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Celine was aware of the outrage she should have felt at Mattie’s remark. She did not. She was aware of where Mattie’s eyes were, straight down her oversized blouse. That same warmth from the shower, which really had never left, felt to be rushing across her as if she were made of dry wood and a spark had been lit.
Hadn’t she joined SIGNAL because of that same spark?
Mattie’s grin showed her teeth, long and sharp and proud. “Honestly,” she said, “I don’t know why I made the decision I did. Aye, I didn’t think about it much. But it was you or them. And I can’t perv on them on the showers, can I?”
Celine’s brain spluttered into life. “What?”
“Corporal Song and that bitch Dyachenko aren’t really my types. But you’re built like a ballet dancer. Compared to the usual kind of girl soldier, I mean. You’re so small and breakable.” Mattie put her book down. She finished her beer and crushed the can and tossed it aside. It clattered against the floorboards. “Aye, that makes a monster like me excited.”
“What?” Celine tried again. She could not tear her eyes from Mattie’s face, that patchwork of old pains. That honest grin, so full of lust for existence. She was aware of her own breasts; of her legs, of her body, like a ballet dancer’s, so it was. I never did ballet actually, she wanted to say. She did not want Mattie to laugh at her. She wanted Mattie to say more nice things about her. She, idiotic fly, wished for the spider to pamper her. Mattie stood now, in her man’s suit, all of her tense, Celine noticed. Was it so that Mattie was excited for this too? Nervous? What was ‘this’? Mattie now towered over her, her chest at Celine’s eyeline. Mattie’s chest, which, Celine mused, was where her breasts were. Mattie, arms crossed, ate Celine whole with her gaze. She laughed. “You’re not a virgin, are you, petite chienne? You’ve seen another human being naked before, right?”
Celine felt then that she was. Celine felt so much she was numb. Celine looked up into Mattie’s battered face, set now in amusement. Her eyes were not tender. She was not regarding Celine with any care or fondness. But her mouth, her gnarled smile, was hungry. Her hand moved. It touched Celine’s cheek. Hard finger tips but a gentle touch, brushing her skin with the most careful of caresses. Celine was rigid. “If the Volk Battalion comes knocking tomorrow and we get raped to death by gormless Russian Nazis,” Mattie said, “I think I’d like to be able to say I had a good last meal beforehand.”
“Meal…” Celine mumbled. Heard herself mumble. All of her being was focused on Mattie’s fingers against her. She had concentrated herself entirely upon that point, screwed up her soul and placed it into her cheek. Another hand joined the first, so that Celine’s face was captured. She whimpered, gazing at Mattie’s mouth. Mattie leant down and kissed Celine. For only a single instant was it just a kiss; their lips met and Celine quivered, her legs feeling weak, and then Mattie’s tongue forced its way into her. She met it eagerly and Mattie slurped and suckled at the inside of Celine’s mouth, spilling out of it, slathering spittle across her face, grasping at Celine’s chest with one greedy hand, straight under the blouse, and with the other encircling Celine’s waist, her grip harsh and painful and wonderful. Celine kissed back as best as she could, her own hands finding – what? She had no idea where anything was. Her own name seemed to have floated away into the abyss. Limp and pliant she let Mattie use her.
Finally she surfaced. Her breathing was ragged, shot through with need. She gazed into Mattie’s face, the entire universe. Her right breast was on fire where it had been touched and she was being held in Mattie’s arms and she never ever wanted to leave. Was there a blush on Mattie’s face? She wasn’t sure. Mattie picked her up, like a doll. She was flung onto the sofa. Her skirt was yanked down and her underwear next. She tried to close her legs and Mattie forced them apart. Below her the beast was hunched over, drooling. “You agreed to this.” Mattie said. “You’re not scared, are you?”
Celine stared. “I…I am.”
Mattie licked her lips. “Good.” And she buried her head within Celine’s thighs and got to work.
They had come to the bedroom at some point. Celine was naked. Mattie too. God, Mattie’s flesh – all over scars, everywhere scarred. Muscled and toned and powerful but wounded, with pieces missing. But it was those missing pieces that made her awesome; it was that which spoke to how much she must have survived, overcome, triumphed. She was like a worn statue or a painting with a scratch on it. There was some Japanese word, or something. Her brain throbbed. Her cunt was sore, trembling, still feeling a phantom tongue play it expertly, feeling Mattie quietly and calmly coax blissful music out of her. Her thighs were bruised. Were they? She lay down upon the refugee couple’s bed and stared at Mattie, mouth open. They had turned out the lights, the better to stay quiet, and before her the sergeant morphed into something else, fanged and vast, a demon. Celine was exhausted, emptied out. Her clothes were somewhere on the floor. She was a soldier. She had served with the GIGN and survived police raids and terrorist attacks and once with the grip of her revolver she had beaten a man to death. She-
She struggled upright. In the dark both women were only shapes. Patterns upon a surface. Smears on white paper. Distorted ink. Ink could spell out words, ink could represent beauty. Ink could make a terrible mess if you spilled it. Two ink stains could become one. Mattie had hold of her. Mattie was lifting her up, opening her legs again. The beast no longer spoke. Neither of them had spoken for some time. Two sweat-stained creatures both gasping for air. Mattie kissed her again, growling. Celine tried to find words. She felt Mattie’s endless lust. She felt as if she were about to be crushed beneath it, the immensity of this woman’s desire. Hands ran through her hair. A body slithered against hers. She searched through the soup of her mind, tried to articulate whatever it was she meant to say. It was important. Very important.
Mattie pushed against her. “You’re not tired, are you?” she whispered, words stroking the outside of Celine’s ear, slipping inside all the way to her brain. “I’ve got a lot more to get out of you, Celine.” At the sound of her own name Celine’s brain purred. “We’re going to keep at this until-”
“Bite me.” Celine said.
Mattie closed her mouth. For the first time since they had met she seemed to be taken aback. “What?”
“Bite me.” Celine repeated. She hugged the other woman. “Really, really hard.”
Mattie was still for a moment. They both were, trapped in this idiocy, in the middle of a war neither of them knew anything about, surrounded by dead farmland and men with guns, two dogs in service to peace who didn’t want peace, who for now only had the certainty of one another. Then Celine was shoved hard back onto the bed. Mattie grinned her grin, bared her fangs. “I knew you were my favourite type of prey.” she said. “How do you frogs say it? Bon appetit.”
The first bite hurt. It stung so hard Celine was shocked awake, for a moment, on her back with teeth in her shoulder. She kicked out, grunting. Liquid warmth, Mattie’s mouth and her own blood. She felt Mattie’s tongue along her flesh. She shivered. Mattie withdrew, dribbling onto Celine’s bare skin. She spat crimson. “Delicious.” she proclaimed. Celine whimpered. Mattie descended upon her again. The second bite hurt too, but not only that. Her hands found Mattie’s cheek. Mattie’s eyes found her in the dark. Celine touched her fingertips. They interlaced. And the next bite was even better than the last.
Sunlight. Celine groaned. She was in pain all over, her legs and her shoulder and between her legs and her collar and her right breast. Her first bleary thought was that she had been wounded. She span about, reaching for her weapon, and tumbled straight into Mattie, who was lying next to her beneath the sheets, fast asleep. Her nose prodded Mattie in the breast; her lips, for a moment, kissed the taut flesh beneath. She recoiled, turning over. Mattie remained asleep. Celine saw the room anew, saw the picture on the nightstand, the cupboards, the cruciform above the bed, the grim floral wallpaper. She saw the window and beyond the endless barren fields. She saw Mattie there nude. She made a noise that was beyond description.
Celine touched her own face with her hands. She found her revolver still hanging from the bedpost and she took it and held onto it tight. Mattie still did not move. While she slept her face, always so fierce, was slack, not comfortable exactly but at least calm, and so she was remarkably ugly, Celine thought; remarkably normal without her spirit in possession of her body, with only a nose and eyes and a mouth, all decentralised by her scars. More ugly but less grim. Her lips trembled, and Celine remembered those lips, red as blood, and the teeth within them, and the pain she felt all over located itself within her blurred memories of last night, and she seized up, blushing, and Mattie moved in bed, and startled Celine rolled away and fell and landed hard on her ass.
Her arse.
She struggled up, head pounding. Leaving Mattie she went to the bathroom. She stared at herself in the mirror. Violent, vivid bruises blossomed all around her bitemarks, dark red marks sunk deep into her flesh, pits of blood embedded within her skin. Each of them corresponded to the shape of Mattie’s mouth, each of them a print of the alignment of the other woman’s teeth, a diagram explaining the positions of her incisors, canines, premolars and molars; Celine saw how Mattie’s teeth were slightly parted, saw the irregular position of one of her canines, saw the unusual dent left by a chip on one of her bottom incisors. She ran her hands across the deep, throbbing bite on her shoulder. Her fingertips brushed Mattie’s phantom. She sighed.
“There’s men outside.” Mattie said.
Celine jumped. “Mattie!”
Mattie grinned. She was pulling on the suit from yesterday and had the Glock in her waistband. Her hair was tied back. “Good morning, doggy. Ten of them. Volk types. They’re going to knock on the door. A knock came from the door. “You should put some clothes on. Your uniform. Get the M4 too. Or you could go naked. That would be pretty funny.”
“Mattie, I-”
Mattie scowled. “What’s all this? Mattie, Mattie, Mattie. You’re such a fucking tool. We’ve got work to do. Action stations.” And she disappeared, leaving Celine in the bathroom. Celine touched one of her bites again, felt how much it hurt. She went to dress herself in her fatigues, gathering the M4 and tying her boots and slamming her helmet on over her head, wrapping herself up in combat gear, burying her bruises and her wounds and the strange heavy presence in her chest. There were men outside. She heard them knocking again. She checked her weapon, the sights and the magazine and the trigger. She slid her revolver into its holster at her hip. Her head still felt to be submerged in something. Her mouth was dry and her breath was soaked in stale-alcohol stench which upset her nose. She stomped out into the hallway. Mattie was there still in her suit, although she had found her beret now, and a pair of leather shoes from somewhere. She like Celine stank of stale sweat, deep bags under her eyes. What time had they stopped? How many times had Mattie made jelly out of her? But despite this exhaustion Mattie still grinned. “Let’s go, pup.” she said. The men were pounding on the door now, calling out in Polabian. Army! Open up! Mattie clicked off the safety on her Glock. “Mattie.” Celine said. “Sergeant Makepeace. Please.”
Mattie was peering at the door. “Please what?”
The door shook on its hinges. Open up! Celine had her M4 but was not sure what to do with it. She tried to find Mattie’s eyes. “I just…about last night…”
Mattie frowned. “Huh? What about it? You gave me a nice little snack. Perked me right up. What else do you want, puppy? You want me to eat you whole? Because that’s what I want. If you’re asking for a wee cuddle and a peck on the cheek, maybe a dinner date or whatever, then I’m not interested.” She approached the door, Glock tight in both hands. She looked back over her shoulder. “Predators don’t owe prey anything. Not in nature and not in sex. Now hang back and if I get shot I want you to shoot the bastard who did it. Make sure your hands aren’t shaking and make sure you remember which end the fucking bullets come out of.” She grinned. “If you do a good job, maybe I’ll give you another nibble sometime.” The door broke free of the hinges and slammed into the floor before her, and the two men in black uniforms with their AK-74S ready demanded that she drop her weapon.
Mattie fired twice, thudding impacts planting bullets in both men’s faces, which dissolved in a one-two show of clouds of blood, their bodies collapsing backwards. She looked back at Celine again, and stuck out her tongue. “But I do like your taste, little doggy.” And she stole out of the house. Celine stumbled after her. There were four men surrounding the farmhouse and Mattie ducked through the empty flowerbed as she caught another with her Glock. Two of the others were behind a waiting Jeep and one stood in the open with Spas-12 readied, balaclava decorated with a skull. Voices called in Polabian, here and far. The Spas fired, roaring its way through the morning air, and Mattie was struck in the side with a grunt, dropping her Glock. Celine raised her weapon. She caught the skull-mask in her iron sights, saw him pump the Spas, heard him call to his comrades, who now were peering around the Jeep, AK-74s aimed. She swept across the yard to them and loosed one burst at the first and his head was punched through four-five times and he collapsed, and the other ducked and her second burst made ugly music against the Jeep’s side.
With a growl Mattie, clutching her side, was leaping at the skull-mask, and she slammed into him just as he raised his Spas-12 and they both collapsed to the dirt. Celine left the doorway and met the other soldier as he was emerging from cover, his gun trained on Mattie’s back. She fired once. The bullet caught him in the chest and he stared at her, eyes wide in absurd surprise, before tumbling over onto his back. She joined Mattie with the skull-mask. Mattie slammed her arm into his, shoved her elbow into his face with a sickening crunch. He raised the shotgun to block her and she took it and ripped it from his grip and twisted it about like a showman doing a trick, and then brought the stock down hard upon his nose. The mask was covered in sticky dark blood. Mattie’s suit was shredded, her shirt ripped open, blood oozing from dozens of new cuts all down her right arm. The skull-mask lay there, groaning. “Targets down!” Celine said. Mattie bent over him. “Targets down!” Celine tried again. There was another engine coming, its roar rising and rising upon the horizon. “Targets down!” The skull-mask was limp and Mattie leant forward, coming down upon him. She made the most awful noises Celine had ever heard. Lustful noises, groans. “Sergeant – Mattie, we’re done. They’re down!” The noise of another engine came rumbling over the fields. Mattie ripped off the man’s balaclava and beheld his bloodied face. Her eyes were wide. She opened her mouth, panting and salivating.
Celine once had seen a rabbit get shot. She had seen old Bovet, her grandfather’s schoolfriend, take aim with his rifle and, peering into the thick woods beneath Mont Blanc, loose a single bullet that had struck a small, smoke-furred little buck right in the chest and through the front leg, shattering half its ribs and tearing off the limb. It had not died. She had stood with her father and hid behind his smock as the rabbit had begun to scream, high and raw and dreadful. It had not stopped until Bovet, pipe between his teeth, had stomped on its head with his great boot.
That was what it sounded like then as Mattie ripped open the soldier’s throat with a triumphant gargle. Blood sprayed out all over her, all across the soil, all down his front. Bent double she dug herself deep into him and she jerked her head and with a wet tearing sound something was torn free of the gaping wound in his neck with another splatter of flooding crimson. Mattie reared up, the man’s meat between her teeth gripped tight. Her unfeeling eyes were upon Celine. She choked the torn matter of his oesophagus deeper into her mouth, muscles convulsing with the effort, and then she began to chew. Blood still rose, in sad little spurts, from the dead man’s neck. Mattie chewed and chewed and then she swallowed. Her face was caked with blood and the remnants of her shirt were soaked through and through its ragged material one of her breasts protruded, bathed in gore. She looked at Celine still. She grinned. Chunks of human flesh flecked the white of her teeth. She was so beautiful.
Mattie clambered off of the dead man, Glock in hand, and Celine joined her. Celine met her eyes. The stench of blood was overwhelming. For a moment they were silent together outside of the house, the distant engine drawing closer. Mattie stared at her. “In Northern Ireland.” she said. “I was trapped in a prison with a bunch of ex-provos. No one could get in or out. They had all the food. I had nothing. Last soldier in the squad. Prey for the enemy. But do you know what I did?” Celine said nothing. She could not watching Mattie’s mouth, smeared with blood like some grotesque kind of make-up. “I survived.” Mattie said.
“Who…who did that to you?” Celine asked.
Mattie did not grin. “The British Army. Tried to make the toughest soldier possible. Human beings are cheaper than Challenger tanks. And they wanted to make soldiers who could take out tanks themselves. In my case they fuckin’ succeeded. I got out. Gave up my humanity.” She paused. “Don’t go pitying me or whatever the fuck! I don’t feel anything about all of this. I don’t know who God is. And I’m so fucking free, and so happy, and a nice wee thing like you-”
Celine kissed her. The taste was warm and hot and sickly and still she pressed her lips to Mattie’s. Blood and spit and the shocking way in which the other woman, invincible until now, yielded to her, parting her own lips and allowing Celine’s tongue inside of her. Celine kissed but also cleaned. She swept up some of the pieces of meat in Mattie’s mouth and she sucked them into her own. The taste was Mattie. She swallowed. She parted. Mattie looked at her, wordlessly demanding an explanation. Celine frowned. “You’re not allowed to go around taking bites out of people anymore.” she said. “If you need to eat someone, eat me.” And she realised she had eaten a piece of human flesh and for a second she wanted to throw up. But she did not. Mattie’s expression was a puzzle. She looked away, bloodstained lips trembling. “You’re daft.” she said.
The noise of the engine had risen and risen and now it was upon them. They stood together as another Jeep rolled forth, M249 SAW erect and thrust to heaven, manned but not pointed towards them. It was pockmarked with bullet holes and the front window was broken and Blucher peered at them through the shattered glass, his enormity pressed ungainly into the driver’s seat. Behind the M249 Houseman gazed down. “Christ.” he said. “What the hell have you been up to, Makepeace?”
Celine found herself smiling. “Sergeant!” she called. “Houseman!”
“Get in, you two.” Blucher called back. “Evac in less than an hour. Dyachenko and her team are holding things down, but what with Murashko missing from his prison cell it’s getting too hot. We’re going to have to hurry.” So the two of them went to the Jeep, great juddering monster, up close tamed, safe and steady. The sun was rising over the dam, peering over the top of the valley. Celine and Mattie sat either side of Houseman’s legs as Houseman stuck himself out of the open top. “Good to see you again.” he grunted. “Celine, anyway. Why the hell’s there blood on your lips?”
Celine blushed. “Um.”
“And why the hell’s there brown on your trousers, Houseman?” Mattie said. “You didn’t shit yourself when the Polabians clocked us, did you?”
“Shut up.” Houseman said.
She laughed. And the Jeep started to move, and for a moment as it moved, with Blucher driving and Houseman covering them from above, with no one’s eyes upon them, Mattie’s hand touched Celine’s, and gripped her fingers there, and held them so hard that it hurt. And Celine looked into that scarred and bloodstained face, and those eyes, like a predator’s, that held nothing for her, and those lips, full of cruelty, and she felt her heart pulse within her chest, a wet and sticky organ. And Mattie let go and Celine turned away, M4 ready, peering out at the valley, and they drove on towards the extraction point. The taste of the man Mattie had killed lingered on her tongue, and so did the taste of Mattie herself, and they were both sweet in her mouth. One day she hoped to be that delicious. The sensation of Mattie’s teeth on her bare skin. The rumble of the Jeep around them. The feeling of her revolver’s grip slamming into a man’s skull. Celine, facing away from all of them, allowed herself a little grin of her own.
–
“Anyway, it’s satisfying to see that I was not wrong to trust you.” her father said in his precise RP accent. Mattie lay back on the bed with her phone in hand. The flat was dark; she had closed the curtains and worked her way through a few beers and now she lay there in vest and shorts, toned flesh at ease, arms and legs aching from the gym that morning, where she had seduced a married woman named Sarah who had been watching her deadlift routine and trying not to; after Mattie had finished Sarah had asked her for advice on form, and Mattie had taken her in the showers and left here a whimpering wreck. She hadn’t bitten her; the temptation had been there, was always there. It would be bad form, she thought, to leave blood all over a gym only a month into the membership. That was definitely the reason, she thought. She stared at the empty screen, where the profile picture should have been. Her father did not use a profile picture. Her father did not use his real name. He was on the app simply FATHER. “Murashko has made contact with London and he has ensured me that British Armaments will reap contracts for the new Polabian military when the war is won. And Blackwell is impressed with your unit.” he continued. “Now we both know that means he is impressed with you. He admires your work, even if he will not admit it. I feel you’re finally managing not to disappoint me.”
“I love you too, father.” she said. She coughed. “I mean, Blackwell’s a tosser, but he knows talent where he sees it.” There was a long pause. “He recognises your talent, I mean. You did such a good job making me.”
“I did.” he said. “And from a bloody girl, as well. I hope you always remember how much I had to do, to make you. To build you into a useful asset for the family.”
“Of course, father.” she said. She turned over onto her side. Her thighs ached. Her body seemed to be unsettled; Sarah hadn’t been enough, had she? It was true that there was no ‘enough’ for her, but this was in some other, more immediate sense. Her flesh missed something. An absence within her. “Hey.” she said. She lifted up a hand and looked at her new scars, from the glass of the car windshield in Polabia. “Hey, dad. You really were right about everything. Thanks to your training I got one of my squaddies on side.”
Her father waited. Waited for what? He was always waiting even when he wasn’t. She knew sometimes he waited just to punish people. Sometimes the waiting was real and if the expectation of delivery wasn’t met there would be punishment; sometimes the waiting itself was a way to hurt, to scare, to keep his inferiors in their place. She heard the disappointment in his silence. But he loved her, she knew, and so after enough of a wait, after her heart had begun to pound in incipient panic, he sighed. “On side?”
Mattie laughed. “Yeah! A silly frog lass. Swiss. They put her under me for the Algiers job. She was so in love with me from the start. Couldn’t stop staring. Last job we ended up stuck out in the field and the dumb little cow lasted maybe twenty minutes before she was m-yours. God! So fucking easy. She was asking me to bite her, for God’s sake! Stupid bitch gave her virginity to your fucking psycho-killer daughter!” She realised her voice was getting slightly too loud. “Isn’t that funny, dad? The idiot gave me a lovely little kiss, like in a romance novel. But she’s such a pervert, deep down, and I made her realise it. I made her worse. I made her eat a bit of a guy!”
Her father did not laugh. “Awfully vulgar.”
“Oh.” she said. “Sorry! Sorry, father. I was just…like you said I should…”
“The cage in Derry made you strong.” He sighed. “It did not teach you any bloody manners. Never mind. You will always let me down with something.” Ice in her chest deep into her all the way through and out of the other side. Always the same sensation; always the same inability to respond. She only lay there on her bed and resolved to drink something and to fuck something before bed. “But this new asset of yours.” he said. “That is interesting.”
Mattie’s heart pounded. “She is.”
“Do you think she could be broken in properly? For the family.”
She sat up. “I think so, dad. I really think so.”
A long pause. The longest in the world. “Then I give you permission, Matilda.” he said. “To swallow her whole.”