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1. Life is given, experienced before it is explained
   • So, we accept life as a starting point
   • We could philosophize, but let’s stay with the experience for now
2. Let’s imagine that life is a river
   • The river moves with a wisdom larger than our plans
   • I know this sounds too abstract, but stay with me

1. You navigate with your boat
   • The degree of control varies (depending on wind, etc.)

1. There are random whirlpools in the river
2. Sometimes the current gathers and you find yourself carried in one of those whirlpools
   • This prevents you from making progress, and you start running in circles

1. The first step is noticing: “I am in a whirlpool“
2. The second step is making a choice:
   • Stay inside the spin: fuse with it, let it amplify, and slowly forget the one who is steering
   • Or step back, become still, defuse the whirlpool, and steer again.

The river continues, and we learn to be present within it…

A reflective exercise for you. Describe a whirlpool that you encountered during the last week.

• Where were you? What was happening?
• What changed inside you the moment you noticed you’re in it?
• What was the whirlpool about? How did it feel in your body?
• What choice did you make?

$ ./budge-tp.py examples/whirlpool.btp-- The programmer mind defaults to SEARCH — reaching for a system, a fix, an escape.thParadox : WHIRLPOOL(SEARCH(ESCAPE_WHIRLPOOL))-- Noticing the trap, the mind searches for escape from that whirlpool too. It deepens.thDeepened : WHIRLPOOL(SEARCH(WHIRLPOOL(SEARCH(ESCAPE_WHIRLPOOL))))-- Response A: fuse with it. Become the whirlpool. It grows.thAmplified : AMPLIFY(WHIRLPOOL(SEARCH(WHIRLPOOL(SEARCH(ESCAPE_WHIRLPOOL)))))-- Response B: notice it. Step back. The observer is not the whirlpool.thDefused : DEFUSE(WHIRLPOOL(SEARCH(ESCAPE_WHIRLPOOL)))-- The whirlpool does not vanish. It is simply no longer you.thPresent : PRESENT

• What fragments you?
• What defragments you?
• How are you balancing both?

There are many psychological theories, each aimed at providing a unique perspective on how we view the world. Think of them as glasses that, when you put them on, change how you see things. They are helpful in that they reveal some aspects of an experience that would otherwise not be visible. But there is no single theory that reveals everything. After a psychological theory is developed, it can be used as a framework for person and personality analysis or therapy.

Now, each of the theories is composed of building blocks (dimensions) that define it. Think of any building block as a dial that can be turned to some position. A unique configuration of dial values can roughly describe a specific psychological theory.

Let’s explore what those basic building blocks are.

Each of these building blocks contains sub-blocks, for example:

• Determinism vs Free Will contains Causality (what caused X) vs Teleology (what X serves)
• Stability vs Change contains Past vs Present/Future
• Conscious vs Unconscious contains Reflective thought vs Habitual response

The list could go on, but we can use these five already to capture a lot of what forms a theory.

The dials of a few example theories:

• Psychoanalysis
  • determinism > free will
  • nature > nurture
  • stability > change
  • universality > individuality
  • unconscious > conscious
• Gestalt Therapy
  • free will > determinism
  • nurture > nature
  • change > stability
  • individuality > universality
  • conscious > unconscious
• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
  • free will > determinism
  • nurture > nature
  • change > stability
  • universality > individuality
  • conscious > unconscious

Why does it matter? Remember, they help us see the world in a different way. Consider the following scenario:

Alex freezes in meetings. The thought is there, the body tightens, the moment passes, and afterward there’s shame.

Now, viewed through different lenses:

• Psychoanalysis: Their experience is shaped by unconscious processes rooted in nature, unfolding largely through determinism rather than choice; because these dynamics are universal and formed early, their personality tends toward stability over change.
• Gestalt Therapy: Their experience is shaped by conscious awareness and free will, emerging from nurture and present context; because the self is lived as an individual, it remains open to change in the here and now.
• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Their experience is shaped by conscious thoughts learned through nurture, allowing free will to interrupt patterns; since these processes are universal, deliberate practice supports reliable change.

While all theories may be true in essence, some are experientially truer. Which is the truest, though? That’s for Alex to figure out what resonates most with their lived experience

In reality, not everything is black and white. While these extremes allow us to build a mental model and think in those terms, this is not to say that we must pick either left or right – in fact, in between there’s a lot of interesting things. Different theories often mix different parts of the other extremes, even though in general they favor one extreme.

Interestingly enough, opposites in general often form frustrations within ourselves. Should I speak or listen? Should it be A or B? The most useful answers to those questions are often found in the tension between the two

What’s your dial configuration?

Theories describe us
to an extent

But we truly live through
love
and faith
and hope
and openness
and acceptance

I analyzed 700971 bytes worth of journalling data for 2025. Here are the most common patterns, ready to use as sticky note reminders for myself.

Love simplifies thinking. Clarity comes without effort. Continuously learn to love self and others; the universe favors love.

Presence helps more than problem-solving. Use all senses equally. Let spontaneity flow.

It aligns me naturally. The ego relaxes, effort drops, and presence takes over.

When we feel heard, mirrored, and accepted, we soften and open. Correcting or explaining increases pressure.

Be yourself, here and now. Defining Self increases anxiety, service lowers it. Stay connected, not entranced. Learn to enjoy the now, let go of the prison you built yourself.

Work on internal opposites and unfinished businesses leads to integration, wisdom, calmness. But it is also draining. Less inputs allows the system to relax.

When I act kindly in the moment, understanding and meaning come for free. The ultimate compassion tool: empathy, truly stepping into another person’s shoes.

Insight is to experience what a theorem is to a proof. We know that 2+2=4, but to understand that on a deeper level1, we need to look at the proof.

Similarly, these insights are checkpoints of some destinations I reached during my travels. If you are curious more about the journey rather than the compressed insight, I wrote it in more detail in my fourth book, The Mirrors In Us.

We suffer when we substitute cognition for love, and we heal when cognition serves love.

1: In some cases, the depth of understanding I needed was too large, burdening me. Accepting a specific depth rather than spiralling forever was crucial

Right after waking up, I didn’t remember exactly what I had dreamed about, but I did remember the system: Do Kinder Acts. It is a very simple system, where everybody is inspired to do better, ever kinder acts.

It isn’t about doing grand things. It is about the small, simple things. For example, John helps Jennifer carry her groceries. After this act, Jennifer feels inspired to reciprocate by doing better, kinder acts, perhaps by helping two people carry their groceries, Bob and Alice, instead of one.

This isn’t a utopian fantasy, either. A personal example: While driving my car once, another driver started using their horn aggressively. At the moment, I chose to move my palm up and down to indicate “slow down, we’ll fix this”. The driver shook his head in disbelief and leaned back slightly, as if he were waking up from some sort of trance. He became calmer. Now, imagine an opposite reaction, where I react with aggression; then we would both fall into the same trance. Aggression transmits aggression. Calm transmits calm.

What’s a kinder act? How can I do something that the other will perceive as kind? Those are the questions worth directing our energy toward.

I wrote about On Positivity. The tl;dr is that when people are positive, when they feel heard, understood, and accepted, their world and perspectives become wider; they start accepting more, growing more flexible, and their love and understanding expand. In a negative state, they contract, the world becomes narrower, their focus shifts to the negative; naturally, to get rid of it.

A system like this could change the default tone of human interaction, resulting in peace, harmony, and love.

Starting is simple, too. Reflect on these two questions daily:

1. What kinder acts did I perform today?
2. How can I perform better tomorrow?

Sit with me. Take a breath. Slow your thoughts down. Breathe deeper. Slow down.

Have you slowed down yet?

Now read this positivity: You are amazing. You are beautiful. You are special. You are full of love. You are interesting. You are needed. You are heard. You are felt. You are understood.
You hear. You feel. You understand. You are loved. You love. You are special. Read it all again, slowly, and feel the love.

Now, reflect: Do you feel the expansion? Do you feel the beauty? Do you feel the colors? Do you feel the connection to yourself?

Stay with it. In this positivity is where we become flexible, and growth happens.

Next, contrast that to reading and experiencing negativity.

Do you notice how the expansion shrinks? How the focus narrows on the negative? How our focus turns only on getting rid of that negativity? In this negativity is where we become rigid, and either fight or flight happens.

You can’t fully choose when you experience positivity or negativity, but you can choose your environment and some of your reactions. Based on your experiences, you can optimize for positivity.

You don’t have full control over it, but with the power that you do have, how do you use it? And, knowing this, in what ways can you let some positivity in yourself?

As I grow older
I become wiser
But also more crooked

Experiences are lessons
That help us learn
But also, sometimes taint our soul

Through God’s love
Through God’s mercy
And through His grace
I pray, I repent

For the purification of my soul
And my heart
I pray

To be cleansed
To be shown the way
To be pure
Just like when I was a child

To be grateful
To be loving
To be able to love everybody
And to be able to love myself

As I was rewatching Interstellar a few days ago, a question popped into my mind:

Is there a relationship between black holes (spacetime disturbances) and psychological stuckness (and similar phenomena)?

But since I don’t know much about physics, I re-framed it as:

Is there a relationship between formal systems (paradoxes) and psychological stuckness (and similar phenomena)?

Sure, if we construct the analogy In this post, I’ll give that a try.

A formal system is an abstract system consisting of axioms (truths without the need of a proof) and inference rules (a way to combine axioms to deduce new truths, called theorems).

Stuckness is a psychological phenomenon that happens to all of us – that feeling that we’re stuck on something. It could also feel like running in circles (e.g., getting pissed off by the same things over and over, or public speaking anxiety, or …, etc.)

Now, Gödel proved that:

[Completeness] In any sufficiently complex formal system, there exist true statements that cannot be proven within that system.

[Consistency] In any sufficiently complex formal system, the system cannot demonstrate (prove) that it is free of contradiction.

Here’s when the analogy becomes interesting: the Ego can be represented as a formal system. Then, stuckness appears exactly at the boundaries of what the system cannot prove or resolve.

Let’s assume an Ego with the following axioms:

• “I must be strong”
• “I must be good”
• “If I am real, I will be rejected”

These axioms define:

• Their logic
• Their conclusions
• Their self-image

Now, notice that whenever a conflict appears in such an Ego, it gets created by exactly those axioms, and it cannot be resolved using those axioms. You cannot fix the system from inside the same rule set that produced the contradiction.

So the person becomes:

• circular
• repetitive
• trapped in self-justifying logic
• endlessly explaining symptoms, but never dissolving them

That loop is the stuck mind. But note that stuckness isn’t weakness — it’s the system preserving consistency (I can keep my current system) at the cost of completeness (I won’t discover new things).

Gödel also showed the only way around is:

You must step into a stronger system to prove the statement.

Psychologically, that stronger system is:

• a new observer (therapist / God / higher Self / awareness)
• a new language
• a new story
• a higher level of consciousness

Healing is the gradual expansion of that system through insight, tears, language, dreams, prayer, forgiveness, journaling and love.

1. Locate the loop (your repeating theorem)
   • E.g.: No matter what I do, I end up drained.
2. State your core logical belief (axiom)
   • E.g.: If I were truly myself, then I wouldn’t need to act too much.
3. Construct the paradox (this is the Gödel moment)
   • E.g.: I want real, deep, safe love.
4. Find the unprovable statement (the hidden truth)
   • The real reason I can’t resolve this is because, at some level, I believe that ____.
5. Identify your “meta-system” (the way out)
   • A version of me that could hold both A and B without breaking would be someone who ____.

Great, we have the system, we have the understanding, but so what? A person who is stuck doesn’t need to be told “here is which axioms you should refine”. They need to feel heard, understood, and listened by someone with true compassion.

This is the difference between whataboutism (philosophizing about something) and isism (just being).

What was my need to write this post? Understanding, clarity. These systems are abstract and only help us communicate with each other.
How far can one go with the meta–meta–meta–meta… levels?
How much awareness is enough?
How much can a human bear?
At which point does one become a bit more rigid? Or a bit more fluid?
At which point does one go beyond understanding?

Maybe the final “meta” is not more understanding, but continuous healing and acceptance, of self and of others.

Brief write-up
What can I come up with
In a minute?

Well, anxiety first
But then
Why am I rushing

Not like I can control time
But do
The best I can
In the given timeframe

Done before a minute

As I sit
And wait
I am thinking
How trances feel

Liberating
In the moment
At the cost of
Temporal dissociation

What most feels right
Is transcending trances

Replacing the tendency to
Step into trances in waking life
With
Staying awake in waking life

Transcending loops
And mazes

For there, I can
Truly feel
My self

Not mere awareness
But true awakening

A heightened awareness
Who does the thinking?
I do

Who does this writing?
I do

Just a simple
I am
I am
…
I am
I am.