelot. And to stop killing innocent people. The dragon flies away.
Guinevere is happy to see Arthur return.
Gaius is similarly happy about Merlin.
Media Centre Description: Fantasy drama. The Great Dragon is finally free. Full of rage, he attacks Camelot with pitiless intensity. The castle is crumbling and Arthur’s men cannot hold out much longer but only a Dragonlord can kill a dragon and Uther wiped them all out years ago. Or did he? Gaius admits one such man could still be alive and in hiding. The last Dragonlord is the key to Merlin’s own past as well as the future of Camelot, but will Arthur and Merlin find Balinor in time to save the kingdom?
Recorded from BBC ONE on Saturday 19th December 2009 17:43
After this there’s a trail for the Doctor Who Christmas special. Then there’s the first time I’ve seen the full BBC One Christmas ident featuring Doctor Who.
The recording ends with the start of the Strictly Come Dancing grand final.
Here’s the first Art Attack ad breaks.
Here’s the Tooth ad breaks.
Here’s the final two Art Attack ad breaks.
Adverts:
Asda
Windows 7
Cluedo
Blackberry
Quaker Oats Oat So Simple
trail: Christmas on CITV
T-Mobile
Game
Hasbro Game Night
Disney DVD
WH Smith
Littlewoods.com
McDonalds – Alvin and the Chipmunks 2
Cluedo
Dove Heat Defence Therapy
Co-op
trail: Far From Home
Boots
WH Smith
British Gas
Asda
XBox 360
Littlewoods.com
Homedics Shiatsu Massagers
Windows 7
Blackberry
Vaseline Moisture Locking Lotion
Dove Heat Defence Therapy
Nivea
Blackberry
Jean Paul Gaultier Le Male
Magnet
J’Adore – Charlize Theron
Waterstone’s
Rabbids Go Home
Littlewoods.com
Cow & Gate
T-Mobile
L’eau Ambree
Windows 7
Boots
Halfords
Vaseline Moisture Locking Lotion
Asda
Littlewoods.com
Jean Paul Gaultier Le Male
trail: Ant and Dec’s Christmas Show
trail: ITV 1 Christmas Family Films
Game
Carphone Warehouse
The Perfume Shop
gocompare.com – Gio Compario
Asda
WH Smith
Magnet
Olympus Pen – Kevin Spacey
trail: Christmas on CITV
trail: A Night of Heroes: The Sun Military Awards
trail: Take Me Out
Wildlife Fromage Frais
trail: The Little Reindeer
Barbie Fashionistas
Whac-A-Mole
Nickelodeon DVDs
Match Attax
GX Racers
Virgin Media
Daily Mirror – Tenth Doctor Magazine
Morrisons – Nick Hancock
The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks
St Trinians 2 The Legend of Fritton’s Gold in cinemas
The first recording today is a repeat of Space 1999 – Space Warp. Media Centre Description: Space Warp: Intergalactic adventures of the space-travelling Moonbase Alpha team. Eagle One gets lost in space. Recorded from ITV4 on Friday 18th December 2009 10:18 The recording ends with the start of The Champions. The next recording is a later broadcast […]
Media Centre Description: Space Warp: Intergalactic adventures of the space-travelling Moonbase Alpha team. Eagle One gets lost in space.
Recorded from ITV4 on Friday 18th December 2009 10:18
The recording ends with the start of The Champions.
The next recording is a later broadcast of the same episode of Space 1999.
Media Centre Description: Space Warp: Intergalactic adventures of the space-travelling Moonbase Alpha team. Eagle One gets lost in space.
Recorded from ITV4 on Friday 18th December 2009 14:53
The recording ends with the start of The Saint.
The last recording today is Mythbusters – Border Slingshot.
The myth is that people are being thrown over the US southern border fences by a giant slingshot and landing on mattresses. So as a preparation for this, they try out some handheld slingshots.
There’s footage of an English project where they used a Trebuchet to hurl people 55 metres into a safety net. But during the time it was being used, one woman bounced off the safety net and broke her pelvis, then later, a 19-year-old man missed the safety net altogether and died.
They start reasonably small, launching small weights with various types of elastic cord to test which is the best for building their full size rig.
They scale up a bit using football goalposts (or whatever the Americans call them) to make a bigger slingshot, and should launch 1kg bowling balls. But the first time they try, the ball gets tangled up and doesn’t launch, but instead it rebounds back towards Jamie and Adam.
As a result they switch to an automatic release mechanism so they can be further away while launching.
The full size slingshot needs a lot of surgical tubing. “Oh, my guts fell out! This is what you look like after sextuple bypass surgery.”
The towers for the slingshot are genuinely impressive, and very tall. As Adam notes, the size they’ve had to build does make the myth even more unlikely, because it’s not something that could be easily mobile. “This is not something you could pull up with on a flatbed, launch someone and then be gone before the border patrol could catch you.”
The tension on the slingshot is created by two trucks pulling the ropes tight in opposite directions.
This doesn’t look like a comfortable way to travel across the border.
The second launch is another boomerang.
The third is more successful, despite the passenger almost falling off the slingshot. It flew 211 feet. But this is still way underneath the distance the myth says, and the team’s assessment is that this myth is busted.
Media Centre Description: Special effects experts test the bizarre claims of urban legends. The Mythbusters investigate the story that immigrants are becoming human projectiles, firing themselves 200 yards across the border into the United States.
Recorded from Quest on Friday 18th December 2009 19:58
The first recording today starts with the end of American Hotrod. Then it’s Mythbusters – Bulletproof Water. The first myth is that if you get deep enough in water, even if people are shooting at you the bullets lose all their speed. Their first test rig sees Jamie shooting straight down into a plexiglass column, with ballistics […]
Show full content
The first recording today starts with the end of American Hotrod.
Then it’s Mythbusters – Bulletproof Water.
The first myth is that if you get deep enough in water, even if people are shooting at you the bullets lose all their speed. Their first test rig sees Jamie shooting straight down into a plexiglass column, with ballistics gel at different heights. The first attempt rather easily goes all the way through the ballistics gel, meaning a fatal shot.
But when he uses a pump action shotgun, that manages to shatter the walls of the tube and water starts pouring out all over the lighting. Which brings the testing to a stop a bit early.
The next myth is whether it’s possible, on a swing, to swing right the way around the top with the chain keeping taught. They build a rig to let them calculate what speed they’re getting.
Tori has a go and he manages to break the swing.
Back to the bullet myth, and they’ve moved to a swimming pool, and Jamie is now shooting at an angle.
What they find is that a lot of the bullets they fire end up breaking into shrapnel at only a few feet.
having failed to get a chain swing to do a 360, they go to the circus and an acrobat helps them use a fixed bar swing, which has the possibility of doing a full 360 because when it reaches the zenith, it won’t just fall straight down because of the rigid bars. But Tori get a bit of motion sickness on the swing.
But the circus performer is able to do a full 360 just under his own power.
Back to the guns, and they break out the biggest gun they’ve got, shooting 50 caliber bullets.
It’s certainly a loud bang.
But even this monster’s bullets fall to pieces in the water.
Back to the swing for a final go at doing a 360 with a chain swing, this time rocket assisted.
Media Centre Description: Bulletproof Water: Find out how deep to dive to dodge a speeding bullet. The boys also try to push a playground swing over its bar, and the result is explosive.
Recorded from Quest on Thursday 17th December 2009 19:58
After this the recording ends with the start of X Machines.
The other recording today starts with the end of Crooked House.
There’s a trail for Charlie Brooker’s Screenwipe Review of the Year.
Media Centre Description: Award-winning political comedy starring Peter Capaldi with Rebecca Front, Roger Allam, Chris Addison, Joanna Scanlan and James Smith. As the election looms and the Opposition eye the prize, the word around the Westminster Village is that Malcolm Tucker is running out of both options and friends. He may have bitten off more than he can chew with Steve Fleming, but when an offer of help appears from an unlikely direction, Malcolm starts to set his finest trap yet.
Recorded from BBC FOUR on Thursday 17th December 2009 23:28
The first recording today is a repeat of Space 1999 – The A B Chrysalis. Media Centre Description: A B Chrysalis: A mystery planet declares war on the Moonbase. The Alphans have one chance – to negotiate with the aggressors. To catch up, go to http://www.itv.com/itvplayer. Recorded from ITV4 on Wednesday 16th December 2009 10:18 After […]
Media Centre Description: A B Chrysalis: A mystery planet declares war on the Moonbase. The Alphans have one chance – to negotiate with the aggressors. To catch up, go to http://www.itv.com/itvplayer.
Recorded from ITV4 on Wednesday 16th December 2009 10:18
After this the recording ends with the start of The Saint.
The next recording is a later broadcast of the same episode of Space 1999.
Media Centre Description: A B Chrysalis: A mystery planet declares war on the Moonbase. The Alphans have one chance – to negotiate with the aggressors. To catch up, go to http://www.itv.com/itvplayer.
Recorded from ITV4 on Wednesday 16th December 2009 15:58
This recording ends with the start of UFO.
The next recording starts with the end of American Hotrod.
Then it’s Mythbusters – Killer Brace Position.
Kari explains the myth of the Killer Brace Position. The myth says that the position you’re told to get into when a plane is crashing is deliberately chosen to maximise fatalities because it’s cheaper for airlines to pay out for a wrongful death claim than for years of medical treatment for crash survivors.
They will have to build a test rig which uses airplane seats, so Kari and Tori go shopping for suitable models.
They get to visit the aircraft safety testers.
This is the first time we’ve seen Grant Imahara in the episodes that we’ve been seeing. I think these episodes are quite random in terms of original broadcast order.
The other myth they’re testing today is whether it’s as dangerous to be having a conversation on a cellphone as it is to be drunk driving. Testing this requires them to take a driving skills course several times. A control drive where there’s no distractions, one where they’re having to use a cellphone, and one where they’ve been drinking.
For the crash test, they have to test materials to make leg bones for the crash test dummies.
Buster is gaining an extended family for this test, and they’re dressed to fly.
Back on the driving skills track, Adam is also taking the test. Now he’s doing the course while having a cellphone conversation.
Then they break out the alcohol, with policemen standing by to administer regular breath tests to ensure they accurately class as driving under the influence.
They apply monitors to Buster for the crash test to tell them how many Gs he suffers on impact, which will tell them the likelihood of death or serious injury.
The rig is dropped from around 15 feet.
All the seats were trashed.
Despite this, and how horrible it looks, all the sensors say that Buster didn’t experience enough sudden force to kill or even seriously injure him. And that was in the non-brace position.
After the second test, where Buster was in the brace position, the results were, if anything, slightly better. “The force to Buster’s head is nearly 20 Gs less than when he sat unbraced. And the gauge in his neck measured less deflection as well, meaning it didn’t even come close to breaking. So, while this looks really bad, like a huge amount of carnage, it’s actually, as far as injury goes, not that bad. So, when sitting in economy, the brace position may literally save your neck.”
A final test is to have Buster sitting backwards, and that’s shown to be the safest position of all.
Kari and Adam do their driving course after drinking a certain amount. It doesn’t go particularly well. And the results tell them that both using a cellphone and driving drunk show similar levels of driving impairment. The myth is confirmed.
Finally, after having disproved the Killer Brace Position myth with Buster, the team take their seats for a drop themselves – not from 15 feet, which would likely have broken legs at least, but from 5 feet, which they think is a bit safer. But even then, they don’t come out unscathed. It seems a rather silly thing to do, to me.
Media Centre Description: Special effects experts test the bizarre claims of urban legends. The Mythbusters ask if the aeroplane brace position is actually designed to kill passengers faster so that airlines can save money on insurance. They also visit a raceway to test whether it is more dangerous to drive while distracted by a mobile phone conversation or after knocking back a few drinks.
Recorded from Quest on Wednesday 16th December 2009 19:58
The final recording today starts with a trail for Christmas food programmes, and a new trail for Gavin and Stacey.
Then it’s a special Doctor Who themed episode of Never Mind the Buzzcocks presented by David Tennant.
The guests are Jamie Cullum.
Catherine Tate
Bernard Cribbins
And Jo Whiley, who is revealed here to be a big Doctor Who fan.
This is, of course, the source of the David Tennant “BARROWMAN!” meme.
Honestly, this thing is just pure Doctor Who fanservice, and I’d forgotten quite how great it is. Here’s someone else’s upload.
Media Centre Description: David Tennant hosts a special Dr Who-themed show with team captains Phill Jupitus and Noel Fielding. Guests include Dr Who stars Bernard Cribbins and Catherine Tate, plus platinum-selling jazz artist Jamie Cullum and Radio 1’s Jo Whiley.
Recorded from BBC TWO on Wednesday 16th December 2009 21:58
After this, there’s a trail for the Doctor Who Christmas Special, The End of Time.
There’s also a trail for Russell Howard’s Good News.
After this, the recording stops with the start of Newsnight in which one of the Newsnight reporters (Justin Rowlatt, I think) has got a bunch of people in his kitchen to see if two climate scientists can persuade them that global warming is real. But both I and my daughter thought he was in the kitchen of the house from Ghostwatch. I’ve checked, and it isn’t but it bears similarities.
The first recording today is a repeat of Space 1999 – Seed of Destruction. Media Centre Description: Seed of Destruction: Sci-fi drama series. An ice-cold replica of Commander Koenig takes control of the moon – and orders its destruction. Recorded from ITV4 on Tuesday 15th December 2009 09:23 The recording ends with the start of The Champions. […]
Media Centre Description: Seed of Destruction: Sci-fi drama series. An ice-cold replica of Commander Koenig takes control of the moon – and orders its destruction.
Recorded from ITV4 on Tuesday 15th December 2009 09:23
The recording ends with the start of The Champions. One of the creators of this, Dennis Spooner, used to live just down the road from a school friend of mine. I never had the courage to ask for an introduction.
The next recoding starts with the end of Film File which was looking at Where the Wild Things Are.
Then it’s a repeat of the same episode of Space 1999.
Media Centre Description: Seed of Destruction: Sci-fi drama series. An ice-cold replica of Commander Koenig takes control of the moon – and orders its destruction.
Recorded from ITV4 on Tuesday 15th December 2009 13:58
This recording ends with the start of UFO.
The next recording starts with the end of American Hotrod.
Then it’s Mythbusters – Jet Pack.
The main myth is whether it’s possible to build a ‘jet-pack’ at home. Jamie gets to try on a professional one like the one that James Bond used in Thunderball, although he doesn’t get to fly with it.
Another myth to look at is Pyramid Power, the idea that the mere shape of a pyramid has magical powers, like preventing fruit from going bad, or sharpening razor blades – I definitely remember that one being discussed in the weekly magazine The Unexplained. They talk to an expert on Pyramid Power, Jerry Nicholson, and I have to say, he’s the least convincing advocate for any pseudoscientific nonsense I’ve ever seen. He’s barely coherent. The programme is polite, though. “The junior team leave Jerry a little older, but none the wiser.”
They build the pyramid frames (which are apparently all you need for the magic) and try various things like half an apple, flowers, or dull razor blades.
Tori also volunteers to use two different razors, one on each side of his face, one of which will stay under the pyramid, to see if there’s a difference betwen how they shave. He’ll be doing this every day for a couple of weeks.
Jamie and Adam meet a man called North East West, who runs an aviation museum that has some prototype flying cars.
They also see a design called Solo Trek, which looks very similar to the design they’ve chosen for their build, with two large ducted fans above the pilot.
Adam is building the fan cowling out of foam, and it’s rather going everywhere.
The rig has to be inspected by the FAA to determine what kind of a vehicle it is. Theirs gets an ultralight classification, which means it gets the go-ahead for an unregulated test flight.
The Pyramid test seems to show that the apples are rotting at different rates, with the one in the pyramid seeming to be rotting slower than the control kept outside the pyramid.
The flowers and milk didn’t show any difference between pyramid and control, and electron microscope pictures of the razor blades show them to be pretty much identically dull.
Adam and Jamie talk to Dr Paul Moller, who’s spent most of his life trying to build a flying car for commercial use. He’s very positive about the future. “Well, I believe, as Dr. Daniel Golden, the ex-head of NASA, that this vehicle will be in the hands of 25 % of the population within 10 years, and he went on further and he said it would be with 90% of the population within 25 years.”
Back tot he mystery of the Pyramid apple, the team wonder that, because Tori didn’t sterilise the blade that split the apple, the two halves may have collected differing amounts of bacteria.
So they re-run the test, with three whole apples, and for a bit of variation, one of them will go into a cube to see if that has an effect. They’re left for four months.
There’s no difference between the Pyramid apple and the control, but the Cube apple looks a little more discoloured. “Well, it’s obvious that cube power is really bad for you.” But in general, this myth is busted.
The Jet Pack, though turns out not to really have the power to lift even Buster the Crash Test Dummy. It can almost just get off the ground, but it doesn’t come close to actually flying.
Media Centre Description: Special effects experts test the bizarre claims of urban legends. The Mythbusters find out whether it is possible to build a James Bond-style jet pack, and investigate the legendary supernatural powers of pyramids.
Recorded from Quest on Tuesday 15th December 2009 19:58
After this the recording ends with the start of Mighty Ships = Peace in Africa.
The next recording starts with this promo for the BBC Website at Christmas.
Then there’s more from the Games Britannia season and Hop, Skip and Jump: The Story of Children’s Play – Moving Indoors.
This looks a how children’s play changed as television started taking hold in the 60s. Laura Hopkins remembers the clapping games she used to play.
Angela Chilvers demonstrates ball games.
Tommy Smith would chalk graffiti on the walls.
John Harris remembers how exciting it was when the circus came to town. “And I never forget one lifted me up on its trunk and I cried with excitement.”
Barry McQueen was a trainspotter.
As the years go by, it becomes more dangerous to play outside, because of increasing road traffic. Lorraine Kavanagh remembers, with some trauma, the time one of her friends was hit by a car when they were playing.
Colin MacFarlane had an even more traumatic experience, when he and his friends witnessed one man slash another man’s throat with a razor. “they drew white chalk marks around the guy’s body. And they took the guy’s body away and the next day we were out in a bright summer’s morning playing in the streets and one of the girls decided to draw hopscotch marks inside the chalked image of a dead man.”
Linda Shanson, who grew up in a more rural area, used to write poetry.
Nimmy March (the adopted daughter of the Duke and Duchess of Richmond) talks about her love of playing conkers.
Thomas Jones grew up on a farm. “I can never ever remember being bored. I can never remember ever saying to my mum and dad what can we do next.”
Television began to cater to children, and Shabnam Mahmood was a Blue Peter fan. “One particular thing I do remember was Christmas time. They got two coat hangers and stuck them together, put lots of tinsel around it and hung baubles from it and that was like a Christmas decoration.” I think that’s one we all remember. It also had candles, and was a potential death trap.
Derek Cleary loved music and would practice any time he could, with a friend and his record player. “We used to go in his back kitchen he’d keep playing it on and off taking the needle off and put it back on again, taking it off, put it back on again till I’d learned the section and then we both learned.”
Steve Wakefield was a fan of science fiction, like Forbidden Planet. I bet he watched the same Wednesday evening showings of all the classics like I did. That was a formative time for me too.
Paul Ramsbottom remembers playing in abandoned houses which were going to be demolished. He remembers watching his old house being demolished.
Keith Dover remembers having to keep his mother informed as to where he was playing, when the lived in a new high-rise.
There’s a classic public information film about the danger of talking to strangers. I think I remember seeing this one at the time.
Francis Lundy loved music and Ballet.
Yasmin Hai talks about being racially bullied at school.
The 80s brings breakdancing and hip-hop, and slightly better representation on TV. Jonzi D remembers his signature move, the backspin.
Dawn Bodey had her hair cut like Joanna Lumley in the New Avengers, The Purdey cut.
Her sister Michelle Bodey remembers playing with Pippa dolls.
Craig Livingstone was good at football, so he liked it when he was picked first for the team.
Nathan Irvine was a big fan of the video game Frogger.
Jennifer Breen believed in fairies.
Chris Sowerbutts talks about his experience at boarding school.
To bring the programme full circle, Laura Kerr remembers the pat-a-cake games she used to play in the 90s. “I went to a Chinese restaurant to buy a loaf of bread bread bread, they wrapped it up in a 10 pound note and this is what they said said said said. My name is Elvis Presley, boys are sexy, sitting in the back seat, drinking Pepsi, have a baby in the navy, boys go *kiss kiss* girls go woo. And then the girls used to lift their skirts up.”
Here’s the whole programme, It’s quite interesting.
Media Centre Description: Series which tells the story of children’s outdoor games in 20th-century Britain. Outdoor play was to dramatically change from the late 1950s onwards. Mass car ownership and the advent of ‘stranger danger’ made the streets more perilous, while television’s influence inspired a new generation of games that were grafted onto the old. Popular songs, fashions, adventure programmes and news stories such as space conquest were turned into a myriad of games and rhymes that reflected the modern world.
Recorded from BBC FOUR on Tuesday 15th December 2009 21:00
After this there’s trails for We Need Answers and In The Spirit of Diaghilev. Then the recording ends with the start of The Envronment Debate.
The final recording today starts with the end of We Need Answers featuring Mark Watson, and Alex Horne and Tim Key.
There’s a trail for Orson Welles at Christmas.
Then it’s a repeat of the earlier Hop, Skip and Jump: The Story of Children’s Play – Moving Indoors.
Media Centre Description: Series which tells the story of children’s outdoor games in 20th-century Britain. Outdoor play was to dramatically change from the late 1950s onwards. Mass car ownership and the advent of ‘stranger danger’ made the streets more perilous, while television’s influence inspired a new generation of games that were grafted onto the old. Popular songs, fashions, adventure programmes and news stories such as space conquest were turned into a myriad of games and rhymes that reflected the modern world.
Recorded from BBC FOUR on Wednesday 16th December 2009 02:58
The first recording today is Mythbusters – Exploding Port-a-Potty. They’re looking for a car that they can make ‘pole vault’ by breaking its driveshaft which drops into a hole in the road. They are also testing a myth about an exploding portapotty. So Adam brings in a sample of his own pooh. There’s also a glimpse […]
Show full content
The first recording today is Mythbusters – Exploding Port-a-Potty.
They’re looking for a car that they can make ‘pole vault’ by breaking its driveshaft which drops into a hole in the road.
They are also testing a myth about an exploding portapotty. So Adam brings in a sample of his own pooh.
There’s also a glimpse of a young Adam Savage in an advert for toilet paper.
Out on the runway while setting things up, Tori is doing bike stunts, which don’t end well.
For the pole-vaulting car, Adam gets to use a jackhammer to big a pothole in the runway they’re using to test the myth.
Kari has the job of testing whether Adam’s poop creates any methane. It’s not looking like it, certainly not enough to fill a portaloo and cause an explosion.
Buster in on the toilet, and they manage to set him on fire, but no explosion.
Jamie is testing the car they’re using for the pole-vaulting car, and manages to lose contact with it, so it almost drives off the runway and heads towards the bay,
The remote control is too much for one person, so Adam has to join Jamie to operate the gear shift.
Back to the portaloo, which they’re having a lot of trouble getting to explode, even after filling it with methane. They try putting a lit flare in it, then filling it up with methane.
This is enough to get the explosion the show really needs.
The pole-vaulting car takes longer, and they have to come back for a second day on the runway, before they finally get a success. Not quite the impressive leap we’ve been promised.
Media Centre Description: Special effects experts test the bizarre claims of urban legends. The Mythbusters light the methane in a port-a-potty and stand well back. Plus, can a broken drive-shaft cause a car to polevault after it hits a pothole?
Recorded from Quest on Sunday 13th December 2009 13:58
The next recording is Mythbusters – Is Yawning Contagious?
The first myth here is whether a toy car could outrun a real car if they were both rolling downhill, purely under the effect of gravity. The team decide to see if they can test how fast a toy car can go, and whether it might just fall apart it really high speeds. One method of testing was to hold the car on the back wheel of a car with its rear jacked up, and running the car wheels to see how fast it might manage,
Adam and Jamie also try their hands a building a toy car that can outperform the regular toys. Adam’s is mostly a big chunk of lead.
The other myth in this episode is Is Yawning Contagious? They recruit some test subjects, but them all in a room, and get them to do mundane tasks like reading about tax law. They get some yawns from their subjects.
Back to the Car vs Car, here’s the competition for the downhill challenge.
After testing 50 people, half of whom were yawned at as they were brought to the testing room, and the other half were not, the subjects who got no stimulus yawned 25% of the time, but those who got a stimulus yawn yawned 29% of the time, which they say confirms the myth.
Back to the car race, and they’re laying down a quarter of a mile of track for the experiment. Which causes some problems when the sun comes out and starts warming the road, as the plastic track expands in the heat and starts buckling.
There’s a third myth – does toast always fall butter side down. This gives them an opportunity for some dressing up.
In the downhill race, Jamie’s car gets ahead of the big car at 100 feet, but by the time if gets to 400 feet (which was the ultimate length of track they were able to lay in the heat) the full sized car beat it by quite a way.
Testing the toast they find that there’s no statistical difference on which side the toast lands, and since they have so much bread left, they go up to the roof and start dropping toast from a great height.
Media Centre Description: Special effects experts test the bizarre claims of urban legends. The Mythbusters test whether yawning is catching, and see if a toy car can beat a Dodge Viper. They also ask whether toast always falls buttered-side down.
Recorded from Quest on Sunday 13th December 2009 15:00
The recording ends with the start of another Mythbusters that I didn’t record.
The next recording starts with the end of the Mythbusters episode Son of a Gun which we saw a couple of days ago.
Then it’s Mythbusters – Breaking Glass.
It’s into the recording studio as they try to test the claim that a human voice can break a crystal glass. They test it with loudspeakers, by finding the tone frequency that resonates best with the glass.
The other myth in this episode is whether a rolling stone really does gather no moss.
To test it they cut some round stones, cover them with a kind of moss smoothie, then slowly rotate them in a large centrifuge.
Back to the sound breaking glass story, they first want to see if an artificial tone can break the glass which they manage to do by putting a piece of wood with a small hole in it between the glass and the amplifier. This manages to break a glass easily.
They recruit a singer who might be able to break a glass with just his voice, rock and roll singer Jaime Vendera, who tells them that his singing mentor used to break glasses with an amplifier and his own voice . Jaime gives it a try and manages quite easily.
Another myth is a vacuum cleaner which was used to suck up petrol and became a jet engine. They go to purchase an older machine, tell the shopkeeper what they’re doing and he asks if they want to try in the store, pours some lighter fluid on the vents and sets it alight.
Back at the theatre, Adam and Jamie have a go at smashing glasses. Jamie can’t quite manage the right note, but after a bit pf practice, Adam hits it perfectly.
Back to the rolling stones and Kari tells us that they’ve been leaving the stones rotating for six months.
The controls, which weren’t rolling around, have grown moss, but the ones which were rolling for all that time haven’t grown any moss.
Back to the vacuum cleaner turning into a jet engine, they do get something of a result.
And for the finale of the glass breaking myth test, Jaime Vendera does indeed manage to shatter a glass just with the power of his voice alone, which according to the show is the first time this has ever been captured on TV.
Media Centre Description: Special effects experts test the bizarre claims of urban legends. The Mythbusters find out if the human voice can really shatter glass, and try to convert a vacuum cleaner into a jet engine. Plus, does a rolling stone gather moss?
Recorded from Quest on Sunday 13th December 2009 17:58
After this the recording ends with the start of an episode of How Stuff Works.
The final recording today starts with the end of How Do You Solve a Problem Like Lolita? which I hope isn’t a reality show to find a young girl to play the object of lust for a creepy older man.
There’s trails for Orson Welles at Christmas and In The Spirit of Diaghilev.
Then it’s Games Britannia – Dicing with Destiny.
Benjamin Woolley embarks on a history of games through the history of Britain. I remember when he was a fresh-faced journalist talking about the Internet in The Net. Now he’s a historian and biographer.
The programme goes through British history, looking at games over the years, starting with a game board, and glass playing pieces, which were found buried in a grave dating back to the time of the Roman invasion in AD 43, along with many other precious relics.
He speaks to Dr Irving Finkel to ask whether it’s possible to discover the rules for this particular game.
He looks at a book from the time of King Athelstan, first king of all England, which describes a different game.
He plays a version of this game with Dr David Howlett.
Not long after Athelstan, a book called Libros de los Juegos documented many of the boardgames that are now familiar to use, like Chess, Drafts and Backgammon.
Caroline Goodfellow talks about the more obvious reason for the popularity of games. “Games are something fun to play and they’re also a great way of wasting time. A few pebbles put a crossing on a stone or on the earth itself and you could play the game very happily.”
He visits Salisbury Cathedral to find, in the cloisters, many scratched images of simple games, cut into the stone to pass the time while people waited.
One of them is unmistakably Nine Men’s Morris, a game I’ve never played, but I’d read about it in books about games and toys when I was young.
He plays this with local historian David Sherratt.
A dice game called Hazard brings the subject round to gambling. This game is the source of the word’s current meaning of something dangerous.
Victoria Coren on the allure of gambling. “Yeah, well, toffs love gambling because, you know, they’re born lucky. They’re not born into a life containing an awful lot of risk. That’s my theory, anyway.” She plays a game called Farrow with Benjamin, a game that’s purely luck and which the player’s chance of winning at any particular time against the house is exactly 50/50, which wouldn’t make it popular with most modern casinos.
Caroline Goodfellow shows him a Victorian parlour game, The Royal Game of Goose. It has a spinner instead of a die, because dice were considered evil and immoral.
He looks at Gyan Chapoor, the Hindi Game of Knowledge, which is the inspiration for Snakes and Ladders.
Andrew Topsfield plays it with him, explaining how it’s supposed to be search for enlightenment.
We learn that the American game Parcheesi is the game we know of as Ludo.
Jonathan Rowson talks about the standardisation of the game of chess that happened in the nineteenth century, with pieces designed by Howard Staunton, and also brought about the first world Chess championship.
Media Centre Description: Series in which Benjamin Woolley looks at how popular games in Britain from the Iron Age to the Information Age are a rich source of cultural and social history, and shows how the instinct to play games is both as universal and elemental as language itself. Ancient games were fundamental, but by the late Middle Ages the spiritual element was being lost as gaming became increasingly associated with gambling. A moral backlash in Victorian times transformed games into moral educational tools.
Recorded from BBC FOUR on Monday 14th December 2009 00:58
After this there’s trails for more Games Britannia and A Child’s Christmases in Wales. Then the recording ends with the start of A History of Christianity.
Here’s the Mythbusters ad breaks (one for each recording).
The first recording today starts with trails for Sorry I’ve Got No Head! and Bamzooki. Then it’s another new show (for the blog anyway) with What’s New Scooby-Doo? – E-Scream. It opens at a big videogame conference, so you can tell this is modern Scooby Doo, and thankfully, it’s modern enough that the grim spectre of Scrappy Doo is […]
Show full content
The first recording today starts with trails for Sorry I’ve Got No Head! and Bamzooki.
Then it’s another new show (for the blog anyway) with What’s New Scooby-Doo? – E-Scream.
It opens at a big videogame conference, so you can tell this is modern Scooby Doo, and thankfully, it’s modern enough that the grim spectre of Scrappy Doo is just a painful memory. Two young men are in the conference after hours, and excited to see there’s new “Osomons” – a thinly veiled Pokemon knock off.
Their new innovation looks like it’s animatronic Osomons.
But their cute catchphrase “It’s fun time!” changes into “It’s fight time!” as they all go a bit Gremlins.
I must just say, I’d totally forgotten what a banger of a theme tune this iteration of the show has. Obviously, as a very old man, I have a very fond attachment to the 70s “Scooby Doo Where Are You?” theme, but this one is also great. Which is lucky, because I’ve got quite a few of these episodes coming up.
I’m not entirely sure , as this episode suggests, that of all the Scooby gang, Velma would be the one who doesn’t want to do cosplay for a visit to a convention.
Velma bumps into Professor Ostwald, who apparently she knows, and my immediate response was “It’s him.”
He shows her his latest invention, a big virtual reality room (looking a lot like a modern Volume stage) and his mystery solving game.
The professor isn’t the only possible culprit (for whatever is going to happen). There’s this bloke, who is infatuated with one of the women working on one of the game company stands.
Velma meets up with the rest of the gang to watch Professor Ostwald unveil his new creations – he’s the man behind Osomons. “it’s a card game and a TV show and a video game and a line of bathtub products.” For some unexplained reason, the rest of the gang are no longer in their cosplay costumes.
As in the opening, the Osomons go feral and start attacking everyone, leading to a mass evacuation.
They run to the exit, but find it’s locked. Dr Ostwald appears and tells them he can’t turn the creatures off. “I created them with self-sustaining energy cells! […] I never programmed the Osomons to do this! Someone is obviously trying to sabotage my game! Kids, I need your help! You have to find out who is trying to ruin me!”
They head back into the hall, and there’s some running about and causing mayhem. Then these two appear, perfectly channelling a tech-bro vibe. “what we just saw would make the biggest blockbuster game ever, and we need to buy it for our company!”
Velma is surprised when Fred doesn’t suggest they split up and look for clues. He says “Well, I think it’d be a lot safer if we stuck together.”
They use an abandoned Buffet to keep the Osomons occupied.
It looks like there’s been a cut, when they come across what looks like two children, but we never see their faces, and the gang just run off, but it sounds like the kids are making zombie noises. Probably a little too much for first thing in the morning.
Princess Powerheart is still there, and she’s been tied up. But the nerd is there to help save her. Maybe he’s the bad guy. But she tells them it was the Osomons who tied her up. “I swear that Laszlo Ostwald is out to get me.” “Why would that be?” “I used to work for him as a computer programmer, but then he fired me and the rest of the staff last year because he wanted to work on some secret project.” So maybe I was right all along.
Things rather escalate when they go to the car park to try to leave with the Mystery Machine, and suddenly the car park fills with water. Daphne loses a shoe and has to put on a spare. Velma wonders why she’s not upset at not wearing matching shoes.
Now the Mystery Machine converts into a submarine.
Fred goes out in the water to find a way to drain the car park.
The annoying video game tech-bros turn up again, trying to promote their new toy, a “Gooey-O”. Velma wonders if she can use the toy to trap an Osomon and see what’s wrong with its wiring. Shaggy says “Well, how about Scoob and I act as live bait? We could lead the Osomons in here.” “Perfect. Wait a second. You want to be live bait? Without even asking for Scooby Snacks?” “Sure, come on, Scoob, old buddy.”
Their trap almost works, but the Osomans get out of the cage they used.
There’s a montage with a bit more playing around with the video game theme.
And some skateboarding.
Then Velma solves the whole mystery when Shaggy is bitten on the arm and yells “Toinks!” She yells out “I’ve solved this mystery” Everything freezes, and Professor Ostwald turns up.
“Bravo, Velma, bravo! You figured it out.” “There never were any Osomons. This is all a game you created for me. I never even left your virtual mystery studio, did I?” “No, you didn’t. But I have to know, how did you figure it out?” “Well, you really created a great mystery. But you don’t know my friends as well as I do.” So I was right all along but for the wrong reason.
She’s reunited with the real gang which finally explains the odd loss of cosplay at the start.
Media Centre Description: Animated series about a group of teenage sleuths and their cowardly dog. Video game characters come to life and menace Scooby and the gang while they attend a game convention.
Recorded from BBC TWO on Saturday 12th December 2009 07:38
Plus a trail for Bear Behaving Badly we’ve seen before. Then the recording ends with the start of Gimme a Break.
The next recording starts with the end of Hole in the Wall.
There’s a short teaser for Sports Personality of the Year and a Christmas Comedy trail, then a trail for the Strictly Come Dancing Semi Final.
Then it’s a new episode of Merlin – The Fires of Idirsholas.
Emilia Fox is back as Morgause, and she’s doing magic to bring a lot of dead knights back to life, it looks like.
She meets with Morgana, who’s already fallen out with Uther, and tells her she could help getting rid of him. She also casts some kind of spell over her. Morgana wakes up back in her chambers.
Having been informed by a farmer that smoke is coming from Idirsholas, a castle that’s been sealed for three hundred years, which might mean something bad is coming, Arthur takes some knights (and Merlin) to investigate, and come face to face with the Knights of Medhir, seven bewitched knights who have somehow been awoken, and will cause death and destruction. They can’t seem to kill them with swords, and only escape when Merlin collapses a ceiling on the knights.
When they get back to Camelot they find everyone there asleep.
Everyone except Morgana. Merlin tells her he thinks it’s her magic stopping her falling asleep like the rest, but promises not to tell Arthur anything.
Arthur finds Uther, also asleep. Merlin says “See, he’s all right.” “He is not all right!” “He’s just asleep. All we have to do is find a cure, a way to wake them.” He also lies and tells Arthur that Morgana was given a cure by Gaius which protected her.
Merlin tries some spells to wake Gaius but nothing really works.
Merlin asks the dragon what’s happening. The dragon is getting tired of Merlin asking for help, and not freeing him from his chains as he had promised. But he tells Merlin that Morgana is the source of the sleeping sickness, and Merlin must kill her. “The spell is woven with magic of such power that even you are not immune. You must act now, before it’s too late. If you do not, then Camelot will fall and Arthur will die. And the future you were destined to share will die with you.”
He goes back to the castle, where Arthur is trying to find a way to get Uther out of the castle so they can hide from the knights. Merlin and Morgana drag Uther’s body down a corridor but they’re pursued by a knight. Merlin leaves Morgana for the knight and pulls Uther away, but the knight doesn’t kill Morgana. Arthur arrives and manages to push the knight down some stairs, so they get to another room, and temporary safety.
Merlin is now looking very suspiciously at Morgana after the knight spared her. Arthur is looking for something to stop the sickness. “Unless we can rid ourselves of this sickness, I don’t see how we can hold out.” Merlin says “We have to destroy the source of the magic.” “Which is…?” “I don’t know.”
Arthur tries to buy some time by facing the knights outside the room.
While he and Morgana try and make a rope to lower Uther into a cart outside, Merlin poisons the water with Hemlock.
He then persuades her to drink some. She starts choking. Morgause can sense something’s wrong.
She bursts through the barred door to find Morgana dying. “What has he done to you?” He won’t tell her what he used, until she calls off her attack. “I don’t want this any more than you. But you give me no choice. Stop the knights and you can save her.” She says some magic and the knights stop fighting. Merlin shows her the bottle of Hemlock.
Arthur returns, Uther wakes up. Morgause says some magic and disappears with Morgana.
The episode ends with Merlin keeping his promise to the dragon, and freeing him with one of the swords of the Knights of Medhir. I’m sure nothing bad will happen because of this.
Media Centre Description: Fantasy drama. When the Fires of Idirsholas burn for the first time in three hundred years, Gaius fears a sorcerer has revived the deadly Knights of Medhir. And he’s right; Morgause has returned, hell-bent on ending Uther’s reign. Arthur and Merlin face the Knights, and barely escape with their lives. Upon returning home, they find everyone in a deep, unnatural sleep – all except for Morgana. Could she be behind the sleeping spell affecting the kingdom?
Recorded from BBC ONE on Saturday 12th December 2009 17:58
After this there’s a rather brilliant trail for Christmas films, with a version of a pop song with the lyrics altered to perfectly describe what’s happening in each of the clips.
Plus a trail with Scott Mills and the National Lottery Draw. Has the curse of the Blog struck him?
Then the recording ends with the merest glimpse of the new Christmas idents starring David Tennant as the Doctor.
The final recording today is the last episode of series 3 of The Thick of It.
After his shock ‘resignation’ last week, Malcolm is doorstepped by the press outside his house.
The opposition are delighting, including Peter Mannion (Roger Allam) and Phil Smith (Will Smith, who’s also a writer on the show). “The balrog’s dead!”
Steve Fleming gives a pep talk to the department which almost certainly makes things worse. It rather worries me how good David Haig is at playing this kind of character. I hope he’s lovely in real life.
Malcolm is considering his options for the future. “Do you want to swim the Channel for Scope?” “No!” “Do you want to do Dragons’ Den for Children In Need?” “I’d rather fuck a real dragon.” “Would you consider promoting a politically-themed restaurant?” “How does that… How does that even work? Fuck, no, I don’t care.” “Would you like to write a children’s book called The Angry Spider?”
Steve Fleming wants to talk to Nicola. He’s worried about Dan Miller, who is persuading people to resign from the cabinet so that a leadership crisis might help he become leader, and she has to reassure him that she’s not going to resign.
Malcolm talks to the BBC about a potential programme idea. “So, this pitch. It’s for the sort of person who tried coke once but didn’t like it – it’s a BBC Three show. It’s a bullshit description but, you know, it paints a picture.” Malcolm asks “Who didn’t like coke?” He excuses himself to take a phone call and quickly exits before they’re a minute into their pitch.
Glenn and Olly learn that Nicola has been offered a job at the think tank attached to Yale university. And they tell Terri that the opposition are bringing in someone called The Fucker.
Malcolm is visited by Julius Nicholson. “The thing is, Malcolm, your departure has basically precipitated a call to arms, in effect. We have it on reasonably good authority that there are between three to four cabinet ministers who are disgruntled, and are planning a mass resignation. That means, very simply, a Dan Miller coronation.” He asks Malcolm to come back to nip this rebellion in the bud. Malcolm wants to know if he comes out badly in the report about the crime stats. Nicholson assures him he does, but that Steve Fleming also comes out clean.
So Malcolm’s back at DoSAC. Olly drops the news that Nicola s resigning to join a think tank, and Malcolm talks about Steve Fleming “I fucking despise the guy. I despise him as much as fucking James May presumably despises himself. I’m glad he’s getting a fucking death sentence in Nicholas’ report.” “Ah, death sentence for Fleming?” “Yeah, that’s…not something that should be out there.”
Fleming meets Nicholson. He’s heard rumours that the report will fuck him up and wants to know if that’s true. Nicholson won’t tell him.
But the meeting was caught by a news photographer, and now it looks like Fleming was leaning on Nicholson to change the report.
Nicholson is not happy about how this looks. “You made it look as if Steve leant on me so I’d wrongly exonerate him. As a result, I had to come down upon him like a ton of bricks, totally unfairly, just to protect my unimpeachable reputation for fairness.”
Fleming is predictably angry. “We were on the same side, Malcolm, and you fucked me over!” “Not me, Stevo, not me. The independent report. So I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to go.” “Oh, I agree with you. I’m going. I’m going to resign from the Cabinet. And then I’m going to go and join Dan Miller’s team. I think we need a new leader.”
News hits DoSAC. “That was Gavin at Number Ten. He reckons that Steve Fleming has just joined the cabal.” Terri’s unhappy. “A complete disaster. There’ll be nothing else on television for weeks.”
Nicola goes to meet Malcolm, who tells her that the Prime Minister is just about to announce a General Election. He then persuades Nicola not to take the job at Yale, and stay for the election which she does.
The Opposition is also springing into action. “You’ll find a file marked “Snap Election Drill” on the J drive. If you don’t know how to access the J drive, hand your pass in at reception, go and buy some silver body paint and pretend to be a robot on the South Bank.”
Unexpectedly, The Fucker arrives in the form of Cal Richards (played by Tom Hollander). His first job is to fire Stewart (Vincent Franklin) and to tell Phil Smith “Could you find a hostel, go there and take a fucking overdose of barbiturates?” But he’s only joking. Possibly.
Then we come to my favourite bit in the whole programme. Terri is on the phone. “I think we’re just playing it in the wrong key. It’s when we go, ‘Red and yellow and blue…'” Nicola asks “What’s she talking about? “She’s putting on her annual production of Joseph in Hemel Hempstead.” I’m always delighted for a reference to my home town.
Malcolm is giving his own pep talk to the troops. “I know what people say to you, right? They say, “We hate you.” I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. Everybody hates you. So fucking what? Some people, they just fucking love to hate. These are the kind of fucks who watched Mandela, fucking Nelson Mandela… ..walk to freedom, and said, “Is Diagnosis Murder not on the other side?” So we fucking forget about them.”
Media Centre Description: Award-winning political comedy starring Peter Capaldi with Rebecca Front, Roger Allam, Chris Addison, Joanna Scanlan and James Smith. As the election looms and the Opposition eye the prize, the word around the Westminster Village is that Malcolm Tucker is running out of both options and friends. He may have bitten off more than he can chew with Steve Fleming, but when an offer of help appears from an unlikely direction, Malcolm starts to set his finest trap yet.
Recorded from BBC TWO on Saturday 12th December 2009 22:11
After this there’s the BBC One Christmas Drama trail, and a trail for Never Mind the Buzzcocks featuring David Tennant, Catherine Tate and Bernard Cribbins.
Then the recording ends with the start of Pulling.
The first recording today starts with the end of UFO. Then it’s a repeat of Space 1999 – The Taybor. Media Centre Description: The Taybor: Sci-fi drama series featuring the intergalactic adventures of the Moonbase Alpha team. A flamboyant trader from hyperspace appears on the Moonbase with a startling proposition. Recorded from ITV4 on Friday 11th December […]
Show full content
The first recording today starts with the end of UFO.
Media Centre Description: The Taybor: Sci-fi drama series featuring the intergalactic adventures of the Moonbase Alpha team. A flamboyant trader from hyperspace appears on the Moonbase with a startling proposition.
Recorded from ITV4 on Friday 11th December 2009 10:18
The recording ends with the start of The Champions.
The next recording is a different showing of the previous programme, Space 1999 – The Taybor.
Media Centre Description: The Taybor: Sci-fi drama series featuring the intergalactic adventures of the Moonbase Alpha team. A flamboyant trader from hyperspace appears on the Moonbase with a startling proposition.
Recorded from ITV4 on Friday 11th December 2009 14:53
The recording ends with the start of The Saint.
The last recording today starts with the end of, I’m going to guess, American Hot Rod.
Then, not a repeat, or a repeat of a repeat, it’s something new, and the first appearance on the blog for Mythbusters – Son of a Gun.
The first myth is whether you should stay off the phone during a thunderstorm. They test this by constructing a whole house, complete with electrical wiring and phone line, then taking it to a lightning strike test chamber belonging to a local utility company. It can general 700,000 volts at half a million watts. It’s a small fraction of the 100 million volts that real lightning generates, but it’s good enough for testing purposes.
They set up their stand-in for a human – this is Chip, made from Ballistic gel, and he’s on the telephone.
The lightning arc looks cool close up.
This test has no effect on Chip or the other household appliances, as all the electricity leaves the house through the ground wire. So Adam makes modifications, cutting some of the grounds so more of the electricity goes directly to Chip. This time there’s enough charge to set off the small gunpowder charge that Jamie put on the phone mouthpiece. After all, it wouldn’t be Mythbusters without something exploding.
The next part of the test is whether having a shower in a thunderstorm is dangerous.
Given that they manage to start a fire in the shower stall, I’d say it definitely is dangerous.
There’s another small myth involving a small motorboat going in to the water with its trailer still attached.
And the eponymous Son of a Gun looks at a myth from the US Civil War, which gives the team a chance to dress up.
This is a strange one. It’s claimed that a man on the battlefield was shot in the leg, the bullet travelled through his testicles, came out the other side, travelled another 150 yards where it pierces the womb of a woman watching the battle from her porch. The bullet carried sperm from the man’s testicles and the woman’s egg was fertilised. Rather far fetched, obviously. They have to make a custom leg for Buster the crash test dummy that has real bones surrounded by ballistics gel so they can see of a bullet could ricochet through in that way.
But even when the bullet goes through Buster, through a pouch of semen, and ends shooting through layers of material into more ballistics gel, even under the microscope there’s no sign of anything that could be genetic material, so this myth is a bust.
Media Centre Description: Special effects experts test the bizarre claims of urban legends. The Mythbusters examine whether a bullet that passed through a soldier’s nether regions could make a nearby woman pregnant.
Recorded from Quest on Friday 11th December 2009 19:58
After this the recording ends with the start of Moments of Impact.
Here’s the first Space 1999 ad breaks.
Here’s the second Space 1999 ad breaks.
Here’s the Mythbusters ad breaks. First time we’ve seen anything from the channel Quest.
Today’s recording starts with a trail for Games Britannia, part of the Game On strand. There’s a trail for For Art’s Sake: The Story of Ballets Russes and a BBC News promo. Then it’s a repeat of The Thick of It. Media Centre Description: Satirical political sitcom. Nicola Murray and her team are desperate to find a major sports personality […]
Show full content
Today’s recording starts with a trail for Games Britannia, part of the Game On strand. There’s a trail for For Art’s Sake: The Story of Ballets Russes and a BBC News promo.
Media Centre Description: Satirical political sitcom. Nicola Murray and her team are desperate to find a major sports personality to be the face of DoSAC’s new Healthy Choices campaign. Malcolm’s away on holiday and doesn’t want to be disturbed, so they take advice from Steve Fleming, who’s back on the scene as the PM’s new fixer. Is Steve really as nice as he seems? Everyone knows Malcolm never takes holidays, so what’s he up to now?
Recorded from BBC FOUR on Thursday 10th December 2009 23:33
Today’s recording starts with the end of CCTV Really Caught in the Act. Then it’s a repeat of Space 1999 – The Rules of Luton. I’m amused by the fact that this episode is called that because producer Fred Freiberger was driving to the studio one day when he spotted a roadsign pointing to Luton and thought […]
Show full content
Today’s recording starts with the end of CCTV Really Caught in the Act.
Then it’s a repeat of Space 1999 – The Rules of Luton. I’m amused by the fact that this episode is called that because producer Fred Freiberger was driving to the studio one day when he spotted a roadsign pointing to Luton and thought it sounded like an exotic Sci-Fi name.
Media Centre Description: The Rules of Luton: Science fiction drama series. A grim fight for survival takes place on a planet of bizarre intelligent plants.
Recorded from ITV4 on Tuesday 8th December 2009 13:53
The first recording today is an episode of Art Attack. Neil makes a crab-shaped holder for receipts and tickets and other knick-knacks. The Big Art Attack is made entirely of salt, and it’s Ballet dancers. He shows a simple tool that can be used to help get perspective lines correct. He shows how to make some […]
Show full content
The first recording today is an episode of Art Attack.
Neil makes a crab-shaped holder for receipts and tickets and other knick-knacks.
The Big Art Attack is made entirely of salt, and it’s Ballet dancers.
He shows a simple tool that can be used to help get perspective lines correct.
He shows how to make some insect bookmarks.
Media Centre Description: Neil Buchanan returns with another amazing Art Attack to give your eyeballs a shock! He gets creative on a grand scale with a Big Art Attack made only with salt and demonstrates an ingenious way of getting the right perspective in your pictures. Plus he creates a Crab that will grab all your stuff and a bookmark with a difference!
Recorded from CITV on Sunday 6th December 2009 11:58
After this, there’s a short episode of Tricky TV. Then the recording ends.
The next recording is another episode of Art Attack which follows immediately after the previous one.
Neil makes some eyeballs, which are also useful for spying on your doors and drawers, in a weird mishmash of John le Carre and George Romero.
The Big Art Attack has dolphins.
He makes a painting with lolly sticks instead of brushes.
He makes some 3D houses out of cardboard.
Media Centre Description: Neil Buchanan presents some more fantastic Art Attack ideas for you to try yourself. How about making a gruesome beady eye to watch over your secret things? Or building your own house, street, or town from a cardboard box? Plus, fab drawing techniques using a lolly stick.
Recorded from CITV on Sunday 6th December 2009 12:28
After this, the recording ends with the start of Fongertips.
The last recording starts with the end of A History of Christianity.
There’s a trail for a Radi0 4 adaptation of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy.
Plus a trail for For Art’s Sake: The Story of Ballets Russes.
then we have a documentary. The Man Behind the Masquerade looks at artist Kit Williams, who created the best-selling children’s book Masquerade, and then got so sick of the ensuing publicity that he basically stopped publicly showing his paintings, and basically just selling them to people who live near him. I get the feeling this might also have been a reaction to art critics, although the programme doesn’t really address that.
This is quite a weird documentary. I had hoped it would concentrate on Masquerade, as I’ve been fascinated with that since it came out. Williams himself tells us why he’s doing this particular documentary. “It has been 30 years since Masquerade was published and a lot of television companies and radio and so on have picked this up because they pick up anniversaries and have come and said, ‘we would like to do another Masquerade, we’d like to do something with Masquerade’ and I’ve said, no, no, no, no, no. And you said to me, ‘I want to know what you’ve done since’ and that’s what interests me, what I’ve done since and what I’m going to do tomorrow and what I did yesterday, that’s what interests me.”
What actually interests him quite a lot is painting pictures of naked young women. I know this is a thing with artists in general – I’ve been to the National Gallery – but Williams also tells a story from his childhood. His father told him they were going to make a boat, so they went to a woodyard, which was next to an undertakers. He remembers walking into a room where the wood shavings came up to his knees, there was a real coffin in the centre of the room, and “I was only seven, mind you, the walls were covered in naked ladies from magazines and I thought I’d gone to heaven.” He used to use reference photos from Health & Efficiency for his nudes, but these days he takes his own reference photos, recruiting young women from his local area to model for him. It’s all a bit weird.
The programme does go into Masquerade a little, talking to Tom Maschler, who originally suggested to Kit that he might try creating a children’s book. It was when, after they had lunch, and Kit had not liked the idea at all as it would constrain his artistic freedom, Maschler says “you know, it’s a pity that you’re not interested in doing a children’s book, because you could do something that would really shake the world.” And that clearly tickled Kit’s ego enough to get him thinking about it.
They also talk to Bamber Gascoigne, who was contacted and asked to accompany Kit when he went to bury the golden hare, the prize for solving the puzzle in the book. They realised that they needed someone who could witness the burial, but who wasn’t connected with the publishers, so they couldn’t be accused of faking it or something, and Gascoigne was clearly deemed to be the kind of upright person who could be trusted as a witness. I must recommend Gascoigne’s book Quest for the Golden Hare which he wrote about the book and the ensuing mass of treasure seekers it inspired. He spoke to a few of the more prominent seekers, who had written to Kit or the publishers, about their attempts to crack the secret. It’s quite fascinating.
The programme also talks to John Rousseau, who, along with his friend Mike Barker, were the first (and possibly only) people to fully crack the puzzle in the book and unearth the hidden message inside it.
But they didn’t find the hare because, at almost exactly the same time as they had made their discovery, but before they had a chance to go to its burial spot and dig it up, it was dug up by a far more mysterious figure, a man called Dougal Thompson, who insisted on anonymity, sent Kit a letter with only a very vague guess at where the hare was buried. Kit phoned him up to confirm that he was right, but as they talked he realised that he hadn’t understood the book’s puzzle, just used a few of the confirming clues. And much later it would be suggested that he got the information from a former girlfriend of Kit’s, who was present when Kit first buried a small magnet at the intended burial spot, but who didn’t know what he was doing. “but she must have guessed” and told others, including Thompson. I don’t know how much of this is just Kit’s speculation, but it’s a strange story.
There’s a small amount of closure, though. At the end of this programme, Kit Williams gives his first exhibition in something like 25 years. He exhibits some of his favourite paintings, but there’s a surprise as well. The golden hare had long since been sold several times, and was in a private collector’s hands by now, apparently in the far east, but for this exhibition, which was also the 30th anniversary of Masquerade, the owner sent to to Kit, along with a security guard, so it could be shown at the exhibition.
John Rousseau is there to see it, and gets a little emotional.
Here’s the whole documentary, which someone else uploaded.
Media Centre Description: In 1979, artist Kit Williams turned Britain into a giant treasure map, promising a golden hare, buried in the earth, to the first person who solved the riddle of his book Masquerade. The hysteria that followed the hunt drove Williams underground, where he has continued to create complex and beautiful art, which he refuses to publicly exhibit. In his first interview in two decades, Kit lifts the lid on life before and after Masquerade. Did the hare deprive us of one of our most gifted painters?
Recorded from BBC FOUR on Sunday 6th December 2009 19:58
The first recording today starts with the end of TMI. There’s a trail for Blue Peter. There’s also a trail for Jinx. Then, here’s something a bit unexpected. It’s Doctor Who: Dreamland. This was, if I remember correctly, originally a set of web exclusive episodes, which have been made into a single episode for this BBC Two showing. The […]
Show full content
The first recording today starts with the end of TMI.
There’s a trail for Blue Peter.
There’s also a trail for Jinx.
Then, here’s something a bit unexpected. It’s Doctor Who: Dreamland. This was, if I remember correctly, originally a set of web exclusive episodes, which have been made into a single episode for this BBC Two showing.
The co-star in this episode is a familiar name – Georgia Moffett, who gets her name in the titles, which is always exciting. We last saw her a week ago (in 2009 terms) in Merlin but she was more famous at the time for being the guest star in The Doctor’s Daughter which was such nerdy casting, because she is, in real life, the Doctor’s daughter, her father being Peter Davison.
The Tardis lands in Nevada 11 years after the Roswell ‘crash’ which is most definitely a UFO crashing in this story. He drops in on a diner. “I was passing and I got the fancies, a bowl of chili. The sort you only ever got in an American diner before 1962.” He’s greeted by Cassie, the waitress (Moffett) and the only customer, Jimmy Stalkingwolf (Tim Howar).
He’s immediately taken by the “Genuine Alien Artifact” which came from a supposed flying saucer crash five years ago. The Doctor scans it and it lights up, and the lights in the diner pop, so it’s definitely real and alien, and not the piece of junk Cassie has always thought it is.
It must be alien because almost immediately a very skinny Man in Black appears asking for it. What am I saying? Everyone in this is skinny because of the character design. I’m not a huge fan of this style, not helped by the animation being fairly rudimentary. But the voice acting is excellent, which helps a lot.
The three of them get away from this obvious bad guy, and drive to where Jimmy said something was eating their cattle. And we don’t have to wait long for the reveal of a Viperox Battle Drone.
They are saved from being blasted by the appearance of the US Army who blow it up then take the three of them to Area 51 and to Colonel Stark, who’s in charge there. He’s voiced by Stuart Milligan, Adam Klaus off of Jonathan Creek, and who will make an appearance in live-action Doctor Who in the future.
He puts the three of them in a chamber where they’re going to flood the room with a memory wiping gas. But the Doctor learned some tricks from Houdini and gets out of the restraints to turn off the gas, and they’re soon climbing through a ventilation shaft. “I love 1958. No one’s seen Die Hard or Alien. Or Die Hard 2 or Aliens.” This will turn out to be a little bit of lampshading.
They find another room, and in this one they discover that the army are keeping an actual alien there, but they don’t have much time to investigate because soldiers arrive. At which point the Doctor distracts them with the sonic screwdriver, and they got out on a big lift, but at the top they’re captured again.
Oh dear, Colonel Stark is working with the other aliens. The chief alien, Lord Azlock, is played by the great David Warner.
The Doctor and friends were captured in a hangar which also houses a genuine UFO.
Once again, they manage to run away from soldiers with guns, this time onto the ship, which the Doctor opens with the sonic, and they fly off. Pretty soon they’re being pursued by jets.
They get shot at, and the UFO ditches in the desert, near a deserted town called Solitude. They look around to see if they can find anyone. Jimmy finds a hole in the ground inside a building, and is grabbed by another alien.
He’s taken underground, and comes face to face with Lord Azlock.
Cassie and the Doctor help him escape, but while escaping they come across an even bigger alien, the Queen, who’s laying lots of eggs that will hatch into an army. See what I meant about lampshading earlier – now they’re riffing on Aliens.
Now they’re escaping in a mine cart. Temple of Doom anyone?
Out of the mine, there’s no respite, as the creepy Men in Black are back.
Who, it turns out, are robots.
But before they can do anything nefarious, all the robots are shot. With arrows.
It’s Jimmy’s grandfather, Night Eagle, voiced by Clarke Peters.
Then, Night Eagle takes them to see someone. He’s been protecting another alien since the saucer crashed. The Doctor tells the Alien “I could help you.” “I want to go home.” “I can take you home.” “Not without Saruba Velak.” The other alien, held by the army, is this alien’s partner. He introduces himself as Rivesh Mantilax, and he’s voiced by Nicholas Rowe, most famous for playing Young Sherlock Holmes.
They can’t be guarding this cave very well, because next thing we know, Colonel Stark arrives with his soldiers. “On behalf of the United States government, thank you for leading us to this alien. You just helped me save the world.”
Stark and Azlock explain why they’re working together. “Rivesh Mantilax had developed a weapon genetically targeted at the Viperox to wipe us from the universe.” Colonel Stark says “The weapon can be modified to destroy our enemies instead.” “You mean Russia?” “The Reds are sitting on a thousand nukes. And every one of them has Uncle Sam’s name on it.”
Mister Dread returns and he’s got the Ionic Fusion Bar from the diner, but it’s actually a weapon, one that could kill billions throughout the universe.
Somehow, the Doctor manages to grab the device and run out of the room – again, men with guns are there and nobody takes a shot.
He only gets as far as the roof. Stark catches up with him, and the Doctor tells him that Azlock will destroy all humanity. “Who are you going to be, colonel? The man that saves the world? Or the one who destroys it?”
Rivesh Mantilax is injured by Lord Azlock when he leaves to start his war, so the Doctor and Saruba have to find the remains of her ship so she can heal him. Now they’re doing a Raiders of the Lost Ark homage.
Elsewhere the Viperox are rising up out of the earth and attacking.
The Doctor and Saruba are menaced by Scorpius flies.
They find what they were looking for, and get out of the base. Meanwhile, Cassie and Jimmy have collected the Tardis from where it landed and met up with the Doctor, so they get to see what’s inside.
They travel to the base, and she heals Rivesh Mantilax.
The Doctor won’t let Rivesh activate the weapon, because that would destroy every Viperox in the universe. “No one has the right to destroy an entire species.”
It’s reprogrammed, and when Lord Azlock arrives to take it, the Doctor activates the new weapon which outputs a sound loud enough to drive all the Viperox away. “Go back to Viperon. And don’t even think about coming back.”
The Viperox leave the Earth.
He gives the weapon to Colonel Stark, just in case the Viperox decide to come back in the future.
Rivesh Mantilax and Saruba Velak also get to go home.
And it looks like Cassie and Jimmy are a couple, although I assumed they were right from the start.
Media Centre Description: Animated adventure. America, 1958. The Doctor makes a new friend, Cassie, who reveals that anyone approaching the top secret Dreamland army base goes missing. The Doctor discovers an alien army hatching beneath the New Mexico desert, while inside Dreamland, survivors of an extraterrestrial war possess a weapon powerful enough to destroy Earth.
Recorded from BBC TWO on Saturday 5th December 2009 09:58
After this there’s a trail for Bear Behaving Badly.
Then the recording ends with the start of Chucklevision.
The next recording is an episode of Art Attack.
First, Neil shows us how to make a… whatever this is.
The big art is a magnificent Moon Landing piece.
He shows how to draw straight lines without a ruler.
He draws some Mad Mouths.
Media Centre Description: Neil Buchanan presents more simple yet stunning arty ideas. Today, he shows how to make a mystery creature from the contents of a cupboard, provides tips on how to draw straight lines without a ruler, takes a giant leap for mankind in the Big Art Attack, and demonstrates how to make fun ‘mad mouths’.
Recorded from ITV1 on Saturday 5th December 2009 10:23
After this there’s a short Tricky TV episode then the recording ends with the start of a news bulletin.
The next recording starts with the end of Tricky TV.
Then it’s another Art Attack in which Neil makes a glasses holder in the shape of a mole.
The Big Art is made in a cinema foyer, partly out of pic’n’mix (such a waste) and is apparently of Neil’s favourite film, King Kong.
He sketches a flower.
Artist Keith Newstead makes wooden figures that dance.
Neil draws a picture that’s almost literally a thousand words.
Media Centre Description: What do loo rolls, cereal boxes and newspapers all have in common? They all make for fantastic art attacks! Neil shows how to turn the stuff you usually throw away into brilliant works of art.
Recorded from CITV on Saturday 5th December 2009 12:28
The recording ends with the start of Fingertips.
The next recording starts with the end of Hole in the Wall.
There’s a trail for Big Top.
There’s our first proper Christmas trail for some comedy programmes.
There’s also a trail for BBC Sports Personality of the Year.
Then it’s a new episode of Merlin – The Witch’s Quickening.
Joseph Mawle (Benjen Stark off of Game of Thrones) guest starts as Alvarr, who leads a group of bandits, and who attack a group of knights heading for Camelot.
With them is young Mordred, the boy who is prophesied to cause the death of Arthur, played by Asa Butterfield.
They take the knights’ clothes and travel to Camelot, where they are after something. Mordred communicates with them telepathically – which Merlin can hear when it wakes him up – and Alvarr stops some guards with magic.
They’re there to see Morgana, who’s pleased to see Mordred, after they had to put him in the care of the druids. Alvarr tells her he found Mordred in the woods, pursued by Uther’s men, and that “Magic is not a crime. It’s a gift.” They appeal to her for help. They want a magic crystal that’s held in the castle vaults, and they ask Morgana if she will retrieve it for them.
Merlin tells Arthur that he’s heard people in Morgana’s room so they burst in to investigate, but Morgana is there alone and very cross that they’ve invaded her chambers.
Next day, Morgana goes to the vaults and pilfers the crystal.
Uther is angry the crystal has gone, Arthur is angry with Merlin that he didn’t keep his quarters secure so that somebody could steal his keys, so Merlin talks to Gaius. “The sorcerers of the past believed it held the secret of time.” “What did they mean by that?” “I’m not sure. The crystal is an artefact of the Old Religion. There is only one that could tell you more.”
So Merlin asks the Dragon. “What is the Crystal of Neahtid?” “To those who know how to use it, the crystal holds great knowledge.” “What kind of knowledge? The knowledge of what is, what has been and what is yet to come.” “Do you mean it can show you the future?” “Amongst other things, yes.” He also tells him “The ancient prophecies speak of an alliance – of Mordred and Morgana united in evil. But this union must be stopped… whatever the cost.”
Morgana takes the crystal to Alvarr and Mordred. Merlin follows her and watches. Alvarr says “Mordred will master the crystal. And when he does, we will strike Uther down – Uther and all who serve him.” “ALL who serve him?” “If we are to win this war, there can be no half measures.”
Merlin tells Gauis what he saw, and Gaius tells Uther, pretending that he got the information from one of his patients, and omitting Morgana’s involvement. Uther sends Arthur out to find the renegades. Morgana tries to get him not to go. “But you’re chasing nothing but a rumour.” “True. But for now it’s the only lead we have to go on.” “You’ll be wasting your time, I assure you.”
Merlin accompanies Arthur and his knights on the search for the renegades’ camp. It appears deserted when they find it, but suddenly they’re attacked and there’s a big fight. We see Morgana riding off.
Mordred runs away but merlin uses magic to trip him up. Two knights approach him and he kills them with a couple of handy metal poles which he levitates and hurls at them. Mordred looks at Merlin and says (telepathically) “I shall never forgive this, Emrys, and I shall never forget.”
Arthur’s men win the day. He retrieves the crystal from Alvarr. “You are a fool! How many lives have been lost this day… for what? You cannot wield the crystal. You do not have the power. None of you do!”
He gives the crystal to Merlin to guard while he sleeps. Merlin seems to be being affected by the crystal. Later in the night, he takes the crystal out of its bag and he sees visions in it, visions of the dragon flying about, shooting flames, Camelot on fire, and himself looking very sad.
Alvarr is brought before Uther, who asks him if he acted alone, or had help from someone in Camelot. He says he acted alone. Uther sentences him to death.
Morgana confronts Uther after this. “From this day forward, I do not know you. From this day forward, I disown you.” “You will go to your chambers!” “And you, Uther… You will go to hell.”
Later she goes to see Alvarr in his cell. She tells him “I have done what I can to ease your passage.” “I could not ask for more.” When she leaves, he uses his magic power to unlock the cell door, and when he leaves it he finds all his guards asleep – Morgana gave them a jug of wine laced with a sleeping draft before she went in. When Uther finds out he declares “If I ever discover who it was, they will rue the day they were born.” But it’s fairly clear he strongly suspects Morgana.
Then we see the Dragon in his cave. “Merlin? I’m waiting, Merlin! You gave your word! Now set me free!”
Media Centre Description: Fantasy drama. Uther has a precious magical relic of the Old Religion locked up tight in the Camelot vaults. Many have lost their lives trying to reclaim the Crystal of Neahtid, but the ruthless warlock Alvarr could succeed where they failed. For Alvarr has a secret weapon – Mordred. Morgana has always shared a powerful bond with the druid boy, but will she go as far as turning thief and traitor for him? Merlin is shocked by her choice, and by the true purpose of the mysterious crystal.
Recorded from BBC ONE on Saturday 5th December 2009 17:53
After this, there’s a trail for Christmas drama programmes, including Doctor Who.
There’s also a trail for the National Lottery Draws. Then the recording ends just before Strictly Come Dancing starts.
The final recording today starts with the end of Being Alan Bennett.
There’s a trail for Victorian Farm Christmas and another trail for Paradox.
Then it’s a new episode of The Thick of It.
DoSAC are launching a Healthy Choices campaign. Olly announces that he’s managed to get Andy Murray to be the public face of the launch. Glenn wonders “Doesn’t it sound like nepotism? Like, in the way that people think Russ and Diane Abbott are related?”
Malcolm Tucker is supposedly on holiday. He’s entertaining some journalists, cooking them curry.
DoSAC have a visitor. It’s Steve Fleming, the Prime Minister’s new closest advisor, played to unctuous perfection by David Haig. He tells them that he wants the department to release all the crime statistics from 2004 up to the current quarter, for another government initiative. When Nicola says they’ll do it after their Healthy Choices launch, his permanent grin becomes a snarl as he insists they do it all immediately.
Back at his dinner party, the assembled journos ask him about Steve Fleming, and whether his new position means that Malcolm is out. “While Steve is a useful tool, and I do emphasise the word useful here, I’m still running the show, right?” “If you’re still running the show, why do you need to tell us?” “Geoffrey, all I’m saying is this, it would be very much fucking appreciated if you could emphasise the fact that I’m at the heart of government because it’s fucking true. I AM the heart. I am the ventricles and the fucking aorta.” But they’re not convinced. “No, you’re still the star of the show, until they start wheeling out the celebrities. What’s next, Malcolm, Ant and Dec as the new fucking litter tsars.”
As a result of this conversation, Tucker calls DoSAC and tells them to drop Andy Murray, which is a problem because Nicola has only just spoken to him and he’s very keen to be a part of it.
Malcolm returns to his office, only to be told that Andy Murray has announced his participation in the Healthy Choices initiative on his website. So he immediately heads over to DoSAC.
Nicola Murray also gets bad news from Olly – some of the crime figures they released were “unverified and not ready for being in the public domain.”
Steve Fleming catches Malcolm on his way out, and the conversation doesn’t go well. Malcolm tells him “I’ll tell you exactly what people say about you. […] Fuck all. People have no fucking opinion about you. You’re like fucking Special K or fucking the Moody Blues. That’s you, white noise in the background.”
The crime stats cock-up is bad enough to get Malcolm to now tell Nicola she should get Andy Murray back on board for the Healthy Choices initiative, just for some good publicity.
Back at Malcolm’s office, Fleming is still there, asking if he needs any help sorting out the problems. Then Lord Nicholson arrives (played by Alex Macqueen) and starts talking about an inquiry into the crime stats cock-up.
Nicola turns up to talk to Malcolm, and he asks her to deny that they called him about the crime stats. “You want me to cover your back?” “I want you to get the old inquiry screen out and slap it on factor 50, why not?”
But things quickly move on, and Fleming is talking to Tucker in his office, and basically telling him he needs to resign.
This difficult moment isn’t helped when first Nicholson, and then Murray arrive while the sacking is happening. Nicola’s quite excited. “Shit. Now? Literally, I mean… I’m actually in the sacking.”
“YOU WILL SEE ME AGAIN!”
Media Centre Description: Satirical political sitcom. Nicola Murray and her team are desperate to find a major sports personality to be the face of DoSAC’s new Healthy Choices campaign. Malcolm’s away on holiday and doesn’t want to be disturbed, so they take advice from Steve Fleming, who’s back on the scene as the PM’s new fixer. Is Steve really as nice as he seems? Everyone knows Malcolm never takes holidays, so what’s he up to now?
Recorded from BBC TWO on Saturday 5th December 2009 22:28
The first recording today is a repeat of Space 1999 – New Adam, New Eve. Media Centre Description: New Adam, New Eve: Intergalactic adventures of the space-travelling Moonbase Alpha team. An alien claiming to be the ‘creator’ offers the Alphans a present they cannot refuse. Recorded from ITV4 on Thursday 3rd December 2009 13:58 After this […]
Media Centre Description: New Adam, New Eve: Intergalactic adventures of the space-travelling Moonbase Alpha team. An alien claiming to be the ‘creator’ offers the Alphans a present they cannot refuse.
Recorded from ITV4 on Thursday 3rd December 2009 13:58
After this the recording ends with the start of The Champions.
The next recording starts with a trail for Move like Michael Jackson.
After this there’s trails for Move Like Michael Jackson and Alesha Dixon: Who’s Your Daddy? then the recording ends with the start of Dizzee Rascal at 1Xtra Live.
The next recording starts with the end of Margot.
There’s a trail for A Child’s Christmases in Wales.
Media Centre Description: Satirical political sitcom. With the Prime Minister away at a summit in Spain, Malcolm Tucker is left at home to mind the shop. Just as Nicola Murray is about to launch her Fourth Sector Initiative to the media, the media decide that what they really want is someone to launch another leadership contest. Does Nicola have what it takes and, if she does, can Malcolm take it away from her before she does any damage?
Recorded from BBC FOUR on Thursday 3rd December 2009 23:23
Media Centre Description: Sketch show starring Alexander Armstrong and Ben Miller features Flanders and Swann-alikes Brabbins and Fyffe, and a nightmarish experience for one man in a bank.
Recorded from BBC FOUR on Thursday 3rd December 2009 23:55
Media Centre Description: The nature documentary explores mammals’ ability to learn new survival tricks. In a TV first, a killer whale is shown sneaking into a pool where elephant seal pups learn to swim, saving itself the trouble of hunting in the open sea. Slow-motion cameras reveal how the star-nosed mole can smell prey underwater; young ibex run up an almost vertical cliff face to escape a fox; and young stoats fight mock battles, learning the skills that make them one of the world’s most efficient predators.
Recorded from BBC ONE on Friday 4th December 2009 00:58
The first recording today is a repeat of Space 1999 – Brian The Brain. Media Centre Description: Brian the Brain: Sci-fi drama series. The castaways in space are hijacked by a robot – a living machine with a brain, a human voice and a terrifying secret. Recorded from ITV4 on Wednesday 2nd December 2009 15:58 After […]
Media Centre Description: Brian the Brain: Sci-fi drama series. The castaways in space are hijacked by a robot – a living machine with a brain, a human voice and a terrifying secret.
Recorded from ITV4 on Wednesday 2nd December 2009 15:58
After this, the recording ends with the start of Police Patrol.
The other recording today starts with a trail for Move Like Michael Jackson and 60 Seconds of News.
The first recording today starts with end end of some kind of CCTV programme, Really Caught in the Act. Then it’s a repeat of Space 1999 – One Moment of Humanity. Media Centre Description: One Moment of Humanity: Intergalactic adventures of the space-travelling Moonbase Alpha team. The Alphans make contact with a planet of robot humans. […]
Show full content
The first recording today starts with end end of some kind of CCTV programme, Really Caught in the Act.
Media Centre Description: One Moment of Humanity: Intergalactic adventures of the space-travelling Moonbase Alpha team. The Alphans make contact with a planet of robot humans.
Recorded from ITV4 on Tuesday 1st December 2009 13:53
The recording ends with the start of an episode of UFO.
The other recording today starts with a trail for Moves Like Michael Jackson.
Today’s first recording starts with a trail for Young Hairdresser of the Year and 60 Seconds of News. One of the stories is about a “big expansion of Iran’s nuclear programme”. Sigh. Then it’s a repeat of Doctor Who – Partners in Crime. Media Centre Description: Donna is determined to find the Doctor again – even if […]
Show full content
Today’s first recording starts with a trail for Young Hairdresser of the Year and 60 Seconds of News. One of the stories is about a “big expansion of Iran’s nuclear programme”. Sigh.
Media Centre Description: Donna is determined to find the Doctor again – even if it means braving the villainous Miss Foster and her hordes of sinister Adipose.
Recorded from BBC THREE on Monday 30th November 2009 18:58
After this there’s a trail for Mad About the House.
The recording ends with the start of JLS at 1Extra Live.
The next recording is another episode of Life – Creatures of the Deep.
A Humboldt Squid has a reputation as a maneater. They only come out at night, a lean and hungry type.
Life flourishes in the sea under the Antarctic ice.
The dead body of a seal pup is a rare feast.
A swarm of Aurelia jellyfish.
The Fried Egg jellyfish is a killer.
Spider Crabs swarm once a year to shed their shells.
The unprotected crab can make a meal for a stingray.
Cuttlefish fight while protecting their eggs.
A Pacific Giant Octopus is looking for somewhere to look after her eggs.
The baby octopus hatches.
The giant sunstar is one of the largest and most aggressive starfish in the ocean.
The sunstar is attacked by a giant king crab, who rips one of its arms off. But the sunstar can grow its limbs back.
Corals grow over sunken ships, a complex living structure.
Christmas tree worms bore into the coral’s skeleton for protection, swirling out and grabbing food particles with their feathery gills.
An orangutan crab.
A sea cucumber uses its tentacles to grab food from the sediment.
A shrimp helps other much larger creatures by removing parasites from them.
Media Centre Description: The nature documentary series takes a look at marine invertebrates, some of the most bizarre and beautiful animals on the planet. Divers swim into a shoal of predatory Humboldt squid as the creatures emerge from the depths to hunt in packs. Time-lapse photography reveals thousands of starfish gathering under the Arctic ice to devour a seal carcass. And a giant octopus commits suicide for her young: a camera follows her into a cave which she walls up, then she protects her eggs until she starves.
Recorded from BBC ONE on Monday 30th November 2009 21:00
There’s a BBC News trail, then the recording ends with the start of The Ten O’Clock News. Five British sailors have been taken prisoner by the Iranian navy.
The first recording today starts with the end of Hole in the Wall. What a strange, silly programme this was. There’s a trail for Gavin and Stacey. There’s trails for Young Hairdresser of the Year and a promo for DAB digital radio. Plus a promo for the Strictly Come Dancing website and socials. Then it’s time for another episode of Merlin – Sweet […]
Show full content
The first recording today starts with the end of Hole in the Wall. What a strange, silly programme this was.
There’s a trail for Gavin and Stacey.
There’s trails for Young Hairdresser of the Year and a promo for DAB digital radio.
Plus a promo for the Strictly Come Dancing website and socials.
Then it’s time for another episode of Merlin – Sweet Dreams.
This is quite a fun episode. There’s a big peace conference between the five kingdoms happening at Camelot.
King Alined (David Schofield) who’s not fooling anyone with his name that’s just an anagram of Daniel, doesn’t want the peace talks to be successful, and he plots, with his jester, Trickler, to derail the talks. Trickler is played by the actor Kevin Eldon, and immediately this episode steps up a notch.
Their plan is to get Arthur to fall in love with Lady Vivian, the daughter of King Olaf, who’s famously overprotective towards her. She’s played by Georgia Moffett, who I believe is unique in being married to a Doctor Who, and being the daughter of a Doctor Who. She has a lot of fun with the role.
Trickler is clearly using magic during his jester’s performance, and yet Uther doesn’t seem to bat an eyelid. This was a bit weird.
He uses a lock of Vivian’s hair to bewitch Arthur and make him fall in love with her.
Next day, Arthur talks to Merlin about how he’s so in love, but Merlin thinks he’s talking abut Guinevere, whom Arthur has had a secret thing for for a while. When Arthur tells Merlin to deliver flowers and a note to his love, Merlin delivers them to Gwen, not Vivian.
This crossed wires gag results in some nicely written scenes where Arthur and Gwen are talking about love, and each is talking about different things and not realising.
With both Arthur and Vivian bewitched, it’s not long before he’s caught in her bedchambers, and King Olaf demands recompense. I love her expression here when he says “You’ve taken advantage of an innocent girl.”
Arthur and Olaf have a three-part fight to the death, presumably so staged so we can have dialogue and plot in between the stages. Arthur is surprisingly bad at fighting here, but I guess that injects some jeopardy.
Merlin’s magic isn’t able to break the spell on Arthur so he asks the dragon for advice. “You must find the person Arthur truly loves.” “And then what?” “One kiss from her will break the enchantment and he will desire Vivian no more.”
Merlin explains everything to Gwen, although she’s sceptical at first. But she follows her heart, and kisses Arthur, which removes the spell and leaves him a little confused at why he’s in the middle of a fight to the death.
In the third round of the fight, Arthur is the victor and has Olaf at his mercy. But instead of killing him, he offers his hand. “This is no way to achieve peace.”
Arthur delivers his own flowers to Gwen this time and they have a nice moment. I was really quite taken by the romantic mood of this episode in the end.
Alined isn’t happy with Trickler, and shackles him to his horse for the ride home.
Media Centre Description: Fantasy drama. Dignitaries from rival kingdoms descend on Camelot for peace talks, but what King Alined really wants is war and he’ll do everything in his power to stir up hostilities, even if it means using magic. Alined’s jester Trickler puts a spell on Arthur to make him fall madly in love with rival King Olaf’s daughter Vivian. Chaos reigns in the palace and Camelot is once more poised on the brink of war. Can Merlin free Arthur’s heart before the prince loses his head in battle?
Recorded from BBC ONE on Saturday 28th November 2009 18:03
After this there’s trails for Gavin and Stacey and Live at the Apollo and for the National Lottery Draws.
The recording stops just as Strictly Come Dancing is about to start.
The other recording today is an episode of The Thick of It. This is series 3 episode 6. The fact that this is the first one I’ve come across and yet there’s more of this series in my list is another piece of evidence that I’ve lost a hard drive.
Nicola Murray (Rebecca Front) is going to launch her new policy, the Fourth Sector Initiative. She makes the mistake of letting Terri help her with her makeup. Olli makes a crack. “Is this the way to the face-painting tent? I was hoping I could be a tiger, maybe.”
She does an interview with a BBC reporter which doesn’t go well, and seems to be interpreted as her launching a leadership bid against the Prime Minister.
Olli and Glenn wonder what will happen if there’s a change in government. Glenn reveals that he’s hoping to be on a long-list to stand in the next election.
Ben Swain (Justin Edwards) arrives, complaining that DoSac have stolen one of his flagship policies.
Malcolm Tucker arrives, a surprise to everyone who thought he’d be in Spain with the Prime Minister.
Reading the comments. “Does anyone else here think she looks like Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight?”
Tucker tells Nicola she has to talk to the press and squash the leadership rumours. He tells her to say “He’s the man of the moment.” She goes out and says “I’m backing the prime minister. The prime minister is absolutely the right man for the moment. Thank you.” Tucker is appalled. “Not for the moment! That’s the worst possible thing that you could say. Terri, get the dozy giblet back in here.”
Tucker doesn’t think Nicola should present the new policy, and tells Ben to go and do it. He flounders because he doesn’t seem to know what the Fourth Sector refers to.
Nicola rushes in and takes over, but it doesn’t go much better.
Afterwards, Glenn has to tell them that he hasn’t been selected to stand for Parliament. “The selection committee decided that my association with you was too divisive.”
Media Centre Description: Satirical political sitcom. With the Prime Minister away at a summit in Spain, Malcolm Tucker is left at home to mind the shop. Just as Nicola Murray is about to launch her Fourth Sector Initiative to the media, the media decide that what they really want is someone to launch another leadership contest. Does Nicola have what it takes and, if she does, can Malcolm take it away from her before she does any damage?
Recorded from BBC TWO on Saturday 28th November 2009 22:40
The first recording today starts with the end of Andromeda. Then it’s a repeat of Space 1999 – Journey to Where. Media Centre Description: Journey to Where: Sci-fi drama series. In an attempt to return to Earth, the Alphans find that they have travelled back in time to 14th-century Scotland. Recorded from ITV4 on Friday 27th November […]
Show full content
The first recording today starts with the end of Andromeda.
Media Centre Description: Journey to Where: Sci-fi drama series. In an attempt to return to Earth, the Alphans find that they have travelled back in time to 14th-century Scotland.
Recorded from ITV4 on Friday 27th November 2009 10:18
The recording ends with the start of an episode of The Champions. Roger Delgado has a guest role.
The next recording is a later repeat of the same episode.
Space 1999
Media Centre Description: Journey to Where: Sci-fi drama series. In an attempt to return to Earth, the Alphans find that they have travelled back in time to 14th-century Scotland.
Recorded from ITV4 on Friday 27th November 2009 14:53
This recording ends with the start of an episode of The Saint.
Finally today, it’s an episode of The Armstrong and Miller Show.
The first sketch is some Couple Counsellng.
When the couple leaves, the counsellor says “Kill them” into the microphone.
The important man striding through the office (BBC Media Centre again) gets fired – by Geoffrey McGivern no less.
A man goes into a tanning salon to ask to use the sunbed, and is mistaken for a spy by the man running it – who is actually a spy. “No, it’s just you said I’d like to use a sunbed, please. I said have you used a sunbed before, and you said yes. Oh, bugger. No, it’s my fault. No, I can see now. I should have picked a better password.”
Origins of the Job Interview.
The Patronizing white man in Africa.
The airmen are on the pull. “There’s your drinks and shit.”
Dennis Lincoln-Park, the clumsy historian, has the only surviving tulip from a strain from 200 years ago. It doesn’t survive.
Another 70s era public information film.
An embarrassing anecdote.
A man on the way to his wedding pops into the bank to get cash to pay the caterers, and descends into a kafkaesque nightmare when they offer him a credit card.
A French oral examination, except at the end it’s the Kill Them man.
The Secret Service are working hard to locate a terrorist device, but their boss is insisting they take all their break time to maintain work life balance.
A One Show-style news show talks to a scientist about his new discoveries. “OK, well, what if you were to take us through the whole thing, starting with the real basics and just working our way up?” “OK, yeah, yeah, we could definitely do that.” “Great.” “It will take quite a long time.” “How long?” “11 years.”
A Jeeves and Wooster type scene, except that the Wooster type has viciously assaulted a policeman and needs a plan to get off.
The annoying bloke who was jilted at the altar is still hanging around the honeymoon hotel being annoying.
Brabbins and Fyffe perform “What Must It Be Like To Be Gay?”
Media Centre Description: Sketch show starring Alexander Armstrong and Ben Miller features Flanders and Swann-alikes Brabbins and Fyffe, and a nightmarish experience for one man in a bank.
Recorded from BBC ONE on Friday 27th November 2009 21:30
Today’s recording starts with the end of Panorama. There’s a slightly longer trail for Small Island. Then it’s a signed repeat of Life – Insects. Media Centre Description: The nature documentary looks at insects, the most successful animal group ever. There are 200 million insects for each of us. Darwin’s stag beetle fights in the tree tops […]
Show full content
Today’s recording starts with the end of Panorama.
Media Centre Description: The nature documentary looks at insects, the most successful animal group ever. There are 200 million insects for each of us. Darwin’s stag beetle fights in the tree tops with huge curved jaws, the camera flies with millions of monarch butterflies, and super slow motion shows a bombardier beetle firing boiling liquid at enemies through a rotating nozzle. Also a honey bee army stings a raiding bear into submission and grass cutter ants march like a Roman army, harvesting grass they cannot eat.
Recorded from BBC ONE on Friday 27th November 2009 00:58
The first recording today starts with a trail for Don’t Get Screwed. Then there’s 60 Seconds of news. Then it’s a repeat of Doctor Who – Last of the Time Lords. Media Centre Description: Earth has been conquered and the Master rules supreme, with the Doctor his prisoner. Can Martha Jones save the world? Recorded from BBC […]
Show full content
The first recording today starts with a trail for Don’t Get Screwed.
After this, there’s a trail for Doctor Who – Dreamland and a trail for Young Hairdresser of the Year.
The recording ends with the start of Doctor Who Confidential.
The other recording today starts with the end of some SAS show or other – with “Johnny 2 Combs” as the SAS Consultant.
Then it’s an episode of Dollhouse – Gray Hour.
Dollhouse was the series Joss Whedon made after Firefly didn’t set the world alight. I’ve watched a fair amount of this before – I’ve got at least the first season on DVD – but it’s not a series I particularly loved. Maybe that’s why this is the only recording of it that I’ve got.
Eliza Dushku, Faith off of Buffy, plays Echo who is an “Active” – a person who’s had her personality wiped so she can be given any persona, in order to perform any manner of ‘work’. It’s as if Joss Whedon saw Joe 90 as a child and grew up to wonder “What if Joe 90 was a hot young woman and you could reprogram her to be a hooker”,
This guy always annoyed me. He’s seemingly their only tech person, Topher (Fran Kranz) and he’d 100% make an AI that would kill us all.
Harry Lennix, who we’ve seen in a couple of things, including Bionic Woman, plays Boyd Langton, who’s not an “Active” but a regular agent who works with the Actives on various jobs.
Olivia Williams plays Adelle DeWitt, who’s the person in charge.
Tony Amendola makes a brief appearance as the client for this weeks task.
In this episode, it’s looking like Echo is basically a hooker with some young men partying in a hotel.
Things soon turn nasty as she runs out of their hotel room, slightly bloodied, screaming for help as they drunkenly walk after her. He finds a security guard who’s able to take her somewhere safe.
He’s looking after the hotel’s reputation, so he gets a wad of $10K and asks Echo to sign a waiver absolving the hotel and guests of any wrongdoing. She acts a bit confused, and accidentally knocks the wodge of cash onto the floor, and when the security guard goes to pick it up she kicks him in the head knocking him out. She’s immediately on the phone to the men who were apparently abusing her to let them know she’s in position and give them the door code. So this is a heist. Which is a relief.
They blow a hole in the wall of the security room, into the adjoining building, which brings them to a very large safe door. Luckily, Echo’s current persona has elite safecracking skills.
The safe holds rather a lot of stolen art.
One of the team, Vitas, is played by Anson Mount, quite a while before he became Captain Christopher Pike in Star Trek Discovery. He was also Black Bolt in The Inhumans, but the less said about that the better.
Things start going wrong when the expert they’ve brought along to verify they’re grabbing the desired artefacts – part of the Elgin Marbles apparently – decides he’s going to nip out with the goods, and he locks them in the safe.
Echo phones Boyd to let him know the thief is on his way out, but then there’s a strange sound from her phone, and suddenly, her persona disappears, and all she can say is “Did I fall asleep?” She was the expert and now she knows nothing.
When they finally work out what’s happened, they have to get Sierra, another Active, to be programmed with the persona Echo was using – someone called Taffy. Sierra is played by Dichan Lachman, off of Severance.
She has to talk Echo through the process of getting the safe door.
Boyd is able to come and get them after a bit of shooting.
Media Centre Description: Gray Hour: Sci-fi adventure series about an organisation which reprogrammes women’s minds. Sierra takes on a familiar persona when an item is stolen during Echo’s daring art heist. [AD,S]
Recorded from ITV4 on Wednesday 25th November 2009 19:58
After this the recording ends with the start of Vinnie Jones Toughest Cops USA.
Here’s the Dollhouse ad breaks.
Adverts:
trail: Uefa Europa League Live
Lemsip Max All in One
Co-operative Funeral Care
Olympus Pen – Kevin Spacey
BT – Kris Marshall
PC World
Aviva
Articulate
Armani Code
thetrainline.com
trail: Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Vinnie Jones Uncut
Lemsip Max
Mastercard
Currys
La Nuit de L’Homme
Idole d’Armani
Love Cyprus
San Miguel
Grand Theft Auto Episodes from Liberty City
Currys
iPhone 3GS
trail: Big Fight Live
Audi A5
The Famous Grouse
Game
Nat West
San Miguel
BT – Kris Marshall
House of Fraser
Argos
British Gas
trail: Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Vinnie Jones Uncut
The only recording today is Life – Hunters and Hunted. Three cheetahs hunt zebra, but get driven off. They have more luck when it’s the three of them against one Ostrich. A young ibex has to try and escape from a fox. A greater bulldog bat goes fishing. A stoat chases down and kills a rabbit […]
Show full content
The only recording today is Life – Hunters and Hunted.
Three cheetahs hunt zebra, but get driven off.
They have more luck when it’s the three of them against one Ostrich.
A young ibex has to try and escape from a fox.
A greater bulldog bat goes fishing.
A stoat chases down and kills a rabbit – all while loads of other rabbits are sitting around.
Dolphins corral fish by disturbing a circle of mud, which makes the fish jump out of the circle, right into the mouths of the waiting dolphins.
Brown Bears fish for salmon.
Ethiopian Wolves go after rats.
A star-nosed mole can hunt well both underground and underwater.
A tiger stalks some Chital deer.
But some langur monkeys are also looking out for threats, and are able to give an early warning.
A squirrel has to protect its family against a rattlesnake. It’s able to distract it and confuse it, helped by having chewed up a snake skin and rubbed it all over its body, so it smells like a snake.
Killer Whales go hunting for seals.
In the behind the scenes segment, the crew are a source of interest to the seal community.
Media Centre Description: The nature documentary explores mammals’ ability to learn new survival tricks. In a TV first, a killer whale is shown sneaking into a pool where elephant seal pups learn to swim, saving itself the trouble of hunting in the open sea. Slow-motion cameras reveal how the star-nosed mole can smell prey underwater; young ibex run up an almost vertical cliff face to escape a fox; and young stoats fight mock battles, learning the skills that make them one of the world’s most efficient predators.
Recorded from BBC ONE on Monday 23rd November 2009 21:00
